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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Another path to greatnesses

998 replies

chopc · 26/01/2021 05:40

I woke up around 4:30 this morning and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Couldn't get back to sleep so thought I will have a go and starting the new thread. Hope the title is not too cheesy

OP posts:
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Stitchintimesaves9 · 04/02/2021 17:55

Cinnamon -what aspects of Durham do not match up to O and C do you think? I can see advantages and disadvantages tbh

bendmeoverbackwards · 04/02/2021 18:10

I disagree @CinnamonJellyBeans and it's actually doing many dc a disservice to suggest they are settling.

Firstly for many Oxbridge is their dream, if they don't get in they will have to 'settle' elsewhere, what else are they supposed to do? That's not to say they won't have a great experience somewhere else as has been referenced many times on this thread, but at the time it may well be seen as second choice.

Secondly no university is perfect, there are pros and cons of all of them. It's not black and white, but several shades of grey. So there is a degree of 'settling' to some degree.

chopc · 04/02/2021 18:16

I am also interested to know the answer to stitch's question

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CinnamonJellyBeans · 04/02/2021 18:22

@Stitchintimesaves9

Cinnamon -what aspects of Durham do not match up to O and C do you think? I can see advantages and disadvantages tbh
DD only looked at the course differences for her subject (academic vs practical, modules studied) and the potential to work with world-renowned academics. She was very clear that she only wanted to study alongside very highly qualified students. That's why she chose Cambridge.
chopc · 04/02/2021 18:24

Completely agree @bendmeoverbackwards

@CinnamonJellyBeans :

I think Durham as a Uni will appeal to many DC's if the collegiate set up at Oxbridge appealed to them - however I don't think any of them go to Durham thinking they are getting the Oxbridge experience

As I mentioned I would love for my DC to go to Durham but with the course offered by UCL - so choosing either of these great institutes will be a compromise and will involve a level of settling.

Having said this I believe many would have settled for some courses offered at Oxbridge for the Oxbridge name - same difference no?

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 04/02/2021 18:28

So I have some Durham NatSci offers coming through this evening. Anyone waiting on NatSci?

CinnamonJellyBeans · 04/02/2021 18:30

@chopc

Completely agree *@bendmeoverbackwards*

@CinnamonJellyBeans :

I think Durham as a Uni will appeal to many DC's if the collegiate set up at Oxbridge appealed to them - however I don't think any of them go to Durham thinking they are getting the Oxbridge experience

As I mentioned I would love for my DC to go to Durham but with the course offered by UCL - so choosing either of these great institutes will be a compromise and will involve a level of settling.

Having said this I believe many would have settled for some courses offered at Oxbridge for the Oxbridge name - same difference no?

You are absolutely correct about the Oxbridge name - you can see from other threads that their DCs turn down their Oxbridge offers, as they feel there are better courses elsewhere. A lot of medics/vets don't even bother with Oxbridge as they feel other universities offer better courses.
quest1on · 04/02/2021 19:34

“She was very clear that she only wanted to study alongside very highly qualified students...”

Er, if you’re talking “highly qualified” at 17/18, you can only be referring to GCSEs and A-levels, surely Confused. You do realise Cambridge doesn’t have a monopoly on students with the full set of 9s and A*s? Shocking though this may sound. Also, you do realise Oxbridge frequently takes those with fairly middling GCSEs these days - it’s all contextualised. So if she judges people by the evidence of their “qualifications” alone, she may well find she be better off elsewhere.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 04/02/2021 19:42

You are perfectly correct. Most of them have

quest1on · 04/02/2021 20:00

DS might have passed muster with your DD as he has 10 9s and 4 A* predictions, as do most at his school (well 8/9s) But only 4 going to Cambridge. Where will they all go? Doomed clearly. They may even have to manage alongside with those if (shudder) grade 7s at GCSE!

As if GCSE and A-levels are an accurate reflection of innate intelligence, fgs! How short-sighted can you get? At many schools, it would be an achievement to get a 6 or something. Cambridge are realising this. Shame your daughter doesn’t.

MidLifeCrisis007 · 04/02/2021 20:41

@SeasonFinale

So I have some Durham NatSci offers coming through this evening. Anyone waiting on NatSci?
You're gold dust SeasonFinale! Please keep the useful intel coming.... particularly for History offers!

I still can't believe I got a Durham NatSci offer all those years ago. At interview I was asked one academic question and I messed it up (It was "integrate 1/x"). What a numpty!

bendmeoverbackwards · 04/02/2021 22:05

@quest1on

DS might have passed muster with your DD as he has 10 9s and 4 A* predictions, as do most at his school (well 8/9s) But only 4 going to Cambridge. Where will they all go? Doomed clearly. They may even have to manage alongside with those if (shudder) grade 7s at GCSE!

As if GCSE and A-levels are an accurate reflection of innate intelligence, fgs! How short-sighted can you get? At many schools, it would be an achievement to get a 6 or something. Cambridge are realising this. Shame your daughter doesn’t.

I completely agree @quest1on Exam results are only a small part of the bigger picture. Some people have a sting of top grades but lack common sense or intellectual curiosity.
bendmeoverbackwards · 04/02/2021 22:07

@MidLifeCrisis007 you’ve taken me back to A level Maths! I USED to be able to integrate 1/x but I’m damned if I can remember Grin

goodbyestranger · 04/02/2021 22:48

CinnamonJellyBeans do you have any personal experience of Durham?

Also, which subject has your DD been given an offer for at Cambridge?

CinnamonJellyBeans · 04/02/2021 22:53

Only Durham knowledge is the research DD did when applying and open day visit. She's already a student at Cambridge. PM me if you like, as I know you're a longtime poster on the Oxbridge thread.

goodbyestranger · 04/02/2021 23:06

I tend not to initiate personal messages CJB. I was only curious about the subject - but no big deal.

The Durham Open Days tend to be grim and wholly unlike the actual uni experience for some reason, so fair enough to be put off by that. But certainly it sounds as though your DD's evidence for such hostility is very thin.

chopc · 05/02/2021 07:15

@goodbyestranger I asked this in the Durham group as well but no answers yet - do students still feel part of a college once they move out after the first year?

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goodbyestranger · 05/02/2021 08:35

Yes chopc they do seem to, definitely.

Durham is absolutely gorgeous.

mumsneedwine · 05/02/2021 09:22

DD has 6 friends at Durham in 1st year and they all seem to be having a v good time, despite covid. I know one is in Castle (because we all loved the thought of living in an actual castle when she was allocated). All b normal students, mostly girls, and all back at the Uni.

Outlier · 05/02/2021 09:40

DC who narrowly miss Oxbridge offers are very bright indeed

Sincere Q @Needmoresleep what do you mean by “narrowly”? Those pooled? It Or do you simply mean everyone who had an interview and was rejected?

I’m not denying that all students applying are not bright, just wondered why you’re making a distinction.

SnapSnapDragon · 05/02/2021 09:48

What a simple but excellent idea for Durham to ask applicants to rank order their college preference. One of my DS’s friends was very keen to go to Durham, but unfortunately he was reallocated to the one college where he had felt very unwelcome during (pre-pandemic) Open Day. Durham wouldn’t budge on college allocation and he ended up going elsewhere. I’m not saying he was wise to make this decision – I think it very likely he’d have settled in fine – but clearly college choice was very important to him and a rank ordering system would have been helpful. Interestingly, the issue was the opposite to what you might expect given some of the news about Durham recently: his problem was that he thought that the people he met at this college were overtly hostile towards those from independent schools and he didn’t have the energy to fight against this stereotyping.

(I'm not ant-Durham in any way; my brother went there as well as many friends and DC's friends and all seem to love it. And it is so beautiful.)

Outlier · 05/02/2021 10:11

I'd be wary of Durham as an ersatz Oxbridge. There will be a core of butt-sore rejects who try to shore themselves up by finding alternative (and often toxic) ways to demonstrate their superiority and lord it over others.

lol. LSE for example may be very different from Oxbridge but it too will have many Oxbridge rejects, some of whom will also be “butt-sore”.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 05/02/2021 11:39

Completely agree @SnapSnapDragon, Ds was very much of the mind that even if he was offered his last choice college at Cambridge he would take it because, well it's Cambridge. Whereas with Durham you are given one and if it is totally different than what you imagined then it could really put you off.

Ds and I have had to remember what he told me about the Durham colleges and why he ranked them the way he did. He did a spreadsheet of all uni accommodation for his chosen unis but it was so long ago now we both had to recall his preferences.

He wants a hill college as he will be on the science site for Computer Science and he wants an en-suite. He does not under any circumstance want to share. He put all the bailey colleges at the bottom and has ranked his choices based on any possibility of sharing, so those move down to right at the bottom anything en-suite at the top. His original college he is sticking with, very happy with that and submitting his preference listing all colleges.

You don't have to do this at all. You can do an open application or just list one college. But they won't know why you have picked it so I can see why lots of students get annoyed with the system. Did you choose it for its location, or the history of the college, or catered?

He also compiled lists for his other unis. Best website so far for their accommodation in terms of photos/videos, clear details on cost etc, is Warwick. But the 2nd/3rd year commute is putting him off.

And thank you to @SeasonFinale for the offer updates, I may not be waiting but I have friends who are who aren't on this thread. Or MN Grin

Needmoresleep · 05/02/2021 12:01

Outlier.

  1. "Narrowly" was not a scientific expression, but I meant those DC who had the grades, and who would have been capable of thriving at Oxbridge. Perhaps a different day, or a different interviewer and they would have got the place. Perhaps it was confidence. The person before them had had a gap year so offered a year's extra reading and maturity, so landed the place.
  1. DC went to LSE and Bristol, and Butt-sore-ness was much more apparent at the latter.

Before Brexit LSE was about 50% international and 25% EU leaving only about 25% of the student body from the UK. Of that 25% a surprising proportion will be either BAME, or Londoners, or both. Some of DS' international friends were butt-sore about not getting Harvard or MIT. Another friend came from the only ethnic Chinese family in his Welsh village and could not wait to arrive in cosmopolitan London. Three of his friends were East European born, London raised, with parents with relatively poor English and manual jobs, for whom it was natural to live at home. (LSE does very well with its encouraging participation links with local state schools.) You apply. You might get Cambridge, you might get LSE, you might get neither or both. If you go to LSE the one given is that it will be infinitely more diverse, but I don't think many saw it as second best. Cambridge will offer advantages., but even if that is where you wanted to go, there are real silver linings in studying social science in the centre of a world city, with a wide range of course options and all manner of interesting research going on.

Butt-sore-ness was what I assume Cinnamon was alluding to. It can be an issue. If anyone's DC still remains deeply disappointed about not getting into Oxford to the extent it overshadows they enthusiasm for going to what is their firm choice, it is worth considering a gap year. One friends DC applied for one of the most competitive courses at Oxford, and got feedback which suggested he had done exceptionally well, but so had others, and there were simply not enough places. He had not wanted to stay in London but when the summer came he realised that his heart was not into going to Bristol. He took a gap year, had a chance to visit friends in different places, "narrowly" missed Oxford again but had a clearer idea of what he wanted, so ended up happily at UCL studying something slightly different.

In contrast one of DDs friends was still hurting about Cambridge well into his second year. The glittering prizes, the Footlights, the late night conversations about poetry, should have been his. Which stopped him from appreciating what Bristol had to offer. A gap year, and an understanding that he gave it his best shot, would have been so much better,. He got his act together eventually, but lost much of his first couple of years wishing he were somewhere else.

KingscoteStaff · 05/02/2021 12:40

DS currently 1st year Durham. He says that in the first week most conversations started with 'What are you reading and was it Oxford or Cambridge that rejected you?' but says that among his friends it has never been mentioned again.

I agree with Needsmore that a Gap year softens the disappointment if it is proving overwhelming.

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