Our DC are nearly all officially students now (going to university 2019/20) - seizing the moment, spending, socialising, societies and studying!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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[Edited by MNHQ to fix the link]

Major backpack alert. Realised I had her ‘find my location’ on my phone earlier, to see she was in an overgrown abandoned car park. Waited 5 mins and she had just moved a couple of spaces around abandoned car park. Hopefully car park has been transformed into a lovely cafe or university building since google last photographed it.
Think the best thing to stop worrying is to turn location services off!!!!

I'm worried.

I'm just off the phone to DS. He said very little except that he was stressed, but sounded shaky and on the verge of tears. I dont know how best to support him.

Any advice?

That’s very worrying, dos your FS have any lectures or meeting today something he needs to go to that has others there?

When did he go? Has he been ok till now?

Sorry your DS

Cailleachian is he anxious usually? Poor him and you. Can you wait a few hours then send a text?

He;s at Brighton Uni....a very very long way from home.

He had a horrible journey down there, but sounded buzzing when he arrived on Sat. Yesterday, he seemed OK, but said he hadnt really met anyone yet, and was off to an induction meeting in the afternoon. He had an introductory lecture this morning.

I think the issue is that his flatmates seem to be quite solitary...they are hiding in their rooms, and he hasnt really met anyone yet. He's also not coping with the heat, and I'm worried that he's getting a bit overwhelmed (he has mild aspengers)...and because he hasnt really met anyone yet, he's not got anyone to buddy up with him through the initial stages of registration/induction/freshers.

He also doesnt have ID, which means that he cant get into pubs. He doesnt drink anyway, so its never been an issue, but I think a lot of the freshers events are quite drink orientated.

Oh that's a real shame about the flatmates. It's really early days though

@Cailleachian. Sorry to hear that, I hope he finds someone soon. Can he think of an excuse to knock on a flat mate's door?

@ZandathePanda. Love the photo! I saw a photo of a dog in NY wearing an IKEA bag with holes for legs!

Sounds like a dip after all the hype and excitement of going. Others will emerge eventually but perhaps they also lack confidence. Is it sc or catered accommodation? Could he give one neighbour a knock to see of they want to go out or need anything? Or has something specifically upset him?

I'm another one not getting much news. I left ds a bit unhappy...I left him for a while and went into the city to look for some extra things he needed. I was gone a few hours, expecting him to have gone off with roommates to get stuff for freshers etc. But he said everyone was in their rooms with doors shut. He thought parents were still in the rooms too. He wasn't sure what to do or how to find out about that evening's party.
I messaged him when I got home to see how he was, nothing. I messaged 3 times, the last message I said if he replies to say he's found someone to talk to and sorted freshers then I'd stop nagging.
Anyway, he did message eventually to say he'd been chatting to someone and they were off to the party.
I've heard nothing since. Just a text to say he's ok and finding his way around would be good.

@ZandathePanda My ds is supposed to be in an introductory lecture right now but location app is showing him in the middle of a wood

I’m going to wait till the lecture is supposed to be over & try to contact him

Its catered accomodation (and apparently the food is a bit meh, which hasnt helped). I dont think he's been sleeping, he had an overnight journey down which will have knocked his body clock out and I know he's been having trouble sleeping with the heat and when you are tired everything seems a bit more overwhelming.

I think he's feeling alone in a crowd when he was so excited about all the new people he would meet and the fun he would have.

Decorate I have gone from to to. Will stop looking!
Cailleachian it’s a worry isn’t it. I gave Dd a doorstop and she propped her door open so she could say Hi to everyone (I hoped she’d do this). If everyone is holed up in their rooms it sounds like they may be feeling out of sorts too.

So they must come out to eat. Maybe try hanging about at mealtimes or knocking. Or go to canteen and join others.

Was there a fb group for accommodation, maybe he could track some of those down for company,

It's awful to be worried about your DC when they are so far from home Cailleachian. The weather is going to cool down quite a lot this week, so hopefully he will be OK on that front.

DD had to take her passport with her to register. Does your DS not even have a passport? Or a railcard even?

Unfortunately DD isn't well. She stayed in last night and has been trying to make an appointment with the GP today.

Does his SU card not count as id, or order a provisional driving licence.

I had to order DD a provisional licence for her to have ID to prove that she was 18. The bars in our local town don't allow under 18 in after 10pm on a Saturday, even if they aren't drinking.

DS has got a job, has to bring his passport in to the induction.

I felt awful last week Saturday, we dropped off stuff, had lunch then waved him off. All the other parents made a weekend of it staying in a hotel and not leaving till Sunday evening. So DS did not meet flatmates until the Monday. We thought we ought to drop and run at the time.

He doesnt do social media and he doesn't have his formal registration until tomorrow (when presumably he gets his uni card), but I've been told Brighton is super strict about needing ID to go to pubs/clubs.

He has no ID - he lost his (about to expire) passport a few months back, and getting a new passport was an expense that I really didnt need in the run up to him going away. and I didnt really realise how essential ID was until pretty late on.

Am going to email him with some general pointers I think. I think he will be fine once his course starts. I know he will find his tribe in the end, and the flatmates cant all avoid each other forever....but he just sounded so miserable :(

Ds agrees that id on the door is the norm, even for SU events.

A provisional licence had to be produced in our home town in pubs to prove he was 18 so we guessed it was applicable at uni.

DS went to a nightclub they had bouncers, had to take off belts put everything in their pockets in a basket then go through a scanner, he said it was like Manchester airport.

I have now had a text exchange with my normally happy-go-lucky DS and he is also not too happy. He is regretting his choice of accommodation as he says he sees no one at all and the place is a ghost town. It is a sc unit of 6 rooms with shared kitchen, not quite a flat, though as it has no lounge area but does have a kitchen table. Not once has he seen anyone else in the kitchen and he feels like he lives alone.

He knows there are 3 other lads in but thinks the remaining 2 rooms are unoccupied. The place is really cheap and close to lectures. We have told him that it may be that the other 2 rooms will be taken by older students not going to Freshers, but that it is early days. He isn't really happy with his own company. I have suggested that he buys something to share and bangs on all doors later.

Where is that justasking? Seems a bit extreme.