The ABC of university life (2019/20 cohort) - settling in we hope

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread - sorry about the lame thread title but done in a hurry!

[stucknoue]

Dd has been out every night, I can safely say she's enjoying freshers. She's also hitting the gym daily so not all booze

[Jano69]

Can't believe some are already arranging accommodation for next year - impressive.

Just seen the weather for Durham - heavy rain forecast on Sunday. That won't make unpacking fun!

I guess it's a reality check that living in the NE will be much wetter and colder than DS is used to in London.

[ZandathePanda]

Ginfordinner I really wanted Dd to do axe throwing! Actually I possibly wanted to do it more than her....

[ZandathePanda]

Jano Dd is in the NE. Still no big coat. But she has admitted her pathetic Primark festival mac is not up to scratch. I secretly give it another couple of weeks for a coat purchase and a rucksack.

[Citygirl2019]

NewModelArmyMayhem18 Under GDPR details of any DC results and uni destinations should not be shred with other parents. Unless no names were included.

[Mustbetimeforachange]

I'm not sure arranging accommodation at this stage is a good idea. DD changed her friendship group completely by Christmas having been talking about house shares in the first few weeks. DS1 changed his group from flatmates/nearby flatmates to course mates once lectures started. Neither of them are friends with the people they hung out with at freshers.

[Witchend]

Jano, dd feels the cold. She's wondering whether to take snow boots 😁
She currently has several blankets, a fleece onsie, a warm coat and a number of hit water bottles.

[berlinbabylon]

Under GDPR details of any DC results and uni destinations should not be shred with other parents. Unless no names were included

Not true, if you look at the ICO guidance on this (in relation to results at least). You don't need parental consent.

[Shimy]

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 that’s completely out of order! How and why did they do this?

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

I'm less miffed that they share them that it was only with the 'elite'. Their school magazine, published later on this term, does detail who went where (but not their A Level grades).

[bigTillyMint]

No results shared at DSs school, other than the stuff on the website with the exam results pictures!

@Benjispruce, I am sure I read somewhere that the first meal available at Collingwood on Sunday would be dinner, but can't remember where I read that! Thinking we might go for a big breakfast before we move him in...

[Witchend]

What annoyed me though was that they and their parents were apparently privy (along with all other attendees) to all their cohort's A Level results and university destinations (which the others haven't been!)
If it's anything like as accurate as the one that the school put out when I was 6th form then it won't tell a lot. "Oxford University, Brookes College" was one of the more accurate "accidental" misrepresentations. Nursing became medicine studies, and things like that. Some of my friends were quite upset because it said the school didn't think their destinations were good enough to publicise.

So far this morning I've taken the car for replacement bulbs (spotted brake light out last night) and tyre check (was fine). Was delighted to see a young lady working in Kwik fit-first I've seen in 15 year there. The lads there were falling over themselves to say how wonderful and hard working she was, rather sweet, but they are a nice bunch there, which is why I go to them.

Then I've hung the last wash out. Hopefully it'll dry. Now dd's getting up so we can do the Sainsbury's run.
I can't believe that this time in two days she'll have gone for 11 weeks.

We're having a take away tonight and might play some games if she wants to.

[bigTillyMint]

11? I thought it was 9

[Witchend]

Tilly

I said to the younger pair that she was going for 11 weeks, and they said "phew, that's not long."
So I apparently changed the subject and started talking about being nearly at the end of term, and they got cross and said it was ages away.

I pointed out it was the same length of time. They got even crosser, and said that she'd had too long a holiday. I pointed out they have half term...

[MrsPellegrinoPetrichor]

Found you all, phew!!

[simbobs]

Zanda and for any others with DC in the NE. Get them to find their way to the Barbour factory shop on the outskirts of South Shields (walkable from the Metro) if they want a really decent winter coat.

My DS with his scanty timetable, has a welcome lecture today so that will hopefully give him an idea of how much work he will be expected to do outside contact hours. Mind you, it doesn't help that the wifi at his accommodation has an irreparable fault and will have to be entirely replaced. They are trying to find a temporary solution, but we are not happy. I told him to try and find a comfy place in the library.

[bigTillyMint]

@simbobs thanks, though I can't imagine DS wearing a Barbour. Well maybe he would in Durham, but in SE London

[simbobs]

They have a wide variety of different types, not just the traditional waxed jacket, and also designer collaborations eg with Liberty.

[Shimy]

It seems lots of posters since drop off, are getting great updates from their dc and engaging in exciting, engaging texting, whattsapping and even videos . I am having no such fun here. Since drop off on Saturday, we've spoken once. Most of it me speaking, DS just grunting or completely silent. All questions about new flatmates, cooking, freshers is met with, "yeah, or No" to the extent I don't really know what he's yeahing or Noing too. I've left him to it and decided I'll just wait when he decides to call and share anything.

I'm really jealous of all the lucky posters who are being carried along in the spirit of it all. Is anyone else finding this?

[Mustbetimeforachange]

Me too Shimy. I've had a few responses to WhatsApp messages but haven't managed to speak - I've said "call me if you have time" a couple of times, but he hasn't had time. I don't really mind as I hope it means he's happy but I would love to have a chat & find out what he's been up to. Not that he really communicates very much at home either, but I though it might be a bit different when he was away. The only thing I know is that he has been clubbing & he went into the city to explore. No idea when he starts his lectures or anything, or what he's been filling his days with (sleeping if it's anything like when he is at home).

[ZandathePanda]

simbobs thanks for the tip.

I have had a couple of phone calls and texts since things have gone wrong (shower isn’t working etc). When everything’s going right I don’t hear from her!

[AWanderingMinstrel]

Just checkin' in.

Imperial also a late starter (this weekend) and DS has bought a ticket to the boat trip- fingers crossed they don't get too drunk and fall in the Thames!
Reading this thread has made me realise that freshers is built up in their minds like pivotal events like weddings etc- so many hopes and dreams of how you see it and then things go wrong / go right- its unpredictable. However, hopefully they are resilient enough to look for help if they are struggling- universities seem far more clued up on MH these days- which is for the better.

[Shimy]

@Mustbetimeforachange DS here doesn't communicate much at home either but i though being in a completely new environments he'd have something to say. Apart from the one call where i gathered he'd seen his flatmates, gone out to the SU on his own nothing else. I don't want to suffocate him with phone calls but just thought he would be more engaging. Like you i'd like to know what he's been filling his days with as i know lectures begin in earnest next Monday.

Mind you, DS2 never stops talking and i have to tune him out. So there is a bit of balance there

[simbobs]

Shimy you are not alone. When DD went I didn't speak to her at all, apart from when once I knew she was facetiming DS and I got a word in. She still only gets in touch very rarely and usually only to arrange transport home. DS is more communicative in general but he has sent me a few texts when he is in his room and has nobody to talk to - ghost flatmates - or when he wants something, eg new shoes which I wanted to buy before he left but he prioritised other things. You know your DC best; maybe they are either busy, happy and not needing you, or are having settling in problems that embarrass them and they don't want to feel like a failure. What does you gut instinct tell you?

[simbobs]

@Shimy, your DS sounds like my DD. It's just the way they are.