Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

[DadDadDad]

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

@Ironoaks

We dropped DS off today for Lent term. He forgot to pack his D&D dice, but says that friends will lend him some for now, and we'll bring them when we visit next month.

Ha! We dropped S2 off for Lent term on Saturday... he forgot to pack his D&D dice

I spend my life posting forgotten items or organising Amazon deliveries for DS1!

@merryhouse - let's hope someone in Cambridge remembered to bring some! DS's first game was scheduled for yesterday. He has at least three sets, but all of them are here.

@DadDadDad, about careers after university, it's getting close now isn't it, with Halfway Halls being arranged? I can't believe how quickly time rushes on. DS1 and DS2 have an idea of a career path and so have attended several careers events related to that - both in person where possible and also online. These have been run by various companies/firms 'selling' their company to potential applicants. DS2 has also done tons of applications for internships but not secured anything as yet although has got to the second round with a few, recently. Not all of these have been for the career path he's mostly considered as he thinks he wants to try out some other possibilities too.

However, neither is completely sold on the idea of this specific career path and are already talking about some kind of 'portfolio' career, self-employment, mixing an academic career with a professional career (they seem to know some current academics who are doing this). I think DS2 particularly would suit an academic career but he feels he needs a better paying job to start with.

I think the more information they can gather at this stage, the better, especially from recent recruits to whatever career, who can tell them more precisely what a typical day might involve in that job. However, it's really hard for any of them to know what they might enjoy until they try it. Perhaps your DS could just try to contact several possible employers and see if he can connect with recent, young recruits?

DS2 is coming towards the end of his training contract at a Magic Circle law firm and a couple of weeks ago went to a recruiting dinner in Oxford but it was exclusively for those interested from his old college (a central, old one). I don't think attending these dinners helps in any way towards securing a training contract or even a vac scheme but it is a chance for students to hear relatively informally and truthfully what the job entails.

Grateful for the shipping link a few pages ago, DD has left a key box of kitchen kit at home :(
@DadDadDad, re future careers, DD now seriously looking at Civil Service ( as I thought she would all along) after a number of wine/dine/canape events from Investment Banks and Law Firms left her cold ( if fed). She’s having half way through degree and where am I headed thoughts like your DS.

Not Oxbridge specific, but it's in the news today that MenB cases are rising rapidly in students around the country. DD's cousin was hospitalised with it, so we encouraged DD to be vaccinated in 6th form Students can only get the MenB vaccine privately unfortunately.

It's worth being careful to have time to relax and unwind in the second year long vac, and not fill it up with back to back internships, so that the student doesn't go forward to the final year whacked out, or at least not fresh.

My feeling is that there's huge peer pressure to bag internships. So many of the DCs' friends have gone to eg McKinsey/ JP Morgan/ Linklaters etc and then decided very much not for them. There's a whole lemming thing going on at Oxbridge, which can be dangerous. That said, I don't think going to any of these high profile places short term will do any actual harm, and I guess there's no hurry for these young people to find their niche. But keeping healthy and getting a reasonable degree is fairly key, for their future.

Incidentally the DS I referred to above, at arguably the best of the Magic Circle firms, didn't apply for a single vac scheme while at Oxford. He did several the December after he graduated and got offers from all. These things can be overrated and applying while doing an Oxbridge degree can be stressful. I've definitely always counselled my own DC that time is on their side, and not to hurry in the wrong direction.

The same DS wanted a year out anyway, got his offers, went to Mustique for several months to tutor a primary aged child (not taxing intellectually and very social), then went to South America on his earnings, returning in time for a recovery period at home in Devon and then to London to start the law conversion course (at the firms expense). I think he was in a much better place to start the slog than he would have been applying frenetically during his degree and then going straight on. Each to their own of course but with each DC I hear of and see this pressure.

@HewasH20, just wanted to thank you for the heads up about meningitis B cases rising....I have been thinking for a while about trying to organise private vaccination for both my DCs (especially DD1 who is the Oxford student) - you have spurred me into action tonight and I've managed to book DD1's first vaccine at Boots Pharmacy.

Goodness it’s expensive - I’ve just checked out the cost. Not sure how bad I should feel or which DC should have it, if any. Is this correct, £155?

@goodbye, it's £110 per dose at Boots; two doses required so £220 total - agree very costly!

Good grief, I just googled the Men B vaccine, 2-3 doses required (how do they decide) and it's £218-£327. No idea what the situation is in Oxford, but I think D1 will have to risk it. I wonder why Men B isn't part of the MenACWY vaccine?

My policy with vaccines has always been simply to get whatever is recommended at the time in whatever country we were living it. That required the least thinking or judgment on my part. I've never bought in an additional vaccine. But it does instantly make me feel a bit mean or neglectful not to do it. And I'm not sure that if I do it for DD4 I shouldn't do it for DS4 and indeed all the other DC. It really is very pricey. I think I'll stick to my guns and just hope it doesn't come their way.

Thanks for letting me know though MJB.

No worries @goodbyestranger. This is the first time I've paid for anything healthcare-related!

This link may be useful re. signs and symptoms of meningitis:

www.gov.uk/government/news/recent-increase-in-group-b-meningococcal-disease-among-teenagers-and-young-adults

They are giving it to toddlers. I think a lot of research projects were giving it away 3-5 years ago.

it's £110 per dose at Boots; two doses required so £220 total

OMG - seeing the post about MenB yesterday, I WhatsApped the DC and suggested they got it. I was about to add that I'd pay for it, thinking it might be £25 or something... Thank goodness I didn't Maybe I'll just send them the gov link...

@JulesJules, I'd also like to know why MenB isn't included in the MenACWY vaccine.

Hi All, this NHS page explains that the Men B vaccine wasn’t licensed in the uk until 2015, so unfortunately our lot missed out on it.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/meningitis-b-vaccine/

There was a lot of publicity in Bristol a few years back around getting young people vaccinated because of a family who lost their son to MenB and then went on to set up a charity to raise research money and awareness. We got DS vaccinated privately in 2018 as a direct result of their campaign and I’m still grateful to that family.

@LaundryFairy we did the same thing following the boy's death (Ryan Bresnahan). He was 17 I think and died within an hour of feeling ill. His mum threw herself into fund raising and raising awareness. When I took DC to be vaccinated in Boots last summer they told me that a local boy had died a couple of years ago of Men B at Boardmasters festival.
It is annoying our kids missed out on it via the NHS and it's so expensive to have it done privately.

Yes, @cornishcornettos, that was the boy and family - so heartbreaking for the parents.

I know that NICE / JCVI has to balance cost and benefit when making vaccination recommendations, but it does rather feel that young people who missed out on the jab have been unfairly ignored. Especially when it becomes a case of needing to go private to be protected, which the majority of families simply can’t afford.

I'm pretty sure DD got a meningitis vaccine at the GPs before heading to C but I can't remember whether it was MenB or MenC (bad mother that I am). We definitely didn't pay anything for it. I have no idea about DD2 but will check with her when she returns from her new job later. I know she's not O/C but I posted about her early in December. She's been home with us for almost 6 weeks and is managing to go to bed early, do her course online, then sleep again. A local cafe put up a notice saying they needed staff. I photographed it, passed it to DD2 who called them and she is now on her 2nd shift. If it works out for her, she's saving on accommodation and food AND earning. She'll be treating me down the pub I hope!