Are they many of you that have persuaded your dc to go to local universities and stay living at home

[EleanorReally]

i am sure i heard this was a thing now, due to expense.

however in my case we on the lower income threshold thus my dc get full maintenance.
if you are higher earners it must be very difficult, you cant magic up money if you dont have it

I think you miss out a lot living at home through uni. I remember a few people doing it and they didn't really get involved, had to get the last train/bus if they did, missed out on bonding through watching films in each other's rooms, drinking tea together after a night out etc.

By all means encourage them to stay local if you want but they should definitely definitely move out.

I have just been through my school's destination stats for the last three years. I expected more would have gone to the local uni (it's not very good, but I thought the lower end of sixth form would seek it out). In fact, only 5 across three years had stayed local. Another 5-10 had gone to two other unis within 30 miles.

Most, however, across the entire ability range , have missed out London altogether (which must be expense) and have chosen unis within a 2 hour journey.

I grew up in Scotland. My sister went to Glasgow (local uni) but did move out of home. Most of my friends went to Glasgow, Edinburgh, Strathclyde. Very few even ventured to Aberdeen or Stirling (or England, where I went!). No one went to St Andrew's. that was for English people! There is just a different attitude to university in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

I grew up in London, went Uni in London (Russell Group though, so not compromising on the course / institution in any way to do so) and only lived "out" (in hall) for the first year - came home for years 2 and 3. I had a very active social life with friends at home but looking back, hugely regret that I didn't experience independence in another part of the country. My uni experience was a shadow of that had by friends.
If you just need the qualification and perhaps have home commitments caring for parents or children then studying at home is a means to an end - but going away at 18 is SO much more than an education in your subject alone.

We'd love DS1 to feel comfortable to move out but at the moment that would mean more isolation not less as he would sit in his room and not interact with anyone. At least at home we make him have meals with us and watch tv etc just to get him out his room. We are hopeful he'll make the move at some point. DS2 moving out has already had an affect on him wanting to get support and engaging more in order to change his status quo.

I think uni is much more than just studying it's the chance to be independent, have wild nights out , getting back to the halls together and cooking late night pizzas , exploring a new city. I really don't think coming home after lectures would help with being fully integrated into student life. My DD has just left our market town for a uni in a big city 100 miles away , she is absolutely loving it.

I stayed at home despite getting into top UK universities. For me it was a combination of poor physical and mental health, low self esteem and at the time the family was close to bankruptcy due to the breadwinner losing a brilliant job in late 50s as I was taking A-Levels.

Pluses were that by staying home I got a fantastic job which paid as if it was fulltime meaning I had no student debt and was able to save for an MA.

Minuses. I didn't go to one university party. By living out of halls no one knew I existed. I was very out of the loop. Didn't have a boyfriend the entire time I was at uni. Just no student experience at all. I'd just go into lectures and leave. At the time the societies I was into were small or non existent. Obviously I really regretted it. It was much harder to become independent and I really struggler moving away from home at 22 which sounds ridiculous. It certainly had a negative effect on my confidence and I've stayed close to home ever since which has damaged my career and other prospects.

I also commuted for my MA but so did others and I had a fantastic social life with my course mates, did the whole partying, drunken nights, fell in love with a course mate and really had the full student experience. I had friend's who would let me crash on their sofas etc.

It really depends on the institution, some commuter unis and courses are socially dead. Others are fantastic for residents and commuters alike.

If I'm ever blessed with children I'd hope they'd go to the best uni for them and hope that it was away from home for their own independence and experience.

I think unless there is mental health issues etc, then parents shouldn't be trying to persuade kids to do anything, they student should pick the uni best for them, the debt is not the parents, it's the kids and is more like a tax to be fair.

The kids at my daughters uni who were local did miss out on a lot of the jnteraction and the benefit of gaining independence with over sight, and picked the uni not because it was the best for them, but because it was local.

But who pays the rent?

I'd rather my DS didn't go to university at all unless he needs a degree for his chosen career.

If he does go, i would rather he lived there and gained the independent living and social experience that comes with it. The local university doesn't have a broad offer but our city has good rail and motorway links so I'd be encouraging a university easily accessible by train, ideally within a 2ish hour radius.

I'm in Scotland and I'd say it's always been a 'thing' to stay at home if you can't afford to move out. Even with full maintenance grants, it's difficult for lower income families to support DCs living away from home.

Lots near me stay because its local or commute to the one an hour away.

In Australia its completely normal to stay home, and they do fine! Its tricky here with the huge differences in prestige of courses etc.

We might well gently suggest local to our high achieving child for cost reasons if there's an appropiate course. I wish they still had bursaries.

DS1 would have suffered socially if he stayed at home, but a neighbours DS already had a good social life and is decent at football so had an easier access to the teams social life. He is living at home but has access to lots of dorm floors of his friends. My Scottish nephews didn’t get into their local university, one waited a year and one never went at all rather than look elsewhere.

Of you earn more than £34k as a household then the maximum loan in Scotland is £4750. Parental support is required and it takes no account of having multiple DC at uni at the same time.

I live near three universities: the amount of new student accommodation going up is staggering. So someone must be paying for it all.

My DC are still small. If they choose to go to a local university and live at home, I would encourage them to try a year abroad as part of the exchange schemes. Nothing makes you grow up faster than living in a different culture!

I understand re the expense but when the time comes I will be persuading mine to go away.

Going away is such a massive part of the experience that I don't want them to miss out.

Been saving since they were born.

It’s also completely normal to live at home in Ireland if you live in a university city. In fact those who don’t, often find it harder if they can’t easily go home at weekends, because the local students often still socialise with their school friends.

A lot of uni students now commute to London universities from where I live which I think is great as they will be more prepared for the commute when older

DD1 wouldn't even look at the local uni's. Part of her criteria was that she wanted to be a minimum 2 hours away from home, she very independent. We are very central England so she had a lot of choice and I didnt try and persuade her in any way except to put my foot down about Edinburgh which would be over 5 hours on a train.

She chose one a 3 hours drive away, and when I had to rush to her when she was bed ridden, very ill with flu she did comment that I was right about Edinburgh.

My son also goes to a local uni and stays at home. He didn't need any convincing though

My son is currently looking at unis no more than 90 mins away so he has the option to live away or drive in. Have met so many students on open days no longer at their original uni as they hated being so far away from home once the novelty had worn off, had to leave and start over the following year elsewhere.
We are lucky though to be situated in an area with good local unis and fab motorway/ train links within easy reach.
Cost not a huge motivating factor just the option of a plan b if living away doesn't work out.

I think it is a confidence thing too, my ds wouldn't even think of going away, i think the idea would fill him with anxiety just the thought of it. and my son goes to a london uni where the industry mainly is, so will be good for placements etc and actual work. I went to the local uni as a mature student but for me it was just about gaining a qualification i didn't need the social life side of it. and perhaps ds feels the same as ultimately it's about work for most people isn't it?

I have 2 studying and living at home...I didn’t persuade them...

But we’re in Scotland and have a high enough income that they only get the basic loan, but not high enough that we could realistically give them both cash.

And we’re just outside Edinburgh so there are only a few unis that it isn’t cheaper to commute to than move to anyway.

We had a struggle to persuade ds to even look at our local university as he wanted to live in a new town. But he went to open day and loved it, and starts this term. The difference is that our local university is Cambridge. We wouldn’t have done it for a less topflight university.

He is expected to live in college even if he wanted to live at home (which he doesn’t ) and I doubt we will see him in term time anymore that if he lived 3 hours away. But it will make end of terms much simpler for us dropping off/collecting luggage.

on mn everyone's child goes to a top university and wouldn't contemplate anything else, whereas the real world is quite different.