UEA (2019) dealing with the unexpected and on to 2nd Year

[juicy0]

New thread for the parents of 2019 freshers. Thank you all for sticking around!
At the start of the year we never would have guessed the topics that are currently being discussed in this page but I'm grateful we still have each other to help navigate our way through this with our DC.
With the emptying of 1st year rooms seemingly on hold for many until the end of lockdown our thoughts will soon turn to 2nd year accommodation and whether term is likely to start as normal in September.

@icanbewhatiwant is your DS accessing through e-vision? Mine was trying to access something admittedly not module related and could not see / download what he needed. He contacted the support and there was some sort of annual rollover going on with the system that was restricting a lot of access (and seemingly for several days as opposed to a few hours). I hope your DS can get his module sorted, I'd be surprised at any Uni pushing a student into a presumably optional module that they really have no affinity for or interest in.

Thanks @boys3 he's found a bit more out after @Itscoldouthere sent me a message with how her ds has found it (thanks) he can see a bit more now, but still not what is compatible with what. He's going to try contacting the hub with another choice as it's closed now for putting in the module choices. I'm hoping he can change it. He said he will do anything as long as not bio chem. It would better to do something he wants to do though.

hopefully today's better late than never outbreak of common sense for last week's A levels and this Thursday's GCSEs provides some level of relief for those on the thread - posters and lurkers :) - with DCs in those year groups.

@boys3 yes sounds a bit better for ds2 and his GCSEs. It'll be strange on Thursday going to collect results for exams they haven't sat.

What about all those poor A level students that haven't got their places at university? I wonder if they'll get new offers or is it done with?

Jumping in as a UEA mum to say that DS May be able to change tutor, @icanbewhatiwant as DD4 managed it, took a while but is an option.

Does anyone know how the post room will work this year? DD4 is back on campus again this year for her PGCE and is worrying about long hours and not being able to collect anything at all, including her contact lenses!

@MyMagicStars thanks for that. I'll tell him. I shouldn't think it's an easy process though.

Ds has contacted the hub and has been given some possibly options. But they've also said it might not work, he may have to do bio-chem.

Ds's work has been really slow. They test crop samples, but for some reason the samples aren't coming in, leaving 5 of them with not much work. A few weeks ago they were asked to stay on until third week of sept. Now they've been told that some of them may be let go at the end of the week. 6 weeks early. Ds is convinced it'll be him. The others are all girls, including their boss (she has several people above her, she's just in charge of the summer staff) so Ds thinks the boss will choose him as he's the odd one out. But he's also the only one to be on his second year. So they might keep him. We will have to see.

@icanbewhatiwant that sounds tough- DD4 says you essentially have to argue and argue and stick to your gums. She suggests speaking to student support now, as the first few weeks they are always chaotically full. The biochem school is very good, DDs partner was a student there, but did feel unsupported at times in his final year.
Is he in any clubs or societies? DD4 is a social butterfly despite some additional needs, and these have made her time at UEA. She also says she’s happy to answer any questions if needed!

@icanbewhatiwant I hope everything went OK with the GCSE results yesterday.
I’m so glad I don’t have A level or GCSE aged children this year, such a stressful time for students and parents alike.
What a year 2020 is proving to be !!

@Itscoldouthere thanks for asking, yes not too bad. He was disappointed with science grades as he'd got 7's and 8's in all tests during year 11 and they had a mock exam on the last day (not in mock conditions) he got a 9 in that. But he was only given a level 6. But I did read they had to base all results on work over years 10 and 11. He didn't really step up work until year 11. He did no revision for mocks apart from the one on the last day when he received a 9 🤷‍♀️ ds obviously would have revised for the actual exams, so he's kind of wishing he'd taken them now. But they are still B's in old grades so that's a good grade. He doesn't plan any science A levels so that's fine.

He was given 7's in everything else with one 8. So all good. There's no point in dwelling on what could have been had he sat the exams. He's quite chilled about it all. I had a job to get him up to go to collect the grades. I think as he's taking A levels the GCSEs just fade into the background really. As long as they have a good pass in English and maths. So we will just put them behind us.

Ds2 is going back to 6th form at the same school in sept. Ds3 is starting year 7 at the same school. I'm so looking forward to them returning.
Once they are back I'll then help Ds1 sort what he needs to take to his house, if his job ends sooner than he expected he will move to Norwich earlier.

Is everyone else getting prepared for them all moving out again? It'll be quite strange after having them all home for do long.

@icanbewhatiwant I’m so glad it went well for your DS, it was so awful hearing about the A level shit-show that happened last week. It seems like GCSE results have been better.
It will be nice having your 2 at the same school for a few years.
My DH has now returned to Canada, next off is DS1 he gets his house in Bournemouth on 1st Sept, then DS2 gets his Norwich house on 15th, so it’s going to get weirdly quieter.

Then it will just be me and the dog, I’ll get him sent off to Canada and I will go a few days later. I’ve not booked it yet as I want to make sure DS2 settles back at UEA (and passes into second year).

Thanks @Itscoldouthere it's all go for you then. Not long left all together. At least you have the dog for company though not for long. I am looking forward to ds1 moving out again. He eats me out of house of home and makes so much mess! But I still have 2 more dc's home. I know I wouldn't feel the same if he were my only child or the last to go.

@icanbewhatiwant I know what you mean my DS1 eats so much!
It’s been lovely having them with me for so long, an unexpected bonus, however I want them to be getting on with their own lives, spending time with other young folk and becoming independent.
Mine are messy too although DS1 kept his Halls room spotless and tidy, I think at home they just devolve themselves of all responsibility and don’t think what that means.... that they are leaving it to me!
So I not too sad about them going away.

@icanbewhatiwant well done to your DS2 on his GCSEs, at least one less thing to worry about :)

Yes @icanbewhatiwant I second @boys3 and @Itscoldouthere's congratulations on DS2's results. You will be glad to have your youngest two in the same school. How is DS3 feeling about the transition to secondary school? What has happened with DS1's summer job - hopefully he has been kept on.

Good that you have a plan of action @Itscoldouthere. I'm sure you will relish your few days of peace and personal space before heading off back to Canada.

DS back home again (he lasted all of five days!), although he has needed to come back to collect the rest of his kit. Seems to like his house and keen on cycling here, there and everywhere. Met up with former school buddies today and possibly delaying his return to go to see a new film with them next week.

Thanks @boys3 and @NewModelArmyMayhem18

Ds1 still has his job at the moment. It is still very quiet so he's not sure how long it will continue. One girl has volunteered to leave next week and go back to her university house. So he's hoping to stay a bit longer.

Ds1 was saying it's funny that ds2 and ds3 are going to the same school. As there's such a gap between them ds1 missed out on being in primary school with ds3 by a year. So ds2 and ds3 were at primary school together 2 years, same for secondary. Though as ds2 will be in 6th form this time I don't think they will see each other really. Ds2 isn't allowed on the school transport either. It makes me so mad...long story but our local Suffolk primary school feeds into the secondary in Suffolk. So a bus serves the village (and other villages) to take the children to school. But once they get to 6th form age they have to go their nearest 6th form to be eligible for transport. So that means crossing the border into Norfolk to the 6th form attached to that secondary because it's half mile nearer. There are no buses to that school as we are in Suffolk so they can't get there. Why should they change school anyway? It makes me cross. I had all this with ds1. So in theory when the school bus collects ds3 at the top of our drive I need to follow it all the way to school with ds2 in the car 🤷‍♀️ madness. It would have been nice for ds2 to accompany ds3 on the bus. Anyway rant over 😡

Ds3 is quite nervous about secondary. They usually have lots of moving up days. But obviously it didn't happen. I'm sure he will be fine.

@icanbewhatiwant the whole school bus thing from country locations is bonkers isn’t it. I had no idea till we moved, in London they get (used to currently suspended I believe) a young persons travel card and it’s free on buses and tube.
When we moved I knew I was taking on a daily school run, which I did without a problem.
When DS1 went to college (in the opposite direction to where I did school run) there was no bus provided and no young person discount, best he could get was a monthly travel card but it only made a small difference as he didn’t go to College 5 days a week.
I had to drive him to next village for him to get standard bus £5 each way and most afternoons evening he’d walk back from next village across fields/tracks, it was not ideal especially in bad weather, but he survived! We didn’t live in the middle of nowhere just bad local transport.
It would make me really cross having to follow the bus in the car!! Can’t you come to some arrangement with the bus company?
That’s bonkers 🤯

@Itscoldouthere it is bonkers. For ds1 I had to appeal twice and in the end he got a seat on the bus. We still had to pay £900 a year for that seat. I have just found out the bus company that operate the school buses also run a public bus serving the school, it only has limited seats bought in advance and covers a few villages, it stops about half a mile away. It costs £303 for the whole year, so that's much better than the council run bus. It's not ideal in winter as they get dropped about 4.20pm and it's a half mile walk along a dark country lane. But there are 3 of them so I'm sure between us parents we can nip to collect on the darkest December days. I have only booked the first term on that bus, he is 17 soon, so we may get him driving to school with one of us beside him after Christmas. It all depends whether ds1 takes the car to UEA.

Ds1 has asked if he can now take the car so that he doesn't have to use public transport to uEA. But having looking at the car park charges it's too expensive and passes are only for blue badge holders. I quite agree really, it would be so busy if all students took cars. His house is 2.4 miles from UEA. A bit far to walk really. Well...wouldn't bother me but he's lazy. So not sure what he will do.

@icanbewhatiwant well that sounds a bit better re being able to get the bus and cheaper than you had to pay before.
Tricky to know about DS1 and the car, we are having similar conversations with my DS who’s at Bournemouth.

We have an old Kia which was my school run car but DS1 has been using it since he learnt to drive.
He didn’t take it last year and hasn’t used it much since he came home (as he hasn’t gone anywhere) when it had its MOT they said the clutch was on its last leg, but it would be very useful if he had the car, there’s so many nice places you can go from Bournemouth, but you need a car and it would mean he could visit DS2 at Norwich.
If he doesn’t take it we will get rid of it, so it’s all or nothing!
He wouldn’t be able to drive to Uni as the parking cost is too high, but he’s living in a residential area near Uni but quite a way from Bournemouth town which will be very different as his halls were in town last year so walking distance to all his going out venues.
DS2 at UEA hasn’t learnt to drive yet (despite being offered lessons at 18).

@Itscoldouthere I'd say keep the car for your son to use. At least there will be a car in the uk for all of you then.

I think Ds is going to take the car to his student house and see how much he uses it. I think a car would be good for shopping trips etc. But he seems to think 4 of them are taking cars. So with his car too that'll be 5 cars between 6 of them. That really isn't necessary. In a way I'd like him to leave the car here so ds2 can learn to drive in it. But then if he has a car he can pop home, he also has a lot more freedom with a car. So I don't know really. Will wait to see what happens. But he's taking it to start with.

Ds also heard back and has been able to change the bio chem. module to genetics instead. Thank goodness.

I cannot believe it is the end of August already! Not quite sure when DS2 is actually heading back to Norwich. He has his final week of paid employment here next week, and to his credit he has worked pretty solidly throughout. He has somehow managed to wangle his house tenancy not starting until 1st Sep, but has shared little detail beyond that. Has done a couple online events for Freshers as part of his subject society role so presumably more things lined up on that front.

School (Y13) restarts for DS3 next week, although given the various u-turns, A level fiaso etc I think the school's best laid plans are still having to change on a daily basis. However as I've convinced DS3 that he does not need a new suit or new shoes the fact we have no timetable yet is a minor irritation.

Yes the end of August has come round quickly. I'm looking forward to ds2 and ds3 returning to school on weds 2nd.

Ds1 gets the keys to his place 5th sept. I went to Norwich this week and drove past ds's new place just to be nosy. It's in a road of very big houses with high walls and metal gates. Theirs doesn't have a gate though. It's very big. It's 2.4 miles from UEA. It wouldn't be my choice of house nor position. But they had applied for several but others got in first. So they were getting worried. I'm not sure how much others are paying but I think this must be one of the more expensive places.

I'm a bit worried as ds gave me his phone a few days back with it open on emails, I wanted his SFE number as I was filling proof forms in. Anyway I clicked on a few emails looking for it, then I clicked on an email i obviously shouldn't have. It was from him telling someone he doesn't like his university course and that's it's effecting his mental health. I can't tell him I read the email, he will be angry. I have asked him if he's enjoying his course, he says yes. So not sure what to think really. I wish I could unread it! He's not going to voluntarily tell me what it's about. I will remind him before he leaves for uni that he doesn't have to go. He has a tetchy character, he's ever so hard to have a conversation with. He snaps back at questions I ask. But he's been like that for years. So it's not new. We definitely don't have the mother son bond I'd like to have. Ds2 is very easy to get on with in comparison. Not sure about ds3 he's only 11. But I don't know what to think really.

IcanbewhatIwant
Do you think it could be related to the module cock up when he thought he had to do biochemistry? Sometimes you do come across stuff by accident and then have to work out how to discuss it. I don't know about girls but boys are definitely a bit secretive and not always wanting to talk things through. I think your plan to reassure him he can come back is all you can do really. I remember my mum saying to me as she drove with me up the drive at Lancaster University in year 1, "if you don't like it, just come home". I said exactly the same thing to both mine in the car park at UEA
Hopefully he will be more settled once he is back in the swing of things.
DS2 is going to his year 2 house on Tuesday. William H Brown are very inefficient. I will be sad to see him go but won't miss waiting for him to get back from Wetherspoons. When did pubs start closing at 1am??

@sluj thanks. He has managed to change the bio chem module. Did I say that up thread? To genetics instead.
The email just said he would rather be studying English literature instead. He said it's stressing him and his girlfriend out and effecting his mental health. It says in his spare time he'd rather be reading poetry and other literature than studying biology.

He can't study English lit. he didn't do it at A level. He had a teacher in year 10 that put him down 2 sets. Clearly didn't like him. She told him he'd be lucky to get a 4 in gcse. Predicted 5's on the final report. He got a 7. So if he'd stayed in top set with a different teacher he may have had an even better grade. He did say in year 12 he'd like to take up English. Obviously he hasn't considered it as predicted so low. He did film studies instead, a class taken by the English teacher he'd had in year 8 that he got on well with. Anyway...no A level English.

Yes William H Brown are good agents and very efficient. We've used them on our own properties.

@icanbewhatiwant that's a tricky one re your DS, do you think you could come clean and say you saw the email and that you were worried? Or would that go down really badly?
If you think that wouldn't work could you talk about my DS and his problems with Biology and how he wanted/considered changing to History but doesn't have history A level and see if he opens up? or would he think you were weird talking about some random kid from a Mumsnet thread?
Either way it would be good to try and discuss it.
We've got a lot riding on the Biology course this year, I can't imagine how they are going to deliver it.
I'm obviously keeping my fingers crossed that my DS has done enough to get back in, but if the course is not delivered well it could all go wrong again, I'm sure many parents are now worried and wondering if it's going to be a good university experience.

I guess this whole issue with regrets for subjects which one could/should have taken for A Level shows how limiting the British exam system is for A Levels (and why some schools follow the International Baccalaureate®). Or where a 'Liberal Arts' degree has a certain appeal and place, although I guess that wouldn't have been possible for your more science-orientated youngsters, @Itscoldouthere and @icanbewhatiwant? Very frustrating though not to be able to move over easily to one's passion subject (presumably would have been possible with the right A Levels though?).

@icanbewhatiwant could you just have a conversation about life regrets and see if DS1 feeds into that? That's a good non-confrontational way to broach the subject if your DS feels ready to open up?

Is your DS1's girlfriend doing English? Is it possible that his thinking is clouded by what she's doing (and wanting to be on the same course as her?) .

How many emails did you catch a glimpse of? Sometimes things can be 'interpreted' out of context (although I'm not saying that you did). Is it possible that your DS was reassuring someone else who was having doubts about their course by agreeing with them?

Has your DS2 not yet heard back from UEA @Itscoldouthere? That's a total PITA when he wants to move on and hopefully look forward more to Year 2. And for you to plan your return to Canada with the dog.

We can only hope that their second year is less disrupted that the first. I really hope the universities have their Plan Bs ready.