UEA freshers (2019 starters) part 2

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread and hope you don't mind that I set up the next thread @juicy0. Just did it to ensure that we carry on chatting seamlessly

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 thanks for asking. No they decided to keep the sister dog. I thought they would. She has teenagers that aren't keen on walking the dog. Mum is at work, dad has left them. But the threat of the dog going has upset the teenagers so much they have promised to walk the dog. I would like another dog to keep ours company. The boys want another dog but dh says no. It's always the men that are in disagreement!

@Itscoldouthere I know exactly where you are coming from about the gaming. Ds1 (at UEA) isn't a great gamer. But ds2 is a nightmare. Hes 16. He comes home from school and goes straight into his bedroom and onto his Xbox. He then spends the evening shouting down his headset to all his mates. He only comes down for food and knows on school nights he has to turn off at 10pm. But when there's no school he stays up late into the night. Then sleeps till late afternoon the following day. Has breakfast around 4pm and goes on the Xbox. He refuses to come out with us. Says we are all weirdos. He says everybody spends all their time gaming and it's "normal" It's so hard to stop him. He's refused to come on a holiday with us this year. I don't trust him left at home, so we've not booked a holiday. One thing about ds1 going to university is that ds2 is jealous of him leaving home, at his parents eve his teachers said his attitude has completely changed in year 11. I knew why. He said previously that he wasn't going to bother with GCSEs as he didn't see the point. Now he wants to go to university. I'm glad he has stepped up the work. But I hope he will actually get on with his work if he does go to university. I can't imagine him getting out of bed as left to his own devices he sleeps all day. But that is almost 3 years away. Perhaps he will grow up a bit by then.

@icanbewhatiwant it’s so hard isn’t it, I’ve felt so conflicted over the years, both my DS have always been gamers but DS1 never got that into doing it all the time and really only did it when he was bored.

However DS2 is in a group that game together and that’s what used to cause tension as if he left the game it would impact the whole group.
I think the problem that might be happening now is several in his group are now at work, rather than university, so they like to game in the evening and I’ve obviously got no idea how late they game till.
DS2 was a mainly A grade student at GCSE, he moved school for A level and got a bit lost and didn’t do well, he stayed at home for a year and re-sat 2 A levels, but didn’t get his predicted grades and missed out on his 1st choice university, so we’ve always known that a lot was riding on him applying himself at UEA.
In some ways us not being around possibly helps, as he knows he can’t just give up and come home, but it feels like a lot is riding on him not gaming and applying himself properly.
Thankfully he does seem to really like UEA and his flatmates and knows that the biology modules he doesn’t like he can drop next year.
I just feel like I live with my fingers crossed all the time

@Itscoldouthere perhaps it will be better when he moves into a house. At least if he's with other gamers they might all play together on a big screen, then stop at a decent time.
I've already told ds2 that he's not taking an Xbox to university even though it's years away.

@icanbewhatiwant yes maybe, I do think having it in his bedroom is the problem as it’s something we never allowed at home.
I’ve only just realised that they break for Easter in 3 weeks. It’s all going so quickly!

@Itscoldouthere yes not long.

It seems a very short term, don't you think? And the summer one is shorter still?

@icanbewhatiwant so sorry it hasn't worked out with the sister of your current dog. Hopefully, there will be another opportunity to find her a companion soon. How is she/are you coping with your recent loss?

DS hasn't taken his PS4 with him to uni - yet. I am sure it's only a matter of time. There must be some interesting research to do on gaming in young men and educational outcomes...

We have a new pup. I think our other dog was getting used to being on her own after 3 weeks. She's not impressed with a pup! Pup is actually very good and not really going near the other dog. They had several dogs where we got her from (a working gun dog farm) and I think she's probably been warned off before. So they are keeping out of each other's way. We have plenty of room for them to be apart. The older one is spending more time in the living room...pup isn't allowed on the carpet. They'll get used to each other. I sent ds some photos, he didn't reply. I think he is probably annoyed we have a pup and he's not home. He will be home soon. As @NewModelArmyMayhem18 just said, it's a very short term.

That's lovely to hear @icanbewhatiwant. Enjoy, as they don't say little for long do they? Our 'kittens' are 19 months old now and have forgotten many of their very cute little one ways. They seem to be beyond being teenagers too!

A puppy!!! How exciting

@icanbewhatiwant oh how lovely a puppy, lots of work, but so much fun, I’m sure given time your other dog will come to love it too.
It will be lovely for your DS when he comes home at Easter.

Anyone else's DC doing geog/env science and feeling the pressure? DD is on top of it I think but seems quite stressed, it seems there are lots of deadlines in the coming week and she's anxious about getting everything done in time. We spoke via FT last night and she's been working solidly all through last week and the weekend with very little down time. She also says she's got to catch up on the online versions of the lectures that are cancelled due to strike action, basically teach yourself via PowerPoint it seems!

@juicy0 I've heard next to nothing from DS since he was home for reading week. I'm assuming he's on top of things but have just messaged him to check.

My DS was unwell last week so missed some lectures and also had to catch up on some due to strikes.
He said he was going to go the the library at the weekend, I just hope he did, I feel he’s definately feeling the pressure.

DS never seems to feel the pressure but that could explain his less than stellar exam results to date

Roll on Easter! I'm looking forward to having DD home for a few days before they head off on their field trip.

Assuming they're not home beforehand because of the spread of coronavirus, @juicy0.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 do you think that's likely? I'm more concerned about them going back afterwards as many of them will have plans to go away over Easter.

I'm not sure but I think DS would be safer there than he would be at home TBQH. I guess it depends what happens with the number of confirmed cases over the coming days/weeks.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18
Having not been that worried about Coronavirus, I’m now slightly concerned about it really escalating and having problems getting back to the UK, I’ve got a flight booked for 9th March.
There is still little talk of it here in Canada but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before it becomes more newsworthy.
I’m not sure where will be best for my DC, our home is in a small village, but maybe they are better off at university as it doesn’t seem to be effecting young people as much, but I really don’t know.

Hi @Itscoldouthere, hopefully you will get back by the 9th (that's only a week away?). There may be more of an issue with you leaving the UK to get back to Canada though (depending what happens with the spread of coronavirus over the coming weeks).

I would imagine if you are in a small village, inhabitants should be relatively safe (unless they're commuting into large cities for work every day), but who knows? It really seems to be pot luck as to where it strikes.

The picture currently doesn't look too alarming in the UK but that could change very quickly.

Yes I have a good friend in management in a large NHS hospital who also said it may be more of an issue leaving the UK to come back to Canada.
That’s also quite alarming as we are due to be homeless in UK by 16 April. I will just have to wait and see what happens and make/change plans accordingly, but life was already quite complicated without the added possibility of Coronavirus being thrown into the mix!

I had forgotten how much hard work a puppy is. Nighttime is the worst. We are taking it in turns sleeping downstairs with her! I've not had a pup that howls the house down at night!
I sent some photos to ds. He read the messages and completely ignored them. I think he's annoyed we have a pup and he's not home. But life can't stop because he's not here. After several texts the final one asked him if he's ok as he's not replied to any messages, I told him I was worried. He sent one back "yes fine"
DH messaged him about something else yesterday. He replied. Then he sent photos of the meal he'd cooked for his gf. Told DH some lectures had been cancelled. Then Dh told him he was tired because the pup is keeping him awake at night and then the conversation stopped, ds wouldn't reply to DH either. Never mind. I know he's ok. He'll get over it. I'll just wait for the text in a couple of weeks asking me to collect him from UEA. I might reply with "no get the train" I wouldn't really say that. Tempting though it is!

@icanbewhatiwant puppies are so lovely but lots of work, I especially remember the bitey stage, one of my friends dog was crazy, biting every thing and everyone, we were all a bit scared of him, thankfully it’s only a passing stage.
I’m sure you DS will fall in love when he comes home at Easter.
Must say, I’m so looking forward to coming home and seeing my boys, I’ve been missing the familiar and so many things seem to be so complicated here. I’m feeling empathy for the students having just gone through the process of finding an apartment to rent. I’ve never lived in an apartment block before and haven’t rented for the last 25 years so it’s all a new and confusing to us !

I think boys quite often act as if they don't care but really they do, particularly where pets are concerned. As soon as DS walks through the door he says hello to the cats in a very special voice (reserved just for them). I think before he started at uni he said it was a pity he couldn't take one of them with him!!!

Wow, the puppy does sound like hard work but I'm sure she's worth it. You and your DH must be exhausted though - just like having a newborn again!

Could we have a picture, please?

Itscoldouthere, how many weeks until you're back? I can understand you missing the familiar. I sometimes think 'culture shock and acclimatisation) can be more difficult in (generally) English speaking countries (I know you're on the French side of Canada though) than if you were in one where you had to speak a different language too. How are you finding it with all the French speakers? I am sure your boys will be looking forward to being able to visit you in Canada though - do they seem likely to stay in the UK, once they graduate?

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 I’m back in UK next week, we lined it up with my husband going to a week long conference in the USA but it’s now starting to look like it will be cancelled, so he’s going to be camping out in our apartment for several weeks before he comes back for Easter.
I love elements of the French, but it just makes so many things more difficult. Moving into a modern apartment block is so different, we were given 12 pages of rules (all in French) no instructions for anything, and of course it’s all electric, skirting level heating and air con for summer, I’ve no idea how to use the controllers, so lots of internet searching needed.
Even getting added to the intercom system seems to involve about 4 people, we don’t have a handset in the apartment but have to give them mobile phone numbers, so our phones will ring if someone’s at the door.
Some things seem advanced, others antiquated, to pay our rent we have to give them 12 post dated cheques I can’t remember when I last wrote a cheque in the uk!
Still I think it’s good to be kicked out of your comfort zone, especially when you are post 50 like me.
The boys are really keen to come to Canada, which is good as it’s likely we won’t have anywhere for them to go in the UK this summer.
I’m looking forward to coming back as I’ve got so much to do with the house and it’s been weighing heavily on me, I think I’ve been overthinking as I’ve got too much time here, it’s a bit lonely at the moment, so I’ll be glad to at least see some of my friends when I get back and then will get DS from UEA on 22nd then the other DS on 28th.