University life for freshers (2019/20) - Christmas backpacking (or not) and festive homecomings with all the tinseltastic trimmings!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread.

Note to selves : do NOT drink any alcohol (at all!) after having Night Nurse. I did this once one Christmas Eve. Not got any memory of the entire evening and couldn't make Christmas Dinner the next day.

Dd has a month off. Back on the 6th and finished on the 6th. Although she was actually home a few weeks before that due to the strikes.
Seems strange to think that we will have to take her back this time next week as we very quickly.got used to having her home again.

DS has been home for 2 weeks and been too ill to party. He's been feeling rotten for 11 days now and after 2 visits to the GP has finally been prescribed antibiotics. Not the Christmas we'd planned. Like many of your dc, at least he's in the right place to get better. At least he's not partying until 4am in the morning....

Hope he gets better soon Jano

11 days feeling rotten is awful for your DS @Jano69. DS is now on 'day 7' of it and rallied enough to go out for a family meal yesterday (although he didn't finish lunch which is more or less unheard of) but still not feeling back to normal.

Is it my imagination or does this seem to be affecting our young people rather more than older generations?

Thanks Olliepolly. Sorry to hear your DS is struggling too NewModel.

Maybe freshers flu is bigger for this generation than previous ones because so many people go to uni now. We also know of a couple of freshers who've gone down with mumps this Christmas which is awful for them. Have no idea whether they had the MMR....

It seems to be NewModel.
The combined effect of feeling rotten and not being able to enjoy anything or do anything productive, plus worrying about exams in January and not feeling well enough to revise has resulted in DD feeling very low. Then being bailed out on by "friends" at new year and suspecting that another "friend" is seeing her ex doesn't help.

I hate this dead time of year anyway.

Oh no, @Ginfordinner - the treachery of so-called 'friends'.

I agree about this time of year being strange. It's a 'pause' period really. Good to have time to recharge the batteries but not if ill and worrying about upcoming exams etc...

They will all be back to full health just as it's time to go back to university.

Your poor DD Ginfordinner - suspecting one of your "friends" is seeing your ex on top of everything else she has going on is the pits.

DD is more or less back to normal and I’m having to remind her to finish her course of antibiotics as she keeps forgetting.Finished tomorrow thankfully. She’s back to work later and back to Durham on 12/1. Hope everyone else recovers soon.

DD is feeling better than she was and is up to doing some revision today, but has declined an invitation to go out tonight.

So sad to hear of so many young people being unwell. I think immune systems are at their most vulnerable at this time of year. I'm annoyed with the amount of time DS is spending away from home. We have hardly seen him and he may not see his sister again until August, as she is studying abroad. Sometimes I wish he wasn't so sociable and it's hard to convince his age group that family is the most important, as so many of his friends have unstable family circumstances. DS doesn't and I know he loves us all, but I am resenting him spreading himself so thin when he has only 1 week left.

DD doesn't have enough friends at home sadly, and has spent a lot of the holidays on her own.

Mine’s been working mostly apart from last few days and we’ve seen all the family in that time which she’s enjoyed . Only been out clubbing once so far and met up with a friend twice. All of her friends that are home are working too. She’s really missing university.

It's interesting for me reading all of this. My university life and holidays were much as you are mostly describing - I came home during holidays, caught up with friends from school and work, partied, etc.

DD's life is very different. She went to boarding school at 14 so her friends are scattered around the state, and she has a few from much further afield.

They stay in touch online very effectively, and when she's home she takes my car and visits them, or they visit us, or they get together to see films or go bowling or just go to the mall. She doesn't drink when she's out, and partying isn't really something she's interested in. I don't think she's been to a nightclub in her life - her socialising is all done on campus or at friends' houses.

Her life is so different to mine - I'm not sure how 'normal' it is for an American college student either.

The problem for my DS is that none of his friends seem to be working either, even those who are at uni, so he seems to think it perfectly normal that he isn't, even though he has exams when he gets back. I mean the actual first day. I have bought him a loud clock to assist him in getting up even when his phone is out of charge. He isn't facing up to the reality of what is needed to remain a student in my opinion. Sadly.

By working, I mean paid work. DD hasn’t done much actual uni work. She hasn’t got any imminent essays or exams, just has to finish her personal statement to choose her Sept 20 field study.

Just had what passes for a conversation in the car conveyancing DS to yet another party. He has 2 exams when he goes back but is then free for 2 weeks and intends to come home. I don't think he quite gets the point about reading weeks, and don't know whether the uni explicitly tells them what they are expected to do.

@simbobs, my DS has also been out and about a lot and not doing much studying (needs to get on top of things!) I'm not sure whether he's missing uni as he's been catching up with so many friends and also a new friend 😉 but as he's home for 4 weeks, it's not too bad.
They are stepping away from us and into independent adult life.

My dd came home for a few days beginning of her holidays and then went back and came home 22nd but we had already booked to go away between xmas and new year with all the children but she decided she did not want to come as too much study to do.

Yes, @bigTillyMint, I accept that they grow up and move away from us, but my DS is still quite dependent in some ways (lifts, cash now and then) and needs us to help him stay on track, and pick him up when the proverbial hits the fan!

@simbobs, same here bar the lifts - thankfully good public transport in London. It's hard getting used to the new normal.

Dd has no friends at home. She was let down badly by some of her friends in the A level years, and she does not suffer fools, so she cut ties. She happily speaks and has friends on her course and in her accommodation, but doesn't then socialise with old school friends at home.

It's a bit sad to see, but she's happy that way. She would always rather spend time on her own, with her sister or with me. It's one of the reasons I'm happy she will still live on campus next year as the shared kitchen between 12 flatmates means she will see and socialise with far more people than she would see or speak to if she went and lived in a house share somewhere with just a few friends.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 - your description of your DD sounds very like my DD (currently year 10)
While DS always sails through and finds friends easily, she doesn’t really and (as you say) doesn’t suffer fools - unfortunately this means she often comes unstuck in friendship groups. I worry about her starting university (if that’s the path she chooses to take) and maybe campus accommodation will be best for her too.

DS has exams the first couple of weeks back and is trying his best to get work done, but I always think xmas hols is a tricky one with so many unusual days thrown into the mix! Hopefully he’ll do ok - would be a confidence boost for him and he will know he’s on track.

The week before Christmas was busy, and DD saw three sets of friends, but the bit between Christmas and new year has been very quiet. She has been out tonight, and now has been invited to a friend's for NYE, thank goodness. This NYE will be a difficult one for her, but these friends are lovely and supportive.