The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - Will NewModelArmyMayhem18 forgive me?

[MrKlaw]

previous thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3701968-The-ABC-of-university-life-2019-20-cohort-settling-in-we-hope

Hope you don't mind - people have pent up comments about cheese graters and traffic cones to get out of their system!

@Trewser sounds very generous-spirited of your DD but yes, you are right to think it's not on. Hope he's not taking the P.

For those of you whose student DC have had siblings to stay, have they all been 18 or older? I ask because DD would love to visit DS but according to their accommodation contracts, under 18s aren't allowed to stay over.

MrKlaw DD has to study another subject linked in with her degree subject as part of her course. She's chosen something that looks really interesting to her, but says it's hard. Two essays due in this week, so been keeping her head down trying to do well.

On the plus side has a good set of friends and likes her room, location and view

I've never looked at DS2s contract but DS1 is over 18 so it wouldn't be an issue. However. there will still be 17 year olds in halls at a lot of Scottish Uni's so it would be a bit weird to ban that age group. Most will turn 18 by Christmas, but some could still be 17 until end Feb and theoretically, some could still only be 16 now and not turning 18 for at least another year. I don't think that will apply to may if any though nowadays.

I wondered if it was some type of safeguarding issue? Imagine that as you say, in Scotland the rules would be different, @WaxOnFeckOff.

Where do visitors stay? Sleeping bag on the floor not very comfy!

And I wouldn’t want my face to be too close to the carpet in DD’s room.

ooh yes, I'd not be happy about that either Trewser it is taking the pee, hopefully her mentor will give her some ideas to deal with it.

DD came home this weekend (I felt quite guilty as we were at a wedding on saturday), she enjoyed seeing the cats, spending our money and doing her ironing in front of a big TV . She also raided the shed for halloween decs.

She's coming home again in November, she has every monday off which on paper looks fab but can lead to a very long boring weekend (her campus seems very quiet on weekends).

P.S. it's me, RaptorInaPorkPieHat, I've name-changed for Halloween.

@Trewser annoying yes but what a lovely girl you have.

Apparently he's quite open about his mum doing everything for him when he was at home! She said she started doing it as a favour but its gone on for weeks and she's not sure how to get out of it as he says he won't eat otherwise. Thought I'd brought her up to stand up for herself!

Hmmm @Trewser, he sounds like a master manipulator.

Yeah i kind of hate him!

@Trewser ... he's the student equivalent of a cock lodger !!!!! ... Im trying to think of the correct term ....

he says he won't eat otherwise How does he survive the other 3/4 nights a week then manipulative indeed!

I suppose the options are:

1. tell him to do his own cooking (the harsh/straight talking option)
2. ask him to contribute to the food budget AND at least wash up
3. start a cooking rota in the flat

The response to "I won't eat then" is "Ok, then" whilst eating her bowl of food and walking away

Poor girl, it's a hard thing to deal with. Very frustrating when doing something nice for someone else turns into them taking advantage

I do feel for your daughter Trewser. Similar things used to happen to me as a teenager so I fully empathise. She's doing the right thing by telling her mentor. It's not on to be taken advantage off even if he really is strapped for cash.

he says he won't eat otherwise

He is using emotional blackmail to guilt trip your DD into cooking for him Trewser. It isn't fair on her.

If he is bright enough to pass his A levels to get into university then he can jolly well read a recipe book or google some simple recipes online. If he genuinely has no money then she is doing the right thing by talking to student services. And I blame his parents for not getting him to learn to cook before going to university. There is no excuse not to learn to cook these days.

I'm going up to see her this week so I might scope him out. Someone's cooking for her tonight at least!

Is he an international student Trewser?

DS1 is planning on taking up a camping mat and sleeping bag. He has some that roll up teeny tiny that he had for DofE canoe trip. He'll take up a pillowslip and Ds2 will donate one of his pillows or he will just shove his clothes/jacket into the pillow slip. He doesn't want to take up much more than a back pack (plus anything else that DD2 has talked him into bring up). Theoretically he could drive but he'll need to be back on Sunday, won't want to be driving back all the way in the dark as he's never driven there before and who knows what time the might stop drinking on Saturday night/Sunday morning so he'll worry about being over the limit. DS1 isn't a big drinker but I suspect his brother might lead him astray and I wouldn't want him to feel constrained by the thought of driving the next day.

DS's latest crisis is laundry! He has just run out of clothes so has to brave the laundry room. According to the college handbook they were supposed to be given cards on arrival to work the machines but he doesn't think he was (I don't either). He now has to negotiate buying washing powder, talking to the porters about the card situation, and then actually working out the machines. Expecting a lot of frantic calls this evening! The upside is that in looking for the card he finally sorted all the paperwork he has been given into piles ready for filing - so that's something!

Still only two weeks there as of today, so I suppose he's not doing too badly.

Oh dear - I hope he remembered to keep a spare pair of underwear for emergencies!

At DSs halls they need to buy a card, it's something like £2 or £10 with £8.50 credit on it. They need the card to use the machines but they can see via an app if the machines are available.

He'll probably be running out of all the lovely clean ironed stuff he took back up with him a couple of weeks ago now.

DS called me yesterday to ask what temperature to wash his towel/bed linen on. The towel was in a pretty grim state having been used daily for three weeks!

@Trewser, how lovely is your DD? But she mustn't be a doormat! Great you're going up - looking forward to hearing

@Benjispruce, and other DU mums, did your DC go to the races on Sunday? DS sent a pic, but no other info!!!

By the way, the reason I asked if they were an international student wasn't because I'm a racist! (just read it again and thought that could be implied).

We often have young staff coming over from overseas for training for weeks/months. We have had many issues, firstly that they thought that stuff here was too expensive to buy, eve though they had a decent expenses allowance and also that they thought they'd be able to take the money that they didn't spend home. We had issues with them staying in a hotel because they were damaging the kettles trying to cook boil in the bag food in them. We tried renting a shared house and giving them an allowance but they weren't eating properly and saving the money. They now go to a small group of B&Bs where they get fussed over and supplied with breakfast and dinner and they get taken to the canteen at lunchtime by their team and have an allowance on a card to spend, if they don't spend it then it's lost.

Don’t think so @bigTillyMint as she had Cheerleading.

@Jano69 I hope you told him to boil it in bleach