Durham University

[NotEnoughTime]

Hello.

How many of us are waiting for their DC to hear back from Durham? My DS applied back in October last year and is getting very down now he knows that others who have received offers are being informed that they will be told soon re college allocations.

I am usually a 'no news is good news' type of person but even I am finding it hard to be upbeat as I too am fed up

I wish they would just let him me know soon if he is going to get an offer or a rejection and then he can get on with his life and his A Level revision without this hanging over him.

Forest I am sorry your DD is not having a happy experience. Quite a lot of societies are active - DD is rowing, has successfully auditioned for a chapel choir, and is rehearsing for auditions for musical theatre in the coming weeks. Does your DD live on the main site or one of the others? Is there anyone from an older year group in their household? Or any freps who could perhaps offer guidance about how to get more involved (Once their isolation period is over)?

@Forestbythesea Has your DD thougt about contacting college welfare - I don’t know which college she’s at but at my DD’s college there is a lovely, kind group of students who provide tea, toast, solace and all manner of essential emergency items! They are also recruiting for college positions so maybe your DD could try getting involved with a college society or two, which would introduce her to perhaps more like- minded people. They will be there- not all students are the drinking, throwing-up types.

DS just text - a housemate has today tested positive so they've been instructed to isolate as a block (14 students - 3 flats). He and his flatmates did an Ocado order yesterday so they won't starve. And the porter is arranging for post/parcels to be delivered to them.

I can't express how amazed I am by his proactivity!! And he's obviously actually socialising with his housemates, which is brilliant considering he's only talked to the same group of 6 boys since the age of 11. Never mind the essays, he's definitely learned to student

I think this will end when most students have had covid. I can't see any other way now that it has become so endemic.

Are there still households in any college without a covid case nor a currently suspected covid case?

Forest - I am so sorry. I am guessing she doesn't want to make an official report (I know the college has taken action against others for similar behaviour)....?

@Baytreemum thank you, the problem is, she is only allowed to mix with the people in her bubble, everything else is online. No one else in her bubble seems to care about catching Covid, in fact they seem to actively want it. I hope it doesn’t backfire and someone gets seriously sick.

Did she not end up in Kepler Cpurt then Forest, or am I mixing you up with someone else?

I am astonished that there are loos with no handwashi g facilities in this day and age ! How on earth do they expect any illness, never mind Covid, not to spread like wildfire? At least there is handgel for a preliminary clean before they go to their room basin

My ds is pretty grumpy - he is very much a loner. Everyone else is disappointed at having only 5 people to socialise with; he is disappointed to have to socialise with 5 other people, since they can only go to meals as a group. It will be good for him

@ForestbytheSea. I would encourage your DD to try some of the online stuff - my 2 DDs at different unis are doing all sorts of stuff online - course rep meetings, society stuff, yoga, ballet, interactive teamwork sessions, even a social today with lunch from fat hippo via deliveroo!! They are making the best of it and find it helps keep their spirits up a lot!

@ForestbytheSea I think if my DD (Year 2) had been in your DD position in first year she would have felt much the same. It’s horrible being stuck in with people you have little in common with. I’d definitely encourage her to sign up to societies and enquire about a college welfare drop in. My DD was available online this afternoon for drop ins for her college welfare. At least it’s somewhere private you DD could raise concerns. All colleges have senior tutors available for support too so that might be somewhere else for her to go. My DD is finding it hard not to have much face to face. Hopefully next week she will be put on the river kayaking but it was first years only this week understandably.

@ForestbytheSea Yes, and then maybe she could meet up with someone she clicks with online for a socially distanced walk or outside coffee?

Forest, what kind of things is your dd interested in societies wise?, my dd did a 2 hour online zoom with the Uni wide arts society last week

Also has she been allocated a college 'parent', dd says they each have an older student to go to for advice x

Not sure if anyone is aware but my friend goes to Durham. The link shows what happened but it's much worse than they report.
There has been threats of rape towards other students (girls).
Two i know have transferred University.

www.theguardian.com/education/2020/sep/23/durham-university-withdraws-freshers-place-over-abhorrent-online-posts

I don’t think anyone could have any connection with Durham and not be aware of those vile messages.

I was heartened by the fact that the University acted swiftly to remove one individual’s place. Several others proved to have no connection to the University whatsoever.

Every single young person to whom I spoke about this treated it with the disgust and abhorrence it deserved.

Supporting Kingscote's response here - only one of the people in that online chat was found to be an incoming Durham student, and they will now never be a Durham student. I also know of other instances where the university has acted swiftly to address sexually inappropriate activity, but I don't know of any girls who have transferred as a result. Were the cases you refer to reported and dealt with?

Sadly my in my friends case no, she received zero support and transferred to Saint Andrews.

I am aware of similar situations, im just relaying what others have said. A few people whose children have gone to Durham have commented on the snobbery, being excluded etc.

Obviously i hope everyone's children enjoy university, it's just something to be aware of. Many like the 'prestige, of Durham however their student satisfaction scores are dropping.

DD knew all about those messages before it all hit the press, they had been shared online in the Durham Facebook fresher groups, dd also said what was made public wasn't the worst.

I think at Durham there is a huge amount of snobbery and poor behaviour from some students who have little respect for others. However from my DD perspective who has come from state school in the north she has found her social group who are from diverse backgrounds, but who are all considerate, caring intelligent young people. She has also come into contact with some horrors (think drinking initiation type behaviour) but I don’t think it’s fair to tar Durham uni as a whole with the same brush.

Sadly my in my friends case no, she received zero support and transferred to Saint Andrews.

St Andrews are just as bad aren't they? There were stories recently about an American frat society and another elite society and multiple reports of sexual abuse with victims setting up their own Instagram page.

There were also similar stories about Exeter and Warwick a couple of years ago. I suspect nowhere is completely free from it unfortunately.

I think St Andrews would be out of the frying pan into the fire, according to the St Andrews Survivors' Group.

I find it difficult to believe that a complaint of sexually inappropriate behaviour was not addressed. I have first hand knowledge of the procedure at Durham. It is extremely thorough, and conducted by University representatives at a very high level. They offer support, and importantly, protection, to the complainant from day 1. If anyone is reading this thread and thinking "Well, I just won't bother registering my incident" please believe me - you really must. You will be taken seriously.

Feedback on Durham Brewery’s delivery is excellent! Birthday well celebrated with beer and Domino’s. The rest of his household made him a birthday card - which makes me happy!

That’s lovely ..he won’t forget this birthday...sent my daughter a box of stuff she wanted from home £20 with the post office 😱

@KingscoteStaff - glad to hear that a ‘good’ birthday was had and that they are keeping their morale up! How much longer wil they be stuck in? My DD still doing some meal delivery shifts! Says the trays are soooo heavy!

Their isolation/quarantine finishes at Midnight on Tues. DS then has a face to face tutorial at 11 on Wednesday, a gym session at Maiden Castle at 4 and a running club outing at 7, so will be getting out with a vengeance!

Imagine how unsympathetic this cohort will be to their own children’s Freshers’ Flu!