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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Live at home or in halls - the big decision!

81 replies

Igrow · 28/01/2021 21:34

DD has just received an unconditional offer to the university of her choice so naturally we are all delighted.

Uni is 20 minutes away on the train or a 20-30 minute easy drive, plenty of parking outside. Uni halls are opposite the campus so very convenient too. Campus is city centre surrounded by shops bars and restaurants.

DD ideally would like to stay in the halls, it’s £125 a week. Train fares and or parking would be about £30 a week.

DD has her own lovely room at home and a study, we all get on fine.

So, does she live at home and travel in daily potentially missing out on the independence, the social side of things, being able to stay with friends, what about freshers week??

We have a household income of over 60k so she is eligible for the smallest maintenance loan. We are happy to top up that to pay for the rest of her halls plus food and essentials books clothes etc. We have said though that if she lives out she would have to get a PT job to help pay for her social life. If she lives at home then her maintenance grant won’t really be needed and so there won’t be any pressure to get a pT job at all.

So....what is everyone else doing? Any thoughts or advice on the best way to go?

OP posts:

hoxt · 28/01/2021 21:36

What does she want to do? What will make her happiest? Try not to get too involved, she’s an adult (or will be very soon) so needs to start making her own decisions. It’s hard tho.

happytoday73 · 28/01/2021 21:38

I'd normally say live in halls... Not sure I would in these covid times as could end up dead money with very little of the advantages of hall living

Touloser · 28/01/2021 21:38

Live out for the first year, come back home for 2and and 3rd year (e.g when she actually has to work and focus!).

That's what I did - I also had a summer job, and was able to save enough to buy a house (without any help or inheritances) one year after graduation

Northernsoullover · 28/01/2021 21:41

Living in for the first year would help her establish friendship groups. Some of the youngsters I'm friendly with felt cut off. Some did go home for the 2nd year but others loved their freedom too much!

Randomrebel · 28/01/2021 21:51

Can she apply for halls so she doesn’t loose out on a place and keep her options open for now or does she have to pay a deposit right away?

Niece is or was mean’t to be in Halls Sept to Dec but they still aren’t allowed back yet. She’s unsure whether she will get back this year or just continue with online learning at home.

guessmyusername · 29/01/2021 22:14

Some unis prioritise students that live further away for halls if there is high demand so it is worth checking that before deciding.
My dd stayed at home for her whole time at uni and didn't find it a disadvantage. She is still at home 2 1/2 years after graduating and working for a while and doing a masters (online). She is saving up to get a mortgage and get her own place and realised this was the quickest way to do it. It may have been different if we didn't live in a large city with university and employment opportunities, we also get on OK as well. She did have the opportunity to go on a 6 month placement when at uni and could have gone anywhere in the world. We did encourage her to look at these but she ended up 6 miles from home!

Covidcorvid · 29/01/2021 22:21

Did stayed at home. Obvious when covid hit in year 1 I was glad she was at home. But prior to that she felt she’d missed out on making friends, etc. She still doesn’t have many.

She’s never wanted to live in halls though. I think if your Dd does then she should.

partyatthepalace · 29/01/2021 23:04

Unless she really wants to stay at home, I would absolutely say live out. You miss out on so much of the experience if you don’t. Absolutely Shd should help pay for it though.

crimsonlake · 29/01/2021 23:12

As another poster has said...what does your daughter want to do, as it is her decision?

scubadub · 29/01/2021 23:15

I'm in Ireland and in almost all cases like that here they stay at home!! It would be an utter waste of money imo to pay for accommodation 20 minutes away from home!
But then again Irish university students go home pretty much every weekend anyway

TheJunctionBaby · 29/01/2021 23:17

@happytoday73

I'd normally say live in halls... Not sure I would in these covid times as could end up dead money with very little of the advantages of hall living

agreed. My son is due to go to university in September and with things the way they are I'm concerned about committing to halls...

Lazypuppy · 29/01/2021 23:19

Halls 100%

Ime the life experiences are just as important as the education.

McCorona · 29/01/2021 23:19

100% live in halls. She'll miss out on so much otherwise. University is about much more than the academic study.

In fact unless the Covid situation is better by September (I SO hope it is but we just don't know for sure), being in hall might be the only uni social life she gets (it's certainly been that way for this year's freshers).

If she lives at home and is still learning virtually (which is a possibility), she might as well be doing an OU degree. She'd get the qualification but none of the life experience and independence.

SMaCM · 29/01/2021 23:24

DD applied for a local uni. We suggested she lived in halls in year 1 and then lived at home. She ended up going somewhere further away and made loads of new friends in year 1. However at the moment I'm not sure and might keep her home for year 1 and then let her stay out year 2 if she wanted.

BackforGood · 29/01/2021 23:35

Exactly what McCorona said.

It you can afford to support her to live in halls, then she will gain so much from that. I don't want to be insensitive to anyone who can't afford it, but there is so much to be gained by those transient years between being a child at home with Mum and Dad and being an adult once graduated. Living outside of the family home at university facilitates that. Better, IMO, if in a new place altogether, but that is no longer an option if she's chosen her local University.

McCorona · 29/01/2021 23:41

However at the moment I'm not sure and might keep her home for year 1 and then let her stay out year 2 if she wanted

She's an adult. I don't think it's about "keeping" her at home for Year 1 and "letting" her stay out in Year 2.
If she wants to live out and can make up the shortfall in loan, then she can do what she wants.

Card1gan · 30/01/2021 00:01

My DDs first choice is at our local university. If she receives an offer to study Medicine she plans on living out for the first and probably the second year to have a 'proper' university experience. She'll be on placement by the time she gets to the third year so plans to live at home for years 3, 4 and 5 to reduce her debt. This does depend on receiving an offer...!

SMaCM · 30/01/2021 00:37

@McCorona

However at the moment I'm not sure and might keep her home for year 1 and then let her stay out year 2 if she wanted

Of course she's an adult, but it sounds like there has been a conversation about it and maybe her parents are funding it? It entirely depends on the student.

Turnedouttoes · 30/01/2021 00:41

100% live in halls in first year. I didn’t get into halls in first year as they were oversubscribed and ended up having to find people on Facebook to rent a house with.
Two of them ended up dropping out and I found it so hard to make friends outside of our house. Wherever I went it seemed that people in halls already had all of their friends.
She could easily do that for first year and then come back home 2nd and 3rd.

I was in a similar position in that I got the smallest student loan due to my parents earnings. They gave me zero money and I had no choice but to find a job to fund myself as my loan didn’t even cover my rent.

Looking back I was working at my various jobs way too much and not studying nearly enough but I still ended up with a 2:1 in law so it is possible although not ideal!

Beetlesand · 30/01/2021 08:04

Definitely live in halls for at least the first year.

heLacksnotluster · 30/01/2021 08:22

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Spudina · 30/01/2021 08:53

100% halls. You only get to do the University experience once. She will think she missed out later if she lives at home. A lot of friendships are made through the living arrangements.

Lazypuppy · 30/01/2021 09:28

@heLacksnotluster how do you know the OP is going to be paying for the accomodation?

When i went to uni i paid all of my rent, as did most of the people i shared with.

Costs get lower for student houses in 2nd and 3rd year, halls is more expensive but its the best experience and easy to meet loads of people.

As a pp said, you need to have that space away from your parents to have fun, make the silly mistakes, go out, stay up chatting in the communal kitchen till 4am or whatever!

MarchingFrogs · 30/01/2021 09:50

The OP's DD's available maintenance loan is being reduced by about the same amount as the cost of the accommodation (assuming a normal c.39 / 40 week contract), so the assumption in the system is that the parent tops up the loan by approximately this amount in some way. (Although as one pp has said, not all parents feel the need to do this - or, to be fair, can actually do this, if their income is already accounted for by other necessary outgoings). A 'neat' way of doing this is to do what many of us do - pay for the accommodation and leave the student to use their loan for all other expenses.

But yes, definitely live away from home if finances allow (or don't not allow, rather).

The DD has presumably chosen the particular university mainly because it offers the course she most wants to do, as opposed to, because it means that she can continue to live at home, as the OP said to start with that DD ideally would like to stay in the halls. And £125 / week - assuming that one can afford it - is quite reasonable as university accommodation goes, then take off the cost of rail tickets or parking / fuel etc.

Crosstrainer · 30/01/2021 09:53

Halls, definitely. She won’t get the same university experience at home. (Mind you, that’s in normal times - with all the COvid restrictions, it might not be so attractive....)

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