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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

DD moving into halls

74 replies

AbsolutelySure · 29/08/2021 15:31

I have no experience of this, we get 1.5 hours to drop off. What is the norm? Do I help carry stuff up to her room and leave her to sort everything out herself or do I help her move in and unpack? I honestly have no idea what is the thing to do.

OP posts:

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 29/08/2021 15:33

following for exactly the same reasons!

Tee20x · 29/08/2021 15:34

When my parents dropped me off, they helped me with things up to my room & then left shortly after. I then met them in town and we had something to eat.

cptartapp · 29/08/2021 15:34

And here!

Original poster

AbsolutelySure · 29/08/2021 15:44

I've just found https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1036895&page=2 which has put my mind at rest. Two weeks and counting

OP posts:

Boulshired · 29/08/2021 15:46

When DS moved in there were 2nd and 3rd years who helped, well they just scooped up all belongings and took them to the rooms. You basically got about half an hour and the encouraged to move on and leave them to it. Some parents went straight home and some met up for dinner.

lannistunut · 29/08/2021 15:47

Yes help but then depart before the tears start

Good luck!

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 29/08/2021 15:51

With DD we had 20 mins to park outside and empty the car. There were 2nd years with supermarket trolleys to help! I parked further away and went back in. I helped unpack the big stuff, made the bed, and emptied boxes and suitcases that I was taking away with me. That was probably 1.5 hours. We popped to the supermarket to get some fresh food then I left her.

Kite22 · 29/08/2021 16:02

Follow the lead of the student, but, for the most part, it is better to unload the stuff - perhaps make up the bed, wedge the door open and leave them to it.
All the Freshers will be in the same situation and parents / families hanging about tend to make that early relationship building a bit trickier.

foolonthehill · 29/08/2021 16:22

With DD1 last year we had covid rules and weren't allowed to move them in but there were 2nd and 3rd year students there to help. However she came back down to collect a bike and a food shop before I left.

With DD1 and DS1 this year (2 different uni's) I'm hoping it will be a bit more relaxed and would plan to carry stuff up, say hi to the flat mates then go. However DS1 will be in early so if he's the only one in his flat we might go out for dinner first!

WitchBaby · 29/08/2021 16:31

Last year we had 20mins to do drop off, although no one was checking. So had time to help DD dump her stuff in the room (I was allowed in with a mask). Then we left and did a supermarket shop.

Benjispruce5 · 29/08/2021 16:33

Depends on uni. My DD is at Durham. We were given a slot. We turned up, we’re helped. Y second year volunteers to carry her stuff.m to her room. We helped make her bed and a few basics then left within the hour as she wanted to started mixing.

ChronicallyMe · 29/08/2021 16:34

My Mum dropped me at uni a few years ago (I’m 24 now so not too long ago!). She helped me do things like all of the bedding, make some bits look nice (some pics on the wall and surprised me with some bits she’d bought me) and then took me to the supermarket and did a food shop. This seemed to be the norm for the majority of people who’s parents took them.

Benjispruce5 · 29/08/2021 16:34

Sorry for typos. This was 2019 so before Covid.

jeanne16 · 29/08/2021 16:34

We always helped both my DD and DS take their stuff to their rooms and then helped them unpack. I always suspected the unpacking wouldn’t happen otherwise. It was never an issue, pre or post COVID.

Lulu1919 · 29/08/2021 16:39

When we took daughter to uni about 8 years ago...we went early...parked up,and spent the morning and lunch time together wandering around the area...then drove closer ...we were allowed to help carry things up and see her room ....but after about 20 mins we left her to it ....I can still see her waving from her window.
I sobbed all the way home ....2 hours ish
Hubby was fine....then I found him crying sitting on her bed that evening ..,ha ha

But we kept brave smiley faces all the time we were there ...so we felt ok to cry when she couldnt see us !

Bagelsandbrie · 29/08/2021 16:44

@Lulu1919

When we took daughter to uni about 8 years ago...we went early...parked up,and spent the morning and lunch time together wandering around the area...then drove closer ...we were allowed to help carry things up and see her room ....but after about 20 mins we left her to it ....I can still see her waving from her window. I sobbed all the way home ....2 hours ish Hubby was fine....then I found him crying sitting on her bed that evening ..,ha ha

But we kept brave smiley faces all the time we were there ...so we felt ok to cry when she couldnt see us !

Aw I love this. We will be exactly the same!!

BeyondMyWits · 29/08/2021 16:45

We shall, as with Dd20, make the bed and pop some fairy lights along the head of it. Check the bathroom and the fridge is relatively clean, give her a big hug then go. Then cry a quick cry in the car, and enjoy the peaceful journey home.

Original poster

AbsolutelySure · 29/08/2021 16:49

I think I might be sobbing the nearly three hours home, unless navigating out of Manchester distracts me!

OP posts:

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 29/08/2021 16:50

We’ve done it three times now. The last time , DS3, was the hardest as we had no one to go home to 🥲. Our pattern was to unload the car, I’d make the bed and get toiletries loo roll etc up in the bathroom to make it a little homely, supermarket shop together, maybe one drink together in the union bar if it looked appropriate, the we left them to it.

Longtimenewsee · 29/08/2021 17:01

Done it once before .. did the same as @ThroughThickAndThin01( but no drink)

CarrotTops · 29/08/2021 17:06

My dad helped unloaded my stuff while my mum made the bed . We did a quick supermarket shop. Mum unpacked some mugs, tea and biscuits. Massive hug and then go

This was perfect as if you do everything they've got nothing to do. If you do nothing then if they want to get socialising straight away they've got no where to sleep and it can feel a bit overwhelming. They can then unpack with the door open to conveniently meet their new flat mates, and welcome them with tea and biscuits (or homemade cake if your feeling generous)

DesdemonaDryEyes · 29/08/2021 17:10

There a Facebook group

What I Wish I Knew at University

Where every question you’ve ever had will be answered.

Hdhdjejdj · 29/08/2021 17:13

This was me this time last year. I cried the day before but on the day itself I was fine. I think it was because I knew it was were he really wanted to be.
The time slot is enough time to help them up pack and make the room look cosy. Then leave them to it.

Peaseblossum22 · 29/08/2021 17:20

@DesdemonaDryEyes

There a Facebook group

What I Wish I Knew at University

Where every question you’ve ever had will be answered.

Brave yourself though because there are some seriously over invested people on there

DesdemonaDryEyes · 29/08/2021 17:22

Indeed.

The questions get madder every day.

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