The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - Will NewModelArmyMayhem18 forgive me?

[MrKlaw]

previous thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3701968-The-ABC-of-university-life-2019-20-cohort-settling-in-we-hope

Hope you don't mind - people have pent up comments about cheese graters and traffic cones to get out of their system!

@mum2eim, thank you, will Google them!

@Benjispruce, DS says some come with detergent and some dont
He also said he enjoyed mixed lacrosse - did someone else say their DD is doing it?

And DS says they are going to the races on Sunday - any other Durham students going?

@Ragwort @Alicatz66 @minesawine
I have heard about Annie's burger shack and will definitely take DS there at some time.
When we went, we visited a restaurant called Penny Lane in the city centre. Burgers etc, fun cocktails and a retro arcade. It was a fun afternoon. The arcade reminded me of Stranger Things!
There's also a Cosmo in the city centre which is a all-you-can-eat buffet style restaurant - good if you like that type of thing.

@blametheparents ... Ooooh .. will
Pay a visit to Penny Lane next time ! DS actually went to the GooseFair with his friend from Trent and said it was really good !

Schrodingers that’s good about them filming the lectures too (I would hate to be a lecturer nowadays and be filmed). I have mentioned before that Dd had a coughing fit and left a lecture early to have to watch a replay of the commotion later

Interesting that conversation has veered into ADHD/OCD/dyspraxua etc.

@Simbob, DS2 has been on medication for ADHD for some yrs now and we've been through all the highs and lows of it together, so if you have any questions, any at all please pop me a message .

@Simbobs, you may also find this interesting Executive function impairment in ADD

Years ago, before I knew the first thing about ADD, I actually tried to find my DD some Executive Functioning skills training because I could see how she was struggling with focus, organisation, timeliness, etc. I couldn't find anything at the time. It didn't occur to me that ADD might be the root of her issues.

Now I have a son diagnosed with ADHD, the psychologist who assessed him pointed me towards several sources of Executive Functioning Skills training, and it's been very helpful for him.

So I've put him on the train back to Boston and he'll be back in his dorm by late afternoon. DH made him a pan of brownies and picked up lunch for him to have on the train. He's taking Amtrak Accela, which is the higher speed, more posh train so he'll have a comfortable ride back.

We all went out for a lovely dinner last night with my MIL, who wanted to see him. And the really good news is that he didn't mention transferring to another uni once over the weekend, so we're hoping that he's getting over his friend/roommate not coming back this year and the friction he's having with the new crew team captain, who is, by the way, a woman. Women outnumber men on his team by about two to one, so his coach really wants him to stay on. They've already had their first competition.

Oh, and DS had ADHD (in addition to his language delay) in primary school but was really over the worst of it by secondary school. It was never bad enough to warrant medication. The language delay was a much bigger problem for him as it set him back in his reading. It also seemed to make it harder for him to learn another language, so we had to find a uni that didn't require more than 3 years of it in secondary and no more at uni. He really struggled with French, but his sister is aces at it.

Gosh, there seems to be a lot of it about! My DS had very advanced linguistic skills. He started to speak a little later than his sister - around 13 months but seemed to learn to speak in short phrases and very quickly moved on to full sentences. A speech therapist wanted me to take him to a uni to be studied, but I didn't.

DD has made contact with the people dealing with additional help. She does not need it right now (ADHS + dyscalculia), but she likes to be prepared. She copes with her brain by setting herself a very strict external schedule (sport every evening, no alcohol or coffee, sleep routine etc.)
At school she was the one to check wether her mate's seizure medication clashed with her drinking, took her to bed, coped with the vom...). She was the most adult 15 year old.

DD has a 'group' task which is actually a partner based assignment. She had been partnered with a girl who was joint honours, who has now decided to drop DD's subject and just do her other subject - which leaves DD without a partner. I'm sure it will be resolved, but it's not the best start! She'd really liked her partner too.

I felt a bit self conscious rocking up to uni on Saturday, like we shouldn't be there. But we weren't the only parents meeting students that day as we did see a few others. Mostly, dd was just pleased to see us, which was the main reason we went.

Went to see DS2 at the weekend, took him his bike and brought the dog along as he misses him, it was very lovely seeing him and even though the weather wasn’t good we had a pleasant dog walk on the beach.
DS is loving everything, fitting in very well to his new life and has definately moved on, we are now not needed in his life in the same way, lovely to see, we are so pleased he’s found a good pathway for his future, long may it last.

These stories of very clever DCs coping with their different functioning brains makes me think of my youngest Dd. She, unknown to us, was almost deaf in one ear due to congestion (with think from when she had chickenpox plus a plague of other infections at one). I used to read to her on that side, running my finger along the words. After her first day of school, just aged 4 (another summer baby) the reception assistant came out and announced she knew 250 flash cards. Got dagger eyes from lots of mums. She must of just picked it up from having had to concentrate so much as she couldn’t hear so well. I didn’t even realise she knew so much She also spoke very late. I reminded her of this last year and she said it was because her older sister spoke enough for the both of them and that she didn’t feel the need! Also because she couldn’t hear so well she watched everything - which is possibly how she hacked into the school maths system from home age 4 too.

My DD has dyspraxia.

So far she has received a SLD plan from the uni and has weekly sessions with her tutor who is LOVELY

She gets some academic leeway on deadlines etc. Also she gets to use specific parts of the library to work.

So far I'm so impressed with York. I wish her High school had been this good.

@ZandathePanda
How did you feel when you found out - about the ear I mean and the effort your DD made to compensate (and she did it so well!)?
When DS had is preschool eye test (at 5y old), he turned out to be +8 on both eyes. I thought he simply liked counting when in reality it was "stop after 7 on the climbing frame otherwise I'll break my neck".

Glad to hear that the support is going well Framey.

And that's amazing Zanda

We went on on our first holiday abroad when Ds1 was coming up for 3 months and DS2 was 20 months old. I know the date as we went with friends who's DD turned 2 while we were away and so they had to pay for a seat for her on the plane and we didn't for DS2 despite the fact that he was twice her size! Anyway in teh months prior to going, we'd found a book about going on holiday and we'd read it a fair bit to DSs - it was basically about a street full of people and there were little 4 line poems about each person in the street - about 10 if I remember. DS2 could recite the whole book from memory before we got on holiday - completely accurately. It looked like he was reading it :o

He looked a lot older than he was though so on appearance it dodn't look remarkable.

We also got pulled aside when he started nursery. His group leader had been talking to the group about a visit to "Tescos". He pulled her up on it and said there was no S on the end. She actually had to go and check and then realised he was correct and then wanted to tell us all about it. :o

Then High school couldn't understand why we were frustrated that he was doing quite poorly at some stage as if we were expecting them to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. Primary had tested his reading age as 15 before he was 10. He is no genius, but he shouldn't have been struggling.

DS1 on the other hand could complete a 60 piece jigsaw without the picture when he was just turned 3 and yet barely uttered a word.

They all have their talents and it's a shame that so many schools fail them.

@Zanda, that's so funny about the 'dagger eyes', from other mums and not bothering to speak as her dsis spoke enough for both of them .

Ahhh thanks for the nice comments about Dd2 everyone. She’s still one of a kind.
Prokup I felt awful when we found out about her ear. Only in hindsight did it make sense about the reading and she actually confirmed that’s what she used to do. I think some of the playground mums thought she was a bit odd as she didn’t chat much and preschool were worried about her social development. I just knew she was fine - benefit of being a more confident mum second time round.

Hope your son’s eyes have got better - I think as eyeballs get bigger (along with the rest of you) you get more short sighted so his prescription should have gone down?

I am in awe at your DCs special powers! I don't think mine had any, although both walked v young, DS had very good ball skills from 12 months and DD could chat the hind legs off a donkey by 2

Zenda, thank you, yes he is at ca. +4 and +2 now at 17y and in his last two years of school. Then I'll be hopefully joining the 2021 thread of 'off to uni"

Just had DD on in tears. She is struggling in the evenings as all of her friends go to bed early, and she is feeeling lonely in the evenings. They all have content heavy courses with 9 am starts, so going out on weekday evenings is a no-no. She says they are lovely and sociable during the day. They went to the pub for lunch today, but then in the evenings, nothing.

She needs to pal up with others on her course, it will happen as she meets new people. The first term is the hardest because they have so much less to do on some courses. Tell her to enjoy the lull because it will become full on.

justasking it is really full on now. And she has palled up with people from her course. There are about 10 of them in her group. They all go to bed early, plus they live in halls some way away from hers, and she isn't keen on wandering around Newcastle on her own at night.

How odd.. my Durham ds2 also has dcd/dyspraxia .. he had numerous tics and flicks when he was younger as he wasn’t able to isolate movements, so everything moved all the time. He also didnt manage to ride a bike till he was 14 or swim till he was 15-16. His processing speed is very slow but he has a very definite method - his own way of doing things.. 😊 he’s very much an odd ball, but imo completely fabulous!