Do parents go to open days?

[Brian9600]

Was talking to dd yesterday about uni open days. She’s under the impression that it’s common to go with your parents. That was v much not the case in my day (25 years ago ).

Is this right? I hope so- I’d love to go along- but obviously only if it’s appropriate.

(This is all a couple of years off for us so hopefully covid won’t affect anything.)

One thing I would ask of parents is please don’t start on aggressive lines of questioning. Open Days are tiring enough without having someone questioning whether chemical engineers are responsible for climate change, asking if we’re ashamed that our graduates sometimes work in oil and gas (no, we’re not) or demanding to know how “only” 16 hours of timetabled contact time per week in final year is value for money. For one thing, you’re embarrassing your child. There are nice ways to ask the contact hours question which will get a better answer. Please be aware that the person showing you round isn’t responsible for every policy and decision their university makes but is responsible for trying to sell it to you.

Yes very common. I used to be admissions tutor for my department and the majority of applicants would come with at least one parent.

My advice? When the time comes, by all means go along to support your DD but give her room to ask her own questions (perhaps discuss with her in advance what she might want to know, as often I found students weren't sure what information they wanted/needed). So many times in the past I found myself talking to the parents whilst their child stood awkwardly to one side because their parents were dominating conversation and asking me questions about contact hours, placements, employment etc. By all means you can ask those questions, but just let your child have a go first asking questions about what it will actually be like to study on the course they are interested in 🙂

We went ....either both of us or one uni think just husband went ...but every student seemed to be with an adult ...

Yes 99.9% of parents go with the kids

I wasn't going to go to the open days but the student volunteer at registration did everything she could to persuade me to stay when we went to UCL. I was just taking a short cut through the campus to Waterstones! In the end, I went to the department talk with DS, which was useful for understanding the application process/course and being supportive during interviews. I then went alone to the finance talk for parents while DS went to other departmental stuff and we split up for accommodation tours to see as many as possible. We did the same for the other unis, DS went to the open day, we would meet for lunch, then we would split the accommodation tours between us.

I was surprised that the majority of students were with parents. Those that weren't tended to be in groups of friends from school.

We went with Ds to his first open day at the weekend, everyone had at least one parent with them

We went to the various depts with DS but encouraged him to do the campus tour on his own, poor lad was the ONLY unaccompanied young person but said he felt the parents presence stopped the young people from interacting

DS has an anxiety disorder and I was really proud that he went on his own, I think on these visits it’s a balance and we have to step back and times and allow them to find their own feet

I think some people mistake the purpose of open days and expect a lot of general interest demonstrations etc, when they are really focused on giving applicants information.

We've got a local 'rural' FE college which holds a fabulous 'fun for all the family' open day - tours of their facilities (labradors happily demoing the hydrotherapy kit) but also dog agility and dancing, equestrian events, the Sheep Show, lovely gardens, rare breeds, flower arranging, smithying, earnest 16 yos proudly leading livestock they've been up at dawn washing and brushing, etc etc. If you want a fun day out for younger kids look for something like that (And by the by, let them know uni isn't the only option)!

I would add that when the time comes it is REALLY useful to go to offer holder days where things are generally much more course focussed and a useful for final weighing up if trying to decide which one to firm. It’s unusual for parents to go at that stage

demanding to know how “only” 16 hours of timetabled contact time per week in final year is value for money

Hate this one.

I'm in the humanities - I do tend to push back (gently) on this question
a) they'll need to spend at least 2 (if not 3) full days each week simply reading the course material - primary and secondary texts
b) would you ask this question at Oxford/Cambridge in my discipline, where there's at most 2 tutorial hours, and non-compulsory lectures ?

Are they not all online still?

DS has an anxiety disorder and I was really proud that he went on his own, I think on these visits it’s a balance and we have to step back and times and allow them to find their own feet

Excellent! @Tomnooktoldmeto - he'll really have learnt a lot (more than just about the course) by doing that. Good for him (and you)!

@ShortBacknSides thankyou, I actually have 2 with additional needs going off next year hopefully, it’s always tricky striking that balance and it was wonderful on the visit to meet a number of students already at the Uni with additional needs

My day was nearly 20 years ago and at least one parent always came with me.

One parent went with our kids to the general open days, except for one occasion we couldn't make it, but for post-offer open days they went their own.

Very often yes parents go, some universities actually put on sessions for parents.

I was quite surprised a couple of years ago, a friend's son had got into a uni about an hour's drive away so I gave friend and son a lift (neither drives) to enrollment but I made my friend swear she would not go with her son to enrol.

When we got there quite a few parents were at enrolment. We were talking to a family who had flown over from NI so I could see the logic of them dropping their child of but there were parents actually going in to the enrolment.

every time I asked the actual prospective student about their interests, he just looked at his parents in a ‘You talk to the strange grownup’ way.

An all too successful upbringing by fanatical stranger danger parents, perhaps?

It is very common for parents to accompany prospective students these day. It used to be unusual, but times change.

We separate parents and offspring at open days and each get their own dedicated tours and talks.

I went to all DD's Open Days with her. Was so fun and a real bonding experience. We weren't familiar with several of the cities, so it was great to explore together. At several schools, she went to lectures/tasters in her subject while I had a look around or sat in a parents' lecture on the course (so I wasn't the only one there).
At Cambridge we split up for some of the college/accommodation tours, to try to cover more ground.
Living in London, she had been "travelling independently" since age 11, so... it wasn't helicoptering, etc. One of my favourite family memories so far.

Yes, because:

1. DD wouldn't have gone on her own
2. Northern Rail were on strike every Saturday between August and December and DD didn't drive.

We saw very few students without parents.

Absolutely 100% up to you and your DD, OP. If she wants you with her, that's fine, most students will have a parent with them; but if she would prefer to go on her own, that's fine too.

My DD wanted me to go not because I would be asked for an opinion (perish the thought ), but as a sounding board when she was weighing up course content, different types of accommodation, campus v city universities etc. She would make up her own mind, but still liked to have someone to discuss her reasoning with.

My DD wanted me to go not because I would be asked for an opinion (perish the thought grin), but as a sounding board when she was weighing up course content, different types of accommodation, campus v city universities etc. She would make up her own mind, but still liked to have someone to discuss her reasoning with.

This was another reason DD wanted me to go with her, but the main reason was that she couldn't get there without me driving her.

When I went for open days and interviews back in the early 90's I went by myself. There were hardly any parents around. The one time my Dad came with me ( Train ticket to Liverpool was too expensive for me) I made him stay in the car!

It was just what you did back then

I would only go with my DD if she wanted me to as remember enjoying my independence to see the city by myself/chat to fellow students without having adults around.

I have been with eldest and will be with the youngest. Plus as well its lovely to visit the city and stay over night in a hotel and make a weekend out of it. :)

I think also these days there is more 'hard sell' from universities – that's not a criticism, it's inevitable given the marketisation of higher education – but it's changed the dynamic slightly and it might now possibly be harder for 17 and 18-year-olds to see through all the sales talk and glossy presentations.

I have the impression that in previous generations a more laissez-faire attitude prevailed and universities were a bit more 'you're welcome to come here if you like the look of us'. As opposed to now when they are keen to persuade applicants.

Is that fair? What do those involved in the university application process think?

Is that fair? What do those involved in the university application process think?

The open days I have been involved in (lots) don’t involve a hard sell. However, it is pressed upon staff that consumer protection laws now apply, so we have to be very careful what we say. Essentially, we don’t promise anything and make it absolutely clear that everything we offer may be subject to change at some point in the future.