Oxford and Cambridge current students - discussion thread for anyone with daughters, sons etc there for Michaelmas 2020 (and not just freshers!)

[DadDadDad]

A continuation thread for those attending Oxbridge for the first time this term, but it makes sense to throw it open to anyone with a DC there (or other family member, or maybe you're a student yourself or teach / work there - all welcome!) Share your thoughts and questions on college life, courses, etc. A certain virus has made it a bit different for everyone this year...

I have a DS who is a fresher at a small Oxford college in a small subject. We will be taking him there in just over a week.

Sorry about DS’s positive test Dad. Hope he is feeling better soon.

Any other parents of C engineers on here? Is the workload as bad as natscis’? My DS is drowning. And he literally doesn’t leave his room for days on end. It’s utterly miserable. I’m afraid I can’t look on the bright side as per admonition upthread. DS is seriously wondering whether C is all it’s cracked up to be, as friends elsewhere seem to be having a much better time.

PS I have also just lost an elderly relative so that is probably contributing to my gloom. Apologies.

@PantTwizzler I am very sorry you are going through a tough time.

My DS is doing an arts subject but in his first term through so so many hours at work and was drowning. He worked longer hours than his scientist friends and it was noticed within his household group. He was burnt out by this time in term 1. I encouraged him to reach out to hisDOS and tutor - they were amazing and encouraged him to work less. For him it's been a learning curve of finding a better work life balance. A year on he works hard, but is much happier and doesn't pour the hours in he did last year.
No idea if this is helpful but thought I would share.

sorry to hear that, PantTwizzler

DD is a 4th year engineer. Yes, it's a tough workload - at least as much as the NatScis as far as I know. But it's certainly possible to achieve a good work-life balance and have great time. She's got quite disciplined about getting to bed at a sensible time on weeknights and socialising at weekends - and more of that when there outside of full term. (Although I mentioned vacation not being all holiday it obviously isn't anything like as full-on as full term.)

It's worth remembering, the big fun events are all in Easter ie summer term - picnicking on Jesus green before exams, then May Week (in June, after exams) - balls, garden parties, the cardboard boat race. Let's hope between vaccine and seasonality those things can go ahead! (But if not this year, I'm sure they will after that).

Not getting out for days on end doesn't sound great. Walking or cycling equivalent to getting between the hill colleges and the department should fit into an engineers schedule for sure.

I'm sorry Pant.

Engineering is a very heavy workload, with a lot of hours and this term is a difficult adjustment at the best of times. I think it's about working efficiently but deciding at the beginning of the day how much is a sensible amount of work time, given that food, sleep, exercise and something fun each day are essential too. Then being really strict. Work time is work time, the rest of the time is time to let your body and mind be healthy.

dd also looked at friends at other universities having lots of fun in her first year and wondered whether she had made the right decision. When she found a good work/life balance she suddenly found the work much easier and could get through it a lot faster. It takes a massive leap of faith though.

It's also week 5 I think, and the week 5 blues are real.

Thanks, Pant, for the good wishes. I think DS is just struggling with the monotony of being confined to his room as much as feeling a bit rough.

I'm sorry to hear about your DS and your relative. My hunch is that in terms of workload there will be ups and downs, and he should hang in for better times ahead. I think if you are someone who was good at subjects such as Maths and Physics at A level, where a lot comes easily, it's a bit of a shock to find there are things that one struggles to understand.

Your poor lad Dad I hope he feels better soon.

Thanks, all. It’s certainly true that DS has never really had to work hard before so that in itself is a shock. And without any mitigating social or sporting activity, it’s pretty remorseless.

Sharing sympathy @PantTwizzler. DD messaged last night, she’s worked harder in the last 5 weeks than GCSE, A levels and Cambridge prep combined. Definitely feeling the week 5 pressure. Her week “ starts “ on a Thursday after supo and topic set for her essay so the weekend is peak work time for her . No hockey even now to mix it up a bit. She needs to work it out for herself..
Also can’t see why rooms need to be cleared, maybe it’s insurance cover or something?.

DD put quite a lot of thought into choosing between Gen eng at Cambridge and her second choice which was EEE. She knew the former would be harder - greater range as well as intensity. She knew she'd probably be somewhere in the middle of the cohort at C versus the top end at her reserve. But those were pros not cons!

What is the point of going to university and doing something which isn't difficult?

PantTwizzler my own DC all had to find a way of adapting to the workload of Oxford in their various subjects and most seemed to take a while to master the art. I certainly don't think any would claim they achieved that in their first term. It's critical not to overwork, but this particular term with fewer outlets for play will make finding the right balance much, much more difficult than in a normal Oxbridge term. Poor DS.

What is the point of going to university and doing something which isn't difficult?

DS feels that the difficulty of the work is about right - it's the volume of work that he has begun to find challenging. In my opinion, the actual issue is his own rigidity in how thoroughly he expects to cover everything. I think the ASD contributes to this.

PantTwizzler, sorry to hear about your loss and it does make things so much harder generally when you're facing anything like that. I've heard that Engineering and NatSci are amongst those degrees with the biggest workloads.

DadDadDad, I hope your DS feels better soon. The hardest part so far for my DS1 and DS2 has been having to stay in their rooms for two weeks of isolation but it will be over soon and of course your DS has the added challenge of being ill too - poor thing. I'm glad he's at one of the more nurturing colleges who look after them properly in isolation.

I'm slightly worried hearing about the heavy workloads that some people's DCs are having. DS1 (C) seems to have a very manageable amount - ie one longish essay and one short essay per week and reading of course but I don't get the impression he's needing to work very hard - just enjoying the week's timetable of gearing up towards supervisions and essays and then relaxing back into the reading and essay planning for the other part of the week. He gets out most days for a bit of exercise and to buy some food.

DS2 has always thrived on being very very busy and has also had about 4 times as much work as DS1 - but he's really enjoying it. He gets up early (for a student), goes for a long run, has various study slots booked for libraries all over Oxford - having worked out a very structured day and week for himself - and is apparently 'well ahead' in his essays. He's also still able to do lots of extracurricular things and socialise as well and I would say he's totally in his element at last.

DS1 however, tends to get his essays done about 30 minutes before the midnight deadline (and his supervisor is very relaxed about them doing essays anyway and is way behind in his marking too!) However, DS1 is now on his last longer essay of the term and then has very little - by comparison - left to do until term ends, although he says he might choose to do an extra essay. Obviously it's a bigger workload than most universities but I think he's having a much easier time of it than the hard working engineers along his corridor and NatSci students too seem to have off-the-scale expectations by comparison.

I asked them both about Week 5 blues/work pressure and they say they're not feeling that at all and that having been locked up for two weeks in isolation, early on, they're relishing the freedom now - by comparison - and making the most of this and just feel very happy to be where they are.

I know DS2 has college Collections after the vacation but his very supportive 'college parents' have said not to worry and it's no big deal and I think he's already 'revising' alongside his weekly essays. I don't think DS1 has any kind of exam until the summer term - Tripos 1 (?) and I've suggested that he might need to do a lot of reading in the vacation but his supervisors so far haven't mentioned any expectations yet.

So I'm slightly concerned that DS1 isn't doing enough or expected to do that much but as both of them seem to be in a good routine and happy with their work (despite a lack of social contact for DS1), I'm hoping that they'll not feel suddenly overwhelmed later on.

Sympathies @PantTwizzler and I hope things work out for your DC @DadDadDad.

DD used to have to clear her room other than the lockable cupboard for every vacation so that they could be let out for conferences. Those aren't happening so she has been told to leave her room tidy so it can be cleaned. They have to clear the gyp so she will leave all her pots & pans in her room.

Re workload. Yes, there's a lot. First year was tough but she evolved a way of working and still enjoying sport and socialising. I agree with the comments about using supervisions for clarifying understanding. In her 1st year, there was a Maths lecturer that DD said just confused everyone. Apparently the supervisor rolled his eyes and said "X again? We complain about them every year but nothing changes." then he explained it to her so she understood it.

The Christmas vacation has always been worked through. DD allows herself a couple of days off but plans everything out. Easter is invariably revision. In the summer, she has worked or taken an internship. This year she weeded our courtyard and wrote a paper which has been accepted for publication. Oh, and she has slept A LOT! Do not underestimate how exhausted they will be when they come home. DD also seems to bring every item of clothing back needing to be washed. I must remember to do all our washing in the days before she comes home...

There are huge disparities in the weekly reading lists for DD’s history contemporaries at her college depending on which paper they’re doing but no one seems to be cruising..quite the opposite.

I do hope DadDadDad's DS picks up soon.

Just to digress briefly, DS3 has sent the family WhatsApp group five stills of himself in The Crown, in the scenes set in Oxford, with Maggie. He's very prominent :) Lots of shots of him by the RadCam, outside the Bodleian, in the Bodleian (all white tie) and in a panelled chemisty lab (lab coat, less dashing). Fame at last....

ooh how exciting goodbye..will watch even more keenly! Just watched ep 2 and feel very much team Maggie, not something I ever expected i’d say !

Oh dear hobbema because DS3 apparently had to shout rah rah rah at Maggie at some dinner in a not very nice way.

@hobbema

ooh how exciting goodbye..will watch even more keenly! Just watched ep 2 and feel very much team Maggie, not something I ever expected i’d say !

I've not watched any of The Crown - apart from goodbye's DS, is it worth seeing?

There was a bit in a recent Spitting Image which had me vaguely wishing for a return of Maggie versus the present shower.... that's damning with faint praise!

How exciting goodbye! D1 has seen a casting call which came via I think the drama soc, for a new BBC version of Brideshead (I know, another one) - she would be keen to be an extra if there's an opportunity for that.

With the end of iso in sight, unfortunately another member of the household has been in contact with someone who has tested positive. She thinks this means she will have to start a new 14 days iso along with the rest of her household. No news yet on end of term procedures, she is a bit anxious about some colleges producing strict times for households to leave and coordinating this with train times. Train timetables seem to be provisional at the moment, and the few services which are available are fantastically expensive.

What was wrong with the 1981 version? But all these things are clearly fun to be in.

Another 14 days? That's very, very bad luck.

Yes, trains atm are far too pricey.

Goodbye, that is very cool and very exciting for your DS3! I haven't watched The Crown but when I get more time intend to watch the whole series and will look out for him on that episode!

Jules, that's so awful for your poor DD having to isolate further almost at the end of her first stint. DS1 and DS2 were and are very worried that they might at some point be locked up again like that and I hope your DD is getting good support from her college - and I don't just mean practical support. It's quite torturous for young people, far from home, to be stuck in their rooms for protracted periods. Is she with a supportive and friendly household who can cheer each other up and keep in touch?

Spoke to DS this evening (our second video call this term) and the workload situation seems to have settled down.

Today the college had a Zoom afternoon tea and provided biscuits for them (via pigeon holes).

Hi everyone. Infrequent poster here but I do follow along.
DS's Cambridge college have been told today of a plan to reallocate rooms next term and they've asked them to fill in a form with details of any friends they want to be grouped with. Has sent him into a bit of a tizzy as he's already got a bit of week 5 blues, and he's worried about losing his room.
Has this happened anywhere else?

DD's College were all in single room households until lockdown 2 began. Then they announced they would be put in larger groups for the rest of term based on staircases, then possibly reallocating next term & shuffling some rooms. DD has had to remain in a single household so that she can come home for a funeral this week. Like your DS, she is torn, as she quite likes her room.