Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread 2022

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

Some of us on this thread go back to I think to late 2019 when our DCs were going through the admission process. A lot's happened since!

Over to you...

Greetings to all. Feeling a bit wobbly here as DD2 is off tomorrow. Thought I’d be fine about her going as I’ve had practice with her older siblings but it turns out I’m not. She’s churning through the stacks of pre-arrival written work she was assigned and feeling miffed that students at other colleges haven’t had to do any…

DD1 is already back in Oxford in a rented house that looks just like the sort of grungy place DH rented in the 90s… DS is back in Cambridge too so the house is getting very quiet.

Good luck to all the freshers, returners and parents!

Hugs to everyone whose dc is flying the nest this weekend.

Thinking of everyone dropping off this weekend too. I spoke to DD on FaceTime on Thursday and had a few texts yesterday sorting out her car insurance - car is with us as she doesn't need it in C. DD2 has been back for 2.5 weeks so DH and I are rattling around here but I am going to collect my Dad next weekend & he's staying until the new year, according to him! Both DDs planning to come back just before Christmas...

We successfully delivered DS for his third year. The second and third years seemed to be already in college, and he was the last of his friendship group to arrive, but we couldn't drop off mid-week due to work patterns.

The music group he plays with is holding a mini concert this evening to encourage Freshers to join them - DS has barely picked up his clarinet between June and today, so it might have the opposite effect...

We have pencilled in a visit in four weeks, so that will be something to look forward to.

I am a Used Gourd and a Rind.

Done. All fine. Ridiculously smooth operation - started so early that there was hardly any traffic and we arrived before time, but they let us in anyway. Ds all unloaded rapidly and scooped up by his college parents. Really nice room, about twice the size of his bedroom. A very quiet seeming neighbour, unless he has an unsuspected passion for drumming or similar.

I'm broken. Hope I wake up tomorrow ready to embrace this new chapter. Right now - lost. Little ds with his chubby cheeks. Very glad my dp is coming over tomorrow.

@permanenttemporary I feel similar. Just got 6 sets of cutlery out to lay the table and then burst into tears as I put one set back.

DS has a lovely bright room and was keen for us to leave so he could go and find the friends he had made at the London freshers event. He seemed very happy and relaxed.

I can't believe I have to do this 3 more times. I'm so excited for DS1 and the adventure that awaits, but my heart is heavy that one of my children has now left...I know he will be back for Xmas before I know it, but it's still hurting like mad right now.

Ah bless you Panic. I guess that is something I can see as a positive - I only have to do this once! I met a reassuring couple today who were dropping their fourth, and by now their eldest is back home 😅

DH just said to me, "do you think you will be as emotional by the time #4 leaves?" I hope I will, but as you say, maybe #1 will be back home by then 😂 and I'll be desperate for some peace and quiet.

@PermanentTemporary - I promise it gets easier (DS is neither the eldest nor the youngest of my offspring to go to university).

I found that keeping myself busy has helped, especially in the first few days after the first year drop-off.

Oh god, I have vicarious guilt at the mention of college parents. DD isn't going till next week -- will there be sad little College Orphans waiting for her all weekend?

I'd forgotten to remind DD of her parental duties until today. Oops. And now as she prepares to return tomorrow, I'm in two minds about even mentioning it now. Her own didn't exactly seek her out this time last year, though, and she only contacted them in advance at my prompting to ask about parking.

@Lyinginthebath that sounds like a tough year! Well done to you and ds!

it’s hammering down here - sympathies with anyone moving in today. Ds goes tomorrow but I’m used to the loss after boarding school 6th form so actually looking forward to tidying the house, not finding random clothes everywhere and having my kitchen back 😬

Weather is good for moving in in Oxford (as in not raining, just overcast) so am assuming that Cambridge is where it's unpleasant.

DD's freshers (she's a helper) don't arrive until tomorrow so we've been able to have a good couple of days milling around in Oxford with two brothers and then braving the Oxford Tube to go to London yesterday to see the others. A two hour queue followed by the bus breaking down ten minutes out of the bus station, followed by an hour of nothing , followed by a replacement bus. Got there eventually (very eventually) and got back in the small hours. On a go slow day today before going home tomorrow.

Hi, everyone. We will drive to O tomorrow. Has anyone taken out personal property insurance? Wondering if worthwhile. DC only has old bike, old laptop, old phone ñ, etc but replacing any with new (if lost or stole ) would be expensive. What have your DC done?

Inamuddle, we did for non-Oxbridge child (expensive musical instruments, but also living out after 1st year, large city centre initial halls of residence etc). We haven't for child at C - no high value items but also living in secure college site for 3 years etc. Some of the items are covered on our household insurance for out of home use anyway.

I hope you are right @Ironoaks. I know exactly how you feel @PermanentTemporary. We did drop of yesterday of dd in C yesterday. So we'll organised by college but I am going miss her so much. She has started making friends so that is a relief.

What we did learn yesterday was how bad traffic is in C trying to get to Tesco. Won't be doing that again!

Thank you, “cantkeepaway”. I will check our home policy.

@Inamuddle36 ds's college has a collective insurance policy covering quite a lot including bikes - it's included in his rent. Worth checking. They also do a bike security marking scheme which I've prodded him to find out about.

Feeling a bit better today. Saw a few friends yesterday evening and went to dh's grave to tell him all about it. Today out with dp whose children are a bit older - very helpful.

@cantkeepawayforever DD's things were covered under our contents insurance policy providing they are in college/uni owned accommodation with its own locked door (NFU Mutual policy). Definitely worth checking before taking anything else out. Both now have their own policies I think. Compare the Market & similar sites have student packages.

Permanent I typed a message, then it disappeared. It's hard to imagine how difficult this is for you. I'm sure your DS knows you're bursting with pride at how well he has done, even though it's tinged with sadness too. Xx

I think DD has contents insurance with Urban Jungle. She has a stand alone bike policy with Guardcover as DH has a bit of a thing for bikes.

@cosmiccat , was that Newmarket Road Tesco? Traffic in parts of C can be bad, but not everywhere. This Sunday is well known for being the worst day of the year near colleges, for obvious reasons.

Another time, maybe try Bar Hill or Fulbourn Tescos, depending where you’re driving from.

Unless you want to buy lots of household stuff I recommend Eddington Sainsbury’s, though. It’s not very big but has lots of free parking in their underground car park.

DS1 (C) and DS2 (O) both safely delivered at the weekend to their respective colleges for their final years. They seem really happy and excited to be back.

DS2 (O) has a palatial room which is more like a suite of rooms, with en suite and a walk-in wardrobe and I can see him struggling to fit back into his tiny room at home! DS1 (C) has a smaller room than last year - and once again not en suite - but aesthetically really nice and so far a very quiet, small corridor too. Both were out with friends on their first nights back, which is great.

The house is very quiet (I'm a solo parent) but I'm very busy catching up on work and domestic tasks and I'm sure the term will go by quickly. Good luck to those experiencing an empty house for the first time.

It's the next bit, next year, that I can't yet really comprehend - when perhaps one of both leave home forever, rather than these short terms and long vacations giving a nice rhythm to the years.