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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Durham University

998 replies

NotEnoughTime · 04/02/2020 14:18

Hello.

How many of us are waiting for their DC to hear back from Durham? My DS applied back in October last year and is getting very down now he knows that others who have received offers are being informed that they will be told soon re college allocations.

I am usually a 'no news is good news' type of person but even I am finding it hard to be upbeat as I too am fed up Confused

I wish they would just let him me know soon if he is going to get an offer or a rejection and then he can get on with his life and his A Level revision without this hanging over him.

OP posts:
Hinny2 · 19/10/2020 18:42

www.theguardian.com/education/2020/oct/19/students-from-northern-england-facing-toxic-attitude-at-durham-university

This is truly despicable. Anyone heard of this happening from your D.C.?

mum2eim · 19/10/2020 20:57

That article makes me so sad. My DD had a terrible time at school with bullying and I have kept reassuring her that at Uni that shouldn’t happen.....how naive am I? She hasn’t experienced this behaviour from fellow students but she is in a very inclusive Bailey college. I wonder whether it is the behaviour found in the minority of students in particular colleges?

KingscoteStaff · 19/10/2020 21:37

I agree that this is shocking. What sort of person resorts to personal comments to out others down?

Haven’t seen you about before, @Hinny2, are you a name changer, or is this your first post?

DominaShantotto · 20/10/2020 09:32

@Hinny2

www.theguardian.com/education/2020/oct/19/students-from-northern-england-facing-toxic-attitude-at-durham-university

This is truly despicable. Anyone heard of this happening from your D.C.?

I challenged this as an undergraduate over 20 years ago. I come originally from Sunderland, from one of the most deprived postcodes in the NE - and I went to Durham.

My first week there we had an induction with the Dean of the Faculty who told us (I remember it all vividly as it made such an impression) that we were to "feel sympathy for the local people because they don't have the education or the opportunities you do" which was the starting point for a steady downward slide.

I did politics and was regularly told in seminars that my views didn't matter because "in the NORMAL part of the country... not the NORTH... this doesn't apply". There were socials with students dressing as stereotypical locals - flat caps and lots of "why-aye man" offensiveness.

I saw idiots ripping into takeaway staff for their accents and backgrounds - on that occasion I was in there, with a Castle scarf on, so the twits thought they were showing off to an audience who'd appreciate it - and I dropped into my finest Wearside accent and ripped the fucker a new one - his brain really could not compute how someone in a Castle scarf was from the NE.

Worst I had, and I went to the press about it (can't find the article now) was a college newsletter where the livers out rep said (stupidly in print the fool) that "if you don't come to my house hunting talk you'll end up living in one of those far-flung pit villages where the men sleep with their dogs or their sisters depending on how many pints they've had at the mens' club"... I got into a shitload of bother for leaking that one to the press!

That was 1996-1999. Things haven't changed much I gather. I love Durham, love my old college, love my old department (even though the bastards moved it to a soul-less new build) and I really enjoyed my course - but it did teach me a hell of a lot about how the North-South divide runs. I now sit literally on the fence and moved to the Midlands!

Medievalist · 20/10/2020 15:34

Durham was my local university growing up. No way was I going to apply there. I was all too familiar as a teenager with the appalling behaviour of many of the students from seeing them out and about. So sad to see it hasn't changed.

Original poster
NotEnoughTime · 20/10/2020 16:44

I'm Sad and Angry to read this.

There are always some arrogant idiots that give a bad name to everyone else.

OP posts:
TerfTerfTerf · 20/10/2020 20:30

I am naively hoping that some household isolation will enable students to properly get to know their housemates and perhaps find out that we're really all the same regardless of accent/birthplace/income, so when they're actually allowed "out out", there'll be less incredulity about there being students from the NE among them? My in-laws were from working-class Yorkshire families, met at Durham in the 50s and had a wonderful experience. I loathe my MIL but I admire her for her determination in those days. Hate to think of similar women today being put off by such mindless bigotry Sad

Metallicalover · 20/10/2020 21:15

@Hinny2

www.theguardian.com/education/2020/oct/19/students-from-northern-england-facing-toxic-attitude-at-durham-university

This is truly despicable. Anyone heard of this happening from your D.C.?

I've experienced comments like this also. My ex started at Durham (he's an ex because he turned into a snob!) these students started harping on at me going to a 'poly' uni rather than Durham or Newcastle. I said that Durham or Newcastle don't have nursing courses. They then asked why I didn't do medicine. They couldn't get it into their heads that nursing is a completely different profession to becoming a doctor! Saying that my ex ended up coming to the 'poly' uni to become a barrister. That was just one example of being looked down upon.
DominaShantotto · 21/10/2020 09:57

[quote Peaseblossom22]This is a more positive story from Durham, great to see this is my old college

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-54589752?at_custom2=facebook_page&at_medium=custom7&at_custom3=BBC+News&at_custom4=F8FC38A2-1159-11EB-9C27-0709933C408C&at_campaign=64&at_custom1=%5Bpost+type%5D&fbclid=IwAR1xZHCwxMJyly41VQUhGAV-yRxs8dEuBfDnSvHVyDVrMUGQvTFezbFuhUY[/quote]
Guessed it was Trevs from the angle of the walls in the very first photo!

Peaseblossom22 · 21/10/2020 10:28

@DominaShantotto me too Wink

nipersvest · 21/10/2020 10:42

Terf, dd's household has definitely bonded during quarantine. DD is from a state school, so far she's not had any issues.

TerfTerfTerf · 21/10/2020 13:11

@nipersvest DS and his flat mates are all state school but he was expecting there to be far more "posh" types (his words), I think he's surprised by how down to earth everyone he's met seems to be. He has been known to have delusions of grandeur!!

goodbyestranger · 21/10/2020 13:35

TerfTerfTerf the student featured in the article is still at Durham, so this is an allegation about current behaviour. That attitude was certainly fairly prevalent when I was at Durham a long time ago and I'm not at all confident that it doesn't exist still. Those from so-called posh backgrounds or schools may be slightly deaf to it, that's all. It's now for the uni to find out how pervasive it is. I would expect them to find it not to be any more, but for there to be a sizeable and dominant group of loud independent school kids in each cohort who are rather dim, with a misplaced sense of superiority by virtue of their parental bank account or background. I doubt the uni can do much in their three years to educate this out of these types; that usually only comes over a long period of time, once they've got a more realistic take on just how important and successful they in fact are in the world.

Peaseblossom22 · 21/10/2020 14:28

I think one thing they are doing which will help is the fact that they have centralised college allocation. This will hopefully mean that you reduce the concentration of a few schools in certain colleges . I know that when our older ds ( now 27) was thinking of applying my husband had an email saying that if you had a child applying to let the college know. Absolutely not the case with ds this year who incidentally did apply to his father’s old college but was reallocated .

DominaShantotto · 21/10/2020 14:40

@Peaseblossom22

I think one thing they are doing which will help is the fact that they have centralised college allocation. This will hopefully mean that you reduce the concentration of a few schools in certain colleges . I know that when our older ds ( now 27) was thinking of applying my husband had an email saying that if you had a child applying to let the college know. Absolutely not the case with ds this year who incidentally did apply to his father’s old college but was reallocated .
Castle by any chance? They used to be buggers for it.
Peaseblossom22 · 21/10/2020 15:04

Castle were always bad and Mary’s but actually I have lifelong friends from both of those colleges. It was always a vocal minority not the majority .

I have to say that the college I always found the most exclusive was Collingwood and only last year ds and I were shown round by a ‘delightful’ young man who informed us that he wouldn’t give the time of day to any other colleges and was really quite unpleasant, nearly put ds altogether he was so worried about ending up there !

I do think that the university have made a major mistake in permitting Collingwood to accept the huge private donations which have made the facilities so much flasher than some of the other colleges. It is divisive and given such a lot has been spent on the bar rather than for example on widening access sends the wrong message

janinlondon · 21/10/2020 15:18

Anyone wonder where hinny2 went....? I had a feeling our thread might shortly feature in the Dailyfail....

DominaShantotto · 21/10/2020 16:50

Collingwood was always a bit of a "rah" outpost on the hill to be honest.

bigTillyMint · 21/10/2020 19:42

I have a DS at Collingwood (well now living out in second year) - ex state comp in London. He was the only ex comp school pupil on his corridor, and there were definitely some obnoxious Rahs, but he has made loads of very normal ex private school friends, thank god!

They say the Hatters are the Rahs Grin

goodbyestranger · 21/10/2020 20:12

Has he made any very normal ex state school friends though bigTillyMint? :) (I also have a Collingwood DS)

goodbyestranger · 21/10/2020 20:14

Peaseblossom I think that that's it - the vocal minority. But they can be uber objectionable, with a sensational lack of self-knowledge.

goodbyestranger · 21/10/2020 20:16

Or rather self-awareness (rather than self-knowledge).

Peaseblossom22 · 21/10/2020 20:48

Just to be clear the person was not one of the ‘rah’ types , he was just someone who was very rude . I am sure that 99% of the college are lovely, I was just making the point that you find unpleasant attitudes everywhere.

bevelino · 21/10/2020 21:00

My dds say that Oxbridge and Bristol (where they are students) are like Durham and also have a massive issue with snobbery, (I have 4 dds). When two of my dds started at Bristol the first question they were asked was what school did you attend.

At Oxbridge it is well known that students from state schools are concentrated in certain colleges, which is so wrong.

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