DS now doesn't want to go to Uni. What now?

[rusticnomad]

Our DS has suddenly announced the week before A Level results day that he doesn't now want to go to Uni at all, but doesn't know what he does want to do. We've talked about local jobs, apprenticeships etc but his response to everything is idk, he's overwhelmed with having to make a decision when none of the alternatives appeal to him. (He never did any work experience (Covid) so he actually has no real experience of work, whilst we weren't able to view Uni's either, so isn't sure what that entails). He had several Uni offers & is quite bright (forecast AAB) so having him drifting along at home doing nothing isn't appealing. I still think Uni is best choice for him but don't want to pressure him into it. Any advice gratefully received.

Quoting my post...

Whether or not the OP has visited any universities is largely irrelevant, but yes, it is unfortunate that none of the universities their DS was interested in / deided to apply to held either an open day or an offer holder day in person.

The pertinent person is the OP's DS, not her. Even these days, students do attend open days without a parent in tow, but it seems that he picked universities offering in person neither open days, nor offer holder days. At least, I am assuming that that is the covid-related reason why he has never actually visited them (choosing not to attend them, though available, 'because covid', woukd be something else entirely).

I am agreeing that he should if at all possible not commit to 3 years in a place he has never seen, hence my suggestions re getting to see them in the next week or two.

try visualising living somewhere you’ve never seen. There are a few people who can jump in without ever seeing a uni

Many students go abroad to Uni and don't have the opportunity to visit every Uni they apply to in person.

Thanks everyone for their helpful comments.

We didn't view any Uni's because we couldn't - they were all locked down. Apart from virtual tours (which were a complete waste of time) all we were able to do for any of our 6/7 shortlisted uni's was to walk around the campus at Loughborough, but we weren't allowed in any of the buildings so no talks about the courses, no accommodation viewings etc. Fortunately they are all opening up again - too late for the 2022 entry cohort other than for last minute clearing viewings. We were lucky in that we have an older DS with whom we had done some viewings a few years back so had some idea, but I really feel for those for whom Uni in 2022 is a totally new experience; its sounding like we're going to get clobbered on the grades on Thursday as well 😡

@rusticnomad loughborough visit we went on wasn’t the best either - just a walk round outside and a general talk about uni. Such a same none of the choices had something for your son.

Any change to his outlook on things - I think the majority of kids are doing stomach flips and swapping and changing their minds with the current stresses.

My ds did poorly in his highers (Scotland) and resat in 6th year, left with no uni place and a plan to do an art school portfolio course. It was home based because Covid and he hated it, so he got a job as a home carer. Loved that and 2 years later age 20 he's about to move out and start a nursing degree. Some kids just don't know at 18 and need a little more growing up time.

Try looking at the website www.notgoingtouni.co.uk

but I also think this is very common at this stage. Fear of the unknown, worry about results, I would definitely advise a year off , a years more maturity can work wonders.

My DD did this. We just deferred her place “just in case she changed her mind” and she had a gap year, where she worked in several different jobs. She then did decide to go to Uni and took up her place.

Should add the gap year did her the world of good and she was so ready for Uni by the time she went.

I'd be relieved about uni. Unfortunately it's been restricted to the wealthy/those who don't mind £30K of student debt/those with a clear vocational path (professional) and get a bigger loan than academic.

I do not want my daughter to do what I did and get an academic degree for personal pursuits (worked since age 15 and through uni)

There is simply no need. Any interest is learnable via personal study. Work experience is got all the same except no time taken up with academic deadlines.

I would encourage getting varied experience and doing an apprenticeship and if you change your mind after that's fine. But nine grand a term to get a degree in politics? What for?

Apprenticeships are wonderful. Even if you learned a trade then packed it in you still know that trade and can go back to it.

My advice is stack qualifications and skills until you settle. Stacked skills are invaluable. I worked through uni so would encourage the same because leaving uni with no work experience (unless it's a vocational degree) is absolutely useless.

I'd encourage him to get out there, work, and see what sticks. All the while you gain valuable work experience and with every endeavour you improve your employability.

Surprised there weren’t any open days at his two choices you could have attended this summer - we went to six in late June / early July and would have done more if they hadn’t clashed. Have two more planned in September. Quite a few were offering campus tours over summer holidays as well - we did one in late July as it was close to our holiday destination.

How is he feeling now he has his results?

Like PPs - deferral, plus nice bracing gap year.

Sorry! Zombie thread thrown up by the "similar threads" algorithm. Apologies