Oxford and Cambridge current students discussion thread

[sandybayley]

Starting a new one as we filled it up!

Can't believe DS1 will be home in 2 weeks. Must remember to adjust the Ocado shop for when he's back. I suspect we may end up with a few days of his favourite meals 😊

Thanks Hogh I'll pass that on to her.

Happy Birthday to often's DS! I bet light blue icing is easier to achieve than dark blue!

Happy birthday to @ofteninaspin's DS for yesterday. I'm really sorry to hear about your DH. Been there, done that and it sucks. However, after several years of scratching around trying to get his own business up & running, my DH landed a new job in the middle of the first lockdown. He started in September. He was really worried about the commute to Bristol every day (90 minutes each way) but he has worked there 5.5 months and been there 3 times. Stay positive.

@OhYouBadBadKitten I'm sorry to hear about your DD too. It's just so tough for all of them.

In happier news, my DD1 (C) is quite happy back in college. She has been getting involved in lots of schools activities and ended up standing in for the schools liaison officer who got locked out of a zoom meeting. DD was remarkably calm about it all but really appreciated the free meal vouchers she was given as a reward. Work is all online but seems ok. We're having a family WhatsApp call tomorrow where I will no doubt find out more.

Any one with children back in college, please ask them to look out for internationals who arrived late in the last term, or over Christmas. DD's college doesn't seem to have a buddy system to get them integrated. When she got back, the newly arrived one across the corridor knew no one and hadn't even gone to the dining hall, so she took him out and about and introduced him to people. She's only just found another one upstairs (alerted by early morning music and furniture being moved(????)), who knows no one and has been nowhere since November. Shocking.

Oh my goodness @CinnamonJellyBeans, how terribly lonely for those poor students. Well done to your DD for doing the right thing.
Well done to @Malbecfan’s DD too for stepping into the breach.

DD has driven to Oxford today with DH to collect some stuff from her room and her bike. It has taken a while to get permission but I think the return of some chemists and biologists has softened the hardline taken by the college. She has also had an email confirming that they hope/want everyone back in College for Trinity which is encouraging.

@CinnamonJellyBeans those poor students, they must be feeling so isolated and homesick.

DS1 is back in O (dropped him yesterday). He bumped into two of his international friends within 5 mins - a Dane and a Fin. I suspect in small colleges it's harder to get lost as they all know each other.

Good news (for a change). DS1 has got the room he wants. A set of four near the sports ground with 3 others (including the Dane - his tute partner). And his GF is going to be in the same building. Let's hope she's still his GF by next year.

Good luck to those now back in college. I hope there are enough people around to make it not such an isolating experience. When DS2 (O) was at college last term, he was very proactive in inviting some of the shyer, quieter international students to do things socially, as far as was allowed.

He's lucky enough to have a Matriculation photo of the whole first year at his college and seems to know quite a lot of his cohort and it's also been nice for me to see his fellow students.

Poor DS1 (C) hasn't even seen - let alone met - the vast majority of his first year cohort and the college didn't bother with any Matriculation photos at all, which is sad. He'll probably never know most of his year group even by sight and wouldn't have a clue how to choose anyone for a household next year.

Have colleges already started the process of balloting for rooms/ households or was that just for this strange last half of term, Sandybayley?

Goodbyestranger, thanks for correcting me upthread about the difference between Scottish and English university terms. We're still hoping that summer term/Trinity will be back as normal but uncertainty seems to be the only certainty at the moment.

I hope your DS enjoyed his birthday Ofteninaspin and what a lovely thing for his sister to do and bake him a cake.

No one in the media seems to be talking about when students can return to university. It's very odd. It's as though they have been entirely forgotten.

@mutterphore - this was the accommodation ballot for next year. DS1's college offers all students accommodation for all years so is a bit different to some of the larger colleges. He's really pleased with his room allocation as it's right by the sports fields so will be great for rugby and cricket.

Sandybayley, that seems quite early to do balloting for next year, given most students have barely got to know their peers last term.

Both DS1 and DS2 are at colleges that give accommodation for all three years and I thought they'd do balloting late next term, hoping that by then DS1 (C) might at least have met a few more people from his college.

I think DS2 (O) may have an idea about who he'd like to share with but he's not heard anything yet about selecting accommodation for the second year yet.

I seem to remember in previous years DD doing room ballots before the end of this term. She was allowed to go into some rooms to choose which one she wanted, but this was obviously pre-Covid and by arrangement with the current occupant.

We had a video call with both DDs this morning. DD1 was saying that a particular famous and very wealthy Cambridge college has really upset its students by cutting their portion of the bursary by 50% without warning. Obviously it isn't DD's college but she really feels for those who have been unable to return, are from lower income households to be in receipt of a bursary and in some cases actually have to rent privately away from Cambridge, yet are trying to manage on a reduced income through no fault of their own. Being cynical, this reminds me very much of the school meals fiasco; kick the poorest when they are down because those in power have no idea how some people have to manage. I didn't set out to raise DDs with such a social conscience, but I am really proud that they both feel so strongly.

Maybe it's early compared to other colleges @mutterphore but DS1 has quite a close friendship group already. He's in a self contained house of 8 at the moment and 3 of them for next year are from the household.The other is his tute partner who he met at interviews and clicked with right away.

He feels like he knows people quite well because they've been socialising online since the spring. But as I said previously this is a small college who are known for being a bit quirky.

@Malbecfan - disappointing to hear of some colleges being so thoughtless. The difference in approach between colleges is quite stark.

That very wealthy college has barely any students whose parents did not pay for their schooling, so actually very very few poor students there. The bursary has only been cut if you haven't gone back.

TBF, that particular college genuinely looks out for poor students. If any student finds themselves in genuine financial hardship, they do help.

DD's ballot is next Sunday.

@CinnamonJellyBeans really? I know 3 people who went there and all were state-school educated. One I know really well; her parents work in the arts and they really struggle.

DD's college normally takes around 75% state school educated undergrads, which I think they are trying to increase. It's quite sad to think that kids like my DD's chances of getting into a more wealthy college were lessened because of our household income and the fact that we couldn't afford to pay for her education.

@CinnamonJellyBeans, I assume you’re making a humorous exaggeration there re there being barely any students at college X whose parents didnt pay for their education? Last year, from the tables I can see, even the «worst» was 50% state/private.

They call it state/grammar in the stats but the grammar schools are also private. Seriously, there's 4 UK non-private freshers so far and she knows most of them from her massive matriculation photo. The wealth is stunning. Who need TWO yachts! They're all fascinated by her state schooling!

But like I said, the college do look out for the poor ones

DD's Oxford college has normally held room ballots by now but she hasn't heard anything yet for next year. DS hasn't a clue when his room ballot will be held but does at least have friends with whom he is keen to live next year.

DD had a successful trip to Oxford yesterday. Saw her tutor briefly, collected some library books and was delighted to see people ice skating on Christ Church Meadows. Her student house has been throughly cleaned since the Covid outbreak last term, is sporting a brand new roof and some wifi wizardry has been installed in her room. Just need a return date now.

[quote Malbecfan]@CinnamonJellyBeans really? I know 3 people who went there and all were state-school educated. One I know really well; her parents work in the arts and they really struggle.

DD's college normally takes around 75% state school educated undergrads, which I think they are trying to increase. It's quite sad to think that kids like my DD's chances of getting into a more wealthy college were lessened because of our household income and the fact that we couldn't afford to pay for her education.[/quote]
We worked out that being relatively poor and state school would actually work to our advantage; if you have to take some paupers at least they should be brainy.

We spent many days going back and forth to investigate every college and when she chose the most prestigious one, I did feel confident that her grades and supra and bogstandard secondary school would actually make her stand out over the Eton, Harrow, Westminster etc.

I honestly think that if you are poor and brainy, your chances are much much higher. Cambridge does huge amounts of outreach to BME and state school students and her college is especially good. However, getting the message across to parents and children is not easy; they think it will cost more and that only posh people are welcome, which is definitely not the case.

Grammar schools aren’t the same as private schools though. I went to one and was also on free school meals.

The wealth is stunning. Who need TWO yachts! They're all fascinated by her state schooling!

That's interesting because my DS has had the exact opposite experience at his O college. Almost everyone in his bubble is either international or state educated and from very modest backgrounds. He's a bit of an oddity having been at a boarding school. He tends not to join in with conversations about backgrounds and money because he doesn't want to be a twat. I would have thought the days of boasting about family yachts were long gone; sounds like that's not the case everywhere.

(I didn't mean to infer that we had "stunning" wealth by the way!)

I'd agree @SnapSnapDragon - DS1's Oxford college has a high proportion of internationals and state students. Loki g at the latest stats it has one of the highest % of state educated students. DS1 (I think) is in the minority in that he's from a London independent school. Oh and we don't have 2 yachts. We don't even have one yacht 😬

And grammar schools clearly are state schools IMO

A small number of grammars went independent, such as Manchester Grammar, but the overwhelming majority of schools with 'Grammar' in their name are maintained ie firmly in the state sector.

If you mean that kids who attend grammars are well off then there's clearly evidence that grammars have disproportionately more well off students than disadvantaged students. There's a whole litany of arguments about why that's so and for a number of years the leading grammars have been on a major fight back to improve their intake of disadvantaged but academically able kids - mirroring the outreach work of Oxford and Cambridge, but slightly behind that curve.