Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

@Malbecfan thanks for this! My dd isn’t a confident cyclist and she’s too scared to get a bike. Hopefully this isn’t social suicide!
I had no idea about the gowns! I’ll have a look at Ryder and Amies. Quick question do they use the same gown for graduating?
Wow it’s all starting to feel very real - Dd already surfing the fresher socials

Looking at the gowns now...is it worth paying the extra for the heavier ones? Or does it not really matter?!

@Decafcoffee yes, they keep the same undergrad gown throughout at C.

@Panicmode1 I don't think it matters. DD's was pretty light but graduation day was boiling so she was glad. C is more relaxed about gowns than O from what I understand. You need one for matriculation but some colleges which don't have formals have a load of them for freshers to wear for matriculation. One parent of a Churchill student was moaning about the fact that they weren't ironed (said parent is a royal PITA who was gutted that her DC "only" got into Churchill, not Queens or Trinity FFS). DD's gown was used for choir in the college where she sang (not her own college) and the associated weekly formal. She used to go to a couple of formals per term in her own college too. After multiple attempts to pin the hood on for graduation, it's rather shabby now but she has moved on to the graduate gown which is university-wide, longer & heavier.

Thanks @Malbecfan (I'm a big one too btw!) - that's really helpful. DS is 6ft 4 so I'm amused they only come in one size. His college does have regular formal hall so I guess he will use it more than if that weren't the case.

Hi - am dipping a toe in here from the covid cohort board. DS is off to C to study history. First in the family to go to Uni. He has had a link to order his gown which he has done and it is in the post. He was worried if he had to collect it from the shop he wouldn’t be able to find where he was going! The college Facebook group has been active and helpful, there are very kind second years on there running it so that has been lovely.

@Ironoaks I remember those days. DD's cohort were virtually all in strict self isolation. DD's room faced the road rather than the gardens, so she couldn't even enjoy the festivities from her window. They made up for it 9 months later. 2020/21 fortunately feels like a different era now.

Ox gowns - DD's is usually on her floordrobe. It's a scrum to get tickets for formal in her college, so it may get worn a couple of times a term. Like the vast majority of students she has never ironed a thing in her life and is permanently crumpled.

Waves back to @Scrobbler . I hope your DC settles quickly into their new college. I wonder if the St Benet's diaspora will stay in touch with each other over the coming year?

On a separate note, @Malbecfan - iron a gown?! I thought the whole point was to have it as scruffy and threadbare as possible if you want to project the image of a scholar, mind on higher things...

Just found this thread. Daughter will be reading maths at O and I am woefully unprepared. I thought getting there was the hard part! Little did I know...

DS is hopeless when it comes to photos and is very unlikely to share anything once he's away, so I like this idea.

We're going to have to go suit shopping next week. I've been trying to kit him out with enough clothing to keep him going but I've held off anything more formal until we were sure about where he was going. Can he get away with just one suit or does he need more?

@BenedictSlumberpatch lol. Even though I love ironing, I have never ironed DD's gown because she hangs it up after every wearing. This batshit mother was appalled that Churchill apparently don't launder all gowns once photos have been taken... Best of luck to your DC this coming year. I hope all works out in their new college.

@petitebleu O or C? I'm sure one suit will be fine at C.

In terms of photos, DD sent us a link for us to browse them online. Still have it displayed on our mantelpiece and it is in pride of place in my DF's kitchen. Graduation was worse because they took about a gazillion pictures, some in college, some at the ceremony. Cost a bloody fortune! I didn't bother buying PhD matriculation photos. It was a windy day and DD's hair was blowing all over the place. She didn't like them either. Gives me time to save up for the next graduation, assuming she makes it.

@Malbecfan Thanks, yes he's C. So, a black suit for matriculation then?

@petitebleu I don't think it has to be black. Can you search on SM for previous years' photos? DD's college always puts a big group one on FB.

Hello Old and New Bloods! (@DadDadDad 😁)

D1 will be going into her third year at Oxford this October. She is doing a History joint, the numbers on the course are tiny - 12-15 per year across the whole university - so I don't want to be more specific, but feel free to PM me. She is currently the only person in her college doing this degree. Sorting the timetable out is a real pita but she does love both her subjects.

For anyone who hasn't seen, Oxford railway station is closed at the weekends in September and the first weekend in October for refurbishment works.

www.ox.ac.uk/students/news/2022-08-02-be-ready-oxford-railway-station-weekend-closures-september-and-october

Having had a great time (despite the slugs and extortionate rent) living out for her second year in a shared house with five friends she'll be back in college for her third year. She's excited to have her own bathroom and access to a much better kitchen than in her first year. We are taking her and her stuff back to Oxford in the car, how it has worked previously is that she books a slot through the college as the arrivals times and parking is staggered. I'm hoping there won't be too much to ram in the car (300 mile trip for us!) as she was able to leave some stuff (clothes horse, kettle, coffee maker, lots of books etc) in the storage space at the plodge. We certainly had a lot to bring back in the summer, and she also sent some back via Send My Bag which worked really well (they have student rates www.sendmybag.com/student-shipping)

She's had a lot of work to do this vac, she's getting ahead with what will be submitted work, essays and dissertation so she has at least first drafts done for the start of term and also planning a week on a Spanish farm with friends for September.

Another welcome to everyone just joining this thread. Very exciting times for all of you with DCs heading off to Oxbridge!

@BenedictSlumberpatch and @Scrobbler - I hope your DCs settle into their new colleges OK and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose your own college and at this late stage, start again at another. I hope the new colleges are very helpful and supportive. Very good luck!

Regarding Matriculation and gowns, DS2 at O had much more use out of his gown at first than DS1 at C.

DS1 (C) didn't even have a Matriculation photo until his second year because of Covid and lots of people seem to have 'dressed down' deliberately in their tattiest jeans. So there wasn't much need for smart suits. The college also refused to allow for individual photos too. He's only really needed his gown and suit since - in his second year - becoming a choral scholar and at last getting to attend a formal each week.

So those with DCs at C, I doubt there's much need to have smart clothes even for Matriculation, unless of course some colleges are more traditional. However, DS2 (O) has had a lot more wear out of his suit and gown from the start - formals, choirs, scholars dinners, sports dinners etc.

DS1 (C) never really unpacks at all, between terms, so all his clothes remain rolled up/scrunched up in a canvas bag on his bedroom floor, with no ironing necessary!

How exciting to see all these new names! Welcome aboard!

@goodbyestranger alas there are several books clearly marked as to be read before term starts… DD’s BF who is in the year above studying music but at a different college had nothing to do before term.

Re suits, depending on college I think a dinner jacket is useful for boys… but a dark suit can probably do if need be. (DS has just found a cummerbund in a charity shop so his black tie outfit is getting pimped up!)

@petitebleu some Cambridge colleges have stricter dress codes than others.

At DS's college, the dress code for matriculation and formal hall is a dark coloured suit, white shirt and tie. Other colleges are more casual. You can search online and look at past matriculation photos for the college to get an idea of the style.

He has only ever needed to take the one lounge suit for regular events. He wore a dinner suit (bought second hand from eBay) to his college's May Ball, but that only happens once every two years.

Ballgowns for the girls. Most of the colleges have may balls (in June) straight after exams finish. You can also buy tickets for other balls. They are grand affairs, with all inclusive food, drink, entertainment, press association photographers and media coverage. There are also slightly less prestigious ones in winter and spring, like the Law Ball and Pink Ball. Check out youtube videos

Dress code is usually black tie (white tie for Peterhouse) and long dresses for the girls. Your girls absolutely do NOT need expensive dresses, but they will need a dress (or two) and comfortable flat shoes/wedges. DD1 says that loads of girls were rushing around last minute trying to buy something and all the seamstresses were turning down alterations as they were fully booked.

Save them the aggro and buy and alter in advance. There's loads of stuff available on fb marketplace. Something from Quiz is perfectly acceptable. Dresses are mostly simply cut, no meringues.

I would advise the boys to purchase a dinner jacket.

Also on a side note: No candles in rooms.

pantjog it’s certainly true with my three History DC that the expectations of pre-reading varied by college

CJB my girls would say trying to source a ball dress now, at least for Oxford, is very unnecessary. They say no one came armed with a ball dress and that it’s much nicer having the buying of ball dresses being a shared experience with new uni friends. Also cupboards can be weeny! Also won’t most decent summer ball dresses be sold out at this time of year? So only the ones no one liked will be left.

My DS at O didn't think he would need a DJ but we persuaded him to take an old one that he could just squeeze into just in case. He's used it several times a term - now grown out of it due to so much rowing training so we've been sourcing a new one over the summer so if you can find a reasonable second hand one do take it. But you can also hire them from Walter's in Turl Street so don't panic and see it as essential.

Boys also need dark suits for matriculation at O and for taking exams so definitely worth having a suit. His formals sometimes are suits, sometimes more casual and sometimes DJ. It is an old central supposedly not too stuffy college.

The colleges do vary. My old college had no gowns for formals - in fact rarely had formals, I only wore mine for matriculation and exams and for Principal's collections - where you get your verbal reports at the end of term. - Different from Collections which are the exams at beginning fo term set by many colleges to keep you on your toes...

@goodbyestranger DD was too busy with exams to be buying last minute, so was everyone else and as exams are staggered, it would have been really difficult to pin down availability for everyone to spend a day shopping (and having to pick up whatever is available in Cambridge. She always needs alterations. This way is much more convenient. She has some absolutely stunning ones bought in the sales from high end shops and second hand.

CJB each to their own but DD4 had her college ball the weekend before her Classics Mods started on the Monday, so not exactly not busy !

I think generally it seems as though most colleges at C are a bit less strict (certainly DD's is). I told DD she would need black and white for matriculation and sleeves on her blouse (which I'd read somewhere) but she wore a sleeveless smart dress in a colour as did most of her friends.
She has worn her gown A LOT - she is at a formal at least 10 times a term - it gets washed in the holidays and doesn't need ironing. It was the cheaper one at £39 and has been a good buy. She has a lot of formal clothes (has only been to 2 balls so only worn 2 proper long dresses, both of which have been her school prom dresses, both of which were quite simple) but she has bought them all from t k maxx or vinted. I really like the fact that brand and style doesn't seem to matter at all. She needs a black dress for college orchestra concerts but otherwise there doesn't appear to be much prescribed wear.
We have been to guest formals which is great fun but much more stressful in terms of knowing what to wear!

@Greatauntdymphna that’s so good to know about washing and non ironing of the cheaper gown, I didn’t think of that! Dd will in the choir so I’m guessing she will be wearing it a lot too and I can’t really see her ironing anything! Although I thought since she will be singing in the choir in different churches (those can be quite cold) it might be warmer for her in the thicker robe. Decisions!