The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - Will NewModelArmyMayhem18 forgive me?

[MrKlaw]

previous thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3701968-The-ABC-of-university-life-2019-20-cohort-settling-in-we-hope

Hope you don't mind - people have pent up comments about cheese graters and traffic cones to get out of their system!

@Benjispruce thank you. Will remember that!! It is now nearly 7pm and I haven't finished painting the first coat of ds bedroom yet. As I predicted the previous colour is shining through. One of my sons said that it looked like a blue sky on a cloudy day which was not a compliment!! It really is a good job that ds1 is happy to stay in uni until Christmas as it will take ages to complete. It will be worth it though as I can tell that Homebase pale duck egg blue is preferable to lurid turquoise or whatever the last colour was called!! By the way has anyone found that their dd / ds departure has altered the dynamic in the family? Ds1 was quiet but the loudest in the house - I've realised how much quieter the other 3 were and find that I am encouraging their conversation and their voice more nowadays.

Clankboing I have recently discovered our local Crown Decorating Centre. The staff there are very knowledgable, and when I was talking to them about my plans for redecorating the dining roomI was advised to paint the walls white first before putting on the top coat.

Haha Ginfordinner that would have made sense!! Why didn't I think of that!! I now have 1/4 of the room left. Have whatsapped a photo to ds1 who is pleased about it so that is a relief.

I know, it is so obvious. I didn't even think of it myself, but it was a passing comment by me that made the shop assitant advise me to paint over the colour in white first. They are incredibly helpful.

Eat well for less .... hats off to them !!
They like cooking more than I do !! .. I could survive on hummus and bread !!

DD finds it so much cheaper cooking together. Well, they take turns. Worth encouraging if poss!

Thanks @OatyGoaty, she's getting there. She was at home 4 days but insisted I took her back yesterday, despite still running a temperature. 3 more days of antibiotics to go. Just hope she remembers to take them. I will be texting twice a day to check!

DS has only had two weeks of actual term but has already had to do two essays, three presentations (one group), and a whole lot of technical exercises. His load is very uneven because of the joint degree - one essay one week, then one essay plus three other time consuming things the next. He is having to work all weekend to try and even up the load.

He's finding the research, reading and essays are fine, but the fiddly smaller things are taking up far longer than they need to, because they involve things that his dyspraxia makes very challenging. I'm sure he'll find a way through, but at the moment he feels so short of time that he still hasn't followed up about a meeting with the disabilities service to finalise his support plan.

I'm trying really hard not to nag and to find a balance between offering support and advice and leaving him to it. He sounded very depressed over the weekend but seems more cheery now, having finished most of the load of work due in today.

It is really early days for him, compared to most of the other DC, and we knew Oxford would be very intensive, but it is very different to what it was in my day - lots of very micromanaged tasks rather than the free rein to work on what interests you which is what we had, and what would really suit him. I am hoping that this is just a feature of the first term and they will allow them to work more independently later.

@SchrodingersKitty worth persuading him to talk to his tutors about his uneven load.
In my 2nd year both our (maths) tutors scheduled the session for the same day. It meant we had all the work to hand in on the same day. At the end of term we were chatting, and one of us said that it had been really tough having them on the same day. Their faces fell and they looked at each other and said "but why didn't you say? We would have changed one."
After that they used to check they were spaced out so we didn't have as much of a rush for the deadlines in theory

Ds phoned dd last night to tell her he missed her. Very sweet, not totally sure how much she appreciated it as she was just about to cook dinner!

2nd term that was rather than 2nd year. We'd have had more confidence to speak up by then!

@Witchend - yes, I think that's his plan. He's currently at a session with all of the people on his course in the uni, so he may get more of a sense of the ways other colleges are arranging the loads for the joint students.

@SchrodingersKitty Good, hope he sorts it. We didn't realise you could say things like that-assumed it was like school where you just had to get on with it.

@SchrodingersKitty I agree with witchend’s suggestion to get him to ask tutors to see if there is a work around. My DD has an ASD thing where she feels really uncomfortable in small rooms. She’s asked and has been able to change tutorial groups to a more ‘preferable’ room. They are so accommodating and it’s an adult to adult relationship not like school. It’s still early days for him so I hope he settles and gets into the swing of things.

Poor DD is nursing fresher's flu version 3 instead of going to a birthday party tonight

On a brighter note she saw disability services today and they have put loads of support in place for her CFS. And on another brighter note there are 5 of them who want to share a house next year. I was so worried that she wouldn't find anyone to share with.

I hope she feels better for Halloween. It's her favourite time of year.

Gin I hope she hasn’t got what my Dd kindly gave me from Newcastle 10 days ago. I am still poorly. Haven’t worked for a week. She’s better though!

She has a very sore throat and feels dizzy.

That sounds very similar to what DD had Gin she totally lost her voice last week and hasn't left campus in a week. I got no reply when I asked if she was remembering to take her inhaler, because she probably isn't

She must be feeling a bit better though as she ordered a takeaway last night

DD is also a huge fan of Halloween, the student union are putting on pumpkin carving today (she's excited about getting a free pumpkin) and she's bought her ticket for the fancy dress thing on thursday. She's been planning her outfit since before she left.

I'm also a big Halloween person, but it's very weird putting up the decs without her. And without any other kids at home, I've fully morphed into THAT weird cat lady who dresses up and hands out candy

P.S. I forgot to say Gin hope she gets better soon

Thank you Boris. She is struggling with the workload at the moment, so I hope this virus doesn't take too much of a toll.

Mines coughing up green stuff and sleeping propped up as she’s struggling to sleep at night - she’s booked to join the no doubt long list of sniffly students etc to see the GP

DS looking a lot better on a video call. Says that he is feeling better because he is cooking good food and not going out as they did at the beginning.

Re next year and rents - rent in Dundee was less than halls. We gave dd enough over the summer to pay the rent, her loan came in earlier as Scottish term starts earlier. She lived off her earnings and obviously we were paying for all food etc.
If you aren't able to help with rent then this is where their overdraft comes in and they will just need to be v overdrawn.

Gin Oh no! That sounds familiar. Just a note of warning - Dd registered online for the nearest GP which was inside Boots. Everyone in her flat did. Email came through saying thank you for registering. What none of them saw was the small print at the bottom saying you had to turn up in person within 2 weeks with ID to confirm. Do none of them are actually registered. When Dd went to arranged an appt the lady was incredibly snotty and told her straight away what she’d done wrong. Which begs the question, why not make it clearer in the email?

@Ginfordinner, sorry to hear your DD is feeling ill and struggling with her workload.
It is hard for them getting to grips with their new lives, even if everything is going well.

No news from DS about anything, but we did only see him on Saturday

Thanks for the good wishes. I think DD registered with a GP as soon as she arrived as she is on regular repeat prescriptions.