University 2020 :10: Empty nests warm vests and covid tests: uni parents 2020

[sammyjoanne]

Carry on from MilicentMartha's University 9 thead
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/a4025020-University-2020-9-And-theyre-off-making-hay-while-the-sun-shines?msgid=101075411#101075411

@Frazzled6 if you have a dog it could get very excited about helping to tidy up after the dissection!

My dd has been back at uni since the start of Jan, it’s her birthday next week and we obviously can’t travel to see her and take gifts. I’m just going to put some money in her account but I need a few little things to send her, does anyone have any ideas please

@Yogabear1 someone linked this to me earlier today.

www.marksandspencer.com/colin-the-caterpillar-birthday-cake-gift/p/hpp60262271

I know it’s a bit childish but a sweet idea with extras to share.

Thank you!

@SusannahSophia I love that idea!

I asked dd about small presents and she said anything to do with Cocktails (I brought her a nice cocktail set off amazon for her 18th.. Good if they have a amazon lockers on site). There are lots of nice things on Etsy too. I brought my daughter some pocket hearts at Christmas with the view to sending them to her with little gifts when she returned to Uni but given she's at home I have had the opportunity to send them. Piccys attached. I know my dd loves food(despite being a size 6/8), so anything to do with food is always well received. There are some nice vaporizers available too plus things like incense sticks etc.

With lock down if your DD likes craft, little kits and painting by numbers appeal to some as an off screen activityr games if they are able to mix with flatmates. It is DS's birthday next week and he is getting home baked things, snacks, Lego nanoblock kits! Colin the Caterpillar is always acceptable to my DC though!

Ds2 seems to be surviving, although he is quite jaded by it all. Still looking for a five bedroom student house. Getting up at midday most days. Has fixed his blind! Today he told me he missed "drama", the actors sort... Valentine's was uneventful although a kind flatmate handed out flowers to all, which ds2 was touched by. Managing to chat to his elder brother twice weekly who is marooned elsewhere. Weekly streamed football matches with DH, although DH says he (ds2) is usually quite quiet.

Gritting my teeth that 8th March is going to bring some relaxation of restrictions, especially to do with travel within UK.

I was discussing with DH again about lack of help Ds is getting from learning support. He is now waiting for an essay to be handed back from early Jan difficult to even know what to improve without feedback. I suppose lecturers are snowed under with needy students now that learning support is unavailable.

DS isn't anxious but he is a bit fed up and wondering whether to pack it all in (actually this only occasionally, he is still set on "year 2" arrangements) it's as if you can hear them mentally "rusting up", not bothering any more to organise online alternatives (like books for example) is there click and collect from Lancaster Blackwell's he couldn't tell me...no outings anywhere or walk adventures. He said it would be easier to manage if you knew people to bump into in Aldi or Lancaster town but knowing noone really meant a walk by yourself was just that entirely solitary.

@Nettleskeins it's so hard for them. Ds is still waiting for marks on an essay he handed in before Xmas which is inexcusable. Luckily he's had a couple of others back so he has some idea of how he's doing. He's discovered the library finally, so at least he leaves the house although he says he has varying levels of productivity there. I think they go on walks, but that's about all they can do. I'm not sure how much relaxation there will be on March 8th, I'm not overly optimistic about it. I'm guessing it'll be the summer term before they hopefully have any more freedom. Very depressing term for them all round. Meanwhile dd is about to start her first clinical placement, she's so excited to actually have some different human contact and normality. And I can't say I blame her.

My son's library (post grad law course) is closed due to lack of demand. they did a survey in early September and people did not seem keen to have it open and that seems to have been that! As he is working in a 2 bed flat where his room is not large enough for a desk so is in the living room and his usual way of working in the earlier 3 years at university was get up, go to library, work there all day every day Monday to Friday this is a massive change. I am sure he is coping but it is certainly very different as for him one of his main things and pattern was sitting in the library (with friends) every day all term.

My DS is still awaiting marks from his exams from 3 weeks ago. I guess there are a lot to get through, though. It’s a big cohort doing maths. He still hasn’t got a house sorted for next year but it does look like the 4 boys will stick together at least.

He’s found this term a bit challenging. They had one week revision, 2 weeks of revision and exams then a reading week. So very little structure and with being in lockdown it’s been quite boring. He’s a bit happier now online lectures have started back up but it’s really been dragging, I think. His flatmates have had a few friends visiting, which is against the rules so he’s been staying in his room a lot to avoid being fined, which doesn’t help.

Another one waiting for exam marks (from December 10th) again a big cohort (>750 students) but DDs main subject. At least library is open as DD does like to mix-up study location and likes to be with people.

She is also finding this term more challenging. Statistics labs done on-line with tutor in South America (and dodgy internet) not working well. However has reached reading week so just 5 more weeks of lectures to go (and then end of year exams) and that's first year finished.

Ds2 is in library all the time at Lancaster..it is more that he isn't aware that he could get his own books online, an open Blackwells ON CAMPUS prompted him in a different way than the vast selection online.
I forgot to mention..Ds is playing endless chess, both with his flatmates and virtually. He is joining the uni chess club he says. He says it is a great solace, chess!

Chess does seem to be taking off again. Queen's Gambit impact plus I suppose its a good on line alternative to gaming. DS (on a gap year) has started playing after work with work mates.

@specialted @Nettleskeins
DD just finished her exams on friday. She had two last friday and 2 a few weeks earlier than that. Shes now finished weeks 11-15 in lent term so now has a new set of lecturers this week. Lady called Julie whos a great maths lecturer and also theres a chap that teaches modules which helps students apply for internships and phds which is new.
Valentines the flat ended up with couples chained together for the evening. They had to cook together, dance, drink and do party games.
Shes facetimed my dad with it being his birthday (he celebrated with a covid jab lol). She also doing pancakes today.
Hope your DS2 will get a flat sorted Nettleskeins, and your DS Specialted going to library. DD goes a bit more now. She didnt in first term, but uses that as a change of scenery for her studies.

I spoke too soon, DS’s house share has fallen through and they’re going their separate ways. Now’s he’s got to find someone to share with!

oh no thats not good news @MillicentMartha . Hopefully he can get something sorted

So lovely that they’re making the most of every opportunity. With regards to libraries, DD (fresher) did all her GCSE/A Level revision in different libraries despite a perfectly usable study space (when I wasn’t WFH). It’s what she finds most productive and I’m convinced that she picked her first choice purely because she fell in love with the library. It was all she could talk about. Despite being hugely sociable, I think her dream of uni was spending hours in a beautiful library browsing and studying and while she’s returned to halls and loves the company, the library is the thing she’s missed most so far. The library was open in the first term (is now – not sure?) but booking slots just proved really difficult around her timetable and trying to organise everything else so I think she gave up and relied on pdfs supplied for each module. It’s just never going to be the same as reading the book, imho.

DS's house share also fallen through. Worried for him. He says he might end up in a studio on his own. Not what any of us wanted 😥

Ditto, Mrsbrown. He’s not in Manchester by any chance?

I think there are lots of students looking for house shares if anyone is on the wiwikau Facebook page.

Sorry to hear about house shares. DD is looking with 5 from her halls at the moment, but I think most first years won't have any idea of what to do about second year living. Lots of DD's course are internationals/UK students who stayed put and didn't take up their offer for halls (about a third). Lots of UK and international students haven't returned since going home in December. So many won't have met anyone at all. Universities have to be thinking about this because the normal rules of house shares don't apply. They need to put in place plans for forming groups for house shares, there just won't be enough hall accommodation for second years, but they're risking a huge amount of drop out for this reason alone.

DS arrived home this afternoon, he’s having a huge wobble. Last night when he called to say he was coming he talked about not going back - but that seems to have changed today.

I think he got a bad essay mark which knocked him for 6 but with recorded lectures and no tutorial time he’s struggling to know what level of work he should be producing.

@Eve my DS also had a huge wobble a couple of weeks ago. He wasn't sure where he was going with his degree etc and said he had lost direction. He seems ok now but I really feel it's just so tough for them drifting through the year with not much support from staff or other students being around. . No off loading in the pub or on the football pitch etc. If they manage this year they'll all have done really well .

Afraid not, Millicent. He's in Bristol. Bet they'd have loved their mums to fix them up