Our DC are nearly all officially students now (going to university 2019/20) - seizing the moment, spending, socialising, societies and studying!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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[Edited by MNHQ to fix the link]

DD off tomorrow. I keep looking at the stuff we've already packed and getting a lump in my throat. She's excited and ready to go as most of her friends left last weekend. I think my DD2 will find it strange not having her around.

Todays the day. We are off at 12. I cannot stop crying and sneaking into his room to watch him snore. Really struggling, but will put on my happy face when he eventually wakes up.

DD didn't want to go to school today - she's been talking about it all week. I suspect she wanted to spend the day with DS.

@minesawine .. we are off tomorrow early.
I'm having a cry too ... sending a hug 🤗

So, I got my first homesick missive from DS. He emailed me yesterday after attempting to phone me 5 times.

He is lonely, inept and feels like a ' 5 year old kid'. He won't try anything like cooking bacon, or the washing machine, in case anyone sees him. He doesn't know where anything is. He seems reasonably determined to attempt to cook bacon as he went and bought oil. He is very worked up about washing his t shirts. He had a GAD when he was younger (and an eating disorder) and he still is very anxious so I hope he doesn't get worse. I have discovered nearly all the first year male students are in the cheapest on campus accommodation. We did put this down as a choice but got allocated a nicer place but, in hindsight, he might have been better in the shithole. Food for thought.

He has been texting his friend who is off to a different uni soon. I know this because his mum texted me.

It is very frustrating that I can't just pop up the road and show him how to switch the machine on!

Lectures begin next week and I have sent him step by step instructions on hoe to make pasta (yes, including what a saucepan is and what a colander is!!)

I also probably shouldn't have engaged myself in the latest ' if your child isn't at a RG uni they are thick as pigshit and have no future' thread. on which there is a fellow teacher who is inflaming my anger with her sneering. Shimy innocently wandered on the thread, too! We know what happens when Shimy arrives backpack wars !

I was very wobbly earlier this week. Now she's gone, and sent us a few photos where she looks as though she's having a ball, I'm fine. Dh is really missing her though!

10 days to go - she’s looking forward to it as am I

Omg missed the back pack thread so have just read it,WTAF?!

Despite the fact I bought absolutely everything for ds,and I mean everything as he wasn't involved at all he's doing really well by the sounds of things. FFS!!

Hugs for people who are having wobbles and piggy that sounds really tough,I hope your ds manages to find a way that works for him. It's such a big thing moving away.

When you think about it, it is a massive deal going off to university. So many life stressors rolled into one.

I hope your DS manages to find a way through all the challenges he's facing @Piggywaspushed. At least he is being upfront and honest about them and asking for help.

@Piggywaspushed Sorry your DS is finding it hard - but at least he’s sharing it with you. He’s certainly not alone - it took multiple WhatsApp messages before my DS felt confident enough to seek out the washing machines, and then they were all full, and long phone calls about how to make the hob work - I was glad he felt he could ask for help, but he’s miles away so I can’t be much practical use! I think it’s more worrying if they don’t ask?

My DS seems more purposeful now the course itself has started; hope it’s the same for yours.

And that thread on Unis is quite something; I do know some employers sift but having had one DC graduate from a top Uni but still working out a direction so doing a non-graduate job atm, I can see that friends DC from less well ranked Unis are much better placed in the jobs market. I’m just glad they’ve got a few years to grow up before facing the economy ....

@ZandathePanda I have just emailed Park View and they messaged back within minutes. The hobs are standard electric hobs not induction hobs (phew)

Piggywaspushed I lurked on that thread and thought that your contribution was very helpful and measured. And why is law always held up as the example subject? Not everyone wants to be a lawyer.

@Decorhate my sons Uni has already organised first intro sessions for the whole year or, I think, they would be sitting in their rooms twiddling their fingers and getting anxious.
He had first session, not compulsory but I think most were there, on Sunday after they checked in a day before. Since then I think they had something at Uni every other day.

some employers may, but most don't @Gettingthroughtheweek and that is how I advise people, to work at their skills and stop worrying that the Uni they attend will prevent them from gaining employment, what may is if they don't get 2:1 predicted for work placements, my dd's friend has first predicted and her work placement wasn't that great, my dd learned a lot and made good friends too.

@Piggywaspushed the whose RG Uni list is only a marketing tool! My DD is in Loughborough, highly respected Uni by employers, did her year in industry placement at a very respectable company in London (they offered her job on return) and as her replacement helped to recruit someone from University of West of England. Nobody gave any thought to where students for year placement applied for. What counted was well written CV, covering letter, passion, fit for the team and ability to spell well (she did a lot of content writing and needed replacemnt at least as good as she was). Don't get swayed by oppinion of those who mostly never worked in industry!

Haven't read the Uni thread. Dd is at Swansea and I've had people in RL literally wrinkling their nose when I've told them where she is! Its ranked 12th for her course, the campus is amazing and everyone is incredibly, noticeably friendly. So RG or not, its a win for me!

piggy i cant find your ppst about your ds but I'm sorry that he's struggling. Its still such early days. Have his lectures started?

The backpack thread is becoming legendary. I happened upon it being mentioned on a completely random non-education thread. I think if trolls start extrapolating some sort of parental existential crisis from a perfectly normal question, it should be said they are ‘backpacking’.

Bath, Lancaster and Loughborough are all in the top 10 in the Complete University Guide. Only Russell Group snobs think they are lesser universities. To be honest, unless a student is studying a science, research heavy subject I doubt that they care if the university is research heavy anyway.

For vocational subjects that are accredited by professional bodies I think being at an RG university is less important. I suspect that in very popular subjects like law, history, geography, English etc it may be more important where you go.

I read somewhere that the only subject where there is no shortage of teachers is history because many students take history because they don't know what they really want to do. I am happy to be corrected on this though.

Piggy I remember when I first started uni I ended up buying new clothes because I couldn’t face attempting the washing machine for the first couple of weeks! I’m sure he will settle xxx

Those threads are always about banking, management consultancy (wtf even is that) or law - Dd would rather stay a waitress forever than contemplate a life of corporate offices (I agree with her!).

Oops. Posted on the wrong thread

The backpack thread was the most nuts thing that I have ever read on here.

Some people unfortunately have a very fixed and arrogant world view - rather like Plato's cave analogy (which DD has just been studying). If they're in the bubble they can't see any value in anything outside of it!

We have a DN who went to a 'new' university which many of the naysayers on that thread would definitely look down their noses at. He came out with a top degree and easily got onto the graduate entry level programme for an multinational company. Oh and on the same scheme as his Durham post-grad educated girlfriend.

I bought loads of cheap pants and socks for ds, enough for 3 weeks so if the washing machine seemed a bit daunting at least he'd be ok. Is there a Primark nearby him,would he feel confident about finding it and buying some new ones to tide him over for a bit?

Ds has an app on his phone tied in with his uni app which means he can see when the machines are empty,maybe your ds has that too?

I'm expecting a call from ds in 3 weeks when his clean pants run out 🙄

Ginfordinner thank you! We did get induction pans just in case. It sounds like the hobs are particularly hard to use and the international students (have already arrived) have come to the wrong conclusion on Facebook chats. We now know there’s 36cm height under the bed which necessitated a quick return trip to Wilkos for 3x £4 plastic storage boxes. Bargain. Also magnets purchased for the noticeboard rather than drawing pins.

Still hasn’t got a ‘big’ coat or rucksack.

@ZandathePanda - love the idea of calling it backpacking :D works as a visual too - think yoda on Luke’s back telling him what he’s doing wrong and replace with parent looking over DC shoulder all the time to check they’re doing it right :)

Laundry would have been a relatively quick win to take them off to a launderette and cover darks/whites/mixed etc. Launderettes are less scary than home machines as they have less options usually too

DS already at least used to separating dirty clothes into three baskets at home so hopefully that logic sticks with him

DS is worried now about creased clothes : they aren't even dirty! He has Next next to him, as it were! I told him to go and buy 3 or 4 t shirts if he needs to as they are only about £8.

Thanks for the kind words. He is getting fixated on accessing his banking, creased clothes and food. I bought him a Nandos voucher so hopefully he will invite someone there.

Just been on the phone to him for 20 minutes! Good thing I have no marking and a free period!!

I really don't give a fig about the whole RG thing fere. People who do are very vocal on corers of MN and that one of them was a teacher boiled my blood a bit. the first uni someone mentioned with disdain on that thread was DS's. !

He doesn't want to be a top flight lawyer anyway!