Applying for Uni 2019 Part 6: exams, leaving school/college (the end of an era), a long summer holiday and Results Day on the horizon

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Just when exam season gets fully underway our previous thread has almost filled up. Everyone welcome .

DD just finished French Bac and gets her results on July 5. If she doesn’t get the grades she has to wait until A level results to come out before she can access clearing. Alternatively she has a place at the Sorbonne, but this is very much a last resort. Fortunately she has a relatively low offer for Cardiff - her first choice. In fact the question she most frequently poses is what happens if she does much better than expected?

She can go through Adjustment.

I am not sure that having all this choice, including Adjustment, is necessarily a good thing for young people. What do you think?

@TapasForTwo In my home country, university students are fully supported by parents throughout. There is no expectation that students will fund anything until they graduate. There are no jobs for students anyways. it is a third world country so you might not want to take that as the "model" to follow.

Personally i think if parents can afford it of course they should support their offspring through their studies, but if they cannot, it shouldn't just be, "You are 18 now, we wash our hands of you!" type thing thing, it should be a sit down conversation about how they can meet the short fall, if there are some hrs the young person can do for work, perhaps parents or student can get a loan. Education should be seen as an investment in the future.

On another topic and probably controversial but I don't think 18yr olds should be classified as "adults". I think 18-21 yr olds are on the 'cusp' of adulthood. The category eg "Adolescent" to mean someone who is no longer a child but still needs advice and support from parents should be the official label and should be the official term for university students or anyone of that age.

To me an adult is someone who is at least 21yrs, no longer requires input from parents (barring the occasional help, eg childcare, a loan etc). They can pay for their own accommodation, they have completed their education or training and can get a job.

The confusion in the UK is by calling 18yr olds "adults" people think, "well you're an adult!", therefore you should pay find/fund your own way. But Universities (in this case) are saying, "there's a parental contribution expected". it contradicts the meaning of the word. The reality is most 18-21yrs olds aren't equipped enough yet financially or mentally do this on their own.

Brilliant post Shimy
You have hit the nail on the head about 18 - 21 year olds.

I agree TapasForTwo and Shimy. It takes going away to university to learn to be a fully functioning independent young person.

I am not sure that having all this choice, including Adjustment, is necessarily a good thing for young people. What do you think? I pretty much agree - especially in relation to my own DD. She really liked Cardiff and they made her an achievable offer, but felt obliged to apply to five unis just because she could. She had higher offers from Exeter and Sheffield and Bristol offered her a place on a slightly different course. In the end and after much discussion and soul searching she firmed Cardiff because that was her favourite - though silly as it sounds I think she would have been more decisive if they'd made her a higher offer. Obviously it's good to have a choice, but that choice can sometimes be overwhelming. The idea of being able to rethink everything again through Adjustment is a bit mind-boggling. Funnily enough I think having an easier offer may have taken the pressure off her a bit so she's been less stressed which may well result in her getting better results. My feeling is she likes Cardiff, she likes the course, she liked the accommodation when we visited - she only applied to Russell Group unis so there's not that much to choose between them. If she exceeds their offer well that's only to the good for her CV in the future. It is difficult to choose - you only really know what it will be like once you are there (and by the same token you'll never really know if it would have been better or worse at the ones you rejected). If she went to the Sorbonne, Tapas, it would be as good as free and she would live at home so no accommodation costs, but I feel quite strongly that part of the experience of university is about taking that first step towards leaving home. A sort of practice run (also for dd living in the UK will be as much of a year abroad - or even three years - as for those British kids who head in the other direction).

How exciting for your DD, coming over to the UK from France. Cardiff seems to get lots of good press from a student's perspective. I tried to encourage DS to apply but for some very insular reason he would only consider courses in England. I think a year abroad should be compulsory for all students; hoping that DS will get the opportunity to convert to doing one in his course, once he gains some confidence.

DS getting ready for his lads holiday. No luck with finding a part-time job yet. Thinking he may have missed the boat.

There’s a high possibility Dd will get higher results than her offer. She only put 2 universities down and her firm is definitely the one she wants. She loves the course and the city. Fingers crossed she has done well but there’s no way she’d want to go through adjustment anyway.

I agree with all you say shimy. we have second year uni students at work at the mo and they still look like very young people who need some adult guidance and support, bless them!

Definitely agree re the 18-21 talk, DS1 is 21 and is only now going to uni in September, lots of his friends are finishing this year, they still seem so young even after finishing.
DS1 is well equipped for uni life having spent the last few years working and doing a few courses, I think he will apply himself and really make the most of the time he has there, at 18 he would have been hopeless, he’d have spent too much time on his social life and gaming on his computer!
DS2 is just 19 and also going in September he seems very young and I’m hoping university will really help him stand on his own and develop into a more capable person where life skills are concerned, he’s not a full adult yet, I’m sure of that.

There is so much more common sense on this thread. DD took a gap year because she wasn't sure about the university or the course. Having worked and done loads of volunteering it has done so much more for her self confidence and anxiety. She has even seen the doctor about coming off her anxiety meds.

I am so proud of her.

Just popping back in after a long day. I’m very surprised at the general consensus about ‘adults/adolescents’. I was expecting strong disagreement. Great minds and all that. I think the moral of this thread is stick to this thread! All the sane people are here.

On a separate note, have all your teens got their licenses or done driving lessons? I’m worried DS is behind with this, he’s just about to begin lessons.

@TapasForTwo having a dc who is also on meds. I know what a huge improvement/development that must be to be thinking of coming off medication. That is cause for a separate celebration all of its own. Happy times!

"On a separate note, have all your teens got their licenses or done driving lessons? I’m worried DS is behind with this, he’s just about to begin lessons"

DD has no interest in learning to drive yet. She says there will be little opportunity to drive while she is at university. She has a provisional licence for ID purposes though.

Thank you Shimy. A year ago she wouldn't talk on the phone to anyone she didn't know. The job application process has made her do this, and ow she will ring the GP, various shops to see if she left her coat in the changing room, other businesses etc. I can't believe how far she has come in the last year.

She is still nervous about going to university though.

Re driving, DD will only start learning in September once her holiday plans are done.

It’ll be tough for her until she can drive as we live rurally but I’m hoping she can get her licence by Christmas.

Mine has failed his theory three times. Annoyingly. One more go in a few weeks. Fingers crossed.

sitting theory for third time next month. We suggested he laid off with all his revision after he failed the second time, his head was not in the right place at all.

It's the trend amongst my DS's school (London) to get driving lessons for yr 17th birthday. Many had lessons at lunch break or during free periods. Loads drove to school despite the huge array of buses and trains available. My DS is a bit behind and has just passed his theory but is determined to pass his practical before he starts uni

Both my dds passed their driving test by uni. Its just easier to do when you're younger I think

I wish DD has shown more interest in learning, but she just doesn't want to yet.

Ooh! A bit of a mixed bag. Error September you said. Will that be st their uni town?

How does it work if you’re away at uni. Do they book someone in their uni town for term time and then book someone else when they’re home on holiday?

@Shimy DD will be having a gap year so will learn at home. She boarded for sixth form & it couldn’t work logistically! She’s raring to learn now and badgers us constantly to take her to a quiet car park for a bit of practice. I’m hoping it won’t take too long - though that could be famous last words!

DS just doesn’t seem interested in learning and I can’t figure out why. Had his provisional since 16. I’ve practically forced to find out about lessons and explained the implications to him for work, moving about etc.
Piggy & mineswine good luck to yours DS’s for their next theory or practical. At least they’ve started.

DS boarded too but many still have lessons arranged whilst at school. But DS didn’t want to. We thought he’d be eating to go. Taking a year out has all sorts of advantages.