The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - Will NewModelArmyMayhem18 forgive me?

[MrKlaw]

previous thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3701968-The-ABC-of-university-life-2019-20-cohort-settling-in-we-hope

Hope you don't mind - people have pent up comments about cheese graters and traffic cones to get out of their system!

The 4 boys in the flat seem to have bonded well but the girl seems to do her own thing.

Is it just 4 men and one woman? I know allocation is complicated, with various variables, but I do think accommodation allocation should try to avoid a situation where there's only one of the 'other' sex - in either direction. Am I old fashioned? It can't be that difficult to have a computer programme that bars that outcome.

My DS managing reasonably but can't get his netbook onto the college system - he has seen the IT person twice but there still seems to be an issue with whether his device is fully up to date with systems upgrades. I'm pretty sure it is, since I ran them through for him a few days ago, but I'm sure what he is doing is nodding at everything the support guy says, going back to his room, doing what he can remember, hitting another snag, and then just leaving it. Meanwhile, the longer it is offline, the more out of date it will get . . . . I'm really sitting on my hands trying not to interfere. I suppose he'll get there eventually.

What with these concerns and those about DH's unknown health situation, I'm sinking into a bit of a morass of anxiety/depression. It is early days for both things (DS has only been there a bit over two days!), so I hope to snap out of it soon.

I thought that too Avillage She is also the only non Scot and is a year older than the rest as well.

I checked with DS to make sure they are attempting to include her and not crowding her out. He says they are not and that she spends a lot of time speaking to folk on her phone and has some other friends in other flats.

DS has a male name (Gaelic) that does look like it could be a misspelled female name but he definitely put male on his forms - he also has long hair but the beard usually makes it clear that he is definitely a bloke :o

@SchrodingersKitty
DD managed it yesterday evening after a few days swearing at the system - she was not the only one with a problem so they did it together and now it works (including the moodle access) - for the time being...

I checked with DS to make sure they are attempting to include her and not crowding her out. He says they are not

You and ds are nice! That is good of them (and you, to check) - and if she has friends in other flats she may be happy enough. I hope the accommodation office doesn't go by names to determine sex - that has always been unreliable! I have read a few unimpressive tales about allocation on mn this year - I know it's difficult with all the different factors, but it's so important to the students not to feel isolated in their accommodation, particularly when it's in the form of flats.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus: glad to hear mine's not the only one! He is a bit diffident about asking for help, even though I keep telling him the getting everyone networked is the IT person's main job this week.

@SchrodingersKitty
I am even in a different country - the problems seem to be the same.
She's got ADHD.

Thanks Avillage they all seem to be a decent bunch. getting birthday cards and cake for each other (and the only girl). They are already talking about doing a 4 person flat share somewhere next year but it's maybe too soon. That was the last of them turned 18 this week. They all seem to hack clicked with the group in another flat too so I think they tend to socialise across the two flats and not allow general randoms.

When DS moved in, we met the girl and 2 boys and as it's a 5 person flat, I said that the last person must also be a girl but it was another male.

I was a bit surprised too. Maybe not many girls have said they are happy to have mixed? All their room doors lock and they do have 2 toilets, he said they are trying to keep it one male and one female (some of their visitors are also female but obviously not always possible and the shower is shared but also has a locking door.

DS2 is a good soul though, DS1 is struggling a bit with his mental health and just not going out the house apart from to uni and back or with us. he took him out for a pint or two when he was back and they also went for lunch on the way to the train home and DS1 has now told me that DS2 invited him to come up for a weekend and go out with him and his friends (and kip on his floor). Honestly, sometimes my heart just gets too many feels...

Sorry to hear about the hard time you and DH are having SchrodingersKitty I hope you get some resolution soon.

@SchrodingersKitty DD couldn’t get herself onto the uni WiFi and had to go to IT support. She was very anxious about going but they kindly got her up and running. She then phoned up very proud of herself!!

@Numbersarefun: good for her! DS seems to have got to the root of the problem - that the system wants him to have a later version of Word. Not sure why as its quite recent. He has to keep leaving for the next scheduled event but I do think he's now on top of it and is finding work-arounds until he can actually get it fixed. The university IT people might well be more on the ball than the college person, so I'll suggest he tries them later.

All these issues with technology! I agree - I was at uni in 1989 and everything seemed so simple then. I always think that the introduction of computing has made things more complex, not less so. In a similar way at work I feel that this - so much more is asked of everyone.

I always think that the introduction of computing has made things more complex But imagine how much easier it must be writing an essay and being able to edit going along.

I think it would be better to have some boys only and some fully mixed than have one girl on their own if there's a misbalance.

Having said that I ended up the only girl in my flat in the second year, and it was fine. However that was both my choice and I knew them before. I would have really struggled with it if I'd arrived to find that in my first year I think.

They had very few options when putting in their request for accommodation. Whether they wanted single sex or didn't mind and whether they wanted a gaelic speaking flat. That's the SNP for you....

You couldn't specifically request mixed so you'd expect then the default to be single sex and then some mixed if there was an imbalance. I'd have thought in a flat of 5 it would be 3/2 if it was mixed tbh. I'm not sure i'd be that happy if it was 4 girls and 1 boy either. Whilst they will all make friends (and maybe even better friends) with people from their lectures, their first source of friendship is likely to be their flatmates, especially as lectures don't start for a week after they've arrived.

Having said that, I personally would rather live with 4 guys than 4 girls as I tend to get on better with men anyway (not in a romantic sense). So DH and 2 sons has probably worked out well for me :o

I think it would be better to have some boys only and some fully mixed than have one girl on their own if there's a misbalance.

Totally agree - and indeed the other way round! I can think of several students I know who would have been very disappointed to be the only woman. I think if you sign up for mixed you naively assume you won't be the only one of your sex - if that was made clear as a possibility, I think a lot of people would opt for single sex instead. Feeling slightly grr about this - silly I know!

I don't recall DS being asked anything about preferences re his accommodation. I don't even know what type of mix he's got in his flatshare, he's that unforthcoming with information!

Yes, writing and editing essays is possibly the only positive of technology IMO. I recall the screeds of paper (reformed environmental terrorist) I got through doing every piece of coursework. And don't get me started on typing up a dissertation!!!!

DS phoned today had found something in the fridge had been open for ages he said, should he eat it. I advised not to. Said next time, cling film and freeze.

Did it pass the sniff test justasking? :o

I thought of that but he is full of cold it was 12 days old leftover haggis.

That sounds like a bucket job. Our rules are: Chicken and pate - stick to the date. Cheese fine and just scrape any bad bits off. beef is fine for a few days, Yoghurts are alright for a week. anything else sniff, but if it's home made stuff then really needs eaten or chucked on the 3rd day.

@justasking111, left over haggis
I have only ever eaten it on Burns night at a Scottish friends house - I didnt realise it was for regular consumption

We have it all the time bigTilly A good cooked breakfast isn't the same without it and DSs regularly have it on a filled roll for breakfast at the weekend. Do the triple with some square sausage and a tattie scone, all slathered with brown sauce... :o

When we do family brunches we always have haggis and black pudding, lorne sausage I haven`t bought in years, was brilliant when the children were young. DS is introducing his flat mates to the joy of a full cooked breakfast including haggis and black pudding. I wonder if he has done cowboy beans as well?

At least some cooking is going on - Ds2 doesn't eat beans, cowboy or otherwise.