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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Do parents go to open days?

80 replies

Brian9600 · 06/08/2021 08:01

Was talking to dd yesterday about uni open days. She’s under the impression that it’s common to go with your parents. That was v much not the case in my day (25 years ago Shock).

Is this right? I hope so- I’d love to go along- but obviously only if it’s appropriate.

(This is all a couple of years off for us so hopefully covid won’t affect anything.)

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 06/08/2021 08:02

It was common for parents to go when I went to uni nearly 20 years ago so yes. Although this is a topic which comes up often on here and MN loves to tell you not to go.

mumonthehill · 06/08/2021 08:05

DH or I went to all of ds open days. He wanted us to and it was good to be able to see where he might be and also point out things he may not of thought about. Ultimately the choice was his but it was lovely to be involved and be interested.

Velvetbee · 06/08/2021 08:05

Very common now because of the loan system I think. You want to help your child make the best decision because they’re accruing shed-loads of debt.
They’re also really good fun. Me and DS still talk about exploring uni cities and it was 5 years ago.

hoochyhooha · 06/08/2021 08:05

I did, but that was about 8 years ago, I kept a low profile there though with dc, it was useful as they were able to chat to me about what they felt about the different unis.

Velvetbee · 06/08/2021 08:06

DS and I

NerrSnerr · 06/08/2021 08:08

Although this is a topic which comes up often on here and MN loves to tell you not to go.

MN isn't a hive mind @AppleKatie. People just have different opinions. When I went about 25 years ago I didn't take my parents as they wanted me to travel independently as part of the preparations for university.

FeelingBored · 06/08/2021 08:09

I work at Open Days and the vast majority of applicants come with their parents - although of course it’s also absolutely fine to come without them Smile

VanCleefArpels · 06/08/2021 08:16

Yes vast majority go with parents, not uncommon to see whole family groups with younger siblings, grandparents etc out for a day trip! It’s actually quite useful esp when looking at accommodation as the kids rarely ask the right questions (eg length of lease, do they have to empty room out every holiday) or review facilities with a critical eye!( eg how much kitchen space per student)

Bluntness100 · 06/08/2021 08:18

My husband and I went to all our daughters open days six years ago and pretty much every single student had a parent/guardian with them.

HandScreen · 06/08/2021 08:18

Yes

Twizbe · 06/08/2021 08:19

I had a mixture. My parents came with me to one or two I think. The rest I went to by myself.

For some of them we made a weekend of it and checked out the city as well. I remember doing similar for my older brother as well.

fourminutestosavetheworld · 06/08/2021 08:21

I went to every open day for all four of mine, most recent being two years ago. It was very common. Most kids had at least one parent with them and it was unusual to see a group who didn't. Lots of universities put on events and talks specifically for the parents. I enjoyed all of them and remember each trip as being very special, given that each child moved out soon afterwards.

AppleKatie · 06/08/2021 08:21

Thanks for the update @NerrSnerr 😂

gogohm · 06/08/2021 08:34

I took dd1 last month and everyone was with parents. In our case it was partly transport is easier and half as long by car, by the time I drove her to the station we could be almost half there in the opposite direction! Dd1 is older but has sn. I didn't take dd2 when she looked because she was at boarding school

bevelino · 06/08/2021 08:40

Lots of parents attend open days with their dcs and some universities give a separate lecture to parents. I went to a couple of open days but dgps also took turns attending with my 4 dcs, which they were keen to be part of and absolutely loved.

NewYearNewTwatName · 06/08/2021 08:42

its normal.

With DS1 there were no in person open days due to covid, plus he only decided to go to uni just after the ucas applications closed. (you can still apply but not guaranteed a response)

However when he was invited to an offer holders tour, he was adamant he wanted to go on his own.

DS2 has already said that he'd want us to look round universities with him.

DinosaurDiana · 06/08/2021 08:43

DS didn’t want me to go with him, he went with his mates.
DD did get me to go so that I would ask questions, she is socially anxious.

Chilldonaldchill · 06/08/2021 08:46

When I went (just over 30 years ago) no one had parents with them (though I only went to one and only went to that because someone else in my year wanted to go and needed someone to go with; we had never heard of open days before that!)
DD was scuppered by covid so didn't go to any but she was keen to have one of us go with her when she was planning ahead. She went to one "introduction to X subject" day at Cambridge pre-covid where she went to some lectures - she went with friends but told us afterwards that there were a lot of parents there, even for that.

Bagelsandbrie · 06/08/2021 08:48

Been to quite a few recently ish with dd and all had parents there.

OldTinHat · 06/08/2021 08:57

Yep. I drove DS2 the length and breadth of the UK so he could attend open days. He then chose a university half an hour away on the train...grrrrrrrrr!

Abraxan · 06/08/2021 09:01

Dd went to university last year.
At all the open days pretty much every student had at least one, if not two, parents with them.
Every university also held specific sessions for parents as well as general ones.
They were all geared up for students with parents.

We saw no more than a handful of students in their own and most were older students.

I went to university many years ago now - early 90s.
Even then - in my experience - most students went to open days with parents - parents often doing the driving, but also parents seemed to stay. The open days weren't as well organised as these days but certainly my experience was most students had parents with them than didn't, even 20 odd years ago.

Same as going to university. MN has us believe that students just packed a bag and got the train, never to return home again for months. I don't know anyone who went to university for their moving in in their own. And that's despite going to a very ordinarily, not particularly highly achieving comp in the middle of council estates, not middle class leafy green type schools.

burnoutbabe · 06/08/2021 09:01

I took my partner, I was 46! Seemed a good plan to attend together to check out the area.

mafted · 06/08/2021 09:02

I went to one, DH went to one and DD went to the others with friends.

I was surprised at how many parents were there and that the majority of questions and comments came from parents. I thought I'd have been in the way but it wasn't the case.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/08/2021 09:03

20odd years ago when I was visiting, for open days or interviews, there were special parent talks, accommodation tours etc.

damekindness · 06/08/2021 09:03

Speaking as an academic who seems to to do have done every open day that's been scheduled at my university for decades - it's rarer to see applicants without parents these days ( particularly those coming straight from school/college)

Most parents sensibly take the back seat and encourage their offspring to lead on any conversations and questions with the occasional prompt or follow up question. A few parents completely take over and the applicant remains utterly silent - which leaves me wondering how they're going to cope with the transition to higher education

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