Are they many of you that have persuaded your dc to go to local universities and stay living at home

[EleanorReally]

i am sure i heard this was a thing now, due to expense.

At uni we always had someone or other who lived at home sleeping in our living room, I always felt sorry for them not experiencing living on campus or in the local vicinity. I'd encourage mine to get away, the experience outweighs the financial cost imho

It is a thing where I live. It’s an area where in the past very few have gone onto university, incomes are low and people tend to not move away.

For some children going to a local university is the only realistic option for them.

not everyone is a social butterfly or wants that experience

Yes, we’re high earners and I think dd would have got something like 5.5k. Which wouldn’t cover the rent for the year at a lot of places. So we would have had to have found a significant amount of money....maybe 6k a year if she had left home. She’s doing a 7 year degree on a course where part time working may not be very feasible. She does currently have a part time job and her personal tutor has already expressed concerns that she’s working.

When I stayed at home, I still had friends sleeping on my bedroom floor every weekend! Even ones who were living with their parents would end up back at our house because it was so central and they loved my parents.
In fact I lost count of the number of times, I'd come home from my part-time job and find one of my friends sitting in the living room talking to DF or DM
I got a full grant, worked part-time, stayed at home and went to a RG uni. I still had to buy books second-hand and couldn't afford to go to any of the balls, etc. So although I agree that the social experience of moving out to go to uni, is probably positive; financially, it just isn't an option for some people.

To be fair, even the choice between Oxford or Cambridge can be driven by accessibility and proximity. My school is located 30 miles from Cambridge and about 50 from Oxford. Both are accessible by bus, neither by train but nearly all students who are bright enough apply to Cambridge because it appears more familiar and local.

When I applied to uni , I went for Oxford. Both were very far away, but Oxford was easier to get to and seemed less remote.

DD is really tempted by a course at our local University. She really wants to go elsewhere to get to know a different city but if none match up coursewise then she will go local.

However she will go into student accommodation and not live at home. So we can all pretend that she is away!

My son's subject is not available locally anyway, but for his friends studying more mainstream subjects, the local choice would be one of the most difficult to get into or an ex-poly, which whilst perfectly good, asks for grades significantly below their results and they want to go to places that are highly ranked for their subject.
Except for a couple who have gone to the other 'top' university and one to Durham, they have all gone to 'proper' cities e.g. London, Manchester, Birmingham, because in his words ours is 'dead'.

I did try. DD1 applied for Veterinary and was offered RVC which would have been ideal but also got offered 3 outside London and went for the one she felt most comfortable at. I did grit my teeth tbh but it was her decision.

DD2 only got one offer and that was outside London so took it (she only applied for one London place anyway).

Partly because of this I am having to earn extra money (see the £10 a day thread) as they only get the minimum loan. We are a two parent family with quite good jobs but it is still a struggle overall and costs us about £800 a month to top them up overall. They both work too.

I have a mix. DS1 did and hopefully DS3 next year will go to a uni within a 2 hour journey. I actively encouraged them to move away as I don’t think they’d get the proper uni experience if they lived at home. DS1 now has a graduate job in a different city, 3 hours away and is loving it so far. He gained a good degree, but just as importantly, independence and experience in budgeting, paying utility bills, catering for himself, dealing with landlords etc giving him the confidence to apply for jobs anywhere in the country.

DS2 has ASD and is much less independent and needed a safe, familiar place to come home to each night. He hasn’t got involved in any social activities but this is fine as he doesn’t want to. In some ways it might have been better for his life skills to have moved away, but he just isn’t ready. He’s doing an HND at our local university.

We have the ‘advantage’ that since my divorce we’re a single parent family on a low income so they all receive the full loan. It’s still not enough to consider either London or other expensive universities so they have restricted themselves to midland or northern towns with cheap accommodation. No en-suite rooms etc.

Dd's just gone. Not the furthest flung one she could have chosen but some distance.

A number of her friends have opted for local ones and are living at home. What she found was that in year 12, most were saying "no chance" to local ones, but when it came to it a number opted to put one local one down, and a fairly high proportion chose that in the end, at least partially down to living at home. I don't know if that was due to parent pressure or when they looked at finance, or reluctance to move out when it came to it.

When I went I can't remember anyone who was choosing to live at home. Although to be quite fair the local one was not good.

It also depends on having local universities. Where we live, I can think of 5 which are within 90 minutes and one of those is an art college. I also don't think you'd be applying both to Anglia Ruskin and Cambridge, but I'm thinking it could make for an interesting ucas form.

DD goes to the most local uni that does her course. It's just over an hour away from home, so she could stay at home and commute if she wanted to but she's living there in a shared house. It's a cheaper uni than a lot of places, so actually it's not too bad cost wise, I think she'd spend as much on commuting costs as she does on rent.

Her being close to home does mean that when she had mental health issues I could go and see her of an evening after work, or she could come home for a few days without it becoming a huge logistical problem to sort out. And when she decided to come home properly (she dropped out on health grounds and has just restarted first year again), she could still see her friends from uni on a regular basis.

I don’t know any kids living at home.

I have disuaded my kids from looking at local universities. I want them to experience the independence of being away from home and as we live in London in all likelihood they’ll come back home after uni and I think they should experience other cities.

We have 2 unis within commuting distance by public transport within 40 mins..
And 2 that would take over an hour to get to.

The closest were so far down the ranking lists that she discounted them. She visited the 2 others and one was her insurance but she wanted a uni ranked as high as possible for her subject.

So she's just loved into digs and I hope she has a blast. I stayed at home as that was the only option ever offered. The chance to go away to uni was never discussed. And I do feel I missed out in some respects so the choice was left entirely to dd.

I think Scotland is different because they start University at 17. A year at that age can make a big difference.

I stayed at home and so did DH. Both lucky to go to unis in our respective home cities (by choice of course not just to stay at home). I was in dorms for a postgrad and it was not great - noisy, oh the dramas, stinky cooking and dirty baths.

My dd has just started at our local uni but we've encouraged her to live in halls for at least the first year. She struggles with anxiety and very much relies on me for emotional support and so far it's working really well.
She's had a blast during freshers week, made loads of friends and is enjoying her independence. The fact that she knows I'm so close by has made the world of difference to her.
She's popped home twice and on both occasions brought homesick friends with her, apparently they all felt much better for seeing someone else's mum and being fussed over for a few hours! I've told them they are all welcome anytime but I draw the line at doing their washing!!!

My daughter has applied for next year but wouldn’t even consider looking at our local uni.

the experience outweighs the financial cost

At the uni's we've been looking at, the accommodation has been circa £150 per week on campus plus foods costs. We've a neighbour who's daughter is doing a house share in year 2 and paying £200 per student per week. Prices are becoming extortionate. That's a hell of a lot of money for an "experience".

I'm sure I read somewhere that Glasgow university doesn't allocate accommodation to anyone living within a 20 mile radius.

I stayed with my parents the first year - London - and there was a lot of judgement among fellow students

The "experience" just seemed like shit halls and shit pubs

I got work, saved money, then In my second year, I moved into a and saw olds once a week or fortnight. It was a nice flatshare, easy walk to decent bars etc. Still not sure what "experience" people are excited about but then again I was raised to adult and do cooking and cleaning and so on.

My mum did tell me later that she didn't really sleep on the nights I came home at dawn. But I'm still glad I never dealt with halls! 😂

I encouraged my DD's to go and spread their wings. We live in a very prestigious university town but neither were remotely interested in going there. DD1 went 80 miles away and DD2 went 350 miles away. Being away from home was the making of them .

Oops. Posted too soon. DD didn't want to go to our local university as she wanted to go somewhere new. Also, the commute would mean getting up too early if she lived at home

A few students from DD's school went there, and all but one stayed in halls. The one that stayed at home didn't make any friends, but having said that he is a very quiet introvert, and living in halls might not have suited him anyway.

We live in a quiet backwater and DD was hankering after city life, so now she is in Newcastle (and enjoying herself I think).

I also don't think you'd be applying both to Anglia Ruskin and Cambridge,

Except for Medicine, perhaps? But that is based at ARU in Chelmsford, I suppose.

I think schools have to take some responsibility in not encouraging mad, far-flung choices. Train fares and petrol costs can be prohibitive these days.

I'd like to think that schools would carry on advising students to aspire to finding the 'next step' - be it full time employment, apprenticeship or university - that is right for them on as many levels as possible.

DD has just gone off to the University of Birmingham, just ove 160 miles from home. Her older brother graduated from there in 2018 and has stayed in the local area. DS2 will be leaving school in 2021 - he currently wants to study History of Art. The nearest places to do this, are the Courtauld, Cambridge, Kent and UEA, in that order (I think - the Courtauld is under 40 miles, UEA, 100). His current dream university is UEA, but he may give Cambridge a go if he likes the look of the course. Absolutely zero pressure from us to do anything in particular and his grammar school is heavily supportive of apprenticeships, so unlikely to be too much from there, except to make sure that he makes the best decision for him.