Are all universities full of drug-taking party animals?

[Fibbke]

A friends dd is half Danish and after looking around a few unis in this country has decided to go to university in Copenhagen. She was horrified by the "drugs and the squalor" at the unis she looked at and knew people at. My own dd is very put off going to uni for the same reason.

Do they have a point?

Tinkly did she tell you at the time or after she'd left? I did a load of drugs when I was younger and pretty sure my parents didn't know, I don't ever let on to my teenagers though but do feel I might suspect if they were dabbling.

I went to one of the ‘heaving with drugs’ universities mentioned upthread and I was very disappointed by how square my fellow students were.

Did not socialise much with poshos though, and restricted my substance intake to snakebite.

The only thing my DS is addicted to is his books. He hardly ever goes out and spends all his time studying, to the point where I wish he would give himself a break. His house has a mixture of students, some go out more than others but none of them seem to be party animals.

Haha Bubbles I was in a Tuscan town recently with my eldest daughter and son and smelled a delicious smell and said Mmm lovely that reminds me of [my childhood home]. They looked at each other and said Er Mum that's weed (my brother had a little cannabis farm in our loft which my parents were ignorant of - it's been a few years since I've smelled the smell!).

What's the point in having a youth if you don't misspend at least some of it...

I got off my face in various ways. Still got a good degree and career...

Goodbye that's brilliant!!

“And most parents are none the wiser”

And I suspect that the posters on here saying their student DC never drink alcohol are also none the wiser. Yes, there are young people who don’t drink to excess, but I really don’t believe that there are that many young people who never touch a drop of alcohol (cultural and medical reasons excepted)

“In other words surely once DC go off to uni don't parents on the whole stop asking too many questions to which they might not like the honest answer? Or am I unusual?”

I think that is the best path to take Goodbye

My friend’s DS is at Newcastle and he says that plenty of people drink, but he thinks that drink is the preferred option over drugs.

Hopefully - lol - only partly joking - of course they’re not

I actually think unis have tightened up on drinking since I went 30 years ago. Back then we aere considered adults and there wasnt much hand holding.

My eldest two went through uni. plenty of rugby so plenty of drinking. Eldest tried weed, it put him straight to sleep so he said he missed out on the party for a few hours, woke up to party some more to find everyone passed out. Middle one tried a few things but preferred beer.

The only time we had a problem was the night the A level students went out to celebrate. A friends daughter was out of it after two drinks, my sons were convinced she was not drunk, so brought her back to our place. Poor girl was in an awful state, someone had spiked her drink. We kept an eye on her all night. Even in the morning she was not normal, that gave all the girls a bit of a jolt before they even got to uni.

There are so many drugs in school at times so why not at uni. but if you want a degree you cannot party as others may do.

goodbyestranger don't parents on the whole stop asking too many questions to which they might not like the honest answer?
Agree there. The only reason I know one of mine dabbled is because he told me. I haven't asked the other. I sleep better in ignorance.

She is a posho. As are we! Good to know it's us that are doing all the drugs at uni

OP I think she was unlucky
There is alcohol and drugs at unis but there always has been but anecdotally my friends kids have had less interaction with it that we did (we all are now sensiblish and generally respected professionals now) principally because it costs too much and also fees focus the mind when huge amounts of money are involved. The accommodation also costs more because its generally not squalid like a lot of it was when we went and there is a much higher proportion of purpose built accommodation.
You can find crap unis, crap accommodation, crap students and crap courses but you can also find amazing ones too!

I went to college for four years and partied a good bit and not once did I witness drug usage, I think it just depends on your circle of friends as none of my friends even smoked either 🤷‍♀️

goodbyestranger don't parents on the whole stop asking too many questions to which they might not like the honest answer?

Totally agree with ^^ - we are just embarking on the Uni Open Days and so far mixed feelings about accommodation - some surprisingly good (at a cost), some disappointingly bad (I wouldn't call it squalor but a good deep clean wouldn't go amiss). I've been surprised to see quite a few Uni's looking like building sites because they are building both new accommodation and extending Campus facilities (but this is positive).

You just have to be realistic - Universities are in the main sites where 18- 22-year-olds reside, these are young adults who are having their first taste of freedom away from parents and restrictions.

Yes but they only make a percentage of the students. There are lots of moderate people and non drinkers... the loud druggie students are just the loudest.

Alcohol plays a big part though

Fibbke - it’s not just a northern universities with this reputation. You need to add Bristol to your list of drug taking party animals. My DD is there and thought beforehand that the university reputation was exaggerated on social media. But it has actually been far worse than she expected. Even her friends at Manchester with its party reputation are stunned by how much of a party culture there is at Bristol. It has actually been quite frightening at times for my DD who (despite what others have said on previous threads) is not a shy, retiring introvert with no life experience.

You're going to get drugs and party animals everywhere, but give it time and you'll meet your own sort and do what suits you more with them. When we visited university accommodation, two lots told us they basically spend Saturday evenings in their accommodation cooking a joint meal and chatting. That won't happen everywhere, but shows there are many who're content for the simple life.

It's true there will be a wide variety of students everywhere, and many will not take drugs - but i think an issue can arise if a 'non-party' student ends up in a hall or flat where many other students do. Even if the non-party student looks for friends elsewhere, that doesn't alter the fact that they're living with the partyers.

If I think about it, I would find it unnerving/even intimidating to live with or be around people taking drugs (sheltered life, me!) or drinking vast amounts - so how much more so would some 18 yr olds find it.

Part of the problem may be with how accommodation is arranged in newer style halls - in flats rather than long corridors, so you are much more in a shared living space with other students.

It has actually been quite frightening at times for my DD who (despite what others have said on previous threads) is not a shy, retiring introvert with no life experience

My dd is the same. Bristol sounds particularly bad. I know three boys that are there and all take a lot of drugs according to dd1 (all from comprehensive school btw!).

I don't mind a bit of weed but all meeting up to go the pub on ket is desperately scummy.

If I think about it, I would find it unnerving/even intimidating to live with or be around people taking drugs (sheltered life, me!) or drinking vast amounts - so how much more so would some 18 yr olds find it dd feels the same.

Some places do ask for preferences when allocating accommodation fibbke - I imagine if you ask for and get 'quiet' flat mates there might be less chance of ketamine?!

Another alternative if dd's very concerned is to live at home if you're close to a suitable university or course. I know many on mn think that is not getting a proper university experience, but I think for some students it can be a good way to do it, particularly if otherwise they'd be nervous about going at all. Not all 18 yr olds are ready to navigate the difficulties of living with 7 others, and there is nothing wrong with that! (I don't think I've ever been ready to live with people who take drugs tbh - is that so unusual?)

She will definitely want a uni close to home.

Dd1 had the choice of alcohol free, which she didn't want but no quiet or NO Drugs which would have been great.

And before you write dd off as overly sheltered, my brother died of a drugs overdose and another sibling has alcohol problems so we don't tend to see class A drugs and excessive booze as fun.