Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

@petitebleu ugh they’re a breeze in comparison in my opinion.

it’s really tough knowing they’re having a hard time. My very sensitive, home-loving state-school ds with few friends decided to take advantage of a boarding scholarship to a good public school for 6th form. The first week or so I had messages pleading to come home - he hated it, didn’t fit in, was so miserable, they were all wankers etc etc.

Very gradually he accepted that the education was worth it, but could he be a day boy? And I kept putting him off, telling him to wait until half term to decide. Then he made a friend, then two, and his tutor really helped. By the end of lower sixth he was enjoying himself, and by the end of upper he loved it, had many friends and some of them have gone to Oxford with him. He’s totally transformed from the quiet, reserved and self conscious individual he was before he left.

He realises now I think that even if he feels uncomfortable in a situation, it won’t always be feel like that, and it does sound as though your boy gets that too. Encourage him to keep going, one friend at a time.
If it’s really not for him he doesn’t have to stay after all - it’s supposed to be enjoyable, not torture!

leaving home is always difficult, and the extra pressure of going to O make it that much harder. I hope he finds it easier soon x

Thank you @Toomuch999 and @HoneyMobster I am grateful for the support here. Hoping for a positive update soon,

the extra pressure of going to O make it that much harder

As must be clear from my posts above, I have enormous sympathy for petitebleu's DS, but I really do feel that Oxford with its college system is far, far easier on the social front than the much larger unis. I'm absolutely convinced that it must be harder to get lost and go off the radar in a huge more anonymous self catering hall of residence (and utterly grim if you're one on those poor kids who has the bad luck to be shipped out miles off campus because of over subscription). That doesn't make it easier for the moment for this DS who is clearly feeling rotten, but in objective terms the chances of things coming good are far higher I would have thought, so in that respect easier for petitebleu to have optimism herself.

Keep up low key pressure to get to meals (early, with a phone as a crutch) and to seek out a club or two petitebleu and best of luck to your DS. Very very early days.

@goodbyestranger I absolutely agree with you. I am so glad that he is where he is. I went to Durham and would also have struggled in a big city university. Knowing that he has the college to support him when he eventually reaches out is a huge comfort. I have no concerns about the academic side of it. I know he'll get there once his initial terror of everything fades.

Evening all. A quick and possibly silly question. DD2 has a problem with her laptop — the screen is malfunctioning. She’s taken it to a shop and they say it will take up to 2 weeks to repair. Meanwhile she has lots of reading to do (all online) and essays to write (in the computer) and neither college nor the faculty have any computers she can use. Any suggestions?! This must have happened to other students… Is there a very reliable and very speedy repair shop in Oxford? It’s an iMac if that’s relevant. (Inherited from a relative… at this point a cheap laptop would cost less than the repair, but she wants to hold on to it.)

She's having a rather bumpy start and this extra stress is something she could do without…

pantjog between them my DC have had all sorts of laptop issues and (sorry, this is vague) they all seem to have been saved by some kind of central uni computer help facility.

Pantjog is that MacSimple she's tried on the Cowley Road (very near the Plain)? They're very good but I've never found them the fastest. There's one on St Aldates and one on the Botley Road I know - will pass on the names in a minute.

But mainly - how can there not be a computer she can use?? My first port of call would be the college library - if no joy there talk to the college librarian.

OK hightec solutions, 99a st aldates. I did once buy something there but haven't ever had anything repaired.

I would really ask around though - maybe the porters, her tutor, if the librarians can't help? It seems like the sort of thing the university would definitely have a setup for.

@pantjog I'm so sorry to hear about your DD2s laptop malfunction. My DS2 got lots of technical help from the college tech. expert when he had difficulties in his first year at O.

DS1 at C has always been able to use college laptops and even had to transfer to using one, mid-exam, when his chrome book (he doesn't have a laptop, just a chrome book) didn't allow him to do something related to formatting in his first year exams. So your DS2's college really ought to let her use the college facilities and I'm surprised they won't.

Good luck!

D1 took her laptop to the 'college IT guy' when she had problems with it. He was very helpful but eventually she needed a new one. I ordered from John Lewis which she was able to pick up at the Westgate Centre the next day.

Thanks all. I'll ask her to see if there's a central IT helpdesk of some sort. She's adamant that there are no computers in college or the faculty that she can use but maybe she's just looked for physical workstations rather than asked anyone. I'll check. It's not a particularly wealthy college AFAIK so maybe the provision is limited. Seems pretty fundamental, though!

I may end up taking her an ancient computer from home to tide her over.

We're not a very tech-rich family. Until the latest lockdown, DD2 didn't even have her own laptop -- she just used the family PC.

She's been to Western Computer on Gloucester Green which seems ok from the reviews I've found but who knows. Certainly a fortnight's wait seems excessive -- that's a quarter of the term!

Hell's bells pantjoy if she's still unable to get anywhere by Friday I'll be back in town and she can borrow one from me for a week! But I really don't think that should be necessary. I am absolutely certain that the college librarian should be able to help out.

This page does have a phone number- i was a bit worried that it would only have email www.it.ox.ac.uk/find-help-and-support

So kind of you @PermanentTemporary, thank you so much!
DD saw that page but got the impression they would help with email problems etc but not personal hardware. Worth a try though.
Fingers crossed… otherwise I’m on a mercy mission (and wondering how to get a desktop into central Oxford on a weekday)…

There isn't a college which isn't accessible I don't think pantjog, but you might have to go back way for eg Teddy hall or Queen's to avoid car bans. I'm sure the porters would give your DD a temporary parking permit to give you time to lug the desktop out of the car.

@petitebleu I sometimes have to remind mine to check that they have met their physiological needs. Once they have eaten, hydrated and slept, they are often in a better position to assess their own mental well-being and take action if needed.

@pantjog, what a stress for you and your poor DD. I hope she/you find a quick resolution to the problem that isn't too costly. DD has used college IT support in the past but we did end up replacing her laptop.

Wise words @Ironoaks. The basics are so important and are easily overlooked in the busyness of the first term. The one time DD called home in floods of tears was fifth week of her first term. She was going down with a cold, hadn't slept or eaten. She was amazed how much better she felt after taking some simple steps to look after herself.

To quote one of my DC (having usual round of start-of-term bugs), 'I'm up, I'm clean, I'm dressed, I'm fed, I'm medicated, still not great but kinda functional...'

Just a few years ago it would have been unthinkable that there wouldn't be a desktop available somewhere, but I have the impression provision of that sort of thing is on the way out sadly. If she can't find anything in her own faculty library, it's possible she may be able to gain access to another faculty's that has what she needs. (They don't tend to really check who comes in or out.)

Delivered ancient ipad rather than ancient PC to the grateful DD which made logistics easier. She's delivered the broken laptop to another shop -- which promises to have it fixed in a day or two... fingers crossed. Grabbed lunch with both DDs which was lovely. Both a bit under the weather but that's par for the course I fear.

The traffic restrictions in Oxford are pretty scary nowadays. ZEZs and bus only lanes everywhere. I think I managed to stay where I was supposed to but it wasn't easy. If I hadn't been under time pressure I'd have definitely not driven.

I quite agree @Zodfa! I can't really get my head round how ill-served for computers the university is. DD could have gone to the Bodleian for a computer (possibly) but she was told a firm no from college and university IT, and the faculty. Still, it was nice to have an excuse to see the DDs.

I will stop boring on about this now 😬

@pantjog oh no! Do you mean emission zones?

Dp and I dropped ds and didn’t see anything like that but have had to pay £££ in London before when we thought it had been cancelled but it was just the congestion charge, so we’re possibly not the most observant 🙄

We drove down St Giles, delivered to central college, then back up to park & ride. Am I going to get something nasty through the post?

Found this on the ZEZ if it's any help?

www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/residents/roads-and-transport/oxford-zero-emission-zone-zez/view-map-zez

@Toomuch999 you'll be fine. You'd have to try quite hard to drive in the zone at all.

Don’t worry @Scoobyblue — I’m also a Londoner and therefore paranoid, but when I got home and checked I found that the zone is tiny. (Just a pilot scheme at the moment.) My mistake was inputting Gloucester Green in to the satnav and then finding myself a few metres away from the car park but about 10 minutes’ drive!

I mean @Toomuch999 sorry!