Anxious about Dd potentially going to London University

[AffronttoBS]

Dd is applying for ucas 2023 entry, two out of her 5 choices are London (imperial and ucl). If she gets offers, on the one hand they are fantastic universities, and London should be full of opportunities and it would be great to study and live there. On the other hand, I’m getting more and more nervous about the state of things in London, especially regarding the decline of law and order and how risky it would be for her as an environment to learn to be independent.

aibu? Are there other parents feeling this way? Or if you are a parent of a yr 1 , yr 2 London student, how do you feel about your dc studying in London?

@xpc316e evil is everywhere indeed, especially it seems in the MET

I am sick to the back teeth of threads on here from people who know nothing about London portraying it as some kind of crime-ridden hell hole. Millions of us live here and go about our daily lives without ever encountering any of the issues you seem so terrified of. I live in central London (absolutely not in a ‘leafy enclave’ as someone else suggested) and think it would be a brilliant place to go to university.

I've found it eye-opening and, honestly, somewhere between hilarious and slightly worrying that there are so many Country Mice out there who picture the whole city as some sort of gang-ridden Gomorrah-esque wasteland and to whom it never seems to occur that literally millions of people actually live here, just y'know having lives and going to work and raising children and popping to the local cafe and playing football on the weekends. More people than Scotland and Wales put together. Just living here having normal lives. Do they really think we're all either gangsters or living terror-stricken lives in some kind of fortified bunker?

We live in London and our local corner shop man was stabbed to death about a year ago so I am not unaware it is a lot riskier than many places. However teenagers just have to be sensible and avoid the more dangerous bits and they should be okay.

I wouldn't be any more worried about her going there than anywhere else. I think the main thing from my own experience is how much more expensive it is to live as a student there. I met quite a few very wealthy foreign students who went to those who would never have had to work or worry about budgets and loans etc. You also might not get the same kind of campus experiences you might get in other places.

Do they really think we're all either gangsters or living terror-stricken lives in some kind of fortified bunker?

They really seem to. Where do they get this idea from? The right wing press, I assume, who all have a vested interest in portraying London as a hellhole so they can use it as a stick to beat Sadiq Khan with.

And that's not to mention the tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of students from all over studying here, attending world-class, one-of-a-kind institutions like SOAS and the LSHTM and Central St Martin's and the London College of Fashion and Imperial and UCL and King's. Do they think those students are routinely going home in body bags?

Yes YABU.

Your anxiety should have NO influence on your DD’s choices.

London is safer than it’s ever been, and it’s considerably safer than many many other major cities.

@astronewt to be fair there are plenty of international students who never leave zone 1 and do think that anything further afield is terrifying.

In all honesty I would worry slightly about this if my 17y old was applying to Manchester or Liverpool, even thought there are 1000s of students that go through there without incident. London I honestly wouldn't. Maybe it if just where you're used to.

It’s the expense of London that would put me off. Also, how far away do most students live from the central London university sites? How good are the transport discounts, given the distances I should imagine most students would need to be travelling every day? What do students do for nights out - do they have very active, heavily subsidised SU activities, or are they all scattered all over London doing whatever they can afford near their accommodation? Is there a very high proportion of exceptionally wealthy overseas students and people who grew up in London going to the London universities, or is there a reasonable mix of people from all UK backgrounds and locations? Because I can well imagine someone finding themselves falling between the cracks of not being wealthy enough to join in with quite a lot of the students who are not from London, and not having the advantage of having a London base already to make London even remotely affordable or hospitable. It’s easier to cope with not immediately making friends at university if you already have contacts and friends in London, or if you are so wealthy you can drown your sorrows in all the expensive cultural opportunities.

My concern would be the cost of living in London, but I don't think crime etc is significantly worse than other big UK cities. I think she'd have a great time - so many experiences and opportunities. I live in south London and genuinely never felt unsafe or experienced anything scary when out and about

All of this. It’s fascinating, but also mind boggling that there are people who think like this. Have they literally just never been anywhere?

Also, how does the fact that London is the hub of arts, culture, government and industry, and accounts for 23% of the entire country’s GDP square with all this for these people?

@Greenshake we live close to Southampton and know it well

don’t like it

and just confirms my dislike of big cities

DS goes out in Southampton and Portsmouth/Gosport, and has already experienced randomly being threatened and intimidated…

but that’s exactly what I don’t like about cities

We live within commuting range of London and my DCs have been travelling in to meet up with friends since they were 13 or 14. Like PPs I find it both hilarious and faintly worrying how many people think London is some unique cesspit of vice unlike anywhere else.

All big cities have areas which it might be wise to avoid when you're on your own and it's late at night, particularly as a woman but London isn't any worse than anywhere else. DD2 did her first degree in Nottingham (which she was warned was a really violent city) and her second in London. Never had a problem in either. She just uses her common sense.

I moved to london in my 20s and still here in my 50s. Funny enough my 4 DC have managed to survive growing up here and funnily enough want to stay here.

London is a great city for students, my DH moved for Uni and is still here.

Your DC will love it - however they need to be aware of risks, keeping bags closed, not walking round with fancy phones etc etc

Where would you prefer she studied?

Hi OP I came to study in London from a v small town 30 years ago. It was a rubbish college in a (then) rough part of town. I was petrified before I started, but I loved it.

she’ll be fine. it’s really very safe here if you’re sensible about it

DS1 is doing a masters at UCL. One of his friend recently experienced an epileptic fit on the tube and some people in the carriage took the opportunity to relieve her of her phone and money. Another friend fell down some stair to the tube and people keep filing pass by just stepping over her. But he understand that is just how city folk are! The students however have been super friendly.

Dd is in UCL for the last 4 years. She loves it and has really embraced the city life. You need to be sensible as you would in any other city and stay safe. She is glad that she went to London but not sure if she will stay there long term. This is mainly due to the rent and cost of living. Some of her friends have opted to stay at home and this is an issue if you are looking for house share and most of your London friends opt to stay at home and commute.

The...decline of law and order? Goodness me!

Welcome to the Thunderdome. 😂

Honestly OP, stop reading the Daily Mail. I live in London and my neighbourhood is lovely. I go out on my own at night and everything!

Yes, I’m assuming that far too many people are getting their news from the Daily Mail. Please stop. I’ve lived and worked in London and think it would have been a great city in which to be a student (preferable, in my opinion, to places like Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds etc).