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Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

994 replies

DadDadDad · 09/11/2021 07:25

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

OP posts:
mutterphore · 04/02/2022 19:41

@OYBBK, glad to hear your DD has been accepted for what she wants to do next. That's great.

Thankfully, neither DS1 nor DS2 has been adversely affected by Covid this term still, although each has had some Zoom tutorials/ supervisions either because the supervisor tested positive or the tutor is vulnerable.

I hope everyone's DC is enjoying this term and that those who were struggling are finding that things are working out better.

DS1 and DS2 are really enjoying life and the luxury of college accommodation by comparison with home! DS2 even has his own en suite this year. It's like a posh hotel! Meanwhile, I'm very excited that after an eight month search for an available company and long wait for builders, I may have found some to do works to repair all the damp in the house and by summer, (as they still have a very long waiting list) have installed a shower at last. However, it does mean when DCs return across Easter, they'll still have to cope with basic facilities!

Malbecfan · 04/02/2022 20:14

Sorry @OhYouBadBadKitten I missed your post about your DD. That's great news.

@mutterphore one of the downsides of Oxbridge is that our DC have never had to slum it as their college facilities are so good. Way back in the late 80s, I shared a small terraced house in Northern England with 2 friends. The house shared a back wall with the house behind (a feature of that city) so there was only one door. There were slugs on the lounge carpet but it only cost £17 a week. Those sort of experiences meant I really appreciated being back home. Maybe your renovations are going to show your DSs what my generation had to put up with Wink

I just texted DD1. She is an a strange formal this evening with one of her schoolfriends as the original ticket holder has Covid. DD is moaning about her marking workload - the irony is that as a teacher, mine is never-ending - so I have no sympathy. I offered to take her to the football this weekend but she declined as her dance competition is on the horizon. She wishes that Oxford took part as then she might get a blue...

Ironoaks · 04/02/2022 21:15

DS has his halfway hall next week. That seems to have gone very quickly.

HewasH2O · 04/02/2022 21:20

DD's half way hall is postponed due to Covid.

beeswain · 05/02/2022 14:30

What a shame @HewasH2O. DS is working his college ball week after next and will also be upset if it is cancelled. He says Covid is rampant in his college though Sad

JulesJules · 05/02/2022 19:30

D1 also has half way hall this week, so fingers crossed it won't be cancelled. Her college have been very strict in general, no bops etc.

Greatauntdymphna · 05/02/2022 22:40

DD has covid (C). She says a lot of people in her college have had it this term but have all been asymptomatic (the ones she knows anyway). They had not had any cases she knew of last term but her DOS had said at the start of this term that they expected it to run riot for the first 3-4 weeks and then settle down. She said that the welfare team have been incredibly supportive and kind, making sure she has friends getting her food/books etc.

JulesJules · 06/02/2022 08:17

Love your username Greatauntdymphna

Greatauntdymphna · 06/02/2022 11:13

@JulesJules

Love your username Greatauntdymphna
Thank you. I'm a very frequent name changer as paranoid that someone will recognise me on here but I like this one too!
pantjog · 06/02/2022 18:59

I could cry. Have just arrived in O to visit DD1 and have a pub supper with her. She texts to say that she has tested positive 😥
DS1 also positive, and still struggling badly with his work. Misery.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 06/02/2022 19:03

oh no pantjog Sad That is misery. I think a little cry is perfectly reasonable.

FlyingSquid · 06/02/2022 19:32

Same here, Pantjog, though at least we knew before we got here that our planned weekend was turning into ‘buy emergency supplies of instant couscous, grapes and tissues, chuck in through door while masked’.

Have promised to go back in a couple of weeks for a better weekend.

Is your son also at O? It’s rough trying to support-without-taking-over when they’re really struggling.

Ironoaks · 06/02/2022 19:35

@pantjog - I think I'd want to cry too.

mutterphore · 06/02/2022 20:01

@Pantjog, I'm so sorry to hear this! That's awful. Poor you and poor DD1. Also sorry to hear that your DS1 is still having a tough time and is Covid positive too. I hope both of them recover very quickly and your DS1's college can cut him some slack. See if you can treat yourself a bit whilst in Oxford and you can always go back again and visit in a few weeks time I hope.

@FlyingSquid - oh no! Your DC as well! It's just not fair! It's incredibly difficult to see our DCs suffering and not be able top do anything to change the situation.

Sounds like Covid is really doing the rounds. At least those who've had it recently should be immune for a bit for the rest of term. I hope colleges are being supportive and making lots of allowances.

FlyingSquid · 06/02/2022 20:10

Her college is NOT doing well at getting meals to the sick so far.

mutterphore · 06/02/2022 20:26

@FlyingSquid, that's not good enough! I was furious in DS1's first term (Cambridge) when he was in isolation (not positive but in the era when you were locked up for 14 days if you just happened to be counted as the same household even if you'd not been anywhere near the Covid positive person or shared facilities) and the college refused to provide any breakfast and their idea of lunch or supper was a small pack of dried up sandwiches - you just got what they provided regardless - and a packet of crisps. That would normally be a small snack alongside 3 or 4 square meals for my DCs.

In the end, I drove to his college and dropped off a food parcel as he obviously also wasn't allowed out to buy anymore food and not had he yet made friends (only 2 weeks in to starting) to buy food for him. In any case, at one point, the entire first year accommodation was all in isolation. Very poor show!

By this time, surely there's no excuse at all for any college not to have a streamlined system of support for anyone in isolation - not just food but also regular checking in to see how students are faring.

goodbyestranger · 06/02/2022 21:24

That is really bad, not sorting essential supplies.

Very sorry to hear no supper with DD1 pantjog and esp about your poor DS1.

FlyingSquid · 06/02/2022 21:42

Yes, I’m somewhat fuming that nearly two years down the line, they aren’t getting three daily meals to students if they test positive ‘too late in the day’ to order that day’s meals, or on a day when only formal hall is happening, or at a weekend when there is only brunch, or if their attempted delivery went to a puzzled student on a different staircase - DD has had, or heard of, all of those this week!

goodbyestranger · 06/02/2022 21:49

Definitely not good enough FlyingSquid.

DD4 appeared to be able to cook in the kitchen and friends got her stuff from Tesco. Arrangements seem to be very haphazard. But since so few are actually having symptoms it really puzzles me why we're bothering with all the isolation nonsense.

pantjog · 06/02/2022 22:10

Thanks, all.
@FlyingSquid DS1 is at C.

Like @goodbyestranger I can't believe that anyone is still required to isolate. DD hasn't got symptoms. She will now be missing some much-anticipated events. She's fed up and miserable and I don't blame her. She's also triple jabbed as are all her friends.

FlyingSquid · 06/02/2022 22:13

DD has been pretty unwell (and was feeling rough even before her test turned positive). If everyone else has sailed through it, I’m hoping her tutors believe her, as she really hasn’t been up to doing any work for a few days and is exhausted still.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 06/02/2022 22:29

I know teens who are having a rough time with it Squid, it's not just your dd.

Pepermintea · 06/02/2022 22:41

@pantjog sorry about your sad Oxford trip and also that your DS is still struggling at C. I really hope that he gets some useful help.

I've decided that it's not worth trying to visit DS in O as we are having a second attempt to fly visit DHs parents so we need to stay healthy. I think DS will probably be happy with that as I think the visits are mainly for my benefit!

It really seems to vary how ill anyone of any age gets with covid. I hope that your DD feels better soon @FlyingSquid and that her college steps up to get food to her

Chilldonaldchill · 06/02/2022 23:00

I'm a doctor and - whilst things are several thousand times better than this time last year - it's still quite bad for a lot of people with covid. Now most of those are unvaccinated (latest data I think is 17 times more likely to be admitted and a higher discrepancy than that for ITU admissions - and frankly I have no sympathy for them) but not all by any means. We've had a number of very elderly or frail with significant covid problems in the last few weeks. Allowing positive people to roam free would mean that CEV people were forced to hide themselves away again. I know they can have monoclonal antibodies now but I'm not sure that the data is out there yet to show that that means that they can ignore their own risks.
Certainly it seems that most students are triple vacced but I'm not sure we're yet at the stage where that means we can afford for them not to isolate. There may well be vulnerable staff and students that they would be in contact with and - with no isolation - for longer periods whilst their viral loads are high therefore exposing them to much higher risk.
(And my dc currently has covid, had been reasonably unwell and is isolating - albeit with good support from her college - and we also missed out on a trip to visit. Luckily she has enough awareness from conversations with me to understand why she needs to isolate and that she is potentially protecting the most vulnerable by doing so).

pantjog · 06/02/2022 23:16

Don’t want to start a bun fight about covid. DH also a doctor FWIW.

Sorry your DD is poorly with it @FlyingSquid. It’s so strange how some get it, some don’t, some badly and some asymptomatic.

We needed to eat even without DD. Can recommend The Rickety Press in Jericho for nice burgers/pizzas, quirky interior and friendly staff. Had DD on video call for part of it and delivered her a takeaway. Thankfully her household are cooking for the invalids so they are sorted as long as more of them don’t succumb…