Another path to greatnesses

[chopc]

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

This whole thread is odd! If my mother had been so invested in my uni applications, I would have felt terrible, especially if I'd been "redirected", i.e. rejected. Twee terms like that wouldn't have helped either!

@PresentingPercy money box is a sophisticated saving app which allows for different kinds of investment, saving and money management.

In other news have been having some Imperial, St Andrews, Edinburgh and Durham offers trickling through since the weekend (but not history though).

Any IR for St Andrews?

Thanks @SeasonFinale, that's good to know. DD has her heart set on Durham but still very open minded to a possible offer from St Andrews.

@Sheleg The while "redirected" thing is just a supportive way of helping each other get through the initial disappointment when things are so raw. I'm quite okay to say Dd was rejected from Oxford now, as I'm sure many others are on this thread. I agree this thread can be weird sometimes, one minute everyone's hugging and the next it's quite confrontational. It certainly doesn't get boring.

All STEM/Medicine related subjects so far

[quote Notanotherusernamenow]@PresentingPercy money box is a sophisticated saving app which allows for different kinds of investment, saving and money management.[/quote]
The sentence “money box at home“ doesn’t suggest an app. And to use the money box app you have to be at least 18 (because, investments...) which the DS may not be.

Not, I hasten to add, that I think there is anything abnormal with a 17 year old having a physical money box!

In fact the DS has had the money box “for years” so clearly not the app as he definitely won’t have been old enough to have it years ago.

@ChimneyPot thank you 🙏 much appreciated.

I asked him this lunchtime what he thinks he might cook - 'pasta' said he. I think we may have to broaden his repertoire a bit! He's pretty good at curries actually but DH generally helps with those so maybe we need to get him taking the lead.

I find it odd that people find our thread odd and instead of moving on feel the need to comment... 

But, as you say @Jan069, public forum and it doesn't get boring!

We will need another thread soon! Where's @chopc ? How's everything going chopc?

My point was that we should stop using language that’s divisive and finger pointing. I don’t really care if a dc has a money box with untouched money in it. Nor do I really care if dc don’t like cooking. It makes little difference to future life because most learn to cook something and manage money. Doing it at home is a bonus. Not life defining.

Yes. How is everyone feeling? I do think Oxbridge or not can be draining for parents. However as can be seen, DC are not rejected from everywhere so you do end up looking forward.

@SeasonFinale

In other news have been having some Imperial, St Andrews, Edinburgh and Durham offers trickling through since the weekend (but not history though).

A black cat crossed my path this morning and I saw 2 magpies.

Their history offers are pending. I'm sure of it...

Completely agree Percy. Some kids get into cooking while at home, others don't and it's not any sort of a deal. None of mine except the youngest were encouraged by me for the very simple reason that trying to cook on a daily basis for eight DC is easier when those eight DC are not cluttering up the kitchen! The majority of the older seven have blossomed into exceptional cooks, and the other two manage fine: my maternal negligence doesn't seem to have stunted them at all.

On the terminology around not getting an Oxbridge offer my youngest did point out that 're-direction' emphasizes Oxbridge as somehow special so is the worse for that, because no-one on MN uses that term for rejections from Durham etc. But again, not a big deal.

Fair point goodbye - I think the original intent was to soften the blow but I'm ok with using the 'other R word' now - although I tend to say 'wasn't offered a place'.

I do feel lighter since DS's other preferred offer came through- it is starting to allow me to look forward with excitement rather than back with regret, double thinking everything- if only this, and why didn't we that - because I can see how excited he is. I really hope that will be the case for all of us still waiting for offers - sending 'hurry up' vibes!

I don’t care for ‘redirection’ but Oxbridge is special, or at least, applying for it is. ‘Special’ as in different or unusual. Durham or others doesn’t have it’s own particular application process on top of the normal. The sheer rigmarole of the process require a level of investment that other places don’t, so it’s entirely natural that being redirected/rejected after all that investment may feel more of a comedown than with rejections from other places. It’s a redirection of all that (extra) time and attention.

My non cook DD had to cook her first Christmas dinner in 2020. Obviously it was so stressful she’s definitely coming home next year - lockdown or not. I think I’m appreciated now! However the photos proved she did it. I think she can do 1001 things I cannot do though!

For Y2, DD1s flat of 6 had a rota. Everyone cooked one day a week but not on a Saturday. Took the pressure off iffy cooks and worked well. DD was better at organising student balls. That ended up being a useful skill.

@PresentingPercy that's a great idea- I hope that DS has a similar set up and gets on with the people in his kitchen area.

One lad was in charge of supermarket orders and delivery. They divided the chores up. Yes, I’m sure everyone will get on. Meals for one are a bit lonely! Even if you do a mean meatball!

My DS dislikes cooking, but he can follow a recipe so any suggestions that I teach him to cook have been scorned, He says that he'll cope and generally doesn't want my help at all.
He can use a washing machine and he'll learn everything else like I did. Luckily he has seen my DH do his fair share around the house.
I worried more about my DS1 whose girlfriend wanted to do everything for him.

I agree that they all take their own path and timescale towards independence.

Food for dd is an issue - she has a condition and sensory issues in that she has a very limited diet. She hates it and wishes she could eat more normally especially as it's embarrassing socially for her. And apart from that she's just not interested in food, she eats to live rather than the other way around. She does worry how she will cope at university, but she wants catered halls to start with so she won't have to worry about cooking.

But in many other ways she is very independent. When she was little she always had very good orientation and relate Place A to Place B. She worked out public transport by herself and how to get to various places. I always remember the time I was taking my youngest somewhere and dd was in the car. We went past the library and dd asked if she could go, I said no as we were on our way somewhere else. 'Just drop me off Mummy please, I'll find my way home afterwards' she said. I had to make a quick decision but I let her out. She was about 9 I think. She had a lovely browse in the library and got the bus home by herself.

In later years she thought nothing of travelling half way across the country to visit friends.

In that regard I have no worries about her independence, it's just the food issue.

I've just remembered a funny story - when dd was about 3 we were driving home from somewhere. When we went past the sign with our town's name on it, she suddenly announced 'name of home town'. To this day we're not sure if she was good at reading or Geography

When my niece was in halls in her first year, they had a cooking rota too. My sister’s frugality in bringing her children up paid off in spades. My niece was able to rustle up hot pots, hearty soups and stews on very little money (using wonky veg and other mega cheap ingredients). Her friends loved her cooking and she benefited from them perhaps using more expensive ingredients to produce their offerings.
They all learned from each other though and had a good repertoire by the time they left.
DS however wants catered halls so hey ho!

Durham - E&M this evening. Maybe History will be next.

@PresentingPercy I really hope you just mis-read what I wrote which was to comment on sharing with students in first year who had never even taken a supermarket pizza out of a box so I was not commenting on their inability to cook a 3 course gourmet meal. I was in an all male house with two students who had both been at boarding school including over holidays who had been catered for. One had money to burn the other had their father cut his child support as he was now 18 and so struggled to budget and cook anything even a supermarket pizza.

Also maybe I should come clean and tell you I came from a dirt poor family where we were never taught to cook in case you fucked up the meal and there was nothing else in the cupboards. My Mother refused to learn to cook and my Father who could cook would only ever cook what he wanted resulting in me being severely underweight from not eating since primary school. My sister taught me to cook using food she bought herself from her job working nights in a bar whilst still at sixth form. She could finally become vegetarian as my Father refused to amend any recipe for her, cooking any veg in lard. I enjoyed her company so chatted to her as she cooked and learned by watching her. Not a parent.

And yes Ds has a money box because we have Dads (mine is 80 FIL is 77) who don't trust "the system" no online purchases ever, everything is cash so all birthday money/gifts are cash. Same with his Great Aunts and Uncles. Ds has a Monzo account, so online only, no physical bank to put money in. He keeps the money box as it was bought for him by my Mum who died 11 years ago. It has sentimental value to him.

I still don’t see what taking a pizza out of a box has to do with anything! Mine had take out pizzas at boarding school. Was that a good enough experience?