Cambridge and Oxford - ongoing chat for those with a student currently studying there

[DadDadDad]

Some of us have found these threads helpful, so I'm starting a new one to take us through

...end-of-year exams (and parties)

...homecoming for the vacation (and hibernation aestivation for this thread?)

...return in the autumn (and more normal college life?)

Posters old and new welcome to join the discussion. Any tips for finding a summer job?

Oh, and for reference, I have a DS just completing his first year in a small humanity in a tiny college.

Christ Church, @Hoghgyni ? Have you just transplanted an Oxford college to Cambridge, or do you mean Christ's?

That'll be the one.

Other C colleges with tennis courts include Trinity (who have everything), Newnham, Wolfson, St John’s and Selwyn (shared with King’s, Queens’ and Robinson). There are also free public tennis courts if he can find someone to play with but who isn’t at one of the colleges with courts.

Still on the subject of tennis, DD is grumpy that her exams end on Friday 25th and Varsity tennis is on 26th & 27th. I think she's forgotten that she had the chance to party on Friday night after rowing. She claims she's too busy to take her clothes to the laundry after a dunking in the river, so her bathroom smells grim.

DS has bought a ticket to his college garden party on the last weekend in June. Not sure if it will be able to go ahead.

@ironoaks, I am wondering the same. It will be so sad if all these garden parties and other events can't go ahead, especially for finalists who missed out on Trinity term last year too.

DH and I had a truly glorious afternoon yesterday in Oxford enjoying punting and a picnic with DD. It was postponed from Father's Day last year but well worth the wait. Not least because DD is now a very proficient chauffeur and navigated our punt with elegant cool through the "punt jam" at Magdalen Bridge!

We still haven't been punting.

dd has finished her exams. In her words. "Freedom!!!".

It will be very sad though if garden parties aren't allowed to happen.

Hurray @OhYouBadBadKitten - what a relief. DS1 has also finished today and I've seen the photos of him getting trashed. He looks so happy.

I'm not sure about garden parties. By their very nature they're outside...,

If the hinted-at raising of the number allowed to attend weddings goes ahead, couldn't they just rebrand them as 'weddings'...? Perhaps even get a couple of students to go through a mock ceremony (making sure that they don't inadvertently do something which makes it legit, obviously).

Hurray @OhYouBadBadKitten and @sandybayley - it is such a relief when exams are done.

I think the limit on meeting outdoors is still 30?

Yes, will stick at 30 which doesn't make for much of a party 😟

Haha - think there might be a lot of "receptions" this summer without the wedding bit....

Thanks for all the help about tennis and I've passed on the info. to DS1.

Mine are still in the very thick of it and working flat out, with DS2's first 3 hour exam tomorrow and DS1's deadline for his assessed essays submission on Wednesday. Then he's got his one and only exam from Friday lunchtime until the following lunchtime, whereas DS2's four 3 hour exams are all in a specific time slot.

I'm picking them up before the end of next week as we then go on holiday, so they'll miss any celebrations that might be happening, although it's looking increasingly unlikely that any large gatherings can go ahead, sadly.

It's a pity that all subjects and years don't do exams at the same time as it seems many are already exam-free and celebrating, some still in the middle and some like mine not even yet begun.

Hurray for your ds too Sandy :)

Never fear Mutterphore. Oxford maths & PPE don't even start until next week.

Good luck for all of the progeny still taking exams.

DD has been released from quarantine and is making up for the missed parties. Weds will be messy - results day. Until then she is out channeling her inner Jackson Pollock on other student's clothes.

(Semi-regular contributor to this thread - namechanged for this.)

Have any of you ever contacted an O college directly? My son amid prelims but absolutely miserable due to sudden situation.

He wasn't in his college ballot for rooms next year due to a disability that means he needed a certain welfare facility. He needed the same adjustment this year, and so it was straightforward to send off the medical evidence and request a (any) room with the necessary facility. This was confirmed several weeks ago.

Turns out, the college didn't look at evidence for anyone, and some students told their friends this so lots of those unlucky on ballot made up welfare excuses for needing big rooms - or the largest flats with their friends with identical excuses!

This has just all come out and students left on ballot are understandably furious with those making false claims as will mostly end up with no choice and off main site. Of course they don't know who has genuine needs or not, and son feels awful, thinking they're going to be pointing finger at him. And that he doesn't want to be living with the cheats!

He wants to keep his head down but I think the college has left him open to bullying with their approach. They've accepted that they should have looked at evidence but say it's too late now as they are too busy!

Will college ignore messages from concerned parents pointing out how vulnerable they've left the genuinely disabled? I don't know what to do. Ironically he applied to this college because of their outreach effort at his school, including claims of being open, friendly and putting student welfare first!

(Can I name the college? I want to, for heads up for prospective applicants.)

feimna what does your ds want you to do? I was very upset with dds college early this year. I asked if she wanted me to step in and she said no. I had to respect that.

That might be helpful, to name the college, especially since anyone with a DC at that college could possibly be helpful through a PM if they didn't want to ID their own DCs' college.

It sounds very bad, and while these ballots do seem to bring out low cunning in a lot of students, straying into feigned disability is beyond that low bar, I'd have thought.

Good point OYBBK. I’ll check with DS before I decide whether or not to rant at the college.

goodbyestranger I agree about the ethics of feigning disability. And the college, having admitted their staff errors, are just as bad for refusing to set things right now IMO.

It’s Trinity College, Oxford.

I agree with goodbye, it's a low bar that those students have sunk below. I'm surprised actually: from what I gather most students are acutely alert to injustice. I wonder if it might be quite obvious to other students that your DS does not fit into the category of the cheaters. I probably wouldn't be so concerned about bullying in that case but it's a real shame that his neighbours may be the type of person who thinks they can walk over others to get what they want. I hope someone puts pressure on the college.. Surely it wouldn't take too much effort to look at those reasons and change plans.

I too hope someone calls out the college over this. It is completely unacceptable behaviour by both students and staff.

@feimina I have contacted my DC’s college (not Trinity) with their permission about a problem they were having. I cc’ed the student’s uni email so it was very transparent. Got a helpful response.

Thanks for the advice here and also DMs. I’m just waiting to hear from DS but looks like plenty of other parents intervening too as it’s so blatantly unfair.

@feimina I have contacted DD's C college about a welfare issue. I don't want to go into details as it's all in the past but a boyfriend's fruit-loop parent made up all sorts of wild accusations that she threatened DD with. I wanted to get the first strike in. Her college was absolutely brilliant - calm, reassuring and firmly asserting that I wasn't wasting their time. It's worth getting in contact.

In other news, DD has her final Part 3 results. She got a First! I am amazed and really proud of her. I'm not sure how it all works - maybe some of you old handers/Oxbridge graduates can help - but she got Firsts in parts 1, 2 & 3. She should now be getting her MSci at graduation. Future plans are still awaiting financial decisions, so if you'll have me, I'd like to stick around this friendly board.