Oxbridge 2020 (6)

[Justneedatemporaryname]

New thread ready for when the old one gets filled up!

It seems like lots of our DC might end up at Durham if they don't receive Oxbridge offers next week

DS2 flatly refused to apply to Durham on the grounds that it was the graveyard of Oxbridge rejects. I told him this was grossly unfair and actually it's the Oxbridge of the North and a stunning city too, with Newcastle on the doorstep for great gigs, art, theatre and night life but he was still very negative about it. I think that's his loss. But he has a good London offer, which he's happy enough about.

millefiori same here - DS refused to consider Durham (too far from home) but has offers from other preferred alternatives. I'm currently trying to persuade DD (Y12) to visit Durham in the summer ahead of the next round of applications in our family! I've never been and hear it's a lovely place.

Hope everyone is remaining calm. DS seems totally unbothered, to the point of saying (the only time any of us have mentioned it since the interview) that he's not sure whether he'd accept a Cambridge offer if he gets one. I suspect that's self-protection but it can be hard to tell with him.

I will be thinking of you all, keeping my fingers crossed for offers for all the DC in the group, and checking here regularly for updates and to share our news, good or bad.

And DD4 flatly refused to consider London! They've all got to find their own thing.

I keep talking up Durham to DS as I think that's where he will go if Oxford don't offer (he has an offer from Durham). Course is great for him, but DW has heard horror stories about accommodation: shared rooms, flats above noisy nightclubs... obviously some do have bad experiences, but maybe some of you could reassure with the positives of the college system and nice rooms.

I guess the whole "Oxbridge reject" attitude is a question of mindset. You could spend your time at Durham brooding over your rejection, or laugh it off, or even be determined to prove what you're capable of - with an aspiration to get a first and then to Oxford to do a PhD! If you associate too much with the brooders, then I am sure the "graveyard" impression will be self-fulfilling.

Plantainchips I think DS1 had five actually but you know, if this applicant was told he was going to do extra for standardisation..... I just thought Medicine does tend to have four or five (quite a lot) as standard.

Oxford is the one where you need to watch the nightclub accommodation DadDadDad (DS1 lived next door - quite handy for getting home though :)) The problem with Durham is too few nightclubs!

Agree completely about mindset DadDadDad - 100%

Very happy to reassure DW DadDadDad. DS4 has had a lovely time - very happy indeed/ perfectly ok room and house(not near a nightclub)/ beautiful city and plenty of places to escape traffic etc.

Although if you like traffic there are some nice main roads nearby too.

From what he described, DS's interviews were of the tame type. He was given problems to do, and he solved them. There were some tricky parts, but nothing unfamiliar. He was expecting something more challenging/stretching, and feels that he didn't get the chance to impress the interviewers. In one interview he was asked about a research project mentioned in his PS, but I suspect this was an ice-breaker question.

Speculating on the calibre of the other applicants (BPhO top golds or representing their country in international science olympiads) I recognise that DS is not in that league.

I think he will be disappointed initially (the course is unique and really appeals to him) but I trust he'll recover swiftly and start to get excited about his next top choice.

They will all do well Ironoaks , these kids are already outstanding, including your ds! It's too easy to look at all the other candidates and be impressed

I am pleased that my grandson has been considered at all!

DD’s college only posts out the offers on Tuesday so she won’t know until Wednesday.

Brilliant. Thanks HS.

Thanks goodbye. I really hope my DS gets an offer from Durham and preferably before next week as it would really boost his confidence (he has been a bit low recently due to a variety of reasons) especially in the event of a non Oxbridge offer.

Re the lack of nightclubs in Durham I have it on good authority that lots of the students go to Newcastle for a 'big' night out as it is only 'up the road' so best of both worlds really :)

@notenoughtime Durham does seem lovely. Unfortunately we didn't go to an Open Day and DD has never been, just presumed it's too far from London and went off it. Now she's saying if she gets a no one Wednesday she'll take a gap year and reapply. If so, I will insist we do proper Open Days and visit a better variety of schools. We only saw 3 together, and with her school she visited Oxford, Cambridge and Birmingham. Now advising friends with Year 12 students to get cracking!

I'm not happy because one of DD's teachers, who's been most involved in helping her with her Oxbridge application, has told her that if she doesn't get an offer (this is what she expects) she should try again next year. He's told her that she's better at her subject than the other people he's prepared and who have got in in the past, and deserves to get in, that it's the best place for her, etc etc. But she has no clue about what she would do in a gap year and has never shown any interest in a gap year. She also has an offer from a very nice 2nd choice. I'd hate to see her having a crappy year next year, waitressing or whatever, regardless of whether she got an Oxbridge offer or not. Oxbridge is not the be all and end all. But at that age, I'm not sure that she's very interested in a parent's viewpoint.
DD hadn't seen her 2nd choice, as too far to go for an open day. So over the Christmas holiday I took her there. Luckily, she really liked the look of the place.

I have been saying the same to my friends with DC in year 12/L6 FingernailNibbler.

My DS is also saying that he will take a year out of he doesn't get an offer from Cambridge or Durham. I'm not sure if I think this is a good idea or not as I think he could be very happy at the other universities he holds offers from but at the end of the day it is up to him.

I was lurking on TSR and saw an interesting thread posted by a mum (ds swears that 99% of TSR users are mothers...) whose dd wanted to try for Oxbridge for a third time (she did not have great achieved grades). It all seemed a catastrophe waiting to happen as the parent wasn't brave enough to tell the dd to move on.

Oh dear, Irma, that sounds a bit mad! The poor child is totally stuck in a holding pattern. Maybe time for their DM to be firm with them.

Torchlightt that would make me a bit cross.

ds swears that 99% of TSR users are mothers...

I admit that last month I was tempted to sign up on TSR and impersonate my DS to engage in some discussions, but my inner mumsnetter (rightly) shot down that helicopter.

That TSR post was very sad. Her DD got offer (2xA+A for English) but missed by quite a way on results day (think she got ABB). It is not quite as stark as implied - she re-applied to the same college with those poor (for Cambridge) achieved grades and 3xA* predicted. I think many people could have told her that she was very likely to get rejected pre-interview.

We don't know how close to As she was, her teachers were still predicting As for her re-sits and some of you will discover in the summer how dreadful A level marking is - at DS's school nobody got more than a C for music and the school cannot understand why (one who got a very poor mark for her practical has a place on the jazz course at Guildhall School of Music which was a super-competitive audition). If she was close to the A thresholds and had a reason for underachievement, it is feasible that she could get Ax3 and re-apply successfully to a different college.

People were implying that she would go on and on trying, but missing an offer once then not getting an interview with second set of predicted grades does not necessarily mean that it would not be worth having another shot if she got 3xA in her re-sits. It would not be worth applying again if she did not get an interview next year with Ax3 achieved.

You invest a lot of time, effort and emotion into an application and it is awful for the ones who fail to meet their offer, so it is worth trying to get DCs to emotionally invest in insurance choice too.

Omg I can’t imagine the stress of twins applying.
Dd has offers from Bath, Bristol and St Andrews not heard anything from LSE . Oxford would be amazing but in the end it doesn’t guarantee any lesser success in the future. These last few days are awful.