Oxbridge 2021: another 6 months of fretting

[DahliaMacNamara]

Will they make the grades? How will grades be awarded anyway? What the hell are Cambridge up to with that nasty little clause?

Glad you had a lovely day, @Jalfrezi . It is great to be able to see a college in real life. Although dd was in top teenager mode and kept telling me to hush as I was being embarrassing. My biggest transgression was remarking, “Cor, dd, did you just see that most attractive young man in the rowing gear?!” I can see that my chances of being permitted to go to a parents’ dinner are nil….

@DeRigueurMortis Thanks and I really feel for your DS (and you) that the pressure is still on and the seemingly never ending hamster wheel of testing goes on for him. I wish him oodles of luck and that all his practice pays off. He deserves a happy ending after it all.
I totally get what you mean about wondering whether it is worth it all. I remember before DD sat her HAT exam and she barely left her room what with all the practice papers she did whilst simultaneously revising for first set of mocks in Nov and then again the interviews coming at the same time as coursework deadlines and the massive juggling of workload. There is just this overall mental exhaustion. I really had not comprehended that the whole application process would take so much effort and commitment. But your poor DS has an extra hurdle to climb over and stress about. to you for this last nerve wracking few months. I will keep everything crossed for him.

@IrmaFayLear 😂😂

@IrmaFayLear

Glad you had a lovely day, *@Jalfrezi* . It is great to be able to see a college in real life. Although dd was in top teenager mode and kept telling me to hush as I was being embarrassing. My biggest transgression was remarking, “Cor, dd, did you just see that most attractive young man in the rowing gear?!” I can see that my chances of being permitted to go to a parents’ dinner are nil….

@Jalfrezi

Thank you

Well, the deadlines for accepting are approaching so DS has accepted Cambridge and Manchester.
We've pretty much lost faith in the process of the A-level-not-A-level marking and (in particular) moderation (this may be specific to his school, I don't know) but so far as what was in his control, he's smashed it.

He's picked up some back pain plus another injury which are preventing him from either letting his hair down or getting a student-type job so the next thing is to get him healed. I put the back pain down to bad posture/horrible school chairs/stress/tension during the exam period.

Part of me wonders whether it's all been worth it but then I remember it's been just as stressful for his friends who didn't have the good fortune to get the offers they hoped for/deserved - so it's not like there was a stress-free option....

I hope your ds recovers well from his back pain, @FloppyHoldsNoTruckWithFrontedA. Revising in front of a screen for hours on end certainly doesn’t have many benefits for health and well-being. I have 3 dc doing GCSEs and A levels this year and they are all like wan little shadows. Hoping that some rest and relaxation and a bit more time outdoors will fix that. Sending positive vibes to your ds for the final hurdle, @DeRigueurMortis. I hope he can gather the stamina to keep going a little longer.

We had a lovely walk around Oxford in the sun today but were turned away from the College dd1 has an offer for. COVID safety, etc.

@FloppyHoldsNoTruckWithFrontedA

Well, the deadlines for accepting are approaching so DS has accepted Cambridge and Manchester. We've pretty much lost faith in the process of the A-level-not-A-level marking and (in particular) moderation (this may be specific to his school, I don't know) but so far as what was in his control, he's smashed it.

He's picked up some back pain plus another injury which are preventing him from either letting his hair down or getting a student-type job so the next thing is to get him healed. I put the back pain down to bad posture/horrible school chairs/stress/tension during the exam period.

Part of me wonders whether it's all been worth it but then I remember it's been just as stressful for his friends who didn't have the good fortune to get the offers they hoped for/deserved - so it's not like there was a stress-free option....

Bless - I'm sorry to hear about the back injury

@NiamCinnOir

I hope your ds recovers well from his back pain, *@FloppyHoldsNoTruckWithFrontedA. Revising in front of a screen for hours on end certainly doesn’t have many benefits for health and well-being. I have 3 dc doing GCSEs and A levels this year and they are all like wan little shadows. Hoping that some rest and relaxation and a bit more time outdoors will fix that. Sending positive vibes to your ds for the final hurdle, @DeRigueurMortis*. I hope he can gather the stamina to keep going a little longer.

We had a lovely walk around Oxford in the sun today but were turned away from the College dd1 has an offer for. COVID safety, etc.

Thank you - we are counting down the days!

@FloppyHoldsNoTruckWithFrontedA DS also finally submitted his firm/insurance.

After all the drama this was more complicated than we though it would be.

Does he turn down C for the Durham offer for example (even though until now Durham has been a firm no from him - personal reasons not any slight on the University)?

If then what's his insurance....

We've been not just round the houses but round the world discussing the options - maybe that's the issue that he's lucky enough to have option anxiety with 5 offers - something I pointed out to him that some of his friends don't have.

In the end - yes he's decided to go with his initial choice of Cambridge and Lancaster.

The button has been pressed and it's done.

I've always favoured Lancaster not "only" as insurance but through the process before he'd secured an offer for C, so I'm really pleased as I think it would suit him very well (and thanks to the posters who've commented on Lancaster who've said how much their children loved it after being re-directed and those for whom it was a firm).

Three in exams years at once, Niam? Noooooo!

@FlyingSquid

Three in exams years at once, Niam? Noooooo!

It’s been a brutal cocktail of stress, hormones and more stress. Very glad to go to work most days

thanks guys.

he called up his mates and cried (!!!!) over the phone with frustration last week about not being able to do sport.

am telling myself to be glad he has such good mates as most young men wouldn't be able to confide in each other like that, etc,etc,etc.

His younger brother is already asking "whether it's ok for me NOT to get an offer from Cambridge......." to which the answer is "absolutely!"

anyway, it's nice to have a place to moan here as of course our real life friends have their own dcs with their own problems and consider us very fortunate.

Good luck to all those sitting STEP and especially your DS @DeRigueurMortis. My DS spotted on Insta that his college (crossing fingers tightly whilst typing that) are allowing visits for offer holders, so he has booked one for tomorrow. It seems like weeks ago that he finished. He is (half-heartedly in my opinion) looking for a summer job, but finally seems to have some social life going on after what feels like 16 months of it all being on hold.

@RunnersTipple

Thank you.

Well first STEP paper went ok.

Was it enough? - well he thought not given previous grade boundaries and what he thinks he scored.

Upshot we've had a "bit" of a meltdown to deal with.

Struggling to get his head back on the game for Thursday and the next paper.

He's not "my child". He's normally so measured and resilient.

The whole Further Maths FU has just totally destabilised him.

I thought it might have a silver lining in the sense it gave him focus but that's not the case - it's overdrive that's counter productive.

Had to have a firm chat today that the reality is STEP culls 50% of maths offer holders. If he's one of them then he needs to accept that.

This part of the process is rough on all of them, and I really feel for your DS. I was going to ask whether he had any idea how other people did in the first STEP paper, but perhaps it's best if he just focuses on putting his head down and getting through it.

I've had a look on TheStudentRoom and tbh it's pretty polarised with some thinking it was super tough and others thinking it was a lot easier than last year.

I haven't shown him because I am simply trying to get his head in the game for tomorrow.

At least then either way it's done.

@DeRigueurMortis I hadn't realised that the STEP paper led to such a large cull, that is very harsh. Wishing the best of luck to your DS for tomorrow.

Thank you

Thanks for nice thoughts re back.
Osteopath reckons it will be better in a couple of months ie same as time it took to stress it up.

@FloppyHoldsNoTruckWithFrontedA golly that's a long time hope it's not too frustrating especially over the summer when all the kids could do with venting off some post revision steam.

Well final STEP paper is done.

He's again pretty negative that he's done well enough (as per paper 1) but we will just have to wait and see where the grade boundaries lie this year.

Anyway I'm hoping he can at least now let go of the stress until late August anyway.

DH and I are thinking we will take him to visit his insurance place and try and get him more enthused about that as tbh between the Further Maths FU and STEP C is looking like a very long shot indeed.

DeRiguer, I'm sorry that the STEP papers didn't go as well as hoped for. They really are very, very tough. I was rooting for your ds. As you say, at least it is done now.

Thank you.

Truth is who knows how it went really.

Well have to see where the grade boundaries settle this year.

Over the past 5 years or so there's been some big fluctuations so tbh I think it's incredibly hard to predict even if you think you've got a good handle on how many marks you probably scored.

One year 60 might have got grade 1 but the next it could have been over 80.

So it's really just a case of wait an see now.

Thanks again for all the lovely supportive posts and best of luck to everyone.

Hope all the children can relax now and fingers crossed for a good summer!

You're right, it is incredibly had to predict and I think often students can be overly pessimistic. I know dd tortured herself over how one paper went, but it was actually a very good score in the end.

@OhYouBadBadKitten

That's pretty much what I've said to him.

Sometimes thinking you haven't done as well as you need is a sign that you were very accurate and aware of the questions and might, in fact have done better than you think.

Conversely, thinking a paper was easy (as if STEP is ever easy ), or rather went well can often be a sign you've missed the nuances of the questions.

But he's a teen and obviously knows better 😂.

If I'm honest my whole take away from this is that I wished he'd applied to Oxford.

For Maths the process seems far more transparent. Yes, they make far fewer offers, but that's because they have MAT scores in hand.

As such, though you have less probability of getting an offer, you're far, far more likely to take the place.

STEP just seems to be so much more of a lottery.

The grade boundaries fluctuate wildly from year to year based on how many offers they need to "cull" (usually 50%).

Then obviously that cull doesn't translate equitably amongst the collages, so the answer to that is the summer pool for the near misses (which can be a single mark of difference) and yet more angst to see if you're fished out and then to a collage you want to go to.

Sigh....

I've got the sound track from Frozen in my head "Let it go, LET IT GO!!!"

So good luck and best wishes to all and I guess we will pick up again in August!!!