University 2020 :10: Empty nests warm vests and covid tests: uni parents 2020

[sammyjoanne]

Carry on from MilicentMartha's University 9 thead
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/a4025020-University-2020-9-And-theyre-off-making-hay-while-the-sun-shines?msgid=101075411#101075411

DD going back to Lancaster in 2 weeks time. She was resigned to staying at home until after Easter but her good friend and housemate is really struggling at home with low mood and doesn't want to go back on her own.
It's difficult as we're trying so hard to follow guidelines but they're suffering. They've both had COVID already and are very strict about following the rules on campus (County townhouse but definitely wouldn't have been among the 78 at the party!!)

My Ds is in County Main in a flat.
I think there is no NEED for them to suffer at home especially if they have had Covid. The rules permit you to "move house"! You don't have to be suffering to move house, you can move for whatever reason.
It is quiet and there is nothing much happening but at least you can talk to your peers Sometimes. DS also had a history project which involved finding something historic in Lancaster itself related to Colonial exploitation and it was powerful/searching to be in the physical district.

I'm avoiding shops and garden centres for no clear reason, and sometimes you do feel you are cutting off your nose to spite your face...which is why Im glad Ds with less scruples insisted on going back .it makes no difference to anyone if he does except to possibly increase the profitability of at least some local businesses!

It seems that slowly lots of students are returning to uni. I think psychologically they were all happy to stay at home until Feb but when the goalposts were moved to March it suddenly seemed a long time to be at home. Plus I know Lancaster finish for Easter on 19 March so they'd literally only come back for two weeks then term would end .

Thanks @choirmumoftwo @Nettleskeins @specialted for the reassurance. My head says it would be good for him to be on campus, in the uni environment with his housemates etc making the best of the situation. We are to do a food shop tonight to save time going to Sainsburys in Lancaster on Sunday and avoid the one way system . Hopefully the weather will not be too bad either.

I do wonder if any of the students that are waiting until the 8th of march will stay during the Easter hols until the end of the summer term? Theres 2 thats still left to go back to daughters Townhouse, so wonder if they will stay or not. Not sure whether DD might want to stay there or come back for Easter tbh.
She might make the Easter hols shorter with us most probably from 4 weeks off to 2..

@Thatsnotmine DD went back to Lancaster on 2nd January and has not had any problems! She has learning needs and finds the atmosphere there better, although like others have said, she has had some wobbles with the intensity of lockdown. She was in catered but has negotiated a refund on the food element of her accommodation as the catering offer has been pretty terrible (if understandable) to be honest. She says more than 50 %of students are back

@sammyjoanne I think the contract we have signed for the townhouse states ds has to move out for 2 weeks and that everything needs to be out the house as well. I'm not sure with Covid19 that's still going to be the case so Ds will need to email the accommodation officer. @BCBG that's good news for your Dd about the refund and that 50% of students are back i think most of Ds housemates are back or at least that's what he's saying

Dd will stay over Easter especially as she has already missed so much and has assessment deadlines in April.

I just spoken with DD today. She had an update. she didnt get her scholarship fund in november (Totally her error, she didnt check that she needed to give them her bank details) So shes getting her November and Febraury payment on the 25th. And her physics scholarship is due next Thursday. She wants to use them for any future internships abroad.
They had a t-shirt party last Saturday where they have to write in sharpie untruths about that person. All nice and fun, nothing in malice.

She didnt sleep much last night. Loud music going on outside in the courtyard nearest the townhouses facing the road, so bet @specialted your DS would have heard it too. I did ask if it could have been the pied piper of Grizedale again (back in the days of early Michaelmas term), but shes wasnt sure.

As for Easter, I did ask about this because of her 2 flatmates not due back until the 8th March will be staying on till the end of term; and shes said if Bojo doesnt do the staggered leaving, then she will stay an extra week (and some others in her flat come back a week early). This is so that 2 people that are staying will only be on their own for a couple of weeks instead of all 4.

@Lizs I dont blame your DD for wanting to stay over Easter. hopefully things will be picking up by then and its a lot nicer weather, and at least have none essential shops open (I hope)

@sammyjoanne will quiz ds about music!!! Glad dd got her scholarship money sorted. Ds certainly was v grateful to get his! Especially as they've cut back on everything for next years Intake

Dd in Edinburgh went back mid-Jan for a several reasons, although all teaching is online. Their teaching ends 2 April and would normally have exams after Easter, but she has none nor her flatmate, so both planning to leave for the year then, to return in September. Is this not similar elsewhere? I was wondering with the talk of coming home for Easter. I know the Uni where I work is only just starting semester 2 next week so their teaching will finish later.

Dd2 halls are offering to not charge for accommodation if they don’t return. All her stuff is there (including course books) which is frustrating but she’s not keen to go back. Needs to sort next years flat too

Apparently flat rentals get sorted later in Edi than elsewhere (festival-effect?) - May is more usual. Dd and friends have tried to arrange some viewings but one agency said come back in 2 months. They have sorted out using the Uni guarantor scheme though as one of them is from outside UK, so they all need to use it (us off the hook!). Looking online has given them something to do.

@specialted yeah Im glad shes got that in place. She wants to try and get an internship sorted for end of term in June for a month with the uni. Last year some first years got an on line internship looking at star systems and analysing data so shes going through her course advisor in the CV and has approached the lecturer who organises it. He has said it is down to funding though, and is hoping to get it again this year. So is still a bit of what ifs at the moment.

Not sure what will happen with my dd yet, waiting for announcement on 22nd. She's at home at the moment, no plans to go back before Easter but the accommodation waiver is only till the 8th March and I can't see them extending till after Easter but at least its 8 weeks rent she hasn't paid which is better than nothing.

She looked at an internship in Japan (6 weeks) but it starts too soon in June and she does not finish until 3rd July. Most other Internships are too long (10 to 12 weeks) and she's got holidays etc planned so I think it's a no goer unless the local pharma company she did work experience at are happy to offer her a few weeks lab work.

@sammyjoanne @specialted @Nettleskeins @choirmumoftwo and other Lancaster mums - are any of your D.C. reporting increased police presence on campus? My DD is finding it very stressful and says that there are unannounced 'visits' to student accom going on where porters are letting police in. To give context, she says she walked back from library to her flat yesterday and passed three separate sets of officers standing at various points along the route. It's made her feel very unsafe. I've suggested she raises the question with the uni but she's understandably apprehensive about putting here own head above the parapet, even though with ASD and ADHD her anxiety should be well known by them. Can't remember who on here was a staff member at LU but would be very helpful to get some perspective if possible please.

My son who is studying (post grad) in Bristol is back there as we paid the rent for the whole year and his friends are there. I think khe might come home a bit early for Easter as his final exams for this year are the week after that and he did come back for his final (of last term's ) exams held in December as he can have a large warm room to do them in at home which is very quiet - like an exam centre which is small Bristol room is not although he did a mock exam online perfectly well from Bristol yesterday.

He is not on a campus, just in the middle of the City and has not mentioned any police issues. I would have thought having more police around would make most people feel more not less safe however.

@BCBG yes ds has mentioned an increased police presence day and night on campus. He's not said it bothers him but I appreciate it is intimidating for some.

@Seaglad

Apparently flat rentals get sorted later in Edi than elsewhere (festival-effect?) - May is more usual. Dd and friends have tried to arrange some viewings but one agency said come back in 2 months. They have sorted out using the Uni guarantor scheme though as one of them is from outside UK, so they all need to use it (us off the hook!). Looking online has given them something to do.

I’ve seen a nice one available for dd2 but it said May.

Just talked to Ds2 now and he said he hadnt noticed the police....anecdotally though he imagined Friday night is when they are on alert.
I would find it quite upsetting if I was your dd though BCBG, something about the presumption that you might be doing something wrong just by walking on campus. I presume there are some students who feel safer With a police prescence on a dark evening. I suppose it is about them engaging positively with the students beforehand, difficult if you are avoiding chats.

I guess it would be difficult to complain that a police presence made you feel unsafe, as the counter argument would be the complete opposite, that more security should make you feel safer so long as it is proportionate. The fences around Manchester accommodation was supposed to be for the students’ security, but that didn’t go down well, either.

DS still hasn’t got a house for next year. They have had a whole week off in which they could have sorted it but there you go! If they end up with somewhere really grotty or expensive they’ll only have themselves to blame.

He’s starting semester 2 tomorrow so (online) teaching should still be going on until after Easter. No results from exams as yet. I’ve given up on the idea of visiting him during term time, sadly.

I think it's a neurotypical response to equate increased police presence with safety - in DD's head, the logic is that they are there because things are unsafe. Autistic students sometimes need explanations that may seem obvious or unnecessary to others. All I'm trying to do is work out why they are there and what the aim is. She obviously doesn't feel comfortable asking that question herself

@Seaglad @TheDrsDocMartens I think rentals may be available from May/June this year as festivals unlikely to happen. Normally tenancies are from end August. Dd has noticed police around Pollock last few days and says a reasonable number of students are already in residence.

@BCGB, I don’t disagree that’s how it makes her feel, and I can understand it and have sympathy. I just think it would be tricky to get the uni/police to change their policy. Badly written by me, I didn’t mean it as criticism. My DS2 has ASD, but he’s not ready to live independently at 21yo so I have a lot of admiration for your DD’s bravery.

thetab.com/uk/lancaster/2016/05/26/life-campus-cop-lancaster-7002

An interesting article from more innocent times