UEA (2019) dealing with the unexpected and on to 2nd Year

[juicy0]

New thread for the parents of 2019 freshers. Thank you all for sticking around!
At the start of the year we never would have guessed the topics that are currently being discussed in this page but I'm grateful we still have each other to help navigate our way through this with our DC.
With the emptying of 1st year rooms seemingly on hold for many until the end of lockdown our thoughts will soon turn to 2nd year accommodation and whether term is likely to start as normal in September.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 DS won't get his results till 17th September, which is rather frustrating, he's moving into his house on the 15th, so I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.
However it means I haven't booked a flight as if he doesn't pass I'll need to be around to help him work out what to do, but I'm hoping it doesn't come to that as I'm really not sure what the solution would be and DS does seem to genuinely want to go back to UEA and Biology.
DH is having a weird lonley quarentine in Canada, at least by the time I get there he'll have some furniture!

@Itscoldouthere and @NewModelArmyMayhem18
Yes...I have spoken about whether he's enjoying the course. He says he is. I asked is he finding it hard he says some of it yes. He had thought of doing a degree in film studies because he enjoyed it, he also got on well with the teacher (she was also his English teacher up until end of year 9) We had a long chat back then about him not really wanting to go on to have a career in film, I should think jobs are hard to come by in film too. So he decided not to continue with film. He also only studied film because there wasn't anything else he liked for 4th A level choice but ended up enjoying it and dropping geography instead. One of his best friends is studying film at the arts university in Norwich. So I asked him if he regretted taking on biology or does he wish he had gone with his friend to study film. He said no he prefers biology but said the film course sounded much easier. So I told him he doesn't have to keep doing his biology degree if he doesn't want to. He said he does. I told him he could live in Norwich but get a job. He said he wants to carry on. I can't do much more than that. He really will be cross if I tell him I read the email. It's not like I was sneaking a look behind his back into his email account, he did give me the phone and I thought I'd tapped on a SFE email. But I'd tapped on the one underneath.

Yes it was definitely an email to someone called Mike at student support. Ds had signed his name at the end. He also said it was stressing out his girlfriend too, mentioning her name. He was saying he has chosen the wrong subject but he realises dropping Biology now would be stupid. He didn't really say what he wanted to do about it.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 you are also correct in that his gf is studying English. I did wonder if he's just liking what she's doing, but liking it and actually having to do it could be completely different. I don't think doing a degree is meant to be easy. So he shouldn't be wanting the easy option. But he should be enjoying it, or most of it at least.

@Itscoldouthere how long do you have to wait until your son hears how he's done? Not long I hope.

Ds still has his job. One girl left yesterday for university. 4 of them left. He hasn't been told they will definitely finish earlier yet. So far he's still working until 25th sept. But he will go to his new house to look round when they get the keys next Saturday.

@Itscoldouthere you hadn't posted when I wrote mine. That's good you have a date for results. A bit of wait though. I'm sure he will do well.

Why is writing coming out in bold? I didn't do that 🤷‍♀️

That's a long time to wait for results @Itscoldouthere. Fingers crossed for positive ones and a smooth transition to Year 2. And I'm sure you will be looking forward to settling into your Canada life and making a home there.

Maybe thinking one would have been better off on another course a year into one's degree is more common than one might think? But you right @icanbewhatiwant that the reality might be very different. A humanities degree may seem easier but would it be? Possibly more independent study? It sounds as if you've given your DS1 plenty of time to 'fess up' if he really wanted to change tack.

As parents, I think we can only do so much, although we have the wisdom of years of experience that our young people don't yet have.

@icanbewhatiwant well done for trying to get him to confide in you, obviously there's more going on than he want to discuss, but I do think as @NewModelArmyMayhem18 says as parents there is only so much we can do.
I've realized with DS2 that I can't be the one to solve his issues/problems, I'll always be there for him and assist him wherever possible, but I'm not qualified to sort out his MH issues or confusion about his course, part of becoming an adult involves taking ownership and sometimes they just have to work through stuff for themselves.
Anyway, I hope your DS isn't unhappy on the Biology course and that he goes back to yr 2 with a positive mindset.

@icanbewhatiwant well done for trying to get him to confide in you, obviously there's more going on than he want to discuss, but I do think as @NewModelArmyMayhem18 says as parents there is only so much we can do.
I've realized with DS2 that I can't be the one to solve his issues/problems, I'll always be there for him and assist him wherever possible, but I'm not qualified to sort out his MH issues or confusion about his course, part of becoming an adult involves taking ownership and sometimes they just have to work through stuff for themselves.
Anyway, I hope your DS isn't unhappy on the Biology course and that he goes back to yr 2 with a positive mindset.

Yes I feel I can do no more. I did ask why he didn't continue English at A level, he said he didn't like all the memorising of poetry and various other texts he had to remember for gcse and assumed it would be the same at A level. I remember him having lots of post it stickers all over his wall with various quotes he had to remember. Obviously they don't need to memorise for a degree.

Ds must have a poor memory. He dropped geography for the same reason. Too many facts to remember. Ds2 is going on to do history at A level. I hope he has a better memory!!

I can't remember what I did yesterday anymore. So I'd be no good!

On a positive note it is good that both of your DSs have an interest in humanities subjects as well as their chosen biology! There is scope for enrichment at some future stage, and it may even work to their advantage when job hunting to have 'broad' interests.

DS went to a very STEM oriented school but has zero interest in anything scientific which is sad really. Actually, aside from geography and history, the thing he is most knowledgeable about is sport, particularly NFL.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 it's funny how they are so different, ds2 isn't interested in science. Ds1 enjoyed science the most. I think ds3 will be into his science too but he's only 11 so it's hard to tell. Ds1 and ds3 sadly show no interest in sport at all, as I feel it's good to get exercise of some sort and have another interest. Ds2 likes all sport, he used to love his football, but unfortunately being extremely small he was dropped from the football team a few years ago (he's now about 5'3" and 6 stone at almost 17 years old, but was quite a bit smaller) He wanted to do A level pe as he really enjoyed the theory side of gcse. But it was in the same column as history which he favours. So chose that. It's very hard to choose subjects from 4 columns. I am on the gcse thread and noticed people look into several 6th forms. In hindsight that might have been better for ds1 he may have found something he preferred. Though biology was always a top choice. Both of them have wanted to continue 6th form at their secondary school.

@icanbewhatiwant hopefully a positive is that your DS is making use of student support, and therefore recognises there may be issues and is looking for a way to work through it? Covid also makes everything less clear cut and may well undermine enthusiasm for starting back more generally (across many DCs at many Unis I'd imagine - last year cut short; time lost due to the strikes, and a re-start under the shadow of Covid). I'd say if he has an interest in literature what about a book club, poetry society etc - however Covid constraints (virtual rather than physical get togethers) may make those options more difficult.

Biology at UEA must have a fairly good rep though - one of DS2's weekend work colleagues starting at UEA next year (sorry saga about the algorithm before CAGs saved the day), Apparently she is very chilled about deferring a year so that seems to be a happy ending.

Very much humanities in this household - three lots of history A level. I'm confident I could now start one of those I'm a........ask me anything threads. The........being an expert on the War of the Roses. :)

Next worry...ds1 went out with mates on Saturday. Unbeknown to us his best friends brother had just returned from Zante. Best friends brother has just had a positive covid test. Ds has has ordered himself a test and isn't going into work tomorrow in case. I'm hoping his friends test will be negative. I am trying to not think about it at the moment until said friend has his test. If it's negative then all should be ok. I'm only really worried about dh getting it. I'm sure the rest of us would be fine.

@icanbewhatiwant oh no, that's typical isn't it!
I suppose this is the future, none of us know when we might unexpectedly find out we've been in contact with someone who's tested positive.
The whole quarantine thing seems so random, with many people not complying, and restaurants etc doing things their own way.
My DH is on his last day of quarantine in Canada and it's been tough, it would be tricky if we all had to go in and out of quarantine.
Hopefully your DS hasn't been exposed and there will be no worry for your DH.

Wish us luck, just loading the car up to send DS2 off the Norwich for year 2. He is as excited as a kid at Christmas!
Not sure if the 40 inch TV will make it intact though

Good luck with the move for your DS2 @sluj.

DS went back on Friday and we've heard nothing from him since except for a response to a comment that we'd found a missing, much loved sweatshirt of his (which turned up in DD's room behind a chair!).

Oh no what a PITA regarding the Zante potential COVID-19 positive friend's brother @icanbewhatiwant. Fingers crossed that they test negative - and your DS too.

We went out to a restaurant last week and there was no requirement to give contact details at all. I was really surprised. I also agree that I think a lot of people probably aren't observing their quarantine period properly.

Glad your DH is about to exit his quarantine @Itscoldouthere. Hopefully it won't be too long before you and the dog join him.

Feeling very autumnal already - nearly put the heating on last night.

Yes good luck @sluj

I think ds is testing too early. He's ordered a test, he thinks it arrives today. The friend who's brother tested positive will also do his test today. If his is negative then ds doesn't even need to take a test. But if his friend is positive but ds is negative then personally I think ds has done his test too early. He's adamant it needs doing now. He was with the friend Saturday eve. I know it can take up to 14 days to get into the system. So I don't know. He's sulking in his room anyway, best to stay in his room for now.

@icanbewhatiwant I'm with you in thinking it might be unnecessary for your DS to test yet but I am not sure what the proper protocol is at all.

Your DS had a good day to move into his student flat @sluj. Hope it all went smoothly.

I'm just back from dropping DS1 off at his new house in Bournemouth, he was so happy to see his friends and making his own life again.
They don't start till the end of the month, but I think they will have fun till then.
Their house was nice, good sized rooms and a garden, the bathrooms were a bit tired and grubby, but it was mainly limescale stains.
I'm so happy for him to be doing his own thing again.
One down one to go 😁

@Itscoldouthere that's good one is getting settled. Nice that you liked his house too...I won't get to see ds's house unless I go to visit him or he decides he doesn't need his car, so I hope it's ok. I hope it's been cleaned too.

Ds did his covid test today. The friend who's brother was positive also did his test today. So I definitely think ds is getting ahead of himself. The older brother and mum of the positive lad have both tested negative. So hopefully the friend will too. Then ds can go back to work.

Ds2 and ds3 are back to school tomorrow. Thank goodness. Moving day is getting closer for ds1. Well..unless his friend tests positive, then he can't go and meet everyone at the new place Saturday.

Well that was an eventful drop off for DS2 yesterday! We were half way up the M11 with the car packed to the roof when his new housemates started messaging to say William H Brown were refusing to release the keys as some of the parents had not returned the guarantor proof of ID. They had said the same thing to me 2 weeks ago and I told them to look properly and they miraculously found it. There was a certain amount of panic as they couldn't get hold of one of the lads to get to talk to his mum as he was working and planning on driving down after work. There were also 3 other lots of parents screeching down the phone at William H Brown.
Eventually DS and I made it to Sainsburys in Thetford where we had planned on stocking up on pasta, fresh food, pillows etc. We didn't dare buy fresh stuff so in the end we just bought cupboard stuff and beer and sat in the carpark wondering where to head for. Plan B was for us to drop DS2s stuff off at DS1s House in Norwich and DS2 either sleep there or find other friends to crash at. DS1 was actually at home with his dad but had given me his keys to drop his things off fortunately. To cut a long story short, I managed to get the working lads mums number from the lads employers and she submitted the documents again. The other parent did his too for the third time. Big relief all round. I am very shocked that William H Brown had not thought to warn them that they were not having the keys but just let them all travel from all over the country with packed up cars and let them sort it out. They wouldn't even chase the guarantor documents saying it wasn't their job ! I am going to complain.
Anyway, the house is fairly basic but will do fine. They were all extremely excited and happy, which was lovely for me to see when driving away.
DS2 also got the train this morning to go back via a short stay in Southwold so the house is quiet again.

Annoyed that both DSs miraculously found loads of washing and my laundry bin is overflowing but there you go.
I did miss actually going on to campus though.
Hope all your drop offs go a lot more smoothly. If you are going through William H Brown, might be worth checking they have everything. So incompetent 😒

@sluj it sounds like you had an eventful day. We have used William H Brown for 3 rental properties and they have been great. Though not the Norwich office. At least they are all in now.

We are waiting for results of ds's covid test. Fairly sure it'll be negative, as he has done it too soon after being in contact with his friend. I'm more interested in the friends test. If it's positive then ds has to isolate for 14 days, he won't be able to collect his keys if that's the case. So we just have to wait for results. I think they will be Friday at the earliest.

I may have been one of the sets of parents raging at William H Brown yesterday. They are totally useless. They repeatedly lost ID and sent aggressive chasing emails when it was their mistake. My DS and his mates moved in yesterday and we were originally told that they would get the keys in the morning. We are 2 1/2 hours away so I took the day off work to take him. Then we got an email from the agent last Friday, just as the office was closing to say we couldn't get the keys until 5.30. They then changed their minds on the day but forgot to tell 3/5 tenants, after telling the other two they were phoning everyone.

The house was filthy- mainly dust an inch thick as it hadn't been lived in for months. There was then a farcical situation where the agent was blaming the landlord, and vice versa. In the end they agreed to send a cleaner in to do a deep clean today. My son's room is smaller than his one in halls, and his desk is completely broken. The landlord has agreed to replace it but I will have to encourage my son to keep chasing I suspect. Apart from that the house is ok, a decent lounge with two sofas, can get 4 cars on the drive at a squeeze, and 5 mins walk from Aldi.

DS also had to resubmit one piece of work. He is severely dyslexic but is always reluctant to seek help, which is such a shame as if he had got learning support to proof read his work he may have picked up the extra 2% he needed to pass the unit.

He is eager to get back to playing his sport; he is the BUCS Captain this year and is frustrated that BUCS have announced that the normal league structure won't be going ahead, despite sport governing bodies saying it is ok to resume fixtures. He is also being paid to coaching one of the women's teams. I hope though that he puts the same energy into his academic work as he puts into his sport so we aren't in resit territory next year. We didn't think he would get GCSEs let alone get to uni, but it is hard graft for him and he is struggling where lots of writing is required.

@sluj that sounds like a total PITA of a day but glad it worked out okay in the end. At least you've seen your DS's second year house in person. Not sure if we will, although I've seen a 'street view' and it looks quite upmarket from the outside - on a relatively naice, modern housing estate. Not like the student lets I remember from my youth which tended to be really grotty.

GoldenRuby, that sounds stressful too, especially when you have a long journey home. That repeated losing of ID is worrying and its not always convenient to keep on trooping to your nearest branch to show your passport again. Glad you got their house and assorted problems sorted in the end.
DS spent a lot of time on the phone last night trying to work out the boiler controls with us, no joy so far so I think he will have to call the landlord. Their toilet was literally brown but is now gleaming, thanks to the boys but you still have to fight your way through the jungle garden to get to the front door. Having said all that, he sent us a video of his room now he has moved all his stuff in and it looks much more comfortable now.
I hope your DC all get on well with their moves

I think it is disgusting that these houses are left in such a poor (housekeeping wise) state given how much our DC are paying for them. Some landlords and letting agents seem to well and truly take the 'P' don't they?

Not good so far with houses then.

Last week I drove past ds's house he will be moving to, just to be nosy, I don't know if anyone was living there...but there was an old, bashed up car on the drive, lots of small dents all over it and 4 flat tyres, it looked like it had been there a while and was there to stay.