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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

DD moving into halls

74 replies

AbsolutelySure · 29/08/2021 15:31

I have no experience of this, we get 1.5 hours to drop off. What is the norm? Do I help carry stuff up to her room and leave her to sort everything out herself or do I help her move in and unpack? I honestly have no idea what is the thing to do.

OP posts:
hellcatspangle · 29/08/2021 17:22

We helped unload all their stuff into their room and unpacked a bit of stuff (just so we could take some of the boxes home) then took them into town for lunch before doing a grocery shop and dropping them back off.

I didn't see any students doing it all on their own, they all had at least one parent helping them.

Kite22 · 29/08/2021 17:38

@DesdemonaDryEyes

There a Facebook group

What I Wish I Knew at University

Where every question you’ve ever had will be answered.

...... and SO many questions it would just never cross your mind to ask Wink

Brave yourself though because there are some seriously over invested people on there

Yup, I do wonder how some of their dc are going to manage......

The questions get madder every day.

I've had to set myself a sort of "Count to 10 rule" so I don't say what I am actually thinking for some of them Grin

However, despite all of the overly invested helicopters, it is ALSO a really useful group for all parents of 6th formers hoping to go to University and then as they move to University. Most people are really helpful.

thesandwich · 29/08/2021 17:45

Because of covid some places are only allowing the student into halls. Please check the guidelines.
IKEA blue bags are brilliant. There will be lots of helpers around.

Fiddie · 29/08/2021 17:51

Some of the questions on WIWIKAU FB are definitely a bit of a Shock but there's some really good stuff on there too.

(It's what I wish I knew about uni, not at I think)

DesdemonaDryEyes · 29/08/2021 17:57

Lol

DesdemonaDryEyes · 29/08/2021 17:58

I could have called it Wee Wee Cow.

And if you correct every typo you are going to be very, very busy.

2bazookas · 29/08/2021 18:09

You help her take all the stuff to her room then you say goodby and leave. Don't cry till you get in the car.

She will be meeting new friends and they just don't want parents to hang around being embarrassing.

You leave her to unpack by herself., This is her first adult home away from home and she'll do it her way.

Fiddie · 29/08/2021 18:18

@DesdemonaDryEyes

I could have called it Wee Wee Cow.

And if you correct every typo you are going to be very, very busy.

Sorry wasn't being a dick correcting you. Just thought people might not find it.

Wee wee cow Grin

We're taking DD to help her unpack then going for lunch before taking her back. She's spoken to a couple of her flatmates on WhatsApp but they aren't getting there until the evening.

legoriakelne · 29/08/2021 18:31

@Tee20x

When my parents dropped me off, they helped me with things up to my room & then left shortly after. I then met them in town and we had something to eat.
And maybe do an initial supermarket shop with/for them to get them started.
Onthegrid · 29/08/2021 18:52

Done this quite a few times now. 4 x 1st year drop offs to halls, not 4 diff DC though
Arrive at allocated time, car unloaded often with help if space is limited but not so sure in Covid times. Check all OK and grab any boxes that are coming back home. Leave and go to nearest town for food. DC do their own unpacking and let us know if they need anything before we leave.

Dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 29/08/2021 19:35

The drop off timings/rules etc vary from place to place but I would say respect your slot, unload the stuff, unpack some but then re-park if necessary and walk back to help finish unpacking etc/go food shopping /meal out before your departure.

Dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 29/08/2021 19:40

@DesdemonaDryEyes

Indeed.

The questions get madder every day.

Yes but I can't help responding lol.
Peaseblossum22 · 29/08/2021 22:15

There was one today where the dm was asking what clothes to pack , as in numbers of tee shirts , trousers etc. Granted she was overseas and there was quarantine involved but even so . The knife block one is a good read as well

In all seriousness though there is some very useful
Information on there especially about things like student finance . And honestly if it helps people to process things then that’s a good thing .

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 29/08/2021 22:18

Ask her what she wants on the day. I made ds's bed and he got really angry and upset as he wanted to do it ( I thought I was helping ConfusedHmm) You can always go and park elsewhere and meet up if she wants you to stay longer.

Dotoallasyouwouldbedoneby · 29/08/2021 22:49

@2bazookas

You help her take all the stuff to her room then you say goodby and leave. Don't cry till you get in the car.

She will be meeting new friends and they just don't want parents to hang around being embarrassing.

You leave her to unpack by herself., This is her first adult home away from home and she'll do it her way.

Not always sometimes you are the only one moving in to your flat.
gogohm · 29/08/2021 22:59

Help carry her bags up, if you have time make up her bed and help her hang things up then drive her to the supermarket for a stock up.

Lyricallie · 29/08/2021 23:02

I used to be a halls warden in a uni in London and I'd say it's a mix. We would have the welcome crew of older students helping with move in and helping international students who were alone. A lot of parents came and helped them get settled and then headed out to let the students get settled with their new halls mates. We did have an occasional one or two who asked permission if a parent could stay over as they couldn't get/afford accommodation and we could give permission. However this was very very rare.

ShaunaTheSheep · 30/08/2021 07:15

Do the food shop the day before and take it in a cool bag. If it doesn’t fit in the car they are taking too much stuff!

Blueskythinking123 · 30/08/2021 09:21

@AbsolutelySure my DD is also off to Manchester. I am feeling more nervous about driving in Manchester. Also, I'm not sure there is much parking near or around the Halls.

My DD is at Reading. I have not asked her if she has been sent any updates about drop off.

Original poster
AbsolutelySure · 30/08/2021 09:25

@ShaunaTheSheep

Do the food shop the day before and take it in a cool bag. If it doesn’t fit in the car they are taking too much stuff!

Yes, we're doing this the day before Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
AbsolutelySure · 30/08/2021 09:25

[quote Blueskythinking123]@AbsolutelySure my DD is also off to Manchester. I am feeling more nervous about driving in Manchester. Also, I'm not sure there is much parking near or around the Halls.

My DD is at Reading. I have not asked her if she has been sent any updates about drop off. [/quote]

DD is staying in Oxford Court and I think / hope there is a small car park

OP posts:
Rogue1001 · 30/08/2021 09:39

@AbsolutelySure/@Blueskythinking123
So is mine!

Also roughly a 3hr drive. Also nervous about negotiating driving round Manchester

HelloMissus · 30/08/2021 09:39

The halls should send DD info about logistics.
Pre pandemic you used to be greeted by smiling second years in brightly coloured tee shirts who would help hump the stuff and chit chat away (they’re getting paid so avail yourself).

Help unpack quickly and cheerily.
Then kiss them and bugger off.
Cry on your way home.

However, before all this tell your DD to try not to worry.
To call if she wants but not a problem if she doesn’t want to.
Tell her to take every opportunity she can. To say yes to things.
Tell her that this time will go by like the speed of light.

CorianderBee · 30/08/2021 09:42

Arrive, unload stuff, make bed, leave. That's how I met the handsome fresher a few floors below me - and we've been together more than 8 years Grin

Needmoresleep · 30/08/2021 10:19

We screwed up completely and booked a holiday including the date when DD was supposed to start. (She was on a gap year, so we had sort of forgotten about terms.)

It was fine. She got on a train with two suitcases, one stuffed with duvet (with the the ancient childhood duvet cover), pillow, and a laptop, the other with enough clothes etc for a week. The kind DD of a MNetter met her at the station and helped her get a taxi, though she could have done it herself.

A week later I drove down with the stuff she requested and had a lovely day with her. Rather than the strict half hour drop off we were able to unpack together whilst she told me about her first week, then stock up on cupboard essentials and buy other things she needed (mainly a bike.) The flat had very little storage space, so she was able to avoid the problems her flatmates had had of more stuff than they had space for. She claimed people had been unloading car fulls including huge TVs and the like. We then ordered other things like a mattress topper in the right size over the internet.

I probably won "bad parent award" but it worked out fine. I would strongly recommend not buying too much to start with, and indeed would suggest giving them old stuff and you buying new. Kitchen equipment especially gets "borrowed" and damaged. Plates from a charity shop are more colourful and identifiable than new plates, etc.

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