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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

DD moving into halls

74 replies

AbsolutelySure · 29/08/2021 15:31

I have no experience of this, we get 1.5 hours to drop off. What is the norm? Do I help carry stuff up to her room and leave her to sort everything out herself or do I help her move in and unpack? I honestly have no idea what is the thing to do.

OP posts:

sammyjoanne · 30/08/2021 13:12

Depends on what your daughter wants. We could help set stuff up, but she wanted to do it on her own, so we put all the boxes into her room, then took her food shopping to put stuff in the fridge freezer, then had a bite to eat and left. We spent around 3 hours at Lancaster in total. This was last year. This year its a private landlord, so we are doing it in two journeys since youngest DD wants to visit on open day on 18th September.

Booknooks · 30/08/2021 13:17

Up to you and your daughter really, the time slot is usually just so that not everyone is trying to park up at once, and that the lifts get busy etc rather than being based on optimal time or anything!

A good few years ago now, but was pretty standard for parents to help carry stuff up, maybe help unpack a few bits along with child to make it feel more homely. I would recommend getting a few long life groceries and some milk for a cuppa, the shops nearby are usually really busy and it's good to have a few bits whilst settling in and going shopping. Leaving team in their room alone can be quite hard, we went for lunch after as I moved in the first day and not all flatmates had arrived, and it was easier to say goodbye and then head back to my room.

boys3 · 30/08/2021 18:29

Third one heading of in, scarily, less than a month now. DS2's Uni was a very slick Freshers' arrival; am or pm slot; surprisingly easy parking; horde of supermarket roll cage equipped helpers; single trip from the car. Made bed - never quite sure why as fitted sheet and duvet are not the most challenging of tasks - but have done it on every drop off; leave cake (made for sharing); departed in probably less than 30 minutes. DS1 involved no help; and four flights of stairs. DS3 will be best part of 6hr+ drive away; two hour time slot, but arrivals spread over four days. So late day 1 to arrive; not sure how many other flatmates will be there that day. Supermarket shop as he's self catered; then DH and I will decant to hotel. DS3 will be obviously welcome to join us for a meal that evening, but equally if others have arrived and he wants to settle in with them for the evening that's great.

chesirecat99 · 01/09/2021 16:36

There was a midday parents' reception with champagne and canapes, a research presentation and welcome speech, as well as academic staff on hand to meet and greet at one of mine's uni! I think the main purpose was to sign us all up for the Family and Friends association in the hope of donations but it also worked as a hint that now it was time to prise yourself away from your precious DC and leave them to it The freshers' events started about 30 mins later with free pizza, if any parents hadn't got the hint.

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/09/2021 17:22

When my DD went into halls, my car wasn't big enough for everything so I had to make two trips (it was long ). We took everything in and she wanted to sort it all out herself. Her set up was one unit with several bedrooms and a separate kitchen/dining area. They need to work out between themselves who is having what space in the shared areas. My experience is they didn't want parents hanging around. My advice would be to just get everything in, leave her to sort it and perhaps meet later for dinner. Oh and I did go and do a good shop with her too. She didn't want me to stay for dinner 🤷🏻‍♀️

TheFormidableMrsC · 01/09/2021 17:23

Food not good 👍

Malbecfan · 01/09/2021 17:42

DD1's Cambridge drop-off was fine. There is some parking at her college so DD2 and I went with DD1 in my car. DH drove separately & parked at the park & ride then rode her bike in. DD2 & I unpacked the car and helped DD1 sort things out. I helped her make the bed. There was a parents' afternoon tea with the Master so we went to that with DD2, DD1 being long gone to meet her new pals.

With DD2, DD1 came with me in the car and DH drove the bike separately. We had quite a tight time-frame and the traffic was horrific. We just made it but the site people were brilliant and allowed us to park nearby. We helped DD take her stuff to her room. A couple of other parents were there too so we were all laughing together at how odd it was. We took DD2 to Asda & bought some food then dropped her off. Again, she wanted us to clear off and DD1 and I wanted to listen to a football commentary. No tears either time, especially because our football team had a 8-0 victory so DD1 and I were too busy cheering.

I think it's a bit embarrassing for the DC if you are "that" parent. We kept it low key but it was quite funny at DD1's drop off when one of the 2nd years came running over and gave me a big hug because I had taught him in years 8-12. We scarpered pretty soon afterwards as it's a long drive home.

To those going to Manchester, please don't worry. If you are coming from the south, leave the M6 at junction 19 and follow the signs first for the airport then into the city centre. You end up on the M56 which becomes the A5103. You need to go right off that road to get onto Wilmslow Road (A34) but it's signed. The people are always really friendly and helpful.

Twizbe · 01/09/2021 17:48

I think my parents helped carry stuff to my room (which was good as it was 4 flights of stairs) then they took me shopping to get lots of food to get me going. Especially heavy bulk items then they left.

I went and said hello to my new hall mates.

simplelife100 · 07/09/2021 16:40

I'm taking DS in 2 weeks I'm planning to help him unpack make bed up etc and try grab a nandos for lunch then leave him to get to know people

AdoraBell · 07/09/2021 16:45

Last year I helped to carry everything in, only 1 allowed to help. No idea if it’s the same this year.

cptartapp · 07/09/2021 16:51

Those in catered halls, do they feed them from the start, during Freshers?

Hdhdjejdj · 07/09/2021 16:56

@cptartapp In DS’s experience, yes, they do get fed straight away.

cptartapp · 07/09/2021 17:33

Thankyou!

olidora63 · 11/09/2021 14:40

Depends on the child. My three all wanted to be left to meet their flat mates once we had made up bed etc . I was ok with that because it was less stressful than faffing around trying to be brave!

MarchingFrogs · 11/09/2021 19:59

With DS1, the time I could stay parked outside his block was very limited. I was staying overnight in the conference hotel, so I left him with the arrangement that we would meet for supper, went and checked in, had a swim, twiddled my thumbs a bit, then contacted him - to find that he had got so stuck in to the welcome activities (including free pizza), that he had sort of forgotten that I was still there. A little depressing, but way better than him saying, I thought you'd never call, it's awful here.

With DD (same university, different hall), the arrival slot was broader and the parking was in the carpark of the Sainsbury's next door, where we could stay for several hours. I'd driven with DD, DH and DS2 came up on the train and DS1 wandered round as well. So we had a family room arranging party and trip to the aforementioned Sainsbury's, then left DD to socialise (and eat free pizza).

DS2 is showing signs of being happy to be taken and left on Sunday, but we'll see how it goes. Different university - there might not be free pizza.

lljkk · 11/09/2021 20:10

I can comment on International Halls, central London.

Parking was not controlled on a Sunday on Brunswick Square -- bliss! So parents could and did park right outside. We both carried stuff up, had some snacks in her room while DD started unpacking, admired her room view (over the gardens), gave her a hug & left for the 3 hr drive home.

Remember that congestion charge still applies, must pay that in advance.

akissbeforebed · 12/09/2021 21:32

Dropping off this week and plans are to park up in halls long enough to unload her stuff. Then one of us will move the car to free up space while the other helps unpack. Then we'll take her to a supermarket for a big shop and then we'll probably leave her to it as long as there's someone else there (which there will be, she's on group chats left, right and center).

crimsonlake · 12/09/2021 22:21

I took my two to uni the same year, so it was doubly emotional for me.
With both I helped them unpack and sort their room. With one it was a much longer drive so I stayed overnight in a hotel and met up with him the next day. I can still see him standing on the corner of the street as I drove off and I cried all the way home for four hours.
The second son I can still see waving at me from his window and yes I cried all the way home again. I think I cried on and off for two weeks after.

simplelife100 · 29/09/2021 09:57

Took my son on Monday helped get all his stuff in his room unpacked and settled and then we said our goody bye I cried my eyes out and my son cried too maybe I started him off but we are very close and I left him a card with how proud I am of him and as I was eating so food in McDonald's on way home I got a message to say he loved me and that started me off in McDonald's. He going to an a great experience I miss him so much the house just seem to quiet no one shouting down the x box to his mates but I'm sure I'll get use to it

WentworthMillerMad · 29/09/2021 16:27

I took my DS on Sunday, unpacked, made his bed, unpacked fridge bits and we were gone within an hour or so, I cried all the way home and the next day. I am so proud of him but I miss him immensely. Everyone says I will get used to it, so it must be true but not feeing it yet. Yes @simplelife100 I will miss the screeches of laughter over the late night PS4 games, amongst a 1001 other things!

simplelife100 · 29/09/2021 17:04

@WentworthMillerMad I miss him so much, I've had 3 months of him being home with me while I've been working from home my house just feels so quiet but like you have said I'm sure we will get use to it

kalidasa · 29/09/2021 17:27

My dad always drove me up. We would unload (but not unpack), then he'd take me out for a pub lunch. No drama and def no tears. But then I have loads of siblings and had been at boarding school before anyway (he always took me to school too).

kalidasa · 29/09/2021 17:30

My dad died very recently and it was actually really nice to remember these trips!

sammyjoanne · 02/10/2021 21:19

@kalidasa sorry to hear about your dad What lovely memories; seems like a very chilled drop off, with a nice pub lunch x

My eldest is about to start second year and I dropped her off a couple of weeks ago. She's is making up for dipping out on freshers last year due to the restrictions so has done all the clubbing this week before the actual freshers arrive for next week.
First year was more upsetting dropping her off, but got used to it after a couple of weeks. Facetime and a mid term visit really helps. This year was much better.

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