2017 seems so long ago, now .....

[Xenia]

Continuation of our previous thread.

Oh, so sorry to hear about your brother @Carriemac My condolences to your whole family. I'm sure it must makes things like jobs and annual leave feel completely meaningless.

@Carriemac I am so sorry to hear about your brother and the difficulties over time off. In the UK there is supposed to be unpaid leave for funerals but that is more for siblings and parents or grandparents not uncles. Even so most employers would grant unpaid leave. it sounds like your son's job was not great anyway so this may be a blessing in disguise which helped him decide to leave.

I’m so sorry to hear that @Carriemac Sending sympathy to you all.

How awful and what a shock. My condolences. It is strange that an employer, after going through a recruitment process, would make so little effort to retain. (Though I remember not being allowed a days compassionate leave for my grandfather's funeral, a prompt to start looking for another job.)

We think DD is fine. She tends to call when under stress or unhappy, so not hearing anything is good news. She finished her two days shadowing, and so has had two full days of being a real doctor. I am dying to hear how she is getting on, but I guess I am going to have to wait.

@Carriemac, so sorry for your loss, and the dreadful situations with leave.

So sorry to hear of your brother.

2 full days as a real doctor is a whole new world - good luck to her.

Good to hear your DD is doing well @Needmoresleep . DS has also just done his first ever shifts as a doctor (2 nights on call on medical wards) and he texted us quite dramatically after the second night to say ' Just had the worst night of my life so far . Of course he then promptly went home to sleep for the day and then on to a night out to socialise with the other new F1s so we've been waiting on tenterhooks to hear about it.
To be fair to ds it did sound pretty full on and quite traumatic. He said on the first night he'd literally walked in to the hand over meeting, was handed the bleep which went off as it was being given to him and from then on he didn't stop. The second night in particular there just seemed to be multiple emergencies all happening at the same time, so ds had to deal with incidents on his own while the more senior SHO supporting him was dealing with others. There were 2 situations that ended badly and although ds thinks he did everything he should have and could have and he has been reassured that he didn't make any mistakes, he's now agonising over whether he missed something or could have done more.
I guess he's had a bit of a baptism of fire to the very very harsh realities of being a junior doctor. He's hoping that after this it will make his day shifts feel straightforward. He'll definitely be on the picket lines next week!

I am sure he is doing his best which is all anyone can expect. Good for him for working so hard. When my father was required to live in the hospital in the 1950s - house officer or something - my parents had married (as my father's first degree was physics after which he then started 5 years of medicine so he was 3 years older than most and married) my mother used to have to sneak in through a window I think to see him.

I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. And that’s disgusting about DS 2'a work

So sorry to read about your brother @carriemac. Your ds definitely made the right decision, plenty more jobs to be had.

My condolences @Carriemac. My brother died very suddenly and unexpectedly so I well remember and understand the sense of shock which adds to the grief. Big hugs

So sorry to read about your brother @Carriemac
Very poor of your DS’ employer not to allow him leave

Yes, it puts everything else into perspective (like we have no water in our area -only a few months after we had none for 3 days and were being given bottle water and this is London not the back of beyond - we must be in a very unlucky area for lightening in effect to strike twice; add to that two sets of very very very slow 4 way traffic lights locally - I think it is school holidays so they pick this time to do major road things; had to take the twins' car for repair and collect yesterday and so much working from home - 3 days a week now for them; which is lovely in a way as I get to see more of them but also means quite a busy full home).

Xenia, I hope you have water.

It has been pretty much radio silence from DD. She had a couple of rough patches at University, then 18 months at home, and the two final years being on (quite dispersed) placements, so quite an odd experience. We saw a lot more of her than we would have expected, which was nice, but the packed car and the heap of recycling was a firm statement that she has left.

She is not alone in choosing a deanery which allows for work-hard play-hard, and that is what she seems to be doing. People seem friendly and the F1s seem to have an active social life. For a London girl things seem very cheap (Zoopla suggests you can buy a four bedroom house near her F2 placement for £65,000!) and she has already returned to Bristol for her graduation, a weekend in another city to see a sports event, and has plans to meet up with University friends, both for a ski trip and to see Taylor Swift.

She is currently in a small hospital in a very deprived area. They seem to be looked after, so got a full briefing on the history of the area, and the impact it has on population health. Their pages are triaged so the beeps are spread around. Today she starts her first night shifts which should be interesting. I got a bit carried away by a MN thread on bean to cup coffee machines and have ordered her one as a housewarming. She tends not to ask us for things, but agreed that good coffee at the flick of a switch would be useful.

Now to hope that she has a great time, but ultimately decides to settle in London. We still have my late mother's flat as probate during lockdown was so complicated, but spending time there has only served to convince me that central London is the place to stay/retire.

@Needmoresleep, it sounds very exciting and busy for your DD. And a totally different experience to those she has had this far in life.

We have also decided we want to stay in London. Just as well for the DC as they are still living with us, and want to stay in London too!

We could keep this thread going and you, me and Xenia could meet up and pay pensioner rates at matinees. Others, armed with their older people's rail passes, could join us.

I have it in my head to keep the thread going at least until January when the twins qualify as solicitors and hopefully get newly qualified jobs, but may be we will keep it going even longer.

Our water at the house came back on in the night (unlike the 3 days without it last year) so that was solved.

NMay be the Needmoresleep daughter is near where my parents grew up in Sunderland/County Durham where there are similar very cheap house prices. Good luck to her wherever she is.
My son met two old school friends last night, but I have not had a chance to get their news yet - one was a boy who did dentistry abroad rather than UK and is still on his course (or may be he just finished it and is now back in the UK).
One of my twins suggested to his boss at his secondment that he might stay a bit longer to end of year and he will hear about that in a couple of weeks so I hope that does go ahead. Whilst it has been lovely having them both as my trainee solicitors it is a lot easier now both are seconded elsewhere as I don't need to find and supervise work for them.

Most of us are seeing all my grandchildren next weekend which will be lovely although one child of mine is working and the other flies abroad on a hiking holiday the day before so won't be there. We did manage to get all 5 children together at Easter. It gets harder and harder now they all work and some are married with children.

We heard yesterday that the uni of Oxford place was confirmed.

Brilliant

Congratulations @bettbburg - here you go again!

Excellent news. The twins are our last and even their youngest cousin now has a place at university (results just out) so the entire family cohort has finished school now (other than the grandchildren - cycle has started again on that front).

Congratulations @bettbburg !

Dd has been home for a long weekend, pining for the northern hills so she's walked us off our feet. We booked a cottage in the exmoor region next month, the one bedroom place we've had the last 2 years wasn't available so we took a 2 bedroom and then it transpired dd has some holiday available this year so she's joining us... we'd better get a bit more hill walking in before then rather than the flatter walks we've slipped into of late!

She's had a bit of a trying time at work recently thanks to a contractor who was both incompetent and a blatant misogynist (didn't think women should be 'encouraged to have careers' ... wtf?) but fortunately he's been got rid of and replaced. All part of the learning process I suppose, though I can honestly say I've never come across anyone like that in my decades of working.

Congratulations bettburg. I also failed to congratulate BTM on her son getting a training contract. These seem really hard to get, though we shall see. DS is about to start his attempt to get on the first steps of an academic career. It is likely he will have to make as many applications as Xenia did all those years ago when she was applying for a training contract, though his will be world wide. The big hope is he gets lots of "fly-outs" to Europe so we see more of him.

DD seems to be thriving. I am not sure when the newness of it all wears off. She has survived a week of nights and now of working through the weekend. Her current hospital is in a particularly deprived part of a particularly deprived area, and she is shocked at the impact this has on patient health. She says she will need to adopt the local accent as many patients do not understand her clear RP accent. It should be interesting. First pay cheque soon. DH and I may go out and celebrate.

Good luck to all those with trying jobs and those making applications. We have 2 of my son's friends staying tonight (as ever) but they have gone out for the day today so it is not trouble. Also some of us including the twins and I are off on holiday abroad in a week which will be lovely, particularly as the gorgeous one year old will be with us and its parents. Son 1 will be staying at my house for a few days which is a good plan as he can keep an eye on it, bring in the post etc.

I mentally marked down 1 September as when the twins should start applications for jobs when they qualify as solicitors, but I think one is hoping for a maternity cover job offer from where his currently seconded so he will probably wait for that. The other one is also waiting to hear if he can stay on his secondment a bit longer until end of the year so once he hears about that that might be a good time for him to think about job hunting.

It always feels more like a new year for me in early September than 1 January due to the academic year starting although I suppose that wear off as this is our first year without courses/exams for the twins for years.