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Original poster

Son (18) Distraught Over Results

380 replies

annelovesthebeach1975 · 18/08/2022 16:29

Hello everyone! I have been a longtime lurker of mumsnet for years now but today I have felt the need to finally make an account and post here, as my house has been plunged into chaos by the dreaded A Level results day. As the title says, my son has been absolutely distraught all day over the fact that his a level results were not what he wanted, and he got rejected by his dream uni, Newcastle University, and also his insurance choice, Birmingham. Although he only wanted to go to Newcastle so he doesn't really care about that. He received BCD although his predicted was AAB so obviously everyone was quite disappointed, but my son has taken it absolutely horrifically and it is breaking my heart. For some backstory, from when my son started lower sixth, his teachers helped students start looking for unis and courses during free periods at least once a week. From when my son began researching unis, he's only ever wanted to go to Newcastle University. When we went to the open day last year after he got his conditional offer he was hooked even further. He even knew what accomodation he wanted. He's a smart boy so I wasnt too worried about him getting in. However, after some of his exams he seemed quite unsure of himself, saying he didn't feel like he did a good job. I assumed this was just him overthinking it but now I believe the fact he didn't actually sit his GCSEs because of covid has had a negative effect on him since these were his first 'real exams.' He has been on the phone to clearing all day basically pleading for a biomed place at Newcastle and he has emailed them directly as well, although biomed and many other science courses are not clearing and his grades are much lower than the entry requirements so it has made things very difficult. I am putting on a brave face for him but on the inside I am heartbroken. This summer all he has talked about is what he's going to do when he goes to Newcastle, how excited he is, and how he's so excited for freshers week in newcastle. His eyes are red raw from crying in his room between contacting Newcastle over and over. He is not usually an emotional lad so this is very upsetting for me. I have contacted his sixth form for advice and they basically told me there is basically no chance he will find a biomed place at Newcastle with his grades, which were a shock to his teachers as they all thought he would breeze through his exams. It is looking like he will have to resit his a levels which while it is not the end of the world, it feels like it for my son when all his mates got into their unis, some Newcastle, and will be starting there next month. I am just looking for any advice on how to comfort him because I want him to know that I am there for him, and if there's any way I can get him a place at Newcastle on a science course that is biomed or similar.

OP posts:
Flapjacker48 · 18/08/2022 21:37

@AugmentedToast What did you retrain in? Asking for a friend... 😉

Blueblell · 18/08/2022 21:38

Are there any course where there is a foundation year - I know in astrophysics there are such courses.

Also as it such a drop, is it worth asking for a remark? I don’t even know that is possible?

I feel for you - I could be going through similar next Thursday - although I know it’s quite as serious with GCSE

Tophy124 · 18/08/2022 21:39

A levels are brutal. I also had high predicted grades and came up short on results day and lost out on all my Uni places.

I ended up doing a course and university I found via clearing and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done!! I made friends for life and found a career I completely loved.

Please help him look at clearing or consider a year out from education and then jumping back in. I promise this isn’t the end of the world and he will bounce back, he just needs to know there’s other options xx

WhimsicalGubbins · 18/08/2022 21:39

I don’t have any advice OP, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that your son and you are going through this. Made my heart hurt just reading your post. Sending you a big hug

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 18/08/2022 21:49

Loads of fab advice on this thread, I can't add anything further.

Just offering support to you and your DS. He will be OK and look back on this as just a small bump in the road. At the moment it feels so much worse. Hugs to you both.

NotSonicTheHedgehog · 18/08/2022 21:51

Science lecturer in an FE college here. Sunderland offer a foundation year. Newcastle is a good uni but I’ve heard from employers in the region it’s not the best for biomedical
www.sunderland.ac.uk/study/integrated-foundation-year/biomedical-science/

lovethehighlands · 18/08/2022 21:52

annelovesthebeach1975 · 18/08/2022 16:29

Hello everyone! I have been a longtime lurker of mumsnet for years now but today I have felt the need to finally make an account and post here, as my house has been plunged into chaos by the dreaded A Level results day. As the title says, my son has been absolutely distraught all day over the fact that his a level results were not what he wanted, and he got rejected by his dream uni, Newcastle University, and also his insurance choice, Birmingham. Although he only wanted to go to Newcastle so he doesn't really care about that. He received BCD although his predicted was AAB so obviously everyone was quite disappointed, but my son has taken it absolutely horrifically and it is breaking my heart. For some backstory, from when my son started lower sixth, his teachers helped students start looking for unis and courses during free periods at least once a week. From when my son began researching unis, he's only ever wanted to go to Newcastle University. When we went to the open day last year after he got his conditional offer he was hooked even further. He even knew what accomodation he wanted. He's a smart boy so I wasnt too worried about him getting in. However, after some of his exams he seemed quite unsure of himself, saying he didn't feel like he did a good job. I assumed this was just him overthinking it but now I believe the fact he didn't actually sit his GCSEs because of covid has had a negative effect on him since these were his first 'real exams.' He has been on the phone to clearing all day basically pleading for a biomed place at Newcastle and he has emailed them directly as well, although biomed and many other science courses are not clearing and his grades are much lower than the entry requirements so it has made things very difficult. I am putting on a brave face for him but on the inside I am heartbroken. This summer all he has talked about is what he's going to do when he goes to Newcastle, how excited he is, and how he's so excited for freshers week in newcastle. His eyes are red raw from crying in his room between contacting Newcastle over and over. He is not usually an emotional lad so this is very upsetting for me. I have contacted his sixth form for advice and they basically told me there is basically no chance he will find a biomed place at Newcastle with his grades, which were a shock to his teachers as they all thought he would breeze through his exams. It is looking like he will have to resit his a levels which while it is not the end of the world, it feels like it for my son when all his mates got into their unis, some Newcastle, and will be starting there next month. I am just looking for any advice on how to comfort him because I want him to know that I am there for him, and if there's any way I can get him a place at Newcastle on a science course that is biomed or similar.

Who goes to university nowadays ? with 50k debt !

tell him to go into trade plumbing, electricians, locksmithes, gas engineers ! thats where the money is!

my OH is a carpenter skills he picked him from his uncle, helping mates and then he did a NVQ in his teens and now he gets jobs all the time!

Norugratsatall · 18/08/2022 21:54

Oh op, I know only too well what you're all going through. 10 years ago, happened to my DD. Also biomed, but she had her heart set on Sheffield. She was Inconsolable. She took a place somewhere else in Clearing in the end where she was happy and successful ending up with a First. Went on to do a masters at a London RC uni and will hopefully complete a PhD at the same Uni later this year. But she still talks about 'not getting into uni' all these years later despite her later success. It affected her massively but ultimately, it all worked out ok and it will for your son too in the end, sending hugs though,it's so hard for all concerned. 💐

CurlyhairedAssassin · 18/08/2022 21:54

What exactly is it that has him fixated on Newcastle so much? Is it renowned as being the best for biomedical sciences? Is it because it's a good university city? (there are a few others very similar) Is it that he was really lost when he was first choosing universities and jumped on the first one that one of the teachers suggested and simply focussed on that one because there was too much choice elsewhere and he found it all too much pressure trying to choose and was just floundering? Is it because his very closest friends picked there and Newcastle Uni became THE desired place to go amongst that group of friends (young people who don't know where to start looking often look to peers who seem to know what they're talking about when discussing why a particular uni or course is good). Is it because he is quite young for his age, is quite shy, only confident when with close friends and is secretly terrified at the thought of going somewhere else where he knows no-one and doesn't want to consider any other option becuase of that?

NegroniNonna · 18/08/2022 21:59

@lovethehighlands lots of people want to go to university but the most important thing is that OP's son wants to go.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 18/08/2022 22:03

Could your son see if there are other science-based courses going through clearing from Newcastle? See if he can get on to them and then transfer at some point in first year when a place becomes available (because it will - people always drop out).

lovethehighlands · 18/08/2022 22:08

NegroniNonna · 18/08/2022 21:59

@lovethehighlands lots of people want to go to university but the most important thing is that OP's son wants to go.

true but its not the end of the world if you can't get into university.

I know people who can't spell their name making a mint in trade and loads of other jobs which dont need University. Especially the 50 K debt which i don't understand why you'd want!

clareykb · 18/08/2022 22:10

Every year on A level results day My husband who is now in his 40s, had a first from a good university and a high up managerial IT role, reflects and tells me all about how awful he felt in the 90s when he flunked his A Levels and didn't get in to his first choice. He ended up doing a foundation course at his second choice in a related subject and then transferring across so not sure if anything like that would be an option. I did really well in my A Levels, have a masters from a posh Russel Group uni and he earns more than double what I do! I known its hard for him to see it now but there will be options for him eventually even if it means resitting.

MacaroniBaloney · 18/08/2022 22:18

This happened to my DS 5 years ago. Only wanted Newcastle (after being hugely disappointed) and decided to re do his final year and do re sits. He was really focused, got the grades needed to go to Newcastle the following year. He graduated last year (did a 4 year degree) and honestly am so proud he picked himself up and got what he wanted in the end.

Today will feel like the end of the world but it honestly isnt.

Meanderer · 18/08/2022 22:20

same as @ArseInTheCoOpWindow and @Beekeepersapprentice and others, got terrible grades first time round, was shocked and embarrassed but Mum was amazing and was very matter of fact and like ‘you can retake, no biggie’ which I did in one year and went where I wanted. He’ll be fine 👍🏻

FiddlefigOnTheRoof · 18/08/2022 22:36

Sometimes the wrong train will take you to the right station

FrazzledMcFrazzled · 18/08/2022 22:38

Very sorry to hear this . I can remember that disappointment only too well . There is so much to be gained from having a gap year to re-take or just re-think , may be earn some money and travel . Better to take that time rather than rushing into a course out of desperation. It’s a real positive to start uni a year older and wiser.

YuppieToast · 18/08/2022 22:38

lovethehighlands · 18/08/2022 22:08

true but its not the end of the world if you can't get into university.

I know people who can't spell their name making a mint in trade and loads of other jobs which dont need University. Especially the 50 K debt which i don't understand why you'd want!

Show quote history

Well it really will seem like it if that's what you absolutely want from life!
And not everyone is suited to learning a trade, I have absolutely no dexterity or hand-eye co-ordination; can't imagine I'd have made a great electrician.

0live · 18/08/2022 22:46

notagain2001 · 18/08/2022 17:31

That course needs AAB, the same as the course he wants to do an Newcastle. But he got BCD.

RampantIvy · 18/08/2022 22:53

mam0918 · 18/08/2022 17:39

It's probably a blessing, unless your rich and can open your own private company or have ties and an in at a private one then DONT do biomed at Newcastle.

I studied Biomed at Northumbria and we where full of post grad Newcastle students resiting because Newcastle doesn't qualify you to work for the NHS.

Yes, the Newcastle biomed degree isn't IBMS accredited, but it is accredited by the Royal Biological Society.

You need IBMS accreditation to work for the NHS, but loads of biomed graduates don't want to work for the NHS.

I'm so sorry that your DS has had such a disappointing day @annelovesthebeach1975. I feel that too many teachers give over optimistic predicted grades that set the students up to fail. Our university application system is so stressful.

I think resits are the way forward, but you need to check if Newcastle will accept resits.

A word of warning though, DD has just graduated from Newcastle with a biomed degree. She went there with AAA at A level, and she said the course was hard.

MSJK · 18/08/2022 22:59

I totally feel for him, I was in a similar situation 10 years ago and ended up resitting my chemistry A level then studying Cell and Molecular Biology at Newcastle Uni. The resit year was tough and I was lucky that my parents organised a chemistry tutor to help me get through it!

I loved my degree and ended up with a first then stayed in to do a masters and PhD in Medical Genetics and working in medical research. If he hasn’t already, maybe check the school of biology courses but even if he does decide to resit, he’ll get there in the end!

Oddsocks55 · 18/08/2022 23:02

I hope he's feeling a bit better this evening. I ended up taking an unpkanned year out between my a levels and university because of my mental health. I had quite a chilled year, working to build up some savings and just growing up a little. I did feel pangs of sadness when my friends were at university and I wasn't, but I got my chance the following year. And that year out just sort of reset me a little.

It feels like the end of the world for your poor son right now, because at that age, exam results are the most important thing. I hope he can be kind to himself over the next few days, and he will see the positives in this in time.

Scepticalwotsits · 18/08/2022 23:08

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 18/08/2022 16:33

Could he get into Northumbria uni through clearing?

this is not a bad shout. Its the old poly but is now a decent uni its its own right, depending on what you want (sport (probably second behind Loughborough, business and law is its main strengths)

The two unis do cross pollinate a lot with a lot of them second year on living in Jesmond, the two unions host a lot of music between them so there isn't the same level of rivalry as you would get. I'm assuming it wasn't medicine he was going to Newcastle for?

If Northumbria is a no go for clearing, maybe reset and try next year if the location is such a key thing

Theredjellybean · 18/08/2022 23:13

The disappointment is hard to see.. We want our children happy after all.
But I'd gently question the obsession with Newcastle uni.
Going to uni to do a degree should be more about the course, and what the degree is rather than where you go.
So if it's only Newcastle that will do he should find a course in anything via clearing at Newcastle.
If he actually wants to study biomef science then he resits or find biomed science course at other uni that will take him.
Only he knows what is most important to him... The course and the sequelae of studying that course... Or three yrs at a certain uni.