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Original poster

The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

999 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 26/09/2019 12:16

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

OP posts:
Shimy · 27/09/2019 18:22

Simbobs, Alicat, MrKlaw, good to know i'm not alone. Main worry about DS is he tends to skip meals and not eat regularly and sit in his room gaming for hours, so would like to know he is cooking (he can cook simple meals) and getting out and about a bit more.
So long as they're happy and healthy and enjoying their courses that's all that matters, plus the odd call Wink. Here's hoping we hear something this weekend.

Jux I'm surprised at the fridge in your DD's room. Lucky her! it wouldn't be allowed in DS's halls. We bought an electric air dryer but at the last minute, had to double up with a normal one just in case he wasn't allowed it, we'd had murmurings of irons and kettles not allowed.

Dunlurking · 27/09/2019 18:34

Oh I'm glad it's not just Halifax college tomorrow then. Good luck @FrameyMcFrame and @DrMadelineMaxwell, and I think @JennyWreny as well(?) for the York move in, and all your dcs for other unis this weekend.

Dd's got a freshers band for the college. I know she's going a Viking pub crawl . . . is that the Viking Raid? Not sure about the bundle thing.

She's holed up in the bathroom enjoying one last leisurely bath.

sergeantmajormum · 27/09/2019 18:34

It is very hard when communication is limited isn’t it? I really don’t want to seem to be nagging and I am hoping that limited news (we have heard from DD most days but very short texts not very informative!) means she’s happy! DH and I are genuinely interested in what she’s up to, social and academic, and for us anxious mums it’s hard not to fill the information vacuum with all sorts of what ifs. So exciting for them, but still a sense of loss for us. I guess we will get used to it.

notaflyingmonkey · 27/09/2019 18:54

I don't think DS's time at uni has improved. He stays in his room to avoid having to make small talk with flatmates, which means he isn't eating properly. He says he is coming home for the weekend either tonight or tomorrow, so I need to tread carefully with him.

simbobs · 27/09/2019 18:56

This is their space now and we are not really involved in it, are we? That's how the DC want it in the main. We only hear about the bits they want to share. When I get a text from my DS it is certainly because he has nothing much else to do, though he has contacted me to describe meals that he has prepared and of which he is proud.

icanbewhatiwant · 27/09/2019 19:00

@sergeantmajormum yes I am interested to know what ds is up to. But he just replies with one word answers, that's if he bothers to reply at all. He did text tonight to ask if he can fry asparagus. But I'm getting no information as to whether he's happy, what he's doing, whether he's made friends, going to lectures etc. I'm finding it very frustrating. I just have to hope everything is going well. I don't want to keep asking questions when it's quite clear he doesn't want to reply.

Benjispruce · 27/09/2019 19:04

I’m genuinely surprised at how many non socialising students there are. I mentioned to DD that some might not want to go to Freshers events and she was perplexed. Still no specific slots then Tilly so I guess anytime between 9.30 and 4.30?

Benjispruce · 27/09/2019 19:06

Can he fry asparagus that’s hilarious! What a foodie!

sergeantmajormum · 27/09/2019 19:07

@ican so agree! I have so much I want to ask her but if I text more than 1 question in response to her texts, it seems to switch off the convo, so I am treading carefully and sitting on my hands. On the upside she seems to be having a great time, making friends and we’ve not had anything negative yet so I’m grateful compared to the difficult times some DC are having. I think they are having so many new and exciting experiences and yet for us, apart from their departure, nothing has changed. Getting used to an empty nest is a challenge tho Friday night wine is helping!

Benjispruce · 27/09/2019 19:08

DD just needs to go now. So much waiting around. I just want to see her room, make her bed and let her settle and come home and make a new routine with just the 3 of us. It’s been so much in the making, just needs to happen now.

justasking111 · 27/09/2019 19:08

DS senior phoned his bro. at lunch time. Was told can I call you back am in a restaurant having lunch. WHAT!! said big bro. you should be on 39p noodles Grin

Our youngest is quite shy so am glad he is socialising. He did not want to take his x box which surprised me, though I was glad.

icanbewhatiwant · 27/09/2019 19:14

@Benjispruce I think ds is seeing different foods and thinking he will have a go at cooking them. The novelty will wear off soon.

simbobs · 27/09/2019 19:22

I was the same Benji. When DD left 2 yrs ago DH took her and I never did get to see her room which really upset me. I did insist on putting duvet and pillows in cases as my contribution. DH would never have thought of making her bed, just said goodbye and left her to it. When she started 2nd yr I took her and made up for it. I took DS last week and helped him sort out his stuff before leaving.

Benjispruce · 27/09/2019 19:58

ican i didn’t mean to sound mocking in any way, it just amused me to think of a student buying asparagus. Fabulous really as I grew up with an idea of student living being like The Young Ones!
Tilly DD was contacted today to ask what time she was playing on arriving.

Piggywaspushed · 27/09/2019 20:01

No can I fry asparagus from DS (I'd fall off the sofa in shock!) , but as a follow up to his legendary what is a frying pan? text, he texted today to tell me he is now an expert at a bacon sandwich...

icanbewhatiwant · 27/09/2019 20:05

@Benjispruce no I know. It made me laugh too. He did send a photo of his dinner. No asparagus as he decided not to buy it. He had got courgette though 😂 As he was on WhatsApp showing me the pic I asked what he'd been doing and whether he was going out tonight. He read the message, but no reply 😩

Ingles2 · 27/09/2019 20:06

as expected I've had endless messages from DS1 today... all going well and he is most thrilled with "incredible" wifi speeds... we are in a very rural farmhouse and have just about got dial up! :D
he also has all his special lego on eBay, so he will need me to pack it top and ship it out... guaranteed contact ..
I have just finished a toga, and a caveman fake fur number for ds2, he seems happy enough with them... we'll leave at 5am on Sunday for Durham, should get here at lunchtime and we're staying overnight. got to admit, I'm exhausted! am looking forward to the peace and quiet next week

LillianGish · 27/09/2019 20:12

I think there was some very good advice on here a few pages/threads back which said they often call up to offload a problem or stress so in many ways no news is good news. I’ve definitely found that with DD this week - she’s called when she had a problem with the bank/her launderette card//did I think she might have a hangover and what should she do about it. I start feeling a bit anxious and as if I might need to order a backpack, send a tentative text to check she’s OK only to be told she’s far to busy enjoying herself to reply. My favourite post on here recently was the axe throwing one. Every time I think about it it makes me LOL.

nokidshere · 27/09/2019 20:32

Well my foodie ds texted me tonight to ask how long should he cook his steak for and could he cook his asparagus in the same pan Grin

Chillywhippet · 27/09/2019 20:37

piggy brilliant to have bacon sandwich skills Grin

DD3 has been on work experience and has learned to enjoy drinking tea. Another useful skill.

Witchend · 27/09/2019 20:38

Dd's decided to ask my advice on the fancy dress outfits. Apparently there's one a night through Freshers Week (or the first four days anyway) so I've told her how to make normal outfits fit with the themes and she's very happy with that. We've just popped a couple of extras in to put over the top of what she could wear anyway.
I'm glad she's taken something anyway.

bigTillyMint · 27/09/2019 20:44

@Benjispruce, we are going to drop 9.30/10 I think as it's a long drive back. DS didn't mention anyone rang... He has only just finished packing up (needing me throughout Hmm) and gone out with his mates.

@Ingles2 you sound so well organised - caveman outfit? I haven't done much until after work today - been manicGrin

bigTillyMint · 27/09/2019 20:47

@LillianGish I think it was me repeating what DD sagely said one time I was askibg her to check on friends DS as he had been very down on the phone to my friend. It was good that she recognised that's what she did too WinkSmile

Ingles2 · 27/09/2019 20:52

not me @bigTillymint .... ds2 ordered the fun fur himself, I just had to machine it into a tabard :D sophisticated it isnt! Ds2 is unbelievably practical and organised, it really is impressive... Ds1 on the other hand, not a clue! Grin

WheelDecide · 27/09/2019 20:56

@Bouledeneige. Was that a fresher's deal at Domino's and does anyone know if it's only Manchester?