Another path to greatnesses

[chopc]

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

My vote's deffo for vaccine man.

Vaccine man isn’t on here. I was talking about the people here, having this conversation. I thought that was clear?

Oh, you're ranking the people on here, their rellies and kids.

Dont forget Oxford's Prof Sarah Gilbert studied first at UEA and then Hull.

Kind of. I’m really actually trying to argue against ranking on the basis of how people on this thread value people. For all I know someone on here could be in the process of curing cancer. I am no saint but I try to see the value of everybody.

That’s exactly the thing I am trying to say @Needsmoresleep.

This thread is taking a bit of a nasty turn. What a shame after the previous very supportive one.

Before any further criticism of each other, each other's dc, other universities and so on, please let's remember the point of this thread - our dc have been redirected from Oxbridge and are now considering their options. We all know that many people have had successful careers from lower ranking unis, non RG, ex-polys. But the fact of the matter is that our dc having been rejected from O or C still want a prestigious university and there is nothing wrong with that.

Please let's be supportive to each other!

If you are referring to me it really hasn’t taken a nasty turn. In my world saying that people shouldn’t be harshly judged for not going to Oxbridge, being a banker or whatever isn’t ‘nasty.’

I wasn't referring to you specifically @UnityUnited I was just saying there is a different atmosphere now compared to the previous thread.

I'm not happy to see posters being nasty about each other's actual children. That's actually very horrible, especially if the parents are already feeling disappointed on their behalf (although mine is indeed a little madam).

Here's my position:

There's some very upset posters on here, whose children have been redirected. I think there is nothing wrong with them expressing their heartbreak and disappointment for their offspring. Let them do it if they want and don't be horrible to them. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Do not be ashamed of wanting "greatness" for your redirected child: They made it to an Oxbridge interview with the PS and grades and supra to impress, so they are indeed great(es!). Not being able to suck it up as a parent or child does not make you a snowflake; many Oxbridge candidates (and their parents) have literally spent years prepping for that day. It's a big investment you have made. Your feeling of disappointment are valid.

Choose Durham by all means, but not as an Oxbridge substitute. If you choose it because of that, you'll find that it isn't and will not appreciate its intrinsic qualities. This will prolong the pain of redirection and may induce "butt-soreness", thus diminishing your university experience

Prof Gilbert is a great example of how brains and tenacity can result in ultimate greatness, even if you have to go via Hull.

If Hull does not appeal, do not be afraid of going for something completely different, such as the USA or a completely different degree course that still requires all those A*s but has more places. Science, medicine, vet med and law and are done well all over the UK. This could mean taking a gap year, but your kids are still young. Also if you take a gap year, there is the option to re-apply if you want that gamble.

A final point that has cropped up about the interviews. It doesn't actually matter of you are "wooden" or "lack charisma" (that was really unpleasant outlier - that's her son you were talking about). They don't care how you say it or if you look at the floor (especially mathmo and natsci)

Unless there are overriding reasons it seems logical that DC should aim for as rigorous a course as they can. (Caveats obviously that it needs to be a place they want to live in and a University they want to attend.)

The more rigorous the course the easier it is to open future doors, so it is worth putting time and effort into the decision of which course and which University. However just looking through Linked In suggests that senior people studied in a wide variety of places.

The snobbishness can be tedious. DD is in London this year studying for an intercalated BSc in the middle of her medical degree. One group of girls were openly snobby about the fact she was 'only' at Bristol until they started discussing the pre-sessional maths course, which a couple had found really tricky. No more mention of 'only' Bristol. Hopefully a more general lesson learned about the dangers of judging people too quickly.

You’ve missed my point @quest1on but for the sake of harmony I’m not going to go into it.

I absolutely don’t think the tutors interviewing are “infallible” @Needmoresleep and thought I’d made that clear. It is very hard when a distinction needs to be made.

Moving on-

Of course the DC here want and deserve prestigious universities @bendmeoverbackwards They are all fabulous for putting themselves out there and doing the extra workload an Oxbridge application involves during an exceptionally stressful (academic) year.

My advice FWIW is that unlike in normal years, extra consideration should be given to taking a gap year this year. The current govt proposals suggest that A Level grades may be more harshly marked than last year. As things may return more to normal for the next academic year, the current year 12’s grades may unfairly end up on average higher than the current year 13’s. More pertinent for a high achieving cohort than grades is that it’s going to be much harder to demonstrate that you took a gap year to mature and work towards your reply-application. Not just because there may not be so many work experience opportunities, but because it’s going to be hard to dispel the notion that Covid was a factor in taking a gap year. As that’s something that will apply to everyone, it’s going to be hard for an individual to show they had individual, non-Covid related reasons.

My point is that people forget that this is a public forum and not a cosy chat with like-minded friends in a North London coffee shop. Nobody would deny your desire to achieve ‘greatness’ for your dc. Just be a little more kind and gracious about other children you clearly consider to be lesser mortals because quite a lot of things on here have been genuinely unkind.

I crossed posts with @CinnamonJellyBeans so want to explain something.

It doesn't actually matter of you are "wooden" or "lack charisma" (that was really unpleasant outlier - that's her son you were talking about).

I was speaking hypothetically. I don’t know Needmoresleep’s son and yes I was being harsh because what I was saying is that it’s a situation where some of the real reasons are harsh! To repeat, he is not a current redirected candidate and NMS is not currently upset. I used NMS’s son precisely because it’s clear he’s not upset and is happy with the outcome. For all I know he could have been very charismatic and definitely a narrow miss. There is a whole range of reasons, but without feedback or a candidate being pooled, their mother (NMS in this instance) doesn’t know for a fact what the reasons were. The same applies to my own son should he be rejected, which statistically is highly likely.

You don't need to be charismatic or multi-dimensional to succeed in an Oxbridge interview. Therefore a lack of charisma or woodenness are not taken into consideration. So you are not right.

And regardless of how hypothetical you think you are being, no one wants someone who wasn't even there and has never met their son saying he is wooden or lacking in charisma.

I didn’t say he was wooden, I said he may have come across as such, meaning in the view of the interviewers, which is subjective. You say such things are not a consideration which is great, the tutors are obviously more objective than I thought. I’m happy to be wrong that being wooden or uncharismatic in an interview isn’t a barrier.

NMS’s sons interview was eight years ago, context which contributed to be using him as a hypothetical example.

Big sigh....

We seem to have lost so many of our original supportive posters who we started our Oxbridge journey with some months ago.... I guess they're lurking but not too keen on posting if they think they're going to get caught up in a bun fight.....

@Jan069 sounds about right!

@Jan069 well you're not wrong. Let's try to steer it back a bit.

Ds has been told by sixth form that they are not allowed to set any work over half term so he is feeling the relief of that.

What are your DCs' plans for the half term? Does everyone have the same half term as us? 15th Feb? Ds is planning to watch some films (we are half way through Sean of the Dead having seen Hot Fuzz) play some guitar as he got a new one for Christmas and do some compsci stuff. Apart from that he will no doubt hoover his way through the food in the kitchen

@Jan069 hello 👋🏻 yep that's about right. As pp have said, I feel the original purpose of this thread is being lost in ideological polemic. Anyway...

DS is still waiting to hear from Imperial and UCL. He's made his peace that IF he gets an offer from Imperial he'll be happy with that - and, having looked at the details more (having not really paid much attention previously) and thanks to lovely posters who have shared their London uni experiences, I think he could have a great time studying there.

My only concerns (because I've got to have something to worry about, obviously 🙄) is that if there are a lot of London residents/international students who may not be interested in house shares in year two onwards, that he manages to find some like minded friends to share with. But, his best mate from school is going there so that should help.

I do keep trying to remind myself he hasn't got an offer yet however, and the odds are 7:1 for his subject (and they're not interviewing this year).

He still wants to try for adjustment with C however we have discussed that realistically this year there are v unlikely to be many if any spaces (his course wasn't available in adjustment last year).

At the moment he's saying if he didn't get Imperial he'd consider taking a year to do FM and reapply. DH is not convinced that's the wisest decision. I'm just hoping things open up again so we can plan weekends in Bristol and Manchester (or even some open days- maybe that's a forlorn hope) to show him the other great choices he has.

Looking forward to half term here too!!

Been lurking and reading with some horror so v glad all back on track. My own kids never applied to Oxbridge as didn't like course structure but I support students in school who do.
It's lovely to hear of your DC moving on and making decisions about their next steps. I saw this and thought of you all. Oxbridge are not the only fantastic Unis in this country and lots of v bright students never apply as don't want that style of teaching. So your DC will find their friends whoever they go.
Oh and Bristol is beautiful and fun - youngest is a first year there and still enjoying herself despite covid.

My DT’s both got all A’s at A level but didn’t apply to Oxbridge. They went to Warwick and York but it’s been interesting reading about the process.

Sounds like he has fantastic options anyway Pumpkin and fingers crossed for those other two.

I’ve actually been really made up this week as my younger one (who is dyslexic and wouldn’t cope with A-levels) had an interview this week and got on to a BTEC3 art course for Sept. She really lacks in confidence, but I was so proud of her for contacting the college; sending in samples of her work and doing the interview. She came out saying, “I did it mum,” and I could have cried (if that’s not too dramatic)

Apart from that, they are all bored now. At least DS’ mocks are cancelled for after half-term. I think they recognise the pressure the kids are under and also too much screen time.

That's brilliant news @quest1on , congratulations to your DD!

Ideological polemic You people are funny.