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Original poster

Oxford / Cambridge - current students support / chat thread

994 replies

DadDadDad · 09/11/2021 07:25

Continuing a thread for anyone who wants to talk about their sons' and daughters' experience being a student in Oxford or Cambridge. (Or nephews, granddaughters, sisters, uncles - or if you or they have now graduated but you want to share your thoughts - all are welcome!)

I have a DS in his second year at Oxford, studying a small humanity in a tiny college.

Over to you...

OP posts:
FlyingSquid · 04/12/2021 16:09

Oh no! All those bright kids and they still get caught out by the latest COVID rules (could totally see that happening to DD).

SnapSnapDragon · 04/12/2021 18:11

DS's iPhone appears to be in the French Alps and that's the last time I'm checking. I shall have my head buried in the sand for the next week. Will try not to worry that he has a major piece of work due next week that he hasn't started finished. He says he'll be working in the evenings...

hivemindneeded · 04/12/2021 21:26

@Malbecfan - I think I'd encourage her to stay where she is. Much as Covid has done its best to wreck this, a key aspect of student life is socialising, meeting different kinds of people, widening your network and learning to live independently. DS2 was supposed to be on a year abroad this year and it got cancelled due to Covid. He's actually having a pretty good time in his uni town and feels like his friendships have really deepened which can't happen if she comes home.

Fingers crossed for @SandyBayley's DC's interview.

Sunndowne · 05/12/2021 09:14

Dear malbecfan, just listen to your DD as you are doing. She should eventually be able to make a decision herself and find the silver linings once her deep disappointment abates.
So tough! FlowersFlowers

Unescorted · 05/12/2021 09:50

DD is back home.

I picked her up yesterday - she had not done much packing and none of the communal areas had been cleaned out before people went off on the ski trip . Apparently it was bonkers with everyone trying to get covid tests done, parents picking up car loads of things and general getting ready to go away. In the melee the less desirable things were left for the ones not going to do. The fridge was a biological warfare laboratory, the washing up pile was nearly given its own postcode, and we filled 2 bin bags of rubbish from the bathrooms. Apparently it was the same in the other stairways in DD's college and replicated across other colleges as well. So if you kids are on the ski trip they owe their friends a very big thank you for preventing scout fines.

DahliaMacNamara · 05/12/2021 11:25

Oh, Christ. Thanks for the alert re bin bags. I haven't visited during term time, so in my mind it's this vast pristine room with DD's belongings sitting sparsely in the middle, but of course there will be crap to clear up and out. DH is picking her up himself, so I won't have to witness the carnage.

Ironoaks · 05/12/2021 14:43

DS categorised his belongings into things he wanted to bring home for the vacation and things he won't need until next term. When we arrived he had already neatly packed the second category into his storage cupboard, so there wasn't too much to bring home.

Let's hope we don't get a repeat of last Christmas, and he is allowed to go back there in mid-January.

He has handed in this term's lab report, and is up to date on everything apart from one postponed supervision (supervisor was away last week), which he'll hopefully get remotely.

pantjog · 05/12/2021 20:48

@Malbecfan, I would be steering DD to staying in her uni city. Then she can have some semblance of a student life. Being at home could potentially be really depressing. Nothing personal -- this would be the case for anyone.

DD1 now happily home. DD2 deep in preparation for her Oxford interview tomorrow. Eeek!

SandyBayley · 05/12/2021 20:52

Best of luck to mini @pantjog ! Mini SB has her first interview on Friday. She made us sort out our spare room / study so she has a 'good' place for it, she can be quite fierce at times!

I'm picking DS1 up on Tuesday, he is really excited about the DD's interview and very kindly arranged for one of his Medic friends to talk to her. He can be very sweet sometimes.

pantjog · 05/12/2021 20:59

Thanks @SandyBayley, and likewise! DD2 has insisted on doing the interview on the main family computer because it's nearest the printer, so the rest of us are banished...

Unescorted · 06/12/2021 00:10

Depressingly 2of DDs friends have come down with COVID. They have also been sent an email saying that there have been cases of Omicron in the collegiate population and they were at the Oxmas ball. So far DD is neg. and not classed as a close contact.

HewasH2O · 06/12/2021 08:22

I came up to O yesterday as I managed together DD & I tickets for the Christmas lights show at Blenheim. It was well worth a trip & overnight stay.

She has a long lease, so she found the scouts muttering darkly on Saturday, as they cleared up after those leaving by 10am.

hivemindneeded · 06/12/2021 09:55

DS, now in second year at Oxford won't be home until 15th. has a private house share and apparently there is much socialising happening on ce the slog of term time is over. I am glad he's enjoying himself but got a little pang when I saw his friend already home last weekend. Another week and a half for us before we go to collect him.

mutterphore · 06/12/2021 11:07

DS1 (C) and DS2 (O) are now back at home and it's so lovely having them here again! Both seem happy and well and are already looking forward to next term and will go back early but are also happy to be home. So that feels the best way for them to be.

Good luck to @SandyBayley's DD and @Pantjog's DD2 for their pending interviews. I hope that whatever happens, they feel they were given the opportunity to show themselves at their best.

@Malbecfan, I hope your DD reaches the right decision for her about whether or not to come home for the next two terms or stay away. I can see pros and cons of either decision.

merryhouse · 06/12/2021 18:52

Home! (Eventually... A1 was not a good place today)

S2 has already gone out to see The Girlfriend. He plans to have a week off work and catch up on sleep. Apparently the two lectures he hasn't watched yet are about next term's supervisions so he reckons it's better to leave them till later, though he does have mocks to prepare for too...

S1 seems the same as ever. He wasn't at the dinner on Saturday because he was singing at a Finalists' Formal; so he left cooking instructions and turned up for pudding. Sunday he was due to ring a quarter and then sing in the Eagle.

SandyBayley · 07/12/2021 19:05

I have arrived in Oxford to pick up DS1 and he is in the pub! I did tell him 7.00. He did this when I picked him up in the summer. That time he was quite tiddly and wanted a singalong session in the car all the way back to London.

HewasH2O · 07/12/2021 19:25

Has he started to tell you he loves you, hic, yet Sandy?

SandyBayley · 07/12/2021 19:43

I got a sloppy kiss @HewasH2O 😂

HewasH2O · 07/12/2021 19:45

Are you sure that wasn't the dog?

Malbecfan · 07/12/2021 19:49

PMSL @SandyBayley. That's great. I don't think either DD would ever do that to me because I am miserable enough to drive off without them. I can also drink them and DH under the table - my liver is possibly my best trained organ.

Update on DD2: she has decided that she will be spending the next 2 terms with us. I put all your very good points to her, and she acknowledges that she will be missing out on student life, but due to the 2am starts now, she is hardly living it up as it is. With us, she will be saving a small fortune in rent. I told her that I would happily take her to uni-city for long weekends and she was delighted. Her friends think it's the right call too. By this time next week, she should be back here. By this time in a fortnight, so should DD1. I'd better resume the great house sort-out.

pantjog · 07/12/2021 21:12

DS has just got his end of term reports. They make depressing reading. He has missed so much work they are unable to assess his progress; the one supervisor that did marked him “unsatisfactory”. So dispiriting for him. I really don’t know whether he’ll be able to catch up over the vac.

SandyBayley · 07/12/2021 21:52

Back home and DS1 now working his way through the fridge. Sounds like he has had a good term and his tutors are pleased. He even touched the giddy heights of a first standard in one (just one) tutorial.

Sorry to hear your DS is still struggling @pantjog - he needs a proper rest this vac but it sounds like he needs to work as well. Really difficult to know how to strike the balance.

It's an odd experience knowing what Oxbridge student life involves and how much work and stress can be involved but still rooting for the sibling to get a place. I hope DD succeeds but I do worry about what might lie ahead for her....

pantjog · 07/12/2021 22:11

Exactly this sandy.

cornishcornettos · 08/12/2021 09:17

@pantjog I'm sorry to hear this. I expect my son will be the same as he has struggled to keep up, though he hasn't mentioned reports but he's very secretive with that sort of thing. Is this something they all receive? (He's a fresher at O)

FlyingSquid · 08/12/2021 11:58

DD was surprised to find that 'a report' existed, and now that she's looked, she's not sayin'.

In fact, I think she was surprised by the entire existence of the system/platform/whatever on which the report was available. Wonder what other information might not have reached her?

It's been a hard term and she has a lot of catching up to do, but she does at least want to catch up and go back, which wasn't always a given.

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