Durham University

[KingscoteStaff]

The continuation thread for those with DC at Durham, or applying to Durham, or alumni, or staff!

January 2022 finds our DC packing their big coats, checking the forecast for snow and wondering when Michaelmas actally is...?

Assemble!
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@GoldenRuby as JS is new then rooms are standardised and only two types - en-suite flats of 5-8 or townhouse two share bathroom 12 in each townhouse. Don’t get flat details until the day but know she’s in a flat with en-suite not townhouse - I prefer townhouse as more space to chill out in lounge areas.

We have got a time slot at 1:30 on Sunday. We have a two hour journey so easily doable in a day. DS has been given a shared room in St John’s and has been messaging his roommate. He’s travelling up from the West Country and has a slot on the Saturday.

@ByeByeBeebies oh that's good your DS has been put in touch with his room mate, helps to break the ice. The shared rooms we saw on an open day were huge.

@GoldenRuby My soon to be ex husband took DS to the open day. I haven’t been yet. We’re putting on the happy, together family front next weekend! Dreading it!

@ByeByeBeebies really hard for you - does your DS know it’s over between you two

Gosh @ByeByeBeebies that is tough. I'm sure your DS will appreciate you both being there.

@Fruitygal and @GoldenRuby Yes DS knows. Thank you for the positive vibes.

@ByeByeBeebies hes going to have fun at Durham which hopefully will make things a little easier for you

@WorriedAboutDurham how is your son now? How are you? I am late to this but I honestly think Durham without the whole student cohort feels very different than when it is buzzing with them. Freshers feels good because it is mainly just them and a few freps but then come October weekend the rest will arrive and all be heading to lectures.

It is completely normal for students to have imposter syndrome either for sports or for academic stuff especially at high ranking universities. There are the really competitive sports levels and then the we just play for fun levels and everything in between. Ds shared a flat with a kid who had a contract to play rugby but his parents wanted him to have a back up for life in case of injury. He didn't care about his degree at all just the rugby playing element, well and the social element too.

If your child has to carry a laptop at all then a waterproof rucksack cover is a must. Ds has one that has straps to keep it clipped on to his bag. They had them in school too for walking in rain to protect their books. Also ensure they lock their rooms when they leave them even to pop to the kitchen. You have no idea who you are sharing a corridor with or who they bring into the flat with them.

Good luck to everyone moving them in. Ds had a great first year. Very much looking forward to his second year.

Good luck to all moving in!

It is completely normal for students to have imposter syndrome either for sports or for academic stuff especially at high ranking universities.

Totally. They go from being academically at the top of their school, often with grade 8 in an instrument and playing for a good sports team at home and find that among their flatmates there's one who three years ago wrote a full orchestra piece that was performed at the Albert Hall, another who is international sports person and another who wrote a paper on a medical procedure which was published by the BMJ aged 12 and to add to it they're now an also-ran on the very academic subject they have always been top notch.

Yes, I'm being slightly tongue in cheek here, but that can be how it feels.

Lol yes we are working class and DS has chosen a hill college. Today he finally received a list of students names that he will be sharing with (nothing like leaving it to the last minute!!) Some of them in his group have set up a chat and we encouraged him to join it. He has messaged in the chat with his accommodation group but he says it’s extremely quiet between them all.

We have been watching repeats of Fresh meat recently at home and we (DH and I) have been winding DS up that at Durham they will all be like JP and his friends (fingers crossed some in his accommodation and on his course will be a little bit more down to earth than this and also not too Vod like).

Is it a townhouse @Wordlewobble -I’m impressed he’s engaging ……. DD chatting away to her flat mates - still two of the boys missing in action on the flat chat .. 😂 …. DD says they probably haven’t read their emails and are they still wandering around in ikea with stressed mums or on their Xboxes surrounded by piles of clothes not packing. She’s had brothers go to uni … what more can I say …. She feels every mum’s pain 😂

DS has reappeared! But no time for emails. Gone to tennis.

@Wordlewobble Well done to your DS. Mine has not engaged with any social media whatsoever. He just prefers to wait for face to face. I think he will be a bit more sociable then.

@Fruitygal Your DD is fab! No clothes packed here. Apparently I'd like to help on my half-day tomorrow.

@EwwSprouts In the last 6 days .DD had a leaving /birthday meal on Sunday with one group of friends, before that clubbing Thursday....and then two birthday parties in one night Friday... and DD drove into London with a bestie yesterday for dinner and a musical ......she's hosting a dinner party tomorrow night for a different bunch of friends ...DH is calling it the last supper ....seeing lifetime bestie who lives locally on Friday am for final time before we leave to drive up. I think she may sleep on the way up north ......

DD went to a charity rugby day a few weeks back to support her friend doing the refreshments ...and realised she needs to understand all forms of rugby as was unaware of sevens ....I feel I may have failed as a parent 😂....she's You Tubed the hell out of it since ......so proud !😂Think she might be ready for uni sport

@Wordlewobble DD has friends from all kinds of schools and countries ...her school attracts kids from a vast range of backgrounds .........but not had a friend from Stowe like JP yet ...😂still time

@EwwSprouts We have a large wipeboard with things to do and text lists for DH and DD for final bits of picking up things ...as I am super busy at work until tomorrow night........good luck with your half day

@Fruitygal What a social whirl! Good stamina preparation :) I've been trying to persuade DS to trial lacrosse as to me it's a mix of hockey & tennis but he's convinced everyone will have played previously. I think that's unlikely given how few schools offer it. He spent most of school trying not to play rugby.

We received the credit card bill for my son's last four weeks in Durham today. Ouch. Who knew being in a hill college meant a large Uber and food delivery bill? (I can't remember ever getting a taxi when I was in college).

His allowance for the rest of the term has been given and the additional credit card decommissioned. Not before time. While the hockey preseason has been fun, I think my son is looking forward to everyone arriving now. Hope all your journeys go well.

@EwwSprouts think given the mix is 49% private and 12% grammar there will be a fair amount of lacrosse. DD was at a grammar and lacrosse wasn’t offered but girls joining in sixth form from local private schools had been playing lacrosse - a friends daughter at Loughborough hadn’t played before starting there but was a strong hockey player like your DS and got into one of the lacrosse teams and was loving it last time I heard

Think DS sounds a bit worried about his flat/townhouse group now as some in his chat seem very vocal and are speaking in a way he isn’t used to (with a lot of slang words/expressions he doesn’t use and hasn’t come across before…yet) and a lot of chat is punctuated with OTT wows or similar.

Fortunately, not everyone has joined the chat yet so fingers crossed he won’t feel totally out of it when he meets them all in person.

Think DS sounds a bit worried about his flat/townhouse group now as some in his chat seem very vocal and are speaking in a way he isn’t used to (with a lot of slang words/expressions he doesn’t use and hasn’t come across before…yet) and a lot of chat is punctuated with OTT wows or similar.

I feel his pain. At times I wonder if my teenagers are speaking my language. Also the copious use of abbreviations in texts which I have to Google.

Social media is a sod for potentially excluding those who don’t feel au fait with the tone of the chats and I bet your DS isn’t the only one feeling a bit .
On the plus side, it gives them a chance to make connections beforehand but not everyone wants to do that. I’m sure when he gets there they will all be at square one in terms of making new friends etc. DS was, last year - he was cagey about whether he had joined the chats at all, but got on with his flatmates brilliantly when he was there (and is sharing this year with most of them). He is definitely not Mr Party Pants

All the best for those seeing their dc off to Durham this week! Seems strange to be waiting as Mum Of A 2nd Year until next week.

Thanks we’d encouraged him to join the chat and maybe we should have left him to wait to meet them all in person as he wanted.

DS is normally pretty sociable and chatty and has a couple of fairly large friendship groups from school. But have read some of the sad posts on what I wish i had known FB group about a lot of sad students all holed up in their student bedroom and barely leaving their rooms I really worry about this group of vulnerable students with covid and lockdown as at least at home they can venture out of their rooms for a bit of company when they fancy, lots of snacks and or a conversation etc.

It was still all Masks and Testing last year, so should be much better this year.
There are people looking out for the students who may be finding it tough. Tea And Toast evening chats etc. The pastoral side was very good, I have to say, most universities have improved that side of their offer in recent years and the College system makes it smaller and more friendly.

Good luck to everyone travelling this weekend. Dd moves into st John's on Saturday at 12, her bf from school at 12.30. She is ridiculously excited. Not enough to actually pack, just keeps chattering at me about what she is going to do when she gets there.

Need to pick the last few bits she needs today, she's working tonight then says she is packing friday. Have warned her I want everything downstairs by tomorrow evening ready to load and go. Guaranteed Saturday morning will be spent ferrying her stuff downstairs.

She's not the most organised or forward thinking about domestic stuff. She definitely needs uni to encourage some independence from me organising her. Academically she's ultra organised. I'm also at uni and she is scandalised that i haven't done my reading list over summer, or organised folders, planners and highlighters yet.

@HighlandCowbag there is a good chance we will bump into you - we are St Johns at 1130. Has your DD been on the social media chats? If so she may have been talking with my DD - a few people she has been talking to are arriving just after us...