Oxford and Cambridge current students - discussion thread for anyone with daughters, sons etc there for Michaelmas 2020 (and not just freshers!)

[DadDadDad]

A continuation thread for those attending Oxbridge for the first time this term, but it makes sense to throw it open to anyone with a DC there (or other family member, or maybe you're a student yourself or teach / work there - all welcome!) Share your thoughts and questions on college life, courses, etc. A certain virus has made it a bit different for everyone this year...

I have a DS who is a fresher at a small Oxford college in a small subject. We will be taking him there in just over a week.

If he plays sports then he probably wouldn't have the storage he needs for more than a couple of days then Snap
Don't take to heart our provisions. I'm definitely an over thinker. I have the sort of imagination that envisions all sorts of catastrophes. In dds first year I sent her off with a tool kit in case the legs on her chair broke. 😂

I've wondered whether they'd be able to receive parcels from the Plodge. I guess they can always ask non quarantining friends to deliver post to their household door? I think if it came to that I'd be packing in an extra bar of chocolate for the delivering person (I guess in a seperate parcel)

I've wondered whether they'd be able to receive parcels from the Plodge.
DD is a second year at C. Last March, one of her corridor friends got coronavirus (untested, but must have been), and he was isolated in a room near the Plodge. They took it in turns to fetch his post etc, and leave it outside his quarantine room. So I expect if you sent a parcel this term, it'd get through, just like last term.

Thats splendid to hear :)
dd has more info about the situation in her college. Bedders won't be going in, but they will have clean bedding provided. That relieves some of the washing pressure.

Lovely to read of the excitement on the thread as they start to get dropped off. DS goes on Wednesday. Can’t believe the day has nearly come, having been anticipated so long. I hope so much that they can all have a good time despite all the covid cr*p.

There is no way the teeny gyp DD has could do anything other the most basic of heating up in the microwave provided. Tiny cupboards for provisions ( I’m talking too narrow even for a dinner plate). Fortunately college seem to be on top of the catering and full marks to the Freshers’ reps who have organised lots of outdoor small group events and evening remote collective stuff online through the week; much more than DD was expecting and she’s lapping it up.One relieved mama here. Complete opposite for DT2 who is now totally used to police patrols from 6pm on campus and minimal “formal freshers” ; is it any surprise they will have made their own entertainment?

Dropping DD at large-medium-sized college this week. If the government says they can't go, we'll be pulling a Cummings and taking a wee drive to test our ability to drive to Scotland.
No way will my DD accept not making it there, after being so close.
Has her family now (mum and dad) and a few siblings. Lots of lovely plans already booked: college tour, punting, trip to boathouse and lots of virtual events including a fancy dress party. Households can meet in person then zoom with other households. They're being positive and inventive. Definitely more on offer than simply bar hopping or clubbing this first week.

Also, what does it mean - this 'family'? Is this his household group for the entire first year with whom he might be quarantined, if it came to that?
The "household" for pandemic purposes is based on the location of the rooms, specifically the sharing of bathrooms and/or kitchen. The college family is a social mentoring system. For most students there is no overlap between the two.

How many, if any, of the group should be second years and should he wait for one of those - if there are any - to contact the freshers in the group?
In DS's case, his college parents (both second years) had given the college permission to share their details with DS. The college didn't give DS's details out to them, so it was up to DS to initiate contact.

@Coleoptera He shouldn’t worry. The family is usually two or more second years and a couple of “siblings” ie your DT and the girl in his subject. Could be more than two siblings or parents. It is just designed to give the freshers some contact points. In a normal year they would go out for a meal and also the parents would maybe put a bar of chocolate in the “children’s” pigeon hole to say hi or whatever. It is unlikely to be the household as this will be based on where they live and who shares a gyp or kitchen etc. Dropped DD off today (C) and they have clear identification of which rooms are in each household. All the colleges will do it a bit differently but the family is not that significant.

Cross posted with ironoaks

DS sent a message along these lines...

"Hi, I'm Thor, I'm about to start first year studying Norse Mythology. I got an email to say we're college related. My number is 01234 567890 - maybe we could start a college family group chat?"

FingernailNibbler I'm with you. I can't imagine not driving to Oxford and depositing at the door, reagdless of official advice. DD4's packing is exquisite, an art form, it can't possibly go to waste (fast running out of room in my camper van for any kit for DS4 - his problem, he hasn't started putting even the first thing in a box).

@goodbyestranger agree completely. After a slog of almost exactly a year (since PS/application) deadline, that would be most cruel!
And I would love to see your DD's "exquisite packing" I'm definitely a packing geek (actual goosebumps from the frisson of vacuum storage bags) though DH is much better at boot Tetris! I am hopeless in 3D!

From the other side of the “college family” conundrum, DD is a mum this year and was completely thrilled to hear from her “child”.

DS is nearly packed. DD hasn’t even started...

You can throw a laundry tab in any machine!

DT1 has only just got his college family - which is 4 girls and him! He would have been happier if there'd been one other male.

DD (O) has opposite problem, 2 college dads and 2 brothers.

The 2nd years were v sweet and helpful when she first contacted them but as soon as it expanded to group chat it went laddish in a way she's never been exposed to before. The fresher boys started teasing the two dads about consummating their marriage, and asking repeatedly about their 'biggest concern' of not being able to get action due to 'rona' so hoping the girls in their households are up for orgies.
It's scared her a bit so she's stopped reading it and wants to avoid her "family".

@deFleury I think she should contact the parents separately and suggest she be moved to a different family. I don't think it's OTT to also say that the focus on hook-ups and (playful) wish for orgies with household mates is really inappropriate. I think the parents should be having a quiet word with the children, perhaps individually. The world has changed.

Ugh, that's so disappointing @deFleury. Your poor DD.

The sense that the boys are hunters and the girls prey just rankles me. I think it makes an intimidating and unpleasant environment for her college family and a mixed family would be better.

A message like "hey guys, red card, don't forget your sister is in this chat!" would probably work but I could understand it if she'd rather have another family. Shame the Dads didn't stamp on this 'banter' immediately.

She sent a lighthearted message about feeling awkward after the orgy comment. DS (who helped her compose it) said a message like that from a girl would give his friends pause, but it didn’t work on one college dad or the fresher dudebros. One dad did go quiet after that and I shall suggest she contacts him separately, thanks for that idea.

She asked a frep who made contact if change of family is possible. He said no but she could have a separate buddy. She said “I’d like that if I could possibly have a girl?” and got a pious reply about it being preferred language to request someone “who identifies as female“ so she gave up in exasperation.

How horribly off-putting. But I expect she'll be spending her time with her "household" bubble anyway, not with those random people.

@DeFleury I'm so sorry and really upset on your daughter's behalf. This is a very uncomfortable welcome to one of the top universities in the world. In an environment where unis are being called out for groups of male students behaving inappropriately (whether spiking drinks or misogynistic 'banter'), I would think the college wouldn't be too happy about this welcome. This isn't why families are set up. Glad they won't be going to a club together. I can envisage these boys seeing her as a target after a few drinks.
And "identify as female" my arse. She is within her rights to ask for a female family member, especially after this inauspicious start to her family "onboarding/welcome" experience.