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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Durham University

998 replies

NotEnoughTime · 04/02/2020 14:18

Hello.

How many of us are waiting for their DC to hear back from Durham? My DS applied back in October last year and is getting very down now he knows that others who have received offers are being informed that they will be told soon re college allocations.

I am usually a 'no news is good news' type of person but even I am finding it hard to be upbeat as I too am fed up Confused

I wish they would just let him me know soon if he is going to get an offer or a rejection and then he can get on with his life and his A Level revision without this hanging over him.

OP posts:
Baytreemum · 17/10/2020 11:03

Good to hear that release is in sight and that life is taking off again straight away!

Jano69 · 17/10/2020 12:19

@Kingscote I shared your link to Durham breweries with my DS a few days ago. Yet to find out whether he made an order... DS tested positive some time ago and is looking forward to going out in the big wide world again tomorrow.

ForestbytheSea · 17/10/2020 15:49

@janinlondon I don’t know why, I thought you had a dd in Durham! How has your son been? What symptoms did he have?

ForestbytheSea · 17/10/2020 16:18

Thank you for all the supportive messages. I just think it’s so isolating for students this year. Her accommodation is not suitable for this sort of isolation.

Sarbarcel · 17/10/2020 17:13

Does anybody have a ds/dd who is not particularly enjoying being with their household in halls and wishes they could be with other people? Are you under the impression that they will have to stick with their bubble all year? Do we feel that things will have got better by the end of the term from the point of view of f2f, real Societies, more freedom to mingle. Interested to hear any thoughts on the above ...

janinlondon · 17/10/2020 19:25

Forest - no you are absolutely right - I have a DD! SHe has not yet fallen victim - There is another Jan on this thread though.....

ForestbytheSea · 17/10/2020 20:17

@janinlondon so sorry, I saw Jan and I thought it was you! Does you dd have Covid in her household? I think I might pm you if that’s alright?😬

@Jano69 how is you son doing?
@Sarbarcel it is so far from a normal situation. My dd does not feel that she fits in with her household. It really feels like a lord of the flies scenario with an an added dose of big brother and I’m a celebrity bush tucker trials.😰😱

Jano69 · 17/10/2020 21:32

@ForestbytheSea I thought you might've got me and janinlondon confused 🤣. DS is doing well, only mild cold symptoms, and almost relieved to have done covid. 80% of his friendship group got covid at the same time so I think they're looking forward to new beginnings.

TerfTerfTerf · 17/10/2020 21:34

DS FaceTimed earlier. His block of 14 (household) is isolating for 14 days because one got a positive test. He's pretty glad that they can still socialise with each other of course, and they're allowed out for half an hour every day to spend time outdoors just within college grounds - Stephenson is quite large and even has a wood. His flat of 4 got an Ocado order on Thursday night so he has plenty of food! They haven't been told anything about possibly having to self isolate for a fortnight before Christmas so hopefully he will come home on the 12/13 December.

janinlondon · 18/10/2020 10:18

Forest - no, no covid in DDs household, and no isolation required so far....PM away!

bengalcat · 18/10/2020 14:23

Mines delighted to be free after her positive test .

Sarbarcel · 18/10/2020 14:36

@bengalcat did she self isolate for ten days or two weeks. DS on day 8 and debating whether he is free on Weds or Sunday

bengalcat · 18/10/2020 14:37

10 days

Sarbarcel · 18/10/2020 15:38

For some reason my son, seems to think he has to self isolate two weeks even though he was the first in his household to have symptoms and it will be ten days on Weds

bengalcat · 18/10/2020 17:16

@sarbarcel it’s definitely 10 days to isolate from the time of onset of symptoms / positive test

SusieCan · 19/10/2020 09:48

My dd is struggling at Durham in her Bailey college. In the first week, she felt she didn't really gel with anybody in her allocated household and as a result saw (though in small groups always under 6 and not at all partying) a few friends outside of her college. Now her household - which appears to have a ringleader - have turned against her for seeing other people and won't talk to her. Most of them are very work focused, not very sociable and hardly ever come out of their rooms. Does anybody have a dd/ds who is thinking of pulling out now and restarting next year when times hopefully are more normal?

KingscoteStaff · 19/10/2020 10:13

@SusieCan That’s awful - I am so sorry. So much seems to depend on the (completely random) allocation of households. I would suggest she gets straight on to the Welfare rep of her college’s JCR - DS’s one was super helpful when dealing with isolation food + allergies .

I can see the lure of dropping out and starting again next year, but we just don’t know if next year will be any better plus the gap year opportunities are not exactly many and varied.

SusieCan · 19/10/2020 10:22

@kingscotestaff Thanks so much for replying..She spoke to her Welfare rep but they didn't seem to be very helpful... just told her the options she has - whether to just leave, suspend studies or stay but not particularly a listening ear. My dd is a bit gutted as so many of her friends lucked out with their colleges/households and she wishes her situation was different ... the allocation really is luck of the draw.
Couldn't agree more about gap year opportunities being limited so it's something to really think about carefully. On the other hand, she is not happy where she is because she will have to continue hanging out with this bubble who are now ostracising her.. they have even set up a second whats app group without her on it so the official group they were all given before she started at Durham is semi redundant. They are ostracising her because they think she shouldn't have seen other people in week 2.

Baytreemum · 19/10/2020 10:42

@SusieCan Sorry to hear your DD is unhappy. I’m not really sure what to suggest but I do know that there is a lot of tension in the colleges about covid and people bringing it back into households and then making everyone else ill/ get them locked up again. Could your DD try talking to her household? It is difficult I know because usually you wouldn’t get stuck with your corridor but a lot of students don’t know anyone when they go to Durham, so just put up with who they meet in the first week until they meet their ‘real friends’ so if she already has friends there, your DD is in a different situation to many.

MarchingFrogs · 19/10/2020 11:17

Is there no possibility of moving households, even if it means literally being confined to her room for a fortnight upon moving in?

Is she sharing with a bunch of particularly clinically vulnerable students? The main issue for the vast majority in the age group is the restriction of freedom, not the actual illness, so would that really be such an issue for them, if they hardly ever come out of their rooms anyway? Presumably they are not concerned that a fortnight's seclusion will interfere with their own social lives outside the household.

nipersvest · 19/10/2020 11:57

@SusieCan really sorry to hear your DD having household issues, she's definitely not the only one going through that. How involved is she with her course cohort?, do they have a Whatsapp group? What course is she doing? Just trying to think of other avenues of meeting people are open to her.

SusieCan · 19/10/2020 16:34

Thanks so much for all of your responses. I am trying to persuade her to ask to change accommodation as she actually likes Durham and was really enjoying it when she could see a few other people. She hasn't met people face to face on her English course but she has been in isolation for past week. The College don't seem very helpful on that front so we shall see if we can make progress on that... she has spoken to a Student Welfare person. I would love to know who believes class and Societies will become more face to face this term? Or will all this online activity inside the classroom and out drag on and on in to New Year... if only we could know it would be easier to make decisions...

SusieCan · 19/10/2020 16:40

@MarchingFrogs She isn't sharing with clinically vulnerable students. It's not that her household want to shield physically from her but they don't want to communicate with her online either as she is the one who first had Covid. They have ostracised her and another girl and have made a second Whats App group without them for the household! I understand their frustration at having to self isolate yet interesting that so many other households are sticking together through this and some even want to get Covid so that it's all behind them

MarchingFrogs · 19/10/2020 17:16

and some even want to get Covid so that it's all behind them

Given that if everyone who was going to (some may already have had it and others probably just won't catch it anyway), caught it off her as soon as possible, the isolation period for most wouldn't go on much more than the original 14 days and the likelihood that any subsequent period of isolation due to someone having 'suspicious' symptoms would have to last any longer than that person's test being reported negative would be greatly reduced.

Of course, there's always the 14 days' isolation (whether or not you have already been a confirmed case yourself, I think, but would love to find that I am wrong...) because you have been deemed a close contact of a positive case not within your own household, but that could happen any time, anyway. And if your DD is the sociable one, so it's most likely to happen to (just) her, no skin of her flatmates' noses if she can't go out for a couple of weeks, I would assume?

KingscoteStaff · 19/10/2020 18:07

As soon as DS had his positive test he was inundated with housemates wanting to share his pint glasses or have a hug - sooner they get it, sooner they are out! Reminded me of those chicken pox parties we used to have when they were little.