Another path to greatnesses

[chopc]

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

@OnTheBenchOfDoom ds has allied for modern languages and cultures.

Whew - it was all getting a bit heated a few pages back but seems to be back to normal now.

DS has STILL not heard from Durham, really hoping they come through with some kind of offer soon, although I guess it could easily go the other way now. He does have a nice offer from Exeter so I guess we shouldn't complain, but after Cambridge disappointment it would be nice to have another one to choose from. I guess if he doesn't get an offer from Durham by 12th February, college allocation day, then it may be unlikely?

@Vargas, I wouldn’t give up hope after 12th. Durham are apparently notorious for late offers and their new college allocation thing definitely says they’ll keep allocating in waves till all offers are out there.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t think of 12th as anything other than the date they ‘start’ to allocate colleges.
Hang in there.

@Vargas I think the offers keep trickling out for quite some time yet . Hang in there

Exactly @par05..there will be others in the same boat

Yep and as you said too @Beetlesand they will find their people 😊

DS loved Durham.

He was in Collingwood, first choice, and it was handy for the science site. He played football and cricket, but not as much as he had at school. Also, said that there were just as many students who did no sports at all who were totally happy with their college.

It was a dream to visit, and Newcastle is an easy train ride away if the bright lights called.

And also the supposedly "posh" colleges are not "posh" colleges precisely because the students are allocated to colleges. The uni ensures there is a genuine mix.

tenpastseven - Mine has already picked out the party halls at Bristol WHEN you get to choose your 9 choices at Bristol each type of accommodation is one choice so you can have 5 choices all for the same hall if they offer 5 different types.

@quest1on well done to your dd, fantastic news, she must be a really talented artist.

Welcome back one and all, you have been missed.

Sorry to hear of those who have been arranging family funerals, it's such a difficult time in horrible circumstances and not being able to have extended family round for support. I wish you strength.

@bendmeoverbackwards I completely agree with question's take on this, there are toxic people everywhere not just in one uni. Hopefully people will not stand for this type of shit and find more positive people instead which surely must outnumber the insecure bullies

I really hope so @OnTheBenchOfDoom I have pointed out to dd that you will read negative things about ANY uni if you look hard enough. But dd argues that she didn't have to look hard at all and there are too many negative reports from different people to assume it's something that happens everywhere. Just to say - I have no evidence that any of this is true. I asked dd how Durham have responded to the events and she thinks not well at all. Apparently there was a horrible group chat with some male students, lots of racist and sexist talk etc...you get the drift. Only one of them was asked to leave. She is worried about this.

I can't seem to say anything right to her at the moment - I get accused of minimising. But I still think these horrible events are far and few between when you consider the number of students at Durham.

@Crikeyblimey @Beetlesand thank you both for reassurance. I also just remembered that my friend's son has an offer at Oxford and still hasn't heard from Durham...

Re: bad vibes about a Uni, I told myself that no child of mine would ever go to Warwick due to the horrible scandal a few years ago with young men saying dreadful things about young women on social media, but after mentioning it to a friend she was able to relay several other terrible stories about institutions that ds has now applied to!

On a lighter note if anyone has read the Dolly Alderton book about her life, she went to Exeter Uni, and I swore after reading it that no child of mine would go there as all Dolly ever seemed to do was party and ignore her work...now it's ds' current first choice

@SeasonFinale interested to know which are the party halls at Bristol- trying to get DS excited about Bristol as an option.

@SeasonFinale

DS beginning to look at Bristol accommodation as he is going to firm. He seems to think he will have the ‘best time’ at Hiatt Baker

Yup DS also keen on Hiatt Baker @Applepieco. He thinks they’ll be most ‘sociable’ whereas he thinks Badock is the party hall. He definitely wants to be in Stoke Bishop though. And definitely doesn’t want to be in the City Centre. I have no idea how he’s making these decisions , what research he’s doing. Is your DD on the same wavelength @SeasonFinale.

Disclosure: I went to Bristol in the 90s and was in Manor Hall. I do think it’s easier to feel part of a community in Stoke Bishop.

@Tenpastseven

DS has been ‘consulting’ closely with his older sister (3rd yr Notts), who has lots of friends at Bristol. He definitely wants to be in Stoke Bishop. I’m really pleased that he’s getting excited, after such a crap year for them all!

Nice to hear about dcs getting excited about their other offers, college/ accommodation choices and looking ahead .

DD was in Wills at Bristol. I tend to think Stoke Bishop is best. There are posters who will be saying DC were upset in party halls! However many DC at Bristol work hard and play hard. Falling out of bed into lectures is perfectly possible from y2!

Negative reports about boys at uni (and they nearly all seem to be about boys) are few and far between. Are the positive stories ever reported or even commented in? All your DDs will be fine because they won’t like any laddish boy. They need to be able to recognise them and steer clear. And yes, they can be everywhere. I’m not sure what toxic can mean at Durham? Everyone I have met loved it there. Ditto Bristol and Exeter. One student saying she didn’t work is hardly representative of a whole university. Just like the Warwick boys. The chances of your DC having a poor experience is low. Of course finding suitable friends on your wavelength is key.

Think about it "Students having such a lovely time at X Uni" isn't click bait is it? Scandal, dirt, injustice, that's headline material. It is a bit like when they say "My 8 hour non-stop sex romp fest with X singer of band" because "He was so tired from his gig he just fell asleep" doesn't really sell either.

@Crikeyblimey your son's course sounds really interesting, ah to be young and heading off to uni again. Ds has also put all the bailey colleges at the bottom, he wants a walk so didn't choose a college right next to the science site and is incredibly happy about the botanical gardens. He is also not a drinker or party boy. I am worried but I believe they send you a questionnaire after results day so they can put you with like minded people in your college. I think John Snow has vegetarian flats, I may be mistaken on that, I know they can segregate for religious reasons for single sex flats but I am sure (can't find it now) that they could segregate you for allergies or vegetarianism too.

Re Bristol, my older daughter and one of my twins were at Wills but not because of any party hall thing. They didn't drink and hadn't had a girl or boyfriend before going to university. In fact my son who went to Churchill Hall (also in Stoke Bishop like Wills) asked for a very quiet corridor. He got his request BUT he then decided to change personality when he went and went out a lot in the end so his main friends were on other corridors.

For mine who went to Bristol they wanted a catered hall for year 1. Willis is lovely aesthetically too - I think my daughter said it was designed and built by a man whose child had not got into Oxbridge and wanted to design a place that looked like an Oxbridge college. All of my children picked catered halls in year 1 just because then you meet for meals, don't have to cook etc etc. However we are in covid times so that clearly is going to affect some of these things hugely.

There are quiet and noisy people in all halls in Bristol. I liked the feeling of Stoke Bishop, the fields etc near, the chapel at Wills and that kind of thing. However my twins then elsewhere in shared houses / flats in years 2 and 3 and had a great time too - both shared with people from their year 1 halls as they made friends there in halls (as well as on courses).

As an alternative view, my DD didn't want catered and wanted to be in town. So is at a city centre hall and they have formed one large bubble. She loved being able to walk to pubs (which they could most of last term) and wander down by the river and up to the bridge. She's made great friends which this year are mostly through halls. And she has a beautiful en-suite room that is nothing like my student accommodation!

I actually think it’s a bit of a shame that students seek to separate themselves out into religious groups or vegetarians before even meeting anyone else. You could miss out on the greatest people!!

Regarding doing a law conversion (or whatever the new exams will be) after Durham: this is a well trodden route. DDs boyfriend also did the MLaw at Cambridge which is highly regarded. He’s a barrister and slotted it in after his conversion course /barrister qualification (2 years) and starting pupillage. It’s a long haul !

We know lots of DC who have gone from quiet non drinking home types to drinking clobbers with astonished parents!! All night drinking parties etc. Not at the universities mentioned above but at very respectable RG ones - party cities though.

clubbers. Autocorrect!!!