2017 seems so long ago, now .....

[Xenia]

Continuation of our previous thread.

I hope there was good news on the flat, Need. There is quite a shortage of properties to rent at present.

Many thanks for the updates.

Sounds an interesting 11 years, Stopyour, including the China part. Good luck to her with the teaching job applications. I was at a school in the countryside recently - grandparents' day (I went to one last year too) and it was lovely to see all those teachers interacting with the little children and their performance) although I still have 2 children living at home and I work full time so I am probably not in classic grandparent phase just yet......

I hope the 2017 group are doing fine all these years in. One of mine has been asked this week to stay longer (to end of year) in current secondment which is good news so that is probably going well.

It feels easier for me this year in July that they are both seconded elsewhere than last when I had to train, teach, supervise their work - not that I resented it but it was certainly more of an effort.

DS is doing ok, not really liking his grad job, it’s not quite what he wants with a not very supportive manager. He’s basically a having to be a project manager in a team of engineers, but needs to be more hands on practical on site as opposed to an office ( in construction).

as he’s not an engineer he’s not being helped to find a role.

but he has a great social life, is well paid in an inexpensive area (saving lots) with lots of running, climbing , socialising!

Thanks for the update Eve. I think it can take a few years to find the ight grad job and be settled in it so hopefully that will work out better over time.

Thank you Xenia - it’s narrowing down for him what he wants to eventually focus on.

Glad your 2 are doing well and they seem to be well on track for qualifying.

I love reading about everyone’s offspring’s adventures so many opportunities for them !

It has been an interesting time graduating with last term and exams at home in 2020 due to covid and what people did next including in the pandemic years and now beyond that. One of mine didn't have his gap year travelling and just got on with law studies with his twin so in a sense got further "ahead" but of course missed out on what might have happened from a year of exciting travel abroad.

I agree that these years can give them a chance to decide where they want concentrate with work. It is the same with lawyers' 2 years of training which mine are in - you try different legal areas often about 4 and then decide what you like (or where you can get a job).

My DD is enjoying life and her job, busy and learning a lot - but as it's a tiny company realistically she probably will need to move on in the next year or so which may be a very hard decision.

Hoping she'll get home for a long weekend sometime to do a bit of hillwalking.

One of mine didn't have his gap year travelling and just got on with law studies with his twin so in a sense got further "ahead" but of course missed out on what might have happened from a year of exciting travel abroad.

I don't think dd would have wanted a gap year, but she'd intended to do some travelling in her 3rd year long vacation - of course that was completely scuppered by lockdown. A relatively small gripe in the scheme of things, but it's a shame so many youngsters missed out in various ways.

Lovely to hear news of our impressive young people. DD starts work at the end of the month, but is spending the day with her dad at Wimbledon. 5 set match and it looks as if a Brit (Liam Brody) will win. She spends next week volunteering at a residential camp for disabled adults, something that started when she was at school needing experience for her med school application. Then, unfortunately, unless her friend comes up with something, she leaves to have a frantic search for somewhere to live.

Thanks for the updates. Finding somewhere to live is never easy. (Both my twins are still at home)

Son is half way through his IT grad training programme with Barclays and now not sure if it's what he wants!....not helped by poor mental health and isolation ( he only goes into office 1-2 times week and he's a pretty sociable/ gregarious guy)
Unlike his 2 sisters, ( who have both traveled extensively and worked abroad) he missed out on travel after graduation due to pandemic and also never go to go on the course fieldwork for his undergraduate degree in Geog/Environmental Science
So he's considering his options for next summer when he finishes ....travel for a while ( probably to either Australia or Canada) or do a related MSc in remote sensing/GIS as this was his area of research for his thesis and he really wants to do something more practical and relevant to his degree
He was so lucky to get this grad programme and it pays so well....but then it's no good if it's not what you want to do and at he now has some IT experience under his belt which will be of use in future
Guess dh and I won't be retiring just yet if he's going back to Uni!

@Stopyourhavering64, sorry to hear that the grad scheme hasn’t been as great as expected for your DS. I know of another young adult who also did not really enjoy the Barclays grad scheme (not IT) and has since gone into something else.

Stop, hopefully he can find something he likes more and finishing the scheme is wise so at least he has it on his CV for later. My twins are both enjoying their in-house legal department secondments in London. They work full time but work from home 2 days a week which seems a nice balance (and luckily and both get Friday afternoons as half days in the summer months - not something law firms do so they are very lucky).

Both have had a week abroad recently on holiday - one with girl friend to Croatia and the other with a friend to Portugal (and he just got back from 4 nights in Yorkshire with a friend - I hope her parents didn't mind 3 guests for all that time!).

We have a family holiday in early September including with the gorgeous one year old grandchild who just got back from her own holiday in Spain with her parents. I haven't been abroad since last June when the twins and I went to the Dominican Republic. I am going to plan a large family lunch in London for early next year when the twins qualify although my first choice of venue - Law Society (seemed very appropriate) is closed at weekends so I will find somewhere else. It will also be a kind of end of 40 years of being a paying parent - we paid 50% of our net salaries for full time childcare for baby no. 1 in 1984. So nothing change - still costs a fortune to pay someone to look after a baby full time in 2023 as in 1984.

It's a pity it's not suited him, @Stopyourhavering64 , but being paid well while getting probably generally useful experience/training rather than having to pay for it isn't a bad deal at least.

My dd is fine, the last two weekends has been doing long walks with overnight camp with a friend or two. The sheer energy of youth!

I haven't been on this thread for a while. DS who completed his MEng in Mechanical Engineering last year has at last got a good graduate job in a field he is interested in and and is moving to Derby. I have two younger ones (one still at school) and therefore have a few more years of offspring exams to deal with!

Well done to the mushroom son. Exam years certainly seem to be endless although the last of my children's cousins finished this term at school so school is over for this generation now in our family although my older grandchildren are at school already so it goes on....

Today and yesterday both twins are in the office on the same day so I can work silently at home (not that they are noisy but on the days they work from home which don't always coincide there is just a bit more going on at home). One has a friend coming over this evening. As my elderly neighbour used to say I will miss it once they have all gone.

Havering, I hope he works out something. All work experience at this stage is good experience, even if it is bad. It has been lovely hearing about the DC forging independent lives.

News here. We have an empty nest, at last. She set off last week with her tiny car crammed full with stuff. Today is the first day of work, slightly anticlimactic in that it is an on-line induction. Challenging as well as she does not have wifi yet, so will have to find a cafe or something. She still does not know what ward she is starting on. General medicine covers quite a lot. It is quite sad in that we will probably never have "a child" living at home again.

Then Saturday is her graduation. A mad dash to the airport on Friday night to catch a very late flight to Bristol, and then a packed morning schedule before her graduation ceremony in the afternoon. An early posh meal, then presumably she heads off with friends, some sleep and a flight back next day. I hope she is not too tired for her first day on a ward. The same will apply to all the medics, so I can't see Bristol being very popular with hospitals across the country. She was careful to ensure she was not starting on nights.

DH is celebrating having a child who is earning. DS has another year to go, but has an internship in Missouri this summer. It is hot. I hope that climate alone will encourage him back to London.

@Needmoresleep, how exciting for you all! An empty nest is my dream. DD has been earning for nearly two years, but is still living at home.

DD’s close friend (from same course as your DD) has also gone off to her new city!

A big step to get the empty nest - good luck to them both.
I think it will be a few years before the twins leave home not least because we live in outer London which is quite convenient for plenty of jobs.

In fact my son's friend is here for 2 nights and has worked from my house today too like my son so there is just about always one of them working from home most days now as they only have to be in the office 3 (sometimes only 2) days a week. However everyone is getting on fine so that's good.

I hope the Need daughter has a lovely graduation celebration. All exams for mine ended last year which removes the stress of waiting for results. Once they qualify next year as solicitors that will feel like a big step for me (and I will not be supporting them other than they will live at home).

Great to hear about everyone's ongoing successes and jobs whether from parental homes or in new flats of their own.

@Stopyourhavering64 - I hope your ds finds something that works for him. Even if he's giving up a good salary he's learnt so much about what type of job will be right for him. I agree the new world of working from home is great for us oldies well-established in our careers, but for our dc starting out they miss out on so much work culture, making friends, bonding over the photocopier etc if they don't work together in person. I'm sure working from home was what put paid to ds1's first grad job and made him decide to retrain.

@Needmoresleep I hope you have a fab time at your dd's graduation. It was ds's last week and we had a great time. He and his friends had planned a whole day of events for their families after the ceremony so we met lots of his friends and their parents. Dh and I didn't quite make it to the nightclub after the bar but apparently some brave parents did and even somebody's 81 year old grandma! Ds has started his induction too and officially working and earning -woohoo! - only to be faced with going on strike 2 weeks into the job. His first 3 shifts are on nights covering all the medical wards through the hospital and he admitted he is absolutely terrified. Try not to get ill in August if you can help it!!

Haff, that sounds great, though I am disappointed that you could not keep up with the 81 year old. A nice way for the graduands (a new word I have learned from the timetable) to celebrate the last weekend of freedom as well. I suspect that this will be a bit more low key in that Bristol had forgotten that medics started work that week and had initially scheduled it for a work day. Starting with nights sounds awful. DD kept an eagle eye out for the shift rota to ensure she was first to pick. She did not want a night shift in a new job after a hectic weekend.

I think we are having a drink with her new flatmate's parents. A sort of handover as they live where DD is working so effectively have a cuckoo in their nest whilst DD and her flatmate sort out the wifi and washing machine. In his enthusiasm DH bought a football shirt for a local football team, only to be told that the flatmate's dad is a keen supporter of the rival team. DH has conceded, but will be disappointed if DD removes the "Up the Cherries" sticker from her car.

I needed a hospital appointment and they originally offered me Monday. I pointed out it was F1 start day and they laughed, but then called me back offering me a cancellation.

The panic last night was that they were told that they needed to supply their own scrubs....in any colour. Cue DS discovering all sorts of day-glo versions and even some with some with dogs or horses on. All rejected. I have a feeling that a pair of the more exotic might make an appearance at Christmas.

Next summer is DS' fourth graduation. (More than enough.) The first two were fun as there were only nine on his UG course ,so we met everyone including tutors and other members of staff. The Masters course was larger but still small enough for a reception for just them. The American version will be interesting.

BTM, be careful what you wish for. It was sad to see DDs bedroom cleared out, and become just another room. DH is in the process of making it his wfh office.

@Haffdonga, that sounds like a fabulous celebration, and I am in awe of the grandma!
@Needmoresleep, I hope your DD and her friends have planned something similar for you!
I’m sure it will be a lovely day even if you don’t make it to a club!

I can’t imagine them letting us clear their stuff out of their rooms when they finally move out.

DS will definitely be here for the next 2 years anyway as he has been offered a Training contract at one of the firms he did an Internship with 🎉 We are so proud of him - coming from a state comp, with no lawyers in the family/friends. It somehow seems even more of an achievement than the degree!

@bigTillyMint huge congratulations to your ds on his training contract. It IS such an enormous achievement. Great news!

@bigTillyMint Well done. Training contracts are very hard to get (as we can see by the fact many, even from private schools with a lawyer parent - i.e. some of my children cannot get them - my twins are my trainees not by design but because they didn't get a TC elsewhere; and I applied to 139 firms despite going to private school before getting one and had 25 interviews in 1982. Your son has done very well indeed. (It is harder to get a TC at a good firm than to go to university and do the degree and law post grad by a long way).

My older son is staying - we brought him back after visiting his house at the weekend and had a nice day out - just the 3 boys and I - to some local places there - country house visit etc and their friend who stayed last week is back today for a night as the 4 are going to Oppenheimer at the cinema, so I have had a very quiet evening as it is a very long film. So 4 of us were working here from home today in separate rooms and my older son off work relaxing in another room. The Xenia "airbnb" and "Wework" free of charge office provision was back up and running as ever....although the lawyer daughter with baby does not come here now for her working from home days now the baby is toddling.

Some sad news to report here , my lovely DB as looked in an accident abroad last month so we are all reeling from the shock
Both my DS were pallbearers , v close to their uncle and DS1 had to take I pod leave for the funeral ( NHS junior doctor ) and DS2's new job would not give him leave to attend so he quit .
impulsive but in hindsight he was hating the new job so perhaps not the worst thing

Oh no, I'm so sorry @Carriemac . Sounds like you're right that leaving those heartless employers will be better long term for your DS2 but how awfully tough.