Another path to greatness - part III

[chopc]

Here is the new thread

between those who have "moved on" and those who are up and running

Sorry, that didn't make sense. Those that moved on, and those who are still in education, is what I meant (durrrr).

Thanks all. I am a little clearer now.

You know it is DS not getting into Cambridge that got me thinking about his future. Before that I just assumed he will take care of it himself and my bit is done 🙈.

Largely this will still be the case but I don't know why I assumed if he got into Cambridge it will mean he is sorted. More fool me.

My brother seemed to think that in the likes of Oxbridge /LSE students get a lot of training to answer questions at interviews and to present themselves in an appealing way. Mind his experience is over 20 years old as well. He went to Lancaster and felt the careers service was rather poor and that was not a target Uni for Elite front line jobs eg if a bank would come to the careers fair it was to recruit for HR and IT

I think this has changed over the years and all jobs / internships are more accessible to all - if you know about them and are aware of deadlines etc . A lot of information is available online which I wouldn't have thought to look at unless I knew the process.

Anyway rambling all but a huge thank you all for your input

chop - you will have seen on the LSE thread, that some of them are already stressing and asking questions about internships now. They haven’t even got offers half the time . This is a whole other world to me. Sounds very intense. I’m hoping it’s just for certain courses, otherwise, blimey.

Wherever your DS ends up just encourage him to go to the careers fairs and so on. My DSS went to a talk with a friend for something he thought he wouldn't be interested in but went as they were going straight out after. He now works in that field and the friend doesn't. As you say the deadlines are important and if the only thing they get from the fairs is when those deadlines are and the usual routes in then that helps.

quest1on - allegedly that is one of the reasons students from all over come to LSE as they do have a good track record of students getting into internships and grad schemes. However as per my friend whose son went to LSE, it's the proximity to the many careers fairs etc that helped as opposed to LSE helping him find placements etc

Who knows

At this stage I think it's just good to be aware of what happens at Uni so we can check in and nudge etc . It's all very well leaving them to it but if I need DC off our "payroll" when they are in their mid twenties, a nudge or a prompt here and there wouldn't hurt .

Yes thanks season

It’s not LSE that gets them in. It’s the highly selective student intake. They are no different to Oxbridge intake really. Could even be more driven to do well given the international numbers. Most intern schemes put the candidates through multiple hoops. The elite unis have more students who do well with these challenges.

The elite unis have careers fairs. Geared up dc go to them. They make their career happen. I didn’t nudge DD. She’s a self starter. If they cannot work out what they need to do and meet application deadlines - heaven help them quite frankly. You cannot.

Oxbridge don’t spend lots of time training the students to perform well in job interviews. Like entendres lest there is a careers office for students who choose to go and use it but if I had to go one way or the other ie purls
At Oxbridge is less focussed on prepping students for job application processes than many other institutions. Their focus is on course academics.

I too am puzzled by the assumption that most of our children will do Masters degrees. Perhaps I am out of touch but I had already assumed that relatively few did them, mainly being those with ongoing commitment to their subjects, a wish to study abroad/ extend the experience or, a group showing recent uptick, those who don’t know what to do next/ are struggling to get that first graduate job so buy time. But, as I say, maybe I am out of touch?

Could be just me Revenge, but most first degrees in traditional subjects don’t really lead into an obvious career. I alesys assumed DS would need a more specialist masters or MBA or something more focused on top? Also, I think it’s useful to have a year out after a three year degree (maybe not so much after a 4-year with an international year) to travel and gain some work experience before commuting to a masters and then a “proper job.”

committing not commuting.

Good for your DD presentingpercy. The vast majority of young people I know of do need a nudge but perhaps that will change with time and experience

I am also aware in my circle the youngesters are not under pressure to get a job and start working as their parents are able to support them. So perhaps that's why they need nudging ......

I am obviously hideously naive. I thought once ds was off to Uni I would no longer be nudging him for anything. Other than to call me occasionally! I'm planning to leave him to it...but then I was living on my own at 17 so I have a slightly skewed view of things.

Talking of masters.. are any other dc going to be doing an integrated masters? Dd has applied for 4 year course

Good morning! I think some of our DC are back at school for the last term today? All the very best to them and hope they are able to fit some fun in and make memories!

Some people do masters because they are too lazy to think about careers early enough and others because that is the right route for their career. On the nudge issue I was certainly frustrated with my children in not wanting to bother thinking about careers as early as I did. It is their choice however and I don't support adult children once they finish studying. Some of their friends at university put a lot of work into applying for jobs and paid and unpaid vacation schemes etc - I applied to 139 l aw firms for a start. Others do not do a single thing in their spare time except relax.

As a mum to three boys and two of those having Splds which involve having organisational issues they did need and the youngest will need the odd conversations along the way as to what is available to them to tap into. I am not going to be hands off completely because another parent on MN didn't need to with their DC.

There is a difference between being supportive in a useful way and being a total helicopter parent.

@Xenia yet you are paying for them to do their law conversion course plus LPC - both of which would have been sponsored had they got a training contract. I know that training contracts are very very competitive- however from what you have said I am not sure how hard they tried to land one?

Don't get me wrong we would pay for the law conversion and LPC too but DS have to have tried his utmost to land a training contract first.

I am learning more and more that there are more than one way to skin a cat. Even if the training contract is not in a biggish London firm, it doesn't stop you working your way up there.

With SQEs coming then it may indeed lead to a whole shake up of training contracts anyway so it will be interesting to see how that pans out. Your DS won't do a traditional GDL/LPC but will be an SQE route qualified.

That's right @SeasonFinale .... it will be interesting to see how it pans out.
DH thinks doing relevant work experience is better on his CV than a paid job say in Tesco's during the holidays. What do others think?

@SeasonFinale

As a mum to three boys and two of those having Splds which involve having organisational issues they did need and the youngest will need the odd conversations along the way as to what is available to them to tap into. I am not going to be hands off completely because another parent on MN didn't need to with their DC.

There is a difference between being supportive in a useful way and being a total helicopter parent.

It's a really difficult balance, and obviously different in every situation. I want to try to be supportive of my older dcs but I do think that 'failing' on occasion is very helpful. Unfortunately my DH tends to be much more of a helicopter parent than I am, to the point where my ds doesn't know how to fix a puncture on his bike because DH will just do it for him. Fortunately (?) DH not at all academic so can't help with essays or revision but he does try to encourage me to check ds' essays, which I will only do if ds asks me to, and he hasn't asked since GCSEs....

One of my BFs has a severely dyslexic daughter who needs lots of support and probably will for a long time. I used to be a bit judgey about her nursing her through all her dd's homework, but now I see that her support is absolutely essential for keeping her poor dd's head above water. Her younger child is a completely different situation and needs very little support.

DS now more keen on a trip to see Durham, which I think we will try to do at half-term. It's a long journey so we will probably stay the night, if anyone knows a nice place to stay please feel free to let me know!

Good luck to dcs heading back today. My 3 don't go back until next week, and I really think they have had enough holiday now! They're all looking a bit bored...

Fortunately despite their spld the youngest in particular is very academic and certainly doesn't need any input from neither DH not I on that score. It is more along the lines of deadlines. Fortunately for the older one his DSA paid for a mentor who was able to help him diarise deadlines and the like so I didn't need to!

chop, my daughter was sponsored by a law firm on the GDL and LPC and she still works there (been at the firm all her career). She applied a year late so had a gap year after her LPC working abroad but with the law job to go back to - nice year to have a gap year actually 5 years after A levels. Second daughter was applying 2008 - credit crunch etc so I paid for her law fees. Son drive a supermarket van and after his degree was a happy postman for 3 years - he has different aims from the rest. Twins were not sure they would do law during their degrees so did not apply in time to be sponsored although one is waiting to hear from some firms who might pay his fees. if not I will pay but it is certainly expensive for parents or for the student where they take out a loan to do it.

[Update - twins' law exam today was awful apparently so one expects he may even have to do resits this summer. Hopefully it was not as bad as they think.....]

Doing relevant work experience is much better than Tesco if you can get relevant work experience.

Thanks @Xenia for the advise.

I am sure your twins did better than they thought 🤞🏽

I was also told my a friend to let my DC fail - but I used to have major hang ups about at what stage is it ok to do that. Now my eldest is approaching 18 I am much more relaxed with the younger two about "letting them fail".

Your DS sounds like mine. However he claims he can do everything when he HAS to. Let's see. I had a thoroughly spoilt upbringing and managed my own affairs eventually .......